advertising and other stuff. no, really.



Monday, April 30, 2007

Hello Chief?

“Would you believe I’m calling you from a blog?” As much as MTLB readers know how I just love Steve Carell in the Office, this may actually be a great role for him: Maxwell Smart in the upcoming Get Smart movie. Only problem is whether this flick will be able to successfully transition from TV Land lore into well-worn Austin Powers territory.

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Sunday, April 29, 2007

Weekly what the...?

Patrick Swayze's mosaic of manhood.
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Best Spring Evil Hamster poem ever.
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Condiment Packet Gallery.
(via Fast Food Fever)
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Psychedelic Republicans trading cards.
(via
giantmonster!)

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eBay item of the week. No takers yet? Shocking.
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Saturday, April 28, 2007

The NFL Draft: football season is here people.

Oh I know what you’re thinking, that the season started with the combine. Nuh-uh. Today. Today is the day when our dreams are realized–or shattered. Where for two days, people actually care about who Mel Kiper Jr. is. It’s the day you scream that your team picked who? And then one year later go “That guy is amazing—I knew it along.”

I attended it a few years back and can safely say, it’s an experience like no other. (You can read all the sorry details in my Sports Illustrated-like epic of an article here.) Watching today, I can tell nothing’s really changed, not even Kiper’s hair. First round picks who can’t even spell ‘first round pick’ win the NFL’s lottery while their families jump for joy around them. A QB who thinks he’s Top 3 drops to 22. The Bills take someone to replace the person they shouldn’t have gotten rid of in the first place. Yep. The stars are aligned and all is as it should be. This year’s gonna suck, I just know it.

And where else but NYC will you see fans booing a player they hate–even when they’re on stage as part of a tribute to the recent VT tragedy. Yet, there they were, giving the Bronx cheer to Michael Vick, one of a few invited alumns of VT. The Draft is also one of the few live events where anything goes and the fans are very much part of the atmosphere, as it should be as well. Can’t blame them. They’re just warming up for later in the season when they’ll be booing these new millionaires for real.

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Sony launchs P2 game in UK—old school style.

Like, medieval old school for the release of God Of War II with an actual goat sacrifice. Now that’s a promotion. Four out of five Sony marketing execs who choose blood and gore agree:

“...and enormous fun to boot.”

(via Drudge)

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Friday, April 27, 2007

Mets and steroids oh my.


I knew there was something wrong with the size of Mr. Met’s head compared to the other league mascots. You could just tell. A year ago, it was like, three feet around. Now? Like fucking Sputnik. You know it’s bad when Barry Bonds goes “Dude, what’s with your head?”

Bet the steroids were overpriced too, just like their concessions.

(via Drudge)


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Won’t. Matter.

Ladies and gentlemen, your presidental candiate and her pick for VP, (or vice-versa). Debate or no debate, they’re both too strong individually not to team up, so Dems should stop dancing around the issue right now and start printing up the banners. A unified Democratic team a year-and-a-half out building name recognition among voters would be unheard of. Hannity would be beside himself. It’s what I’d do if I was running their show. The other 800 lb. issue in the room is whether America would be ready for both a woman and African-Amercian pres/VP team. They haven’t shown they are, Geraldine Ferraro notwithstanding.

Either way though, it just may not matter. As I said months ago before the political hacks did, President Thompson enters the race. Lieberman’s his running mate. Bob’s your uncle. Not saying I like it. Just sayin. (Thompson needs a running mate with international cred, so Condi or even Colin Powell could be an outside pick here. The rest of the GOP is weak, Rudi’s strength during 9/11 notwithstanding.) Still, I’m sticking with the good senator from Connecticut though. 2008 will come down to Iraq, not social security, immigration or healthcare. Obama is the speaker Hillary can never be and he’ll capture the hearts and minds Hillary can’t. Still, the GOP machine will again plant the seeds of doubt in voters’ minds as to who’s man enough to deal with the Middle East. Failing that? Bush will pull an early October surprise around July and the Dems won’t have the war to use politically.

Get used to it son. There’s gonna be an old new sheriff in town. Don’t think it can happen? Two words: Ronald Reagan. UPDATE: And so it begins.

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ABC. ALWAYS. BE. COVERING.

Your ass.

Man, send the Cristal over to Alec’s PR peeps for pulling this one off. Guy really is a pretty good actor. Way to get both Barabara Walters and Rosie singing your praises while excusing your behaviour–for you. Alec, you shoulda just said, “I fucked up. Went too far.” Stop right there and don’t even bring in the “I was really angry at what Kim did in the past and the media is responsible because....” Good father? Fuck you–go home and play with your kids. (Hope dictionary.com has enough server space on their narcissist definition page–I know Madonna, Angelina and Orpah have all been fighting for more PT there.)

Always. Be. Covering.

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And so they continue.




Please, RotoStop.


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¿Quien es mas macho?

Speaking of awkward moments in sports flicks. Was watching White Men Can’t Jump again. (It was on, I had to.) And at the end, you get to that awkward slo-moment between Woody and Weslie. You know the one. Which reminded of another ‘special’ slo-moment in Rocky 3, after Sly beats Carl in the second beach race. Peeee-robably not the most manly of scenes for either pair of actors. That both moments come right after impossible scenarios makes it even more fun: John Stockton Woody can barely touch rim and all of a sudden he can jam like Kobe? Sly can barely spell race let alone win one, now all of a sudden he beats Carl in the 40? Yeah, ok.

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Idiots.


The next generation of Logo reducers tipped me off to this older MTV spot ‘against drink driving’ from JWT/London. Simple, with a nice payoff set up by various drunk people idiots. (For the record, I was never wet pants guy.)

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Master, he has insulted your ROI!




Guess the ROI geeks got jealous of the marketing Rock Stars and went with the martial arts theme. (For your safety, click to enlarge.)


It’s Rock Star Friday.





Attention Rock Stars, you now have your very own magazine.

Rock on.

(Click to enlarge your Rock Star status. Thanks to HighJive.)


Climate change ambassador.

This Unpluggit is a Ben & Jerry’s viral effort aimed at getting people to unplug their computers. Why unplug? Well, I’ll tell you. According to the site, it’s to help cut down on energy still used even when stuff is turned off. Now, I really never thought about that, I just like virals that use sex to get their point across. Even then, I’m still too lazy to crawl under the desk and unplug. I’d also have used fear. As in, no matter how many surge protectors you have, unplug your stuff so it doesn’t fry during a lightening strike and you end up replacing your motherboard–just like idiot me had to once.

Coupla peeves. First, after seeing that job title, I wonder also if there might not be ‘Rock Star’ Climate Change Ambassadors out there too. Secondly, I love microsites and virals that drive you there and all that–when they work. But either upload better footage or link it from YouTube. Maybe it’s a UK bandwidth issue or something, but the embedded Flash movie here stutters big time and hurts the cause. I’m sure there was enough in the budget to up the frame rate from four per second. The Roger Patterson Bigfoot film was easier to watch.

Yep. Another creative award thing.

AdOfTheMonth.com was founded by Dalbir Singh from Ogilvy/Budapest. Although this one won’t cost you anything and the judges critiquing the online submissions actually give their name and photo, not some anon troll who goes “This ad sucks.” Now, like real award shows, there’s no guarantee that the entrees are legit. Still, maybe award shows could go this way by making them free to enter. At least smaller agencies won’t go broke feeding that entry fee demon.

Still there.


Was thinking of a career change after seeing a pop-up ad for Art Instruction Schools. Yes, the free art test people who’ve been around forever. (Peanuts creator Charles Schulz was a grad, who knew?) But then, I remembered something: I’m allegedly an art director, so there’s no way in hell I can draw, let alone a pirate. Guess I’ll stick to blogging.

Thursday, April 26, 2007

Peyton Manning shows Alec Baldwin how to raise a child.


Granted it’s Peyton’s 400th appearance in something, but it’s Lol! funny! (I’ll never say that again, I swear.) Check out his mentoring skillz in this SNL skit. I’m actually surprised the United Way and the NFL didn’t say anything about this harming their new Golden Boy’s image.

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Why owners SHOULD do their own spots.


Because of material like this for me to have at it.

I give you, Flea Market Montgomery. (Thanks Zeke.)

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Request line now open.

Ok, little shout-out for a worthwhile cause. A writer friend of mine whose son is autistic tipped me to this. The band Five For Fighting is generously donating $0.49 to Autism Speaks for each time their video is viewed. You don’t have to donate anything besides a few minutes to watch it. The funding goes toward research studies to help find a cure. When you have a moment, please watch it and pass it along to your friends and family. They are aiming for 10,000 hits. (On a personal note, I know at least four creatives with autistic kids.) The numbers are scary when you realize 1 in every 150 children are diagnosed with it. Thanks.

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The British are waving. The British are waving.

My title sucks, I know. It’s all I can come up with right now though. First, there was the campaign to give the finger to Hummers. Now comes a campaign to rid England of 4x4 vehicles. (Good luck trying that here.) Anyway, go their site, download a sign for your car, and wave 4x4xBye next time you see one. I mean, over there. Well, maybe here. I don’t know. This whole thing’s very British.

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FCC: one step closer to your living room.

Or your mobile. Or online. Or wherever the hell it is you watch TV now. According to Drudge, Big Brother the FCC has come to the conclusion the V-Chip isn’t working, and that parents need more tools to help keep TV violence away from kids. No. No they don’t. Parents have all the tool(s) they need right now. In deference to Alec Baldwin’s parenting rant and the current PC daze we find ourselves in, it’s called “What the hell are you watching? TURN THAT OFF!” Now, again, if the FCC wants to do something useful?

Regulate the audio levels of all programming.

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Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

LOVE SUCKS.

SO NOT ONLY DO I SPEND TWO YEARS IN A CHINESE PRISON GETTING TORTURED, BUT MY WOMAN COMES LOOKING FOR ME AND SUPPOSEDLY DIED. WHICH, NOBODY TELLS ME BECAUSE THEY NEED ME TO FIND AND DISARM SOME NUKES. THEN, WHEN I DO FINALLY TRACK HER DOWN AFTER DISCOVERING SHE’S ALIVE? SHE DOESN’T KNOW WHO I AM. AFTER WHICH, I TAKE A FEW SLUGS AND GET ARRESTED JUST FOR FUN. AND IF THAT’S NOT BAD ENOUGH, MY BOSS IS A YOGA INSTRUCTOR.

TALK ABOUT A KICK IN THE NUTS
.

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Wi-Fi. The next danger?

Via Drudge comes word that the UK wants to study possible harmful effects of Wi-Fi on people. The thinking behind all this is that an electromagnetic field disrupts normal cells in the body, so having Wi-Fi all around you is maybe something that needs looking at. Hard for some to believe. Conventional wisdom says everything causes cancer, so what does it matter, right? If it’s not one thing that will kill you, it’s another. Me, I should have webbed hands by now from all the screenprinting chemicals I breathed in while in college, let alone the 20 cases of Spray Mount I’ve likely breathed in over the years.

But unless you’ve been in a cave or don’t care, it’s hard to ignore current data showing the health risks of ambient electromagnetic fields from power lines and other sources. Older computer monitors. Cell phones. Microwave ovens. By now, do you really need convincing to spend less time with those things? Wi-Fi may not be that much of a leap either. At one time cigarettes and asbestos shingles were safe too. The picture by the way, shows an experiment by artist Richard Box where fluorescent lights were place below power lines—without hooking them up to anything.

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Monday, April 23, 2007

M&M’s Addams Family spot.



It’s creepy and it’s ooky.


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Texas and the rest of the South, I have an idea.

Heard from ihaveanidea.org after my Texas comment on Portfolio Night 5 and it seems like agencies down South have been emailing them as well. Keep it up. Let em know you want to be a part of it. (Email Brett McKenzie here.) They have two weeks until the portfolio night so hound their ass like a jr. trying to get an interview with a CD. There’s also more songs from the house band Burn Back here and on myspace. James, AC, where you guys at? (And someone email Mack, tell him to put down the kid and the Gatorade and look at some books.)

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One man on—time to call The Wolf.

Cool Gatorade spot with Jeter and Harvey Keitel. The Wolf on the field as first base coach slash mystical badass. At first, I thought he may not be the best choice because he sounds like he’s trying to come off as the typical Gandolfini-like gangster. Then I realized, it’s The Wolf. Don’t mess with The Wolf–ever. (And as an added extra bit of fun, you can buy the shoes Jeter allegedly wore for the shoot.)

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Saturday, April 21, 2007

Hallmark says print isn’t dead.


(Close, but still breathing.) They came out with a line of sound cards that play quotes from flicks like Napolean Dynamite. The sound thing is an old idea but the movie thing is kinda ok. This is Hallmark we’re talking about so it’s on the safe side for sure. No clips from Trainspotting, Bad Lieutenant or Pulp Fiction. If I was doing it though? I’d pay Sam Jackson and make them custom: SHAKE THE CARD AGAIN FOR MONEY. I DOUBLE-DARE YOU MOTHER....

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$8 more please.

I know this one’s copyranter territory, but I couldn’t help it. I was listening to Mayor Bloomberg talk about his idea to add a Manhattan congestion surcharge of $8 for those driving below 86th Street from 6 am to 6 pm. Sweet. (He was on Fox WABC radio/NYC with Sean Hannity Lite® John Gambling for his weekly How Great Am I segment.) Amazing how every caller loved the mayor and nobody talked about his idea! Guess they’re all for it. Gosh, a few even hoped he’d run for president! (If there’s a station that kisses more politician ass, I haven’t heard it.)

Next up for NYC–a walking fee, a breathing fee and a construction debris hit me on the head fee.

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Tag, I’m it.

(I have to purge this stuff from my head people, I do.) Got nine, count ’em, nine tags so far. Whatta about a single universal tag card you sign up for online to use in any participating store. Retailers already have the barcode for each one, so they can just switch over to a single code for each consumer. You opt-in online to the stores you use–brands get to continue gathering valuable sales data we hate them so much for.

Friday, April 20, 2007

We need a label for this stuff.

First you had David Lee Roth in drag getting his message on, then you had Greenpeace taking over the Kleenex blue couch in the street campaign. Now this person does the thought bubble thing behind Attorney General Alberto Gonzales. (Two things. First, move to the left. NO, your left. Second. How are these people getting in?)

As more of this stuff happens though, we need to label it, because well, that’s what we do in this country. Label shit. It’s not really OOH (out-of-home) or experential, because the original experience in each case has certainly been hijacked. It’s guerilla in a way, but yet, not quite because there’s a political agenda behind it. Help me out here people. What do we call this trend?

Guerillical?

Virential?

(image AP Photo/Susan Walsh via digg)

Nike weighs in.

Nike stuff is always solid, but David over at The Ranch has the cleanest, simplest response that could’ve been done regarding Imus, sports and race.

Yes, even art directors prefer a copy-only solution sometimes.

ABC. ALWAYS. BE. CAREFUL.

You never know when that answering machine message will come back to haunt you. Guess Kim wasn’t the psycho after all. Man, someone call DYFS after listening to Baldwin go off on his daughter. If this is part of the 30 Rock promotion to have Alec call your friend and leave a message, sign me up.

“Ok, let’s run this around the room for some possible excuses, yeah, Al, whatta ya got?

“Jet lag. Makes you fucking nuts man.”

“Ok, but he didn’t fly that day, he was on the set. Look, we gotta work a stimulant in there people, otherwise he ain’t ever seeing the kid again. C’mon, look at Gibson for Christ’s sake. Gimmee something.”

“Maybe he thought he was talking to Stephen or Billy?”

“Nah, going off on the born again guy–wouldn’t look good. (Which one’s born again?)

“Stephen.”

“Sorry. How about No-Doze? He loaded up on the set?”

“Good, good. Jimmy, whatta ya got?”

“Imus comments sent him over the edge.”

“Eh, can’t piggyback on a racial comment in the same week. Unwritten rule.”

“Ok, how about he heard a rumor Kim was seeing Ed Norton.”

“PERFECT. I’d be out of my fucking mind. Sweet. Run with it.”

(via TMZ via Drudge.)

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Thursday, April 19, 2007













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Ad Age Markets Movies now.

Oh get me going on this one. So I’m going to pay $100 to hear theories in NY or LA on maximizing ROI for theater owners and marketing agencies? Yeah, ok, whatever. I’ll pass. Instead, got a few ideas of my own for free:

– The biggest issue is price. Don’t let theater owners sell you on the idea that everything’s fine. Yah, well I read the same numbers they do and know what else is up? DVD rentals. Downloadable content. Again, I only have two hours and you’re competing with a lot more options for that time than ever before. Theater owners should be telling brands that theaters are like travel agents before Priceline and Expedia came along, and that if they don’t act fast, they could very well be marginalized.

– Since we’re talking about movies, lemmee quote Pacino from Heat: “Don’t waste my motherfuckin’ time!” If you’re a brand thinking about ‘engaging’ me at the movies as the first point of entry, make it worth it. Suzuki films trailer? Joke because it was a BMW films ripoff. The Toyota Scion squared trailer? Now that was cool and made me want to check out the site. And please stop repeating, ‘repurposing’ rerunning the same spots you use on TV. If you can’t be bothered to come up with new content that I already pay for through my ticket price, forget it.

– Give me a free movie ticket for every 8-10 movies I see. (Brands sponsor the giveaway or not, don’t really care.) I can’t think of another industry that has ignored its customer base from the POV of a loyalty/incentive program more.

– This next one is more endemic of the problems with theaters than brand promotion, but how about lowering ticket prices a few bucks for a month and knocking the price of a soda to under what a beer costs at a Yankees game, then we’ll talk. Make February National Discount movie month or something like that. (If you must, then get a pharma brand that lowers blood pressure to promote it. Lowering of prices + lowering of pressure, get it?)

– And concessions. Oh man, you whores. Concessions already has a monopoly because you can’t bring food in, so why gouge customers? In fact, extend this to all sporting and concert events as a law: soda and candy is not allowed to sell for .50¢ over what it would in a store nearest the event. I’ll pay $2.00 for a 20 0z. soda that cost $1.50 at 7-Eleven. I may even go as high as $2.50. But $4.25 for a bottle of water? No excuse. And really, c’mon, $12 for a large soda and large popcorn?

- Offer movies at select times that show features without any commercials. It’s amazing that with the number of showings for a given movie that studios and brands don’t play around more with A-B testing, if I can get all SEO on ya. Why not block out a few weeknights as a trial to see what effect no commercials ahead of time would have? Whatta ya got to lose?

– Stop the endless tie-ins with cable channels showing their upcoming programming. All this does is piss me off more that I have to sit through all this bullshit. (Only ones who won’t mind are the fuckwad idiots too dumb to realize they shouldn’t be talking in a movie or checking their cell. The bright lights and pretty pictures of all the shows will keep them mesmerized. Fuckwads.)

– Don’t show flicks that will end up on rental shelves three weeks later.

– Moviegoer ratings/complaint system for trailers and commercials, either at a kiosk in the lobby, online website or textable by cell. Moviegoers enter movie info from ticket so studios know exactly which movie they’re referring to and whether they had issues. And, if there was a promotion run, then user enters that info too.

– Many people will go and buy the DVD of a film. So as a promotion, why not have my ticket good for a discount off the purchase of that future sale? (Like iTunes is doing with it’s Complete My Album.) Again, sponsored by a brand if you want.

Now, where’s my hundred?

,

Or, find a sucky job.





Least there’s no doubt as to the goal.

A car for REAL women.




Forget Quiznos subs, real women want a Dart.

Congratulations NBC.


You’re not only covering it, you’re part of the Natural Born Killer story. Way to embrace the internet and that ‘crazy’ new media. Nothing like slappin’ a logo on tragedy.

Saw this on adliterate. An older but still relevant ad showing how hard it is to determine the effectiveness of a brand’s ‘reach’ and ‘frequency’ when TIVO is ‘doing’ its thing. And don’t even get me started on tracking your right hand and all those clicks while surfing that actually ‘seal the deal.’

Face it, we’re just a little premature in claiming we can measure an ad’s effectiveness, no matter where it runs. (I think this post is trying too hard. Maybe later we can give it another shot?)

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

Nivea. Dedicated to the sweet mother lovin’ ass.

“I’ve seen it all” is an easy comment to make, but when something works, ya stick with it. I’ve now seen it all. This viral and TV spot for Nivea UK from TWBA London is promoting their new skin product that works on cellulite. Supposedly, it was only released as a viral according to the PR release, but then I saw it as a TV spot on YT. You sure wouldn’t guess what this stuff does though from watching it. Which begs the question, if it does work as promised, wouldn’t you want more people to know about it across all media? Why only mention it in the PR release that consumers won’t see. You have to dig a little on the microsite for product info here.

But I digress, because good brothers and sisters of Logo nation, I stand before you today to praise that ass. With apologies to the Godfather of Soul, I give you the Goodbye Cellulite Choir. You have been warned.

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Commenting issue fixed.

Sorry. Fixed problem on several recent posts where comments were turned off. I always welcome comments, so if you ever see a post without the option, it’s a mistake.

Grindhouse, home of the B-movie.

What better way to follow-up a post on gun control than with a review of Grindhouse. No gun control here, that’s for sure. I didn’t know what to expect after reading a few lousy reviews of the flick, but since it’s Tarantino and Rodrigeuz I kept an open mind. For me, I wasn’t disappointed. I watched a lot of the flicks referenced here like White Line Fever, Vanishing Point and Deathrace 2000 and a slew of zombie flicks. Both directors hold a mirror up to those slasher/exploitation flicks of the seventies and nail them perfectly. And that’s where they both work best. Lower your expectations–Pulp Fiction’s ultra-hip dialogue this ain’t, nor is it meant to be.

The first film is Rodriguez’s Planet Terror. Forget the Scary Movie series. It’s to 70s zombie horror flicks what Blazing Saddles was to Westerns and Mars Attacks! was to the UFO movies of the 1950s. No shortage of gore, bad dialogue or bullets. Pretty cool stunts too. Makes From Dusk Till Dawn look like an episode of Sponge Bob.

Tarantino’s Deathproof casts Kurt Russell perfectly in the second feature. Say what you will about Tarantino, but the guy takes stars trapped in mass-market genres and gives them new life. Quentin’s flick centers around two separate groups of women and Kurt Russell. Without giving too much away, the typical exploitation format does a 180 in a Thelma and Louise sequence at the end. Yeah, it’s got his patented dialogue scenes which some have knocked, and maybe some of those F-bomb barrages do sound better when Harvey Keitel says them. Still, when’s the last time four women sat around shooting the shit without it leading to Hugh Grant marrying one of them at the end in some date flick?

Not here.

Overall, this is exploitation film time for sure. The opening trailers, the intermission trailers, the film effect designed to age the film, missing projector reel sequences, even the fake ads for local businesses. There is also a perfect trailer for a movie called ‘Don’t!’ which is better than anything Scary Movie has ever skewered. YouTube has clips obviously shot on someone’s own video camera, but see it in actual film. (Ironic that those illegal clips further enhance the look and feel of Grindhouse.) I dunno man, people knocking this must just love the usual shit out there. For $8 and three and a half hours, they gave me my money’s worth.

Especially as a creative. Take the retro design of these films. Right now Grindhouse is the best thing going. Both directors gave it a complete Grindhouse look. They didn’t dabble. The sticky floor I felt was probably not their doing but added to the authenticity. But as retro goes so many times these days, the source material is forced or barely there. Take That Seventies Show or a commercial like The LeBrons. Both merge a sitcom format from way back with a modern slick sensibility. That’s not a bad thing because they work. I just think if you’re going to pay tribute to a certain look and feel, don’t fuck around and hide your sources under a slick veneer. Go all-in. Grindhouse has the best title sequences since Seven. (No slight on Kyle Cooper either, but the production house kicked ass on all the graphics here.)

Amazing though how people knock this. To each his own I guess. Sin City is arguably one of the coolest flicks in recent times. Pulp Fiction and Reservoir Dogs alone would buy any director a lifetime of passes. But someone like M. Night gets a pass even though he’s still trying to make a movie that convinces people Sixth Sense was no fluke. Now, I will agree with one critique heard ‘round the world: Quentin gotta stop acting in his flicks so much.

Still, Rodriguez and Tarantino have been far more consistant in their filmmaking and yet they take shit for this, which, taken on the whole, is really not that far off from their usual fair. (Save for the Kids series.) It’s making a slow crawl towards breaking even on production costs but I think it will get there–eventually. Next week will show if it has legs–or if they get cut off. For some reason, I think this will possibly have a better Second Life on DVD though.

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Gun control? How about whacko control.

Steve Hall is taking a lot of shit for his column on the recent VT tragedy and the issue of gun control. (And I thought Prince’s songs were a sore spot over there.) It’s unfortunate because he’s expressing his passion on the issue and it’s getting lost on people taking it as a direct threat to their right to bear arms.

Geez man, people, c’mon, get past the words and hear the emotion behind it all. Gun control advocate or not, we should be outraged this happened. I am. However, I also come at the issue from a decidely different POV. Everyone has their own opinion and nothing I say will change that, nor should it. Just throwing my own meandering, frustrated rant out there for consideration.

I grew up around guns. While other 8-year olds were playing with the toy versions, I was shooting the real things on a range. Learned to handle, clean and respect them, as did my brothers. My father helped built a small firearms company out of Buffalo, NY which later grew into Charter Arms. If they made it, I fired it. We didn’t think twice about the issue of guns being right or wrong. They were part of our everyday life.

Except when it came time to explain what dad did for a living:

“No, he’s not a doctor like Jimmy’s dad. No, my dad makes guns. [crickets chirping] Yeah, the .38 used to shoot Alabama governor George Wallace? His. Oh yeah, and the one The Son of Sam used? .44 Bulldog. He made that too.” And if I wasn’t despised enough at that point, “Mark Chapman also used a CA .38 to shoot John Lennon.” Talk about a nice career hat trick. (My father was out of the company at that point, not that it matters to those swearing at me right now. Maybe there’s bad karma coming my way, who knows.)

Regardless, every single time there was a major shooting, I’d hear the gun control debate loud and clear. “Guns don’t kill people...,” or “You can pry my gun from my fingers....” “Someone gets attacked with a baseball bat or knife, we’re not going to now eliminate all the bats and knives, are we?” All of it.

Now you can argue the number of guns we have in this country is so plentiful that by eliminating them, we cut down on the ratio of deaths from them by default alone. Maybe. But realistically, as long as there are some bad motherfuckers out there bent on doing what they do, they will find the guns or other weapons. They’ll likely steal them from law-abiding citizens if they have to.

They always do.

Now if you haven’t stopped reading at this point or aren’t throwing rocks at the screen, I’ll also say that while I feel there needs to be some form of general gun control, I can’t support eliminating them. Cops need them first of all. (Game hunters, please, you don’t need an AK for Bambie. Not even Chuck Heston can convince me they do.) But secondly, trying to take guns off the street does nothing to eliminate the ones that will be hidden as soon as you make the move. You’d have to declare martial law and go house to house to get them all.

Good luck there.

Inevitably, the first thing you hear after a shooting like this is, “Well, if there were gun control, there would have been no gun for so-and-so to use.” Ok. But we live in the real world, not the ‘if’ world, and we do have a lot of guns around. Wishing they weren’t doesn’t deal with the fact they’re out there now.

This nation was built on firearms, and that hasn’t changed, has it? If you wanna go further, then take Chris Rock up on his idea and have more bullet control–charge $5,000 per round. Instead, I propose there’s something else we need to better at: whacko control.

Make that, whacko detection. (And before I get comments saying I’m not being PC, how about ‘detection of people with mental health issues.’ Better?

Metal detectors in schools may pick up a concealed weapon, but who detects the list of ‘people to kill’ that some kid has in his backpack, and why aren’t they doing a better job?

To misuse another farm metaphor as I tend to do, we’re really good in this country at fixing the barn door after the horse escapes. Hell, we reassembled a 747 from nothing and determined within feet just where in the cargo hold the radio with C4 was placed that had brought it down over Lockerbie, Scotland. And in the coming days, we’re going to apply that same Good Old US of A can-do spirit and find out much about this VT shooter:

His grades. His favorite bands. His myspace friends. His dog’s name. Even the vultures on network TV news channels under the guise of “making sure it never happens again” will interview his neighbors and his coworkers for those ‘signs of trouble.’

And it won’t fucking matter.

Because we SUCK at figuring out ways to prevent that horse from escaping in the first place, let alone knowing why it wanted to. And those signs of trouble? We do nothing about recognizing them. The very characteristics and warning signs we’ll soon discover were there all along in this case.

We always do.

How many examples of ignoring the troubled, the evil people, do we need?

For weeks leading up to the Columbine massacre, the mother of one of Satan’s Spawn heard constant banging of pipes and noises late at night in her kid’s room. They wore all black and were writing hate messages on their own web pages. Yet she dismissed the sounds as nothing, returning to her work. She didn’t even know about the writings.

It’s stuff like that which truly outrages me. This denial, this attitude of, “Oh, they’re only kidding” or “They’re kids being kids.”

This has nothing to do with gun control and everything to do with failure to act on what is right in front of you, that which you know feels wrong. (And if anybody should be blamed in this, it should be VT for not locking down the whole place sooner.) After all we’ve gone through at this point in society, every threat must be treated seriously. Two hours later? 30 more dead. Officials act as if they can sleep at night knowing they did all they could.

Yeah, right.

Until we take them seriously and deal with the depressed person who says “What’s the use,” or “I want to end it all,” the student who says they “have a list” or “people will be sorry,” the despondent former boyfriend who keeps stalking his ex even with a restraining order in place...

This. Will. Keep. Happening.

So while we should think about the families left behind who lost somebody in this, also think about the others around you who are asking for help in subtle ways. Cut off access to their illegal and legal guns if you want, especially if it’s determined they have mental health issues, but take them seriously, because they will find some other way to hurt themselves and others.

They always do.

Dead horse beaten.

Or explained a little more. Hj responded to Ad Age comments in a post that I think encapulates the Imus thing pretty well. Ernie weighed in. James too.

After chilling out on the issue for a few days, I have my 1¢ to add.

1) He messed up, period. His defenders acknowledge his comments were in poor taste, but then they go on about the good things he’s done for charities, etc. Stop right there. If you admit he goofed, leave it at that. Don’t then bring in the context of his previous career to show that “he’s not a racist.” They only hurt their cause.

2) Imus wants to move on. Good for him, but it’s not his call. The people offended at Rutgers are the ones who get to say when he can move on. (As it is, they have forgiven him, but will not forget.) Otherwise, it just comes off as a contrite apology which shows no appreciable understanding of the gravity of the comment to the offended.

3) He shoulda known better. Simplistic view, but it fits. A radio professional like him? After all this time? A metro like NYC doing his thing for how many decades, and he doesn’t know by know that those comments just can’t be said anymore? Even after Rosie’s ching-chong-ching comments, Mel Gibson’s drunk comments or Michael Richards outburst? Not to mention his own promise to never to do it again back in 2000? Not buying it.

4) He’ll catch on somewhere. Somebody will pay him because somebody always does. Everyone thought Rush Limbaugh was washed up after his comments: “...that the media is desirous that a black QB do well.” And now? He’s one of WABC Radio’s top syndicated political minions.

5) It’s a free speech issue. No it’s not. There are seven dirty words the FCC has established can’t be said at certain times on radio or TV. Nobody considers that restriction to be censorship. Likewise, you can’t yell “Fire!” in a theatre or joke about a “Bomb!” in an airport. His words had nothing to do with censorship and everything to do with a time, (especially in his mind), when it was acceptable to say and hear that stuff on radio.

6) Needs to stop across the board. Can’t expect one group to be restricted by something another group is given carte blanche to say. If it’s wrong for one group, it’s wrong for all.

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Tuesday, April 17, 2007

More faith in more places.




If God’s got more bars than Cingular, I’ll sign up.

(via Tangerines in a Red Net Bag)

Blast from the past.

Wow. Another gem from 1970. Wonder if the men’s group who thinks Volvo should avoid giving their account to Arnold ever saw this ad. (Click to enlarge). Since it’s hard to read the body copy, here’s what is says:

Though she was a tiger lady, our hero didn’t have to fire a shot to floor her. After one look at his Mr. Leggs slacks, she was ready to have him walk all over her. That noble styling sure soothes the savage heart! If you’d like your own doll-to-doll carpeting, hunt up a pair of these he-man Mr. Leggs slacks. Such as our new automatic wash wear blend of 65% “Dacron®” and 35% rayon–incomparably wrinkle-resistant. About $12.95 at plush-carpeted stores.

The more things change.


1970 is a common ad theme today. Came across a link to this standards manual for the New York City Transit Authority Graphics Standards Manual from 1970. Pendulum appears to have swung as this same clean look is what we have today, albeit with a little more color.

Monday, April 16, 2007

Random Logo Project update.

Got a couple hundred shots in the group now. For new readers, the Random Logo Project is a group on Flickr I started for people to upload any logo they take a pic of. (No Photoshopped images.) See it. Shoot it. Upload it. Just add this tag to your photo: randomlogoproject when you post it to the group.

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Weekly what the...?

Martials arts center with a jingle? Yup.
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Robotic graf. Although you’ll make bail before it’s finished. (via Cynical-C)
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Conjoined pickup.

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Britney Spears infamous ‘shot’ and Michael Jackson balcony baby drop. Yes, there are action figures for each. You can also have your own made too–for $400 and change. (via Trendhunter)
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Bruce Lee lunchbox. It would beat the Chuck Norris lunchbox to death.
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eBay item of the week. It’s not for sale anymore but still qualifies. (via The Heavy Duty)
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The power of advertising.




Saw this on boingboing. Forget hidden persuasion, these were the glory days of advertising, when cigarettes were good for you and when brands agencies just flat-out sold it like it was.

I only have two hours.

Someone made that comment last year and it stuck with me. With all the ways we now have to spend our time on media, (TV shows, online webisodes, countless “DVDs of season 1 now available,” virals, blogs, mags, etc.), we only really have two hours to enjoy any one of those things fully. At least I do. Can’t read a book, watch a DVD or listen to an album all at once. Can you?

I may do some of those things, like listening to Jon Stewart while posting or surfing, but when it comes to setting aside a solid block of time to enjoy something, I ain’t multitasking. Otherwise, isn’t it really the equivalent of speedreading–material skimmed but never really enjoyed. I’ll go crazy at home watching a rented DVD if the phone rings. (As if the caller should’ve known I waited three monthes to sit down and watch the unrated director’s cut of the latest disposable slasher flick sans interruption.) My kids? They’ll talk to their friends while still watching the movie.

The next Pepsi generation may IM a few friends while texting others, all the while listening to iTunes with VH1 celebreality shows on in the background and ignore the plea for help with the groceries, but that’s not the same thing. (Hell, I can do all those things.) I just wonder how this fragmented attention media deficit syndrome will affect them later in life though. Considering they were raised with far more‘media choices’ than I ever was, will they want to spend time later enjoying ever-shortening movies or books without doing five other things at the same time? Will they be able to?

Will they even care?