advertising and other stuff. no, really.



Saturday, June 30, 2007

iFrenzy.




Just how bad do you want one anyway?

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Linkin blogs.

Paul over at Hee-Haw continues what I lovingly call the Incestuous Link Love Party that is the interweb. It’s got blogs you might want to check out, most are ones I already do. It’s also based on something being done by Drew to create a toolbox for new bloggers. He’s trying to get people to list blogs that do give a little something back and:


Are chock full of practical tips
Act as a living lab on how to write compelling blog posts
Demonstrate how to build a community
Teach marketing tools
Are welcome wagons - bloggers who spotlight newbies

Good idea, but taking it one step further, offering actual tips would help even more. Most of those bulleted items are covered off in the various links in the sidebar here, (at least those relevant to the topics I cover). I’ve also listed stuff in the past that’s helped and still does.

The main thing though, is have a POV and a voice to what you write. And if you blog just to get paid, to become a ‘Pay Per Post’ reviewer? Well, good luck with that.

Friday, June 29, 2007

The Artist Formerly Available in Record Stores?

Via Drudge comes word that Prince is about to release his new CD free in the UK via a newspaper, in addition to concert goers there getting a copy too, basically cutting out retailers. And you know what? I’m ok with that. I really am. Seriously, good for him. I’m old school in that I don’t believe file sharing sites like Napster were ever right, even with the tired excuse that record labels get too much of a cut from the price of the CD.

Maybe, but I’m also pro-artist in that I’ve always felt that only they have the final say in how their music is distributed.

If Prince wants to charge $25 a CD, fine. If he wants to give it away for free, cool too. Burn as many CDs as you can. But it’s still his choice to allow it. I’ll likely take shit from the iTunes generation for saying this, but the problem I always had with sites like Napster was just because technology existed allowing access to free songs, doesn’t mean people had a right to them. Lars was right. It is fucking stealing. You know, guns are a great technology allowing me access to banks, but you don’t see me going into Wachovia waving my Jack Bauer Special Edition HK.

So, does this move throw the industry into further turmoil? Will more artists follow suit? Is this a great move for fans and a no-brainer for Prince? (After all, who’s gonna say bad things about a free CD?)

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No credit? No job? No arms? No problem!!!



Local advertising at its best. This actually has the same kinda funky appeal that the talking animal Honda Element print work has, although I’m pretty sure that’s more a result of serendipity than strategic thinking.

Thursday, June 28, 2007

Women soak Up 5lb. of beauty products each year.



Just chumming the waters of the Dove Evolution debate.

(via redorbit.com)

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Hans Gruber is safe.

Just saw Live Free or Die Hard and his place in movie villain lore is secure. Yeah, it has the usual stunts as well as a few unusual ones–a pretty cool one actually involving a fire hydrant–and enough references to the previous three to make you feel at home. As a sequel fourquel goes, (yes, I said fourquel), it’s not that bad. It’ll definitely make a ton this weekend on the strength of the franchise’s built-in audience alone, but it comes up short in the one area a movie like this needs to be strong in:

Having great villains.

The ones here are the kind you’d find in a CSI or 24, (and even 24’s are better). Which is too bad. Like any great action flick, this series depends on memorable villains. And I’m not talking performances either, but their celebrity. If I had to venture a guess, I’d say Willis didn’t want anyone upstaging him here. Odd, considering he’s had some great competition in the other three that made those films entertaining.

(And to that point, Justin Long plays his vulnerable sidekick, but here is easily outdone by both McClane and his daughter. Now, the “I’m a Mac” ads are cool and all, but that boy needs to stop playing the insecure goofy nerd all the time and move into Keanu action territory soon.)

The Rock, Bourne Identity, Patriot Games, any Steven Seagal or Ah-nuld flick have bad guys that bring something to the table in terms of intensity and popularity. You can almost compare DH4 to Enemy of the State, where it’s basically the same bunch of government secret ops people found in DH4. Difference is, one has Jack Black, Seth Green and Jon Voight.

Here, well, if after seeing this you can name even one of the bad guys, I’ll refund your money. Case in point without revealing much: there’s a moment in a hostage scene where Bad Guy in Charge is indecisive. Would Gruber act like that? Not a chance. Gun to head. (New microsite: ‘What Would Hans Do?’ Just throwing that out there.) And I call him Bad Guy in Charge because I didn’t feel like looking up his name; he was that unimpressive for me.

Fear not, you’ll still get your Rocky 6 type closure watching Bruce hang from shit at impossible angles while spouting off one-liners. However, at this rate, it appears as if come Die Hard 7, Die Hardest, he’ll be on target to end up looking more like Vic Tayback than Stallone.

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The boss’ pet project.

Just how else can you say it? In response to my nepotism rant, (great band name by the way, ‘The Nepotism Rant’), Irene Donne brought up another agency time bandit: the boss’ pet project. Almost as bad as hearing that their kid will be enrolled in the agency summer camp program is hearing this gem: “I need you to design a
for my
.


Followed closely by what?

“Don’t spend much time on it but, you know, make it look nice.”

Which is followed by you having to cancel whatever plans you made that night. Why? The little 20 minute quickie will turn into an all-day affair, especially after your boss decides to route it through .

Meanwhile, while you’re busy trying to bury the time on another project, which by the way, you still have to finish, you’re also trying to disavow any knowledge of Frankenstein’s monster. At least the universal out “It’s not for me” helps you maintain what little bit of design pride you may still have left when coworkers happen to walk by and catch a glimpse.

But hey, things could be worse. The boss’ kid could give you the assignment.

I guess Vanilla Ice wasn’t available.


See, leaving a personal message for Ice Ice baby woulda been fun: “Hi, Mr. Ice, or is it Mr. Vanilla, anyway, damn–I never know what to say on these things–oh yeah, did you blow through all your cash from the Turbo Tax thing yet? Keep keeping it real to the g on the yo. Later.”

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Bringing you the legal ads you deserve!



“I’m Kevin Kurgis, and not only will I fight insurance companies for the money you deserve, I’ll knock your ass over to get it. Now get the hell out of my way.”

Another online game, but wait...


...I actually like this one. Not for the game OR the freakin’ pun Temple of ‘Zoom.’ It’s just nice to start seeing a brand reward you with something for sitting through their ‘conversation’ pitch. The more you score, the bigger the discount off of a Panasonic camera. Entertain consumers, yah. But reward them too, bigger yah.

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Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Look at the size of that turkey.



What the hell do they feed them in Europe anyway? Funky live action stop motion Tele2 spot from JWT Paris, but damn, that’s a big bird.

It’s great Evolution won and all...

...but if this was about starting a discussion, and there’s plenty of them, shouldn’t something more tangible come from it? Take how some products indicate whether they were made free of animal testing. Why not have Unilever from now on refuse to Photoshop any of their models and only shoot people who don’t have a ton of make-up on? Maybe forever is too long, so then try it for a year.

Or is this all just hype.

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Don’t you just wanna smack your screen right now? No? You will.

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Gas-X helps eliminates gas but produces serious side effects.


Such as puns. Like a Phoenix rising from the ashes, they are indeed alive and, well, plentiful in this ‘hilarious’ Gas-X spot. I apologize now if you feel bloated after watching it, but someone has to bring you this shit.

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Make Trevor do bad things.


Or, not. He’s an intern. An interns do what you say, no? Mentos thinks so. You can also email or phone Trevor 24/7.

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Tuesday, June 26, 2007

The great killer of agencies.

Besides shitty creative that is. (Note: I was saving this one for when my 25-word prison sentence was up. Think it’s easy making your point in 25 words or less? Try it. It’s actually a great exercise in losing your mind.)

So what’s the great agency killer I speak of? That one phrase heard above all others in agency land this time of year, sending chills down the collective back of everyone in the studio:

“My son/daughter will be working here for the summer.” That’s right kids.

Nepotism.

Now, to be clear, a summer intern who just happens to be the offspring of the person who signs your check isn’t really that bad. There’s an end in sight come fall, and maybe you can even score a few points by telling them how great their parent is as a boss. Maybe.

Don’t even get me started on its other red-headed cousin: the interoffice romance. That sucks as well, especially if the two get married and continue to work there. Still, it’s not as destructive as having Rainman on staff–forever.

This creature is a virtual black hole that sucks the energy out of a place, and there are two types of which I speak.

The first, like Dustin Hoffman, is able to function and tie their shoes, but generally is little good for anything else. Those types, well, you keep sharp objects away from and have them look at the pretty pictures in the stock photography books.

Then there’s pure evil.

The one who is equally incompetent, but doesn’t care, and worse, acts like you’re the dumbass.

While you may have pity on the former, you’re fucked either way. The agency dynamic is compromised. I have never seen an agency run smoothly when one of the boss’ kids works there. Ever.

Maybe it’s just our industry, because Donald Trump seems to make it work. Even Mom & Pop pizza places. Throw in the John Smith and Sons Plumbing businesses that make this country what it is. At least there, you expect a legacy thing where the family biz will be passed down. (And honestly, if you lost your spot on the team because Jordan’s kid was playing, well, c’mon. It’s Jordan, did you really have a chance?)

But in an agency?

Nothing kills the vibe more. Fucking nothing. You can’t say shit around them. Your ass will be ratted out before you even get back to your desk. The worst part? The kids know they aren’t going anywhere either so they’re untouchable. And when layoffs come? It ain’t Jr. who’s leaving first. It’s as if the one idiot sister who was hired by her smarter younger sister who heads up the agency had nowhere else to go. You can see their father on his deathbed: “No matter what, take care of her.”

No problem. She can work with me at the agency. Sweet.

(The only possible exception to this MTLB rule is the husband and wife design team who run a small shop by themselves. As long as they work together? Have at it. The minute they hire an employee though, the descent into hell begins.)

Shit. Gotta run. Someone got into the toner again and is licking their fingers.

UPDATE: Hj points me to a post that not only covers this topic, but a lot more personality types that kill the studio vibe.

Ask Kato.

Right now, OJ’s probably going out of his fucking mind, “How the hell did he get a commercial?” In this latest Crispin spot, women get the spotlight in another musical send-up for Ask.com. Just to set the record straight, I’ve always HATED musicals and opera–Oklahoma incident when I was eight, don’t ask–but there’s enough of a Pee-Wee Herman meets Busby Berkeley kink in these spots that make them work for me.

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Look at Tom keepin’ it real, straight from the heart yo. (Pssst, Tom, remember, you’re in Germany, just don’t extend that arm too far.)

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Soyjoy stands up for what's real–almost.

While Soyjoy may be healthier than Snickers, their spots are a little at odds with the “Stand up for what’s real” positioning. They have a series of pseudo-YouTube looking clips trying way too hard to come off as natural. Ironic too, because if that’s what they were going for, there’s a :30 from Japan which does a better job with the whole YouTube ‘whacky’ thing.

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“And the best thing about prison were the mudbaths.”



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Monday, June 25, 2007

Forget files, back-up your immune system.

Little creeped out by this, but apparently you can have a back-up copy of your immune system made for future comparison should you become sick or seriously ill.

Dell now in Wal-Mart.


Not sure who’s getting the better end of the deal here, Wal-Mart or Dell? Either way, smart move waiting to make the deal until after The Dude was gone though. You kidding? All those Reese’s cups in aisle 10?

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Tell Home Depot your story.

It’s easy. Go here. I’ll start:

Dear Home Depot,

I never thought this would happen to me.

I went into your store the other day looking for a cashier, but couldn’t find one. They’d been replaced by self-serve checkout machines. You know the kind. The ones that can’t read my card when I swipe it, forcing me to go on a search for the cashier you replaced them with? Talk about a Catch-22 kick in the nuts, huh. Anyway, by the time I did find one, she had to start all over and ring me up the old-fashioned way. Awesome. You guys rock and I hope you keep up the groundbreaking innovations, like, having just one cashier open in the garden center–on weekends.

Speaking of gardening pros, where ever did you find that talented staff. The ones who told me to buy holly bushes because “deer won’t touch it.” Guess they didn’t get the message because Bambi’s evil clan went through that shit like it was dollar draft and .50¢ wing night. Oh, and if you could do something about that pesky two feet of space around the aisles out there, that’d be cool. Nothing better than having the skin ripped off your leg by the dickwad pushing the giant lumber cart through the entrance exit. You know, the exit that’s pushed all the way over to the other side of the building?

Keep up the good work.

Sincerely,

Skinless in Seattle.

Always hire union prairie dogs.




Damn if those fuckers don’t hit their marks every single time.

Friday, June 22, 2007

Is Dove opening the floodgates now?



Beyond Madison Ave had this. Sexy? Not sexy? Does it matter? Forget the borrowed interest rampant nowadays, is this doing anything for the ‘beauty’ discussion?

Two words:

LEGO William Shatner.

New iPhone ad phones it in?



Cool product everyone’s waiting on, but this latest spot made me go, “Ehhhh, Ok. Is that all?” Definitely not as energetic as the iPod work.

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Don’t laugh.





Back then, Junior Air Raid Warden was a growth industry.

(via Mr. Kitty.)

Thursday, June 21, 2007

Study: Teen Online Talk Largely About Drugs, Sex




Gasp! You mean, like they’ve always done? The other half play Xbox 14 hours straight and make lists of schoolmates they wanna kill.

(via Drudge)

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Yup. Now it’s global ‘cooling.’


WTF. Those whacky citizen scientist marketers. Can’t we just have global ‘room temp?’ Although, I will give them cred for bucking the whole ‘warming’ thing.

(via Drudge)

The Marketing Manager Olympics.




Now, all you Rock Star DMs can have your moment in the synergistic sun. There, I said it. Ashamed? Sure. But I had to.

A little housekeeping.

The stuff below each post: “Add to del.icio.us Add to Technorati Favorites! Track co.mments Digg This!” Anyone find it useful?

Stays or goes?
Free polls from Pollhost.com

Image is nothing?



Riiiighhht. That’s the game we’re in. As if on cue, Drudge proves the point. Cute videos won’t compete with headlines like that. (Actual clip here.)

What took them so long.


YouTube came out with a remix app that lets you download clips and duh, remix them. Cool idea if you don’t already mash your own.

(via Darryl at brandflakesforbreakfast.com)

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Yeah, well, His Holiness never had to drive I-95 either.


“Cars shall not be for you an expression of power and domination, and an occasion of sin.”

And other gems here.

(Image found here.)

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Remember when docs were things nobody watched about stuff nobody cared about?



Moore’s politics aside, his PR people deserve major props for Sicko. A Faux news interview. A ‘leaked’ film. Harvey’s ‘devastated.’ All before it even opens.

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Hillary and Obama just get that interweb thing. Or not.








Cute songs? Talk issues instead. GOP supporters will again use YouTube to plant those seeds of doubt, then disavow responsibility. At that point? Damage done.

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Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Saul Bass meets UPS whiteboard in V water spot.



Sure, it’s basically water, but this spot from 20:20 contrasts Glaceau’s efforts pretty nicely. Not to mention the site’s little dog as rooster.

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Hannibal Rising is killing me.



Waiting for a decent game based on recent horror flicks? Keep waiting. This DVD release promo wants to be Hostel but it’s not creepy enough.

The five worst fonts. Ever.



Brush Script, Peignot, Crillee, Cooper Black and Eras. Don’t even go “cool retro fonts!” either. These are Jurassic Park finds that need to remain dead.

Ted Nugent rips Paul McCartney for firing hamburger eating roadies...




Drudge may have outdone himself with that one.

UPDATE: I was wrong.

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Tracking down soundtracks.

The guy who wrote this, is uncle to the guy who wrote this, who in turn is cousin to the writer of this and these.

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But if Kobe leaves, who will Jack talk to?



So, he gets his way, forces Shaq out. The team, his. And still, he’s feeling disrespected and wants out. Maybe Chicago or NY.

Ploy?


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Brands on the run.


An agency on tour visiting brands. When my 25 word limit’s up, I’ll explain my involvement more. (Yep, I’ll be in Dallas come early August.)

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I don’t know if it runs Photoshop,



and I hate PCs, but this Thinkpad looks tough as hell.

(via Aunt Esther.)


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A little music theory for Tuesday...




From Mat O, drummer, writer: An established band that fires its drummer is never as good. (Soul Asylum, Guns ’N Roses, Pearl Jam.) Discuss amongst

Monday, June 18, 2007

In praise of the L-shaped sheet.

And other classic movie cliches here, here and here.

Metallica rocks–even on paper.



Older spot but cool animation work.


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It’s 25 Words or Less Week.




Echoing Mr. Pithy there, this week any post or comment will be 25 words or less no matter where in a sentence I happen to


Frankly, I expected better behaviour from a captain. For God’s sake man, hold it together!

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Want clean elections? It’ll cost you.



Told you. No off-season for politics anymore. $10 a head. For clean elections. Only in NJ. (Well ok, Maine and Arizona too.)


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Saturday, June 16, 2007

Whatever ‘it’ is, win $5,000 for talking about it.

Just in time for the release of Transformers comes another promotional tie-in. (Audible gasp.) Never saw that coming. Tell eBay how it transformed your life and you could win some cash. Ok, well, every single time I go to sell something on eBay, I lose money because sellers are allowed to flood the market with 2,000 of the same item and nothing is done about the seller. I can say that my blood pressure has ‘transformed’ from a once healthy 110/70 to 130/90. Now, where’s my cash.

(Or, maybe that’s not quite what they had in mind?)

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Ok, while the family may need a smack for being smug, and New Yorkers will likely stone them for parking their car that way, (not to mention taking five years to finish the place), the fish in floor thing is cool. (Thanks to Ron for the link.)