Sorry, but there’s a typo in this sign. It should say Lose your identity. After reading a NY Times article about a company who’s developing a billboard camera to record the gender of whoever looks at it, I’m creeped out. The company in question Quividi can say they don’t store the images captured by the camera, but if this isn’t a slippery slope towards that inevitable scenario, I don’t know what is.
I can just see a brand person now, “Well, it’s great that we know gender, but wouldn’t it also be great to know more about them so we can, you know, target them with select offers from trusted third-party vendors! Like, the car they got into? Who they were walking with? The logo on their shopping bags? Forget what sites they visit after leaving our website, how cool would it be to see what place they went into after viewing the sign. This would be waaaaaaaay better than focus groups because it’s, you know, real-time.”
Yeah, that would totally be like, awesome brand dude, just awesome™. (And later, after you take pics of a guy with someone who’s not his wife, you can show the tape to trusted third-party divorce lawyers.)
This is invasion of privacy pure and simple. It’s one thing to count the number of hits a website gets, or how many people pass through a turnstile, but short of physical contact, taking someone’s picture without their consent is about as personal as it gets. If I can’t record someone and show their face without first getting permission for commercials and photo shoots, how is this even legal? Otherwise, I can just claim anything I shoot now is for ‘research.’ Until then, I’ll just have to start flipping the bird to every outdoor I see.
“Coming to you straight from Maine” in small print on a Poland Spring bottle has a certain charm—Tasmania? Eh, not so much. Read more about branded water goodness here.
Captain Richard is ready for lift-off. He’s picking one of you freaks to travel where Jetpacks can’t reach. Stop by the National Space Society for details. (I guess Nasa.com was already taken.)
Because I’m surrounded by people from the land down under at my current freelance gig, here’s some TV spots about beer they like. (They like beer you know.) Oh and bourbon. Cougar Bourbon.
“Sharon Stone belongs in the same league as Jerry Falwell who blamed 9/11 on “homosexuality and abortion’. Falwell was closer to the truth, however, considering the hell wrought by the Islamists was a manmade disaster and not a natural one.”– Daisy May ___________________
“Just goes to show...few people even know what it means to have class and integrity, and fewer still care that our society has lost both. When sleeping with strangers becomes the basis of a "quite funny" commercial, I think our moral compass is beyond repair. Of course, no one gets AIDS or any other STD in a commercial, right?” – Jane ___________________ “Jeremy G is so feisty. It would be kind of amazing to just walk up to someone and vomit on their food. Just cuz you could.” – Lucky Pierre ___________________
“Is this ad campaign lame. Yes. Will this come even close to litigation. No. Is Mr. Garfield "Irresponsible" concerns valid. Wronger than wrong. His concerns are grossly simplistic and irrelevant and his ethical arguments are lazy at best. What a terrible post.” – Malcolm ___________________
“Glad to see gun control is working so well in England. But I wonder who are they advertising too? The unarmed swordless brits already getting stabbed or the criminals stabbing them? Perhaps they should try knife control. Maybe they can go back to being cavemen and eat with their hands. Lovely country, britain, isn't it?” – Bobby ___________________
“I'm 41 and have been using a mac since I was a high school senior. I had DSL as soon as it was available and I've had my own website since 1999. Not that any of that is a big deal, but if I hear one more person claim "Millenials" are the only ones who understand all things digital I'm going to freakin' hurt somebody.” – ugh
Any PR is not always good PR. Sleepy’s has been running a transit campaign for some time now, and after last night’s fatal accident in Boston is now getting attention for the wrong reasons.
Misleading thinking yet again. The only gas getting cheaper these days is at Taco Bell. (Ouch.) Not even if we started drilling tomorrow folks. Wouldn’t. Make. A. Difference. Not in this instant gratification world of ours. No, the benefits—if there are any—would take some time to materialize. Funny how they leave that part out of it on Faux News. (I’m surprised they haven’t blamed Canada for not sharing more than the 40% we already get.) Ironic too: We should think long-term when it comes to finding new places to drill, but not when it comes to developing and switching over to alternative fuel sources.
Dead dinosaurs are here now people, we need to drill! Hurry before they vanish—again.
Much as I love conspiracies, I’m also not prepared to agree with the conductor on the way home last night who theorized that we’re in yet another deliberately created ‘shortage’ like the one in the seventies many of us experienced. However, I will ask the redundant question of how the fuck is it that we keep putting ourselves in this position? Let’s put an ad spin on it and just say the strategy from the brief is off: we don’t need to stop our dependence on foreign oil—we need to stop our dependence on oil itself. (Daryl Hannah, Willie Nelson and the Air Force’s coal-based fuel trials notwithstanding.)
Dig all you want domestically, but what’s to prevent another round of price hikes in 20 years when the oil companies feel like it. Hannity wouldn’t have anyone to blame then.
Trading Iverson and letting Garcia go in favor of McNabb? Rebels! Here’s another poster from my travels this week, Philly’s tourism campaign for 2008. Historical landmark as destination spot. Safe, but you can’t go wrong presenting historical significance to tourism boards. (Although “Philly–It’s Waaaaaaaaay Better Than Allentown” has a certain panache to it as well.) Nor am I against landmarks or touristy attractions in spots, just make it clever. (Check out Florida’s Space Coast work.) Most tourism stuff though consists of outdoor lifestyle shots of places you can never seem to find. Naturally of course—do you really want to see the part of the state that makes the evening news for the wrong reasons?
Still, the shiny happy people almost always take you either to websites as exciting as a DMV cubicle, or, ones that fail to highlight the campaign prominently, if at all, resulting in a disconnect, (like gophila.com). If I see that look, then I expect to see it on the site. Okay, maybe not the exact look, but something that ties it in, even if in the copy. And another thing about tourism work: When you’re spending a ton of money on tv spots, why would you not feature the spots on the home page? So yeah, go visit Philly if you like bells and stuff, maybe even drive around and see where they film this.
Aka, flyy the friendly Skyys? Look at Skyy getting all D&G! Saw this outdoor yesterday which is similar to an older cabana ad. Going after a new demo perhaps? Looks like someone will be shaken and stirred! OH MY™. Ironic too. No matter where I commute, people just can’t keep their feet off the seats. +
>• The Kingdom of Loathing. >• More animational fun. >• Jay Leno has the answer for Detroit. >• Before Punk’d, there was Jerky Boy. >• Franklin’s right. A local auto dealer spot that doesn’t suck. >• Michael Eisner is telling stories again. >• Doing more good with posters.
Scoping out a few major news sites this weekend like Yahoo!, MSNBC, and Excite, and I once again noticed a bunch of inaccuracies and typos among the articles. When I went to send a comment, I found it was next to impossible though. It reminded me of the complaints people have regarding the process of leaving comments and what they have to go through just to get their opinions heard.
There’s a few things going on though that make this less than a slam dunk when it comes to solving the problem. Issues of privacy, a person’s right to voice their opinion, censorship and even the actual process of signing up need to be factored in.
Take privacy issues. I noticed the girl RIOT went off last week on Ad Age and their registration process. George Parker has recently noted some of the issues too. All in all, if it's just a simple username and valid email address you want, I think that’s fair.
Some publications do not. They want blood in the form of 20 fields that you have to fill out. In that case, privacy concerns arise because I just want to leave a comment—not provide demo info for someone to use and sell to someone else. I have to deal with that crap enough as it is with snail mail and telemarketers. (Even then I’m thinking most people don’t put down their real info unless it’s LinkedIn, etc.) Still, if I have to fill out my life’s story on your blog, I’m gone.
Then there’s the issue of content in comments. Like Parker, anyone’s free to say what they want here. HighJive, copyranter, AdRants, etc. All us ad bloggers are good like that. Only once have I deleted a comment, (and only then because it was a pro-Al Qaida recruitment rant). In general, there’s still a wide spectrum of what’s tolerated online these days and what’s not. Civil comments at Breitbart, Huffington or YouTube? Good luck, it’s a free-for-all—the result of an open policy that ignores any TOS they may claim they enforce. Short of death threats, seems like almost anything goes.
One site’s community policing is another’s Wild West.
Then you have sites and blogs run by people who have a policy of deleting comments because they disagree with what the poster wrote, or who might view engaging them in heated discussion which the blog owner views as disruptive. At a minimum, the comments will just be ignored. However, when someone becomes abusive or threatens physical harm, then something has to be done. Otherwise? your policy should just be to chill. Really, if you take the time to blog your opinions, then be prepared to discuss them or at the very least put up with dissenting opinions.
Which leads me to the last problem I have with those aforementioned news sites in the first place: There are still too many different commenting platforms running with no agreed upon standard. Most bloggers choose the platform they like and that which allows easy access for visitors. (Blogger, WordPress or TypePad.) But the major news sites don’t, and the features they do offer are as advanced as the office equipment featured in Mad Men.
I should have the option to delete, edit or stylize a comment. Period. You can do that here on Blogger, but not everywhere. It’s funny how blogs take the heat for many things, but on the whole, they’re far better at letting people voice their opinion than major media sites.
The three sites I came across at the beginning of this rant, who make it all but impossible to leave a comment on a story there are also a few of the culprits who instead are now focusing more and more on building Digg-like community-based ratings features into their sites so people will drive traffic back by linking to a given story...
Apparently not much. Because you need reasons to ramp back up for the week ahead, here’s a collection of past ad greatness from the eighties. Okay, so after watching these, maybe there was a lot less BK freak, snark and near naked nudeness then, but whether it was a PSA, movie/TV series promo or product spot, there’s enough tender moments, food porn shots and celebrities for everyone! (Of note: Circuit City is still in business. Of less note: Doritos spots still suck. Oh, and check out the stalker-like VO delivery in the Sizzler spot at the end.)
Why does this stuff always fall in my lap (OH™). After checking out a comment to a totally unrelated YouTube video, a spot for Cougar Do’s and Dont’s showed up in the related section. Had to be a joke, right? Nope. There’s even a YouTube channel. (Who says only the kids understand that new media shit.) But wait, put down that credit card, there’s more. Check out the website. Gotta give them credit though, why not take the hunt to YouTube and advertise. And whatever you do this weekend ladies, remember, don’t make that 22-year old BC grad, (the one doing shots off your body at the moment), a slave boy. Unless of course, that’s what he’s into.
Lard council? Mmmm. It does a body good! And what will be the ‘lard’ products of tomorrow? (Diet soda drinkers, watch out, I’m tellin ya. That artificial sweetner will grow another arm.)
Not much except maybe a Tom Waits tour press conference. As announcements go, this is pretty original shit for his upcoming Glitter and Doom tour via Ectoplasmosis! Picking tour stops based on constellations? I wanna party with you cowboy.
The verbalization of ad words continues. (In this case, it’s more like personaverbalization because Jetting knows you. It is your friend.) Regardless, will it be enough to help the airline who’s in search of damage control over recent problems with service? Dunno. For any brand, is it ever? Especially when people are pissed at your service. The campaign all over the subway though sure is peppy and they have a spiffy site called happyjetting.com. While the graphics are consistent in terms of style, it does two things differently : 1) Runs a bunch of different lines at once rather than releasing new ones over time and 2) Mixes eras in terms of imagery from one piece to the next. Happy Jetting, ad bitches.
No sexy title, just a rant. Okay, I’ve seen a lot of ploys, because well, that’s the business we’re in. But this new trend of FREE!* gas or prices locked-in with a $2.99 gas guarantee! and so on from the major automotive brands is one of the worst I’ve seen. (The ad above is typical of what you’ve likely seen by now.) Refuel America? How? They haven’t improved mileage on the cars or magically found a new supply of oil somewhere. Instead, they’ve only attempted to save how much you might spend on gas—for a limited time too. “Eh, forget giving you a car that uses less gas, we‘ll just give you more money to spend on the gas.”
Idea: maybe Detroit should go back to innovating when it comes to the product instead of the offer. Maybe they should focus on making a car that gets 10-15 miles more per gallon. Maybe they should’ve learned from the gas shortages in the seventies. That would probably be more effective. Ya think?
*Don’t forget to read that small print either when considering these offers. For example, Jeep’s offer is only for three years and up to 12,000 miles per year.
Not sure who put them up to it, but, it might beat that Ray-Ban clip.
(UPDATE: Halo Group says Cutwater did the spot. They also break down nicely what it is I always felt makes viral work for brands: do something very cool with the product and leave the sell out of it.)
>• Dangerous sugar. (Originally found via.) >• Hadji’s vote is was for sale on eBay. (Don’t tell Hillary—she’ll try and buy five.) • The NSA is not SEO-friendly? >• Too much tooty. >• Kame ... Kame ... Kamehame-Blah. >• Tangerine Toad has a real name. What, you thought he wasn’t human? >• “But it’s not on YouTube anymore.” Try this next time. >•Better plastics are just better. >• Teledildonics is the word. >• Kept From The City. >• Nah, I’ll just stick with Tempest. >• Victimizing the victims. >• I knew ACME was a real place.
At first I was like, okay, maybe Hartz was going for the ‘cat person’ or ‘dog person’ thing. But when you go to the website, it switches from talking to pets to talking to people. So I guess I’m clueless here as to the audience. Anyway, take the quiz and find out: 1. Do you run around in circles outside while your human tapes it for YouTube? 2. Do you trash the furniture when they leave you home alone for more than an hour? 3. Is that food on the plate your owner left while she answers the phone so gone? 4. Which of the following is the best time to get your human to take you out: ...A) 72 and sunny with a plasma TV and barbecue going on the front lawn. ...or ...B) 11:00 pm and raining. 5. Do you destroy slippers with extreme prejudice? How’d ya do? Congrats! if you answered yes or ‘B’ to any of these, YOU’RE A FUCKING DOG! (Cats, just, like, swap out cat questions or something. I dunno. I’m not a ‘cat person.’)
“But if you hate the movies so much, why do you go?” Good question. With teens still in the house, they just don’t understand how ‘The Man’ is lining his pockets with warmed-over material ripped from today’s headlines and yesterday’s comic books. Lined even more when it hits the Netflix cue next month.
Nor do they want to hear about how we shouldn’t buy anything to eat or drink when it costs more per gallon than gas does, and who really needs a drink large enough for a handtruck, and why are the floors sticky, and...
Nope. They just wanna go see shit blow up.
Which is what you see in Iron Man. (Not bad with Jeff Bridges as a villain—finally—and a post-rehab Robert Downey Jr. as action hero.) That brief review aside, I’ll just ruminate instead on some of the marketing brilliance on display for this and upcoming films in general that I encountered.
You mean like trailers?
Why yes, yes I do. If you don’t know by now, strategic marketing partner relationships that benefit both franchise brands synergistically product placement is insane. Close-ups of logos on t-shirts, happy meals with scratch and win stickers along with cars by GM and Ford everywhere you look, all headed your way.
And the pre-preview is now basically Access Hollywood promos for new films and shows on cable. Good to also see that repurposing your TV spots as trailers is alive and well. (I also miss the movie trivia they used to run: who knew the shark in Jaws was fake!)
Then there’s a brief lesson on civil obedience: Martin Scorsese’s PSA above is the latest attempt to get people to act polite in the theatre. Nice try Marty. (Hey, look! Same lady from the “I do not recall that” parental control spot.) . Okay, digression over. I mean, the spots are funny and all, but really, they won’t work because people do whatever they want—rules being for others and all. Besides, isn’t the guy next to you checking HIS TEXT MESSAGES IN THE DARK MORE ANNOYING?? Why yes, yes it is.
Oh yeah, btw, on TV!)nobody is renting the theatre for their next corporate meeting, so just 86 that slide right now from the deck.
Best cool/sad moment:
Sad: They ran a still of the new Will Ferrell/John Reilly trainwreck Step Brothers. (Someone email Will and tell him he doesn’t need to do a new buddy movie for each kid Madonna adopts.)
Cool: It wasn’t a still though as they started moving around in the space surrounding the type. See, trailer technology is evolving. (*A little snark if ya couldn’t tell, but, I actually liked the effect*)
Comic books are the new...
The other thing that seems to be getting huge is the dominance of comic book franchises as movie properties. Iron Man director Jon Favreau was right about these stories—doesn’t matter what actor you plug in, the suit is the hero.
Trailers for more of the same in sequel land: The Hulk with Ed Norton and Tim Roth. While these are two great actors who make anything watchable, where there that many burning questions left unanswered that we need a sequel so soon? Oh, I forgot, that blowing shit up thing again, sorry, what was I thinking.
Will Smith is the reluctant hero Hancock. Then there’s Dark Knight, which does look very cool. (Heath may just make you forget Jack? Could happen.)
Indy, look out!
Speaking of cups and logos, grabbed this cup from BK with the new Indiana Jones movie promo and thought, damn, I know color can be tricky when printing this stuff, but Indy may have problems lifting that whip if that’s how old he looks. (Click image to enlarge.)
Then I saw this pic and went damn, maybe not—someone’s been hitting the weights. And then as if to say I’m more man than anyone in the audience, he waxes his chest in yet another PSA, this time for conservation.org. (It was then I suddenly felt like Richard Dreyfuss crushing a styrofoam cup to Robert Shaw’s hands of iron death.)
Vowing not to be humiliated like this ever again, I returned home, eager to show that bitch who he’s dealing with. Tomorrow, I plan on doing five blog posts, not four—in one day.
“We should have the option to hunt down all Republicans who vote for McCain. I am myself a Republican but god damn I'm voting for Obama.” – McCully ___________________
“I started Playing soccer when I was 5, but we called it kickball in elementry school. I grew up and realized that it was for sissys and started to play baseball instead. I'M SOOOO HAPPY I DID cause soccer is boring, it sucks and the sissys who fall down and need stretchers hah!. Thats classic. SOCCER SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Pussy sport” – woodydoorman ___________________ “These ads blow. Clunky copy. A mish-mash of messaging. So-so illustrations. Zero naked chicks. C-” – Lee Clow ___________________
“Find out that a nazi sympathizer claims he is working for EXPEDIA and make fun of a customer that apparently was cheated by EXPEDIA (Don’t miss this episode of the adventure, watch the picture of a guy who digitally put a picture of his head on the body of a Nazi officer who’s with Adolph Hitler:” – John ___________________
“Yesterday I met someone who’s been taking uppers for three days. Not healthy.” – FuiSoyYsereUnGil
Yeah, agree with copyranter, preeeety much the oddest lightbulb commericial you will ever see, for Sylvania or any brand. But oddly, I’m drawn to it like a moth ... ZING!
In an attempt to try new things in sports, rarely does anyone do anything with the format the announcers use. (Going from two to three people in the booth or changing the cast every year with so-called regular Joes like Tony Kornheiser or Dennis Miller? Yawn. I mean more like what the Jets tried waaay back and the NFL more recently with no announcers for games.) The guy here in this case who knows nothing is John Mayer calling a Red Sox-A’s game from the Tokyo Dome. Instead of trying to fit in with the real jocks in the booth, his ‘unknowingness’ of the sport is refreshing. Now, maybe if they did golf this way, I’d watch more. Nah.
...The One Show. Don’t have too because nobody covered it like Angela did anyway. Discover all over again for the first time the joy, the heartbreak, the drunk students! (Besides, I don’t cover award stuff or give a shit about who moved from agency to agency. If you ever see that here, I’ve given in to ‘The Man.’)
...The Yellow pages redoing their look. Okay, because others did. Similar to what the UK equivalent did a few years ago and nice to see they kinda emulated what I thought they should. TV here.
...How mobile marketing is gonna be HUGE next year! Ha, okay, whatever.
...The PR release I sent you about our cutting-edge ad server technology and how our recent hire Joe Blow lets us compete at the next level in the ever-changing marketing landscape. Thanks to one too many of those kind of releases that have nothing to do with this blog, or are addressed FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE. That will no longer be a problem. If agencies think all blogs are there just to run their PR releases, then they can start their own and release them there. I spend time finding stuff I think is interesting and worth passing on, not filling up the blog with print campaigns from Dubai that never ran.
Because I couldn’t bring you video of the guy on pan flute in Penn Station doing Yani-like karaoke, you’ll just have to take my word for it. As a consolation prize, I bring you just a few special pics from recent NJ/NY transit stops. Let’s start with two in Dover, NJ, one that combines a few of my favorite things: apostrophes, major word spacing and killer tag at the bottom. Although I think Murphy didn’t get Dubya’s email about how it’s not really a recession. Also worth noting is off to the right the two ‘locals’ on a bench waiting for Murphy’s to open at 8:00 am. This I spared you though.
Who wants more! I do, I DO! Hokay then. How about gum lady. Rather harmless banking poster—until you get up close and notice the thing in her lip is about two feet across. Nice!
Hitting NYC, take the 1 downtown to 28th and it’s new TV show promo time! First day, it was just missing a face, and I thought, not a bad idea actually for a relocation themed show. But looking closer, it’s just someone who felt like hitting Mary McCormack in a different way. So much so that the next day they gave her a new head too. (UPDATE: as of today, Wednesday, Mary has her faceless face back—Hulk has left the building.)
It’s rare to find quality illustration and wry political commentary on Drudge, so when you do, screen grab! Good to see too that the attack dogs aren’t waiting for the convention.
So here’s where I balance the Gary Busey material with marketing speak type stuff. (Legal called and told me I had to in order to qualify for ad blog status.) Enjoy!
I see lot of talk about how to show ROI for online stuff, whether it’s a full integrated campaign or simple banner ad. The SOP appears to be you produce some stats in a nice little Excel doc explaining how many people visit Yahoo! each hour and you can sell brands anything these days. (Really, does it take an expert to figure out that if you run a banner ad on EPSN, Drudge or Yahoo! that a boatload of people will see it?)
And so it seems to be with views.
Lot of agency PR people proud of how many ‘views’ they got on a particular video because well, they tell me in the countless PR releases I get. That’s cool. I go by views as well in determining a vid’s popularity. And more views are more good for the agency who obviously needs to show they know what the hell they’re doing in the space, but are more views really more betterer for brands? (Legal also said it was okay for me to mangle some grammar today.)
Cool to watch. Harder to attempt.( Well, if I had no job and two years house arrest, maybe.) It was an entry in yet another one of those brand contests I love, this time from “150 BLADES IS BETTER THAN THREE” Gillette and their Next Phenom contest. It also got the most views by far on their page.
But then, so did the video above for Earl Grey tea—in about half the time. Not only that, it got more views than all the videos for Gillette’s contest—combined. (You can also factor in number of subscribers to a particular YouTube channel. Fine. The Phenom page definitely has more, but like apps on Facebook, that doesn’t really tell me everything. People sign up for a lot of stuff they don’t watch, let alone use. They’re just too busy or lazy to unsubscribe.)
Getting back to views, what you notice here though is a few things:
First, all the vids in the Phenom thing are about activities other people do that are unrelated to the brand. Not the contest, the brand. Yes, Tiger also does that cool as hell trick with the club—but it’s golf. You expect that. Plus, I’ve seen him execute that trick better for Nike. Same too the other athletes in the promo.
But Beer Pong?
I have nothing against either of those two things per se, but I’m pretty sure the last thing the brand was thinking was beer + pong as the best a man can get. However, their hands are tied because now with the hoopla surrounding transparency and brands not censoring their message or customer feedback, they have to let this stuff in. (Unless of course, it shows anything inappropriate or illegal.)
Secondly, notice how the clips take you away to a user’s specific page—out of sight and out of mind of the contest. Because as I’m watching this kid do shit with a ping pong ball I could never do, the last thing I was thinking of was the brand.
Third, some of these vids got views outside of the contest page, so how can they be sure that all the traffic came from the contest. And, some of the vids were also edited and used in other contests.
Yet, the tea freak obviously loves his drink of choice and went to great lengths to demonstrate this fact. And that stupid piano riff is in my head now as I all I can think of is tea. That’s the difference between true original content versus consumer generated responses to a brand call for entries.
The problem I’ve always had with loser generated anything is that when you set up too many conditions for how people will react/engage/respond with your brand, you aren’t getting something that’s a genuine experience from them, especially as it relates to how they normally experience that brand.
Now, does it help that your brand is an established part of your culture like Earl Grey? Likely. Does the brand need to do viral? Probably not. But the extra attention can’t hurt though because it’s not really harming the brand in any way I can tell. Rather, it’s just a nice invigoration for them from an unexpected source.
So both brands got a lot of views, but one video did more for a brand than 30 did for the other.
I was searching for a What The...? eBay item when I found this gem right at the top of their page, an item good enough for its own post. It’s an auction for a chance to have a speaking role in the upcoming celebrity-laden Taming of the Shrew in LA on May 19th to benefit the Shakespeare Festival. (He was a writer or something.) Forget Rita Wilson and even the Shat—a chance to appear with Newman? Gold baby. Unfortunately, any up and coming young actor who could use this as their big break probably doesn’t have that much in their PayPal.
•• Getting censorious about our media saturation. •• J.C Watts entering the 24-hour news channel game. •• Desktop as music video. •• Burrito vendetta. •• Making that commute at least look cooler. •• Dick. •• There’s nothing like failed black-hat PR. •• Tom’s love Cruise. •• And these didn’t win anything at last week’s One Show interactive?