While Say it ain’t Joe scares New Yorkers with his spin on how to handle mass transit and Swine Flu, BART riders at Glen Park in San Fran recently had a different idea. How cool is this: A group of people installed five swings for anyone to use, then took pics. Okay, having ridden that BART route, happy and joyful were not my first impressions. (While far more open than a NYC subway, picture a tin can with indoor-outdoor carpeting and Brady Bunch-inspired ergonomics/color scheme, all the fun riding at midnite brings, and a jet turbine level nail-scratching sound outside as cars pass through certain enclosed areas further south.) Still, with everything going on, why not throw up a swing and do something this cool. When’s the last time adults had fun in a non-ad effort like this?*
*Let’s be real though: That shit ain’t flying in NYC—someone’s leaving shot.
That’s a big fucking pen. No, it is. This isn’t one of the things we got while touring schools lately, but a sample from someone else when I’d mentioned the stuff we’ve been seeing. Not sure what message you want to send by having a pen you need two hands to use, but maybe Rasmussen College knows something I don’t.
If there were ever a phrase that drove protesters with eco-friendly kicks to hit the streets, that may be it. $25,000 for a doghouse? Dee-AMN. The revolution WILL be televised from Skippy’s little palatial spread, complete with 18” plasma, thanks to Tails & Company. (Tip to Peter.)
Where I finally get around to venting on Green stuff.
- Most eco-related material has the typical field of wind turbines shot against dramatic sky. Came across the shot above though and for a second I was thinking damn, not another one, but looked closer and found one finally that didn’t hit you over the head. Nice execution. (More here, via.)
- Okay, they’re being phased out and all, but really, epic fail on promoting your Green initiative this way.
- Hey, Green movement. Long before... long before.
Whoops! Now she can with new laser fish lure bingo hearing amp earbud! (Pretty sure the Billy Mays edition also has a built-in vibrator.) Now you can hear all the conversations around you, filtering none of it out while you slowly go insane. (I swear, listen around :48 in and tell me they didn’t fake the kid’s voice with an adult’s.) Perfect for studs too! Loud 'n Clear means you can now find out what she REALLY thinks about you at parties. Remember, other sound amplifiers can cost up to $100, but get the one that doesn’t! (Tip.)
Haven’t visited a local gun shop recently, thought I’d check in. Discerning lady hunters know. But, if fully-automatic babes aren’t your thing, no problem—perhaps you want a concealed handgun license instead.
Saw it again last night and remembered I never posted it. It’s not a Just Do It, or Where’s The Beef?, but T-Mobile’s old couple spot and closing line is good enough. And this time, I mean it.
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FOR ALL YOUR INTERNET NEEDS, PICK US! By now, most people in advertising have heard The Current Network’s rfp/twitter/pitch concept. (CurrentTV.) There’s already a bunch of posts about why this is a good idea and why it isn’t, or why brands need to rethink things, or other comments. Different POV:
When’s the last time a small agency had a shot to go up against the best in the industry for a pitch?
A small agency almost never gets a shot at large brands because pitch consultants already have their shortlist in mind. They get mad money to go after traditional shops with millions in billings each year. This basically said fuck that.
Now, whether Current chooses a large shop or not we won’t know for a few weeks until after the next round. (A shortlist gets announced Wednesday and it could be anywhere from 5-10 shops.) But I like the approach. Open to anyone and says: Wow us. Show us why you stand out.
So a Plaid has as much of a shot as anyone. Including the larger shops who entered: Modernista!, BBH, TBWA\Chiat\Day and Crispin, plus a range of medium and small agencies. This is the way it should be. If ideas matter, then let everyone have a chance to submit something.
Whether this was Twitter, Facebook or Flickr isn’t the point either. It’s that a brand like them opened things up to anyone as long as you could just stand out. Our approach? Knowing many shops were going to talk about why they should be hired or show their past work, we wanted to focus more on Current first and share some of our thinking.
Figured why not share where and how we saw the brand, rather than make it all about the agency. Much. We submitted our entry on the last day and threw it out there without some of the “Pick me!” tweets you saw. I’m not going to comment on approaches because to each their own, but there’s certain things you feel right about doing, and it became clear what shops had dusted off unused Twitter accounts for this one.
(Pause, rewind, play; that's the point so you can spend time with it.) It’s thoughts about where it could go and other vibes we feel about CurrentTV. Have at it if you want because why not, I tear stuff apart here all the time.
Another thing about pitches... you could say Current got a bunch of agencies to jump over each other on Twitter. Okay. But so what. Newsflash: Don’t blame Twitter, because agencies were doing this long before the internet—that’s what they do. Think they don’t fight for any piece of new business? We all do. (Look at the stream the day after if you doubt it. New media channel like Twitter—same old “Pick me! Pick me!” behaviour. )
Otherwise why were big shops interested? Sure you notice when a Modernista! shows up, but at least you felt like you had a shot this time whereas you would never feel that way before.
I’ve been watching more and more Hulu lately and came across a doc called Kicking It, which covers the World Cup of soccer for homeless people. There’s a scene in it that sums up what the heart of the problem is for the slow adoption of soccer here. (Forget my previous rant, theories on soccer moms being more of a hindrance to the sport, or the cartwheels done by MLS’ marketing director over recent initiatives.) The reason is cultural. Yeah, obvious—maybe. Maybe not. It’s never mentioned in any of the messaging though. If it is, it’s to appeal to multicultural audiences who may have either emmigrated to the U.S. or are maybe 2nd and 3rd generation citizens born here. I don’t mean cultural with regards to race, but cultural in terms of societal.
When you see kids lift heavy wheelbarrows of soil to help build a pitch, or other kids and amputees play barefoot on glass-filled streets, that’s the level of devotion I mean. You never see that here though. You see it with little league. Soccer is just another activity in an otherwise busy kid’s schedule. Baseball is a way of life. Dads and moms need to go out and kick a ball around with their kids like we used to play catch after dinner. Maybe then it won’t be so marginalized.
This time, it’s all about her, not them. (Called Socks, an alternative version called Silence is here.) No prude disclaimer in effect again: While I don’t agree with one comment that said the commercial wasn’t discrete—hard to with a product like this—I did see it run early in the evening when kids could also see it.
Rather than the usual cgi-laden bullshit or “We’ll bend over backwards to give you great service” platitudes, here’s a spot from Argentina that would never run here. No, the best we can do in American advertising is a cursory mention of alternative lifestyles in Progressive insurance ads. (This is no knock against Progressive; props to them for hitting everyone and not just one audience segment, but the ongoing sitcom acting of the Progressive woman means no deeper discussions will be had.) Still, I always tend to hate international advertising, not because it’s clever, epic or sometimes stunning—it usually is—but it’s generally able to do things subject-wise that we don’t here, either due to our overly-sensitive audiences or restrictions by the FCC. Last time I looked however, we have no regulations against being too open-minded. (Via one of the best design and ad-focused blogs around, ALR.)
Now it’s early development classes and soccer practice. Yep, that’s us, we’re just out here, clinging to our God and our right to arm bears. Someone forgot to tell little Jimmy though that NJ’s not a right to carry state. Not that’s stopped my neighbors. I live where there’s a good chance I’ll be able to survive the next whatever it is we have coming our way, just by scurrying into the nearby mountain area alongside a well-stocked militia neighborhood watch.
But admit it, there’s a little glee in them eyes though—you can see it. Kids are our future.
Mr. Walken? Sorry, we need you over here one more time, thanks: “Come again?” Has craigslist CEO Jim Buckmaster even seen the misc romance section on craigs? With that much awareness of his domain, maybe he should’ve been picked to run MySpace. Because, you know, there’s no pervs on that either. Jim, try anything out of the Boston one if you like. Start off easy, maybe a m4w, work your way down from there.
Yes, I know there’s still hyper-sensitivity to this stuff, and the idea of sending up RC planes to go after commercial airliners is really scary, but when you watch, the addition of Top Gun into the mix? Genius I say because it calms you the hell down... a little?
Who says local has to suck. If you can find better low-budget goodness, I’ll refund your money!!!!!! If you remember Rhett & Link, they’re back with a commercial for Bobby Denning in North Carolina. They produced a down and dirty spot on purpose to mimic... down and dirty spots. As good an act as they pull off though, the addition of the real non-actor staff into the mix kinda gives it away a little. It’s as funny a riff on local ad badness as I’ve seen though, because it’s tricky to pull off right. (Check out the deleted scenes and outakes version too.)
That’s their whole thing: “Custom-built, Micro-Budget Commercials for MicroBilt Customers.” Here’s another spot that you swear is as badly real as the worst shit you’d find, but it’s another one of theirs. (Watch for the band in the van.) Check out the behind the scenes vid for it as they explain how they approach making these things. They pretty much work with whatever they find at the locations in terms of “characters” or props. They probably make next to nothing to shoot and edit these as most local dealers have almost no budget. I’m guessing Rhett & Link are having fun and benefiting from all the views they get to use for something larger down the road.
A few months ago I posted about Josh Freese and the unique way he was promoting his new release. Since I rarely get results of contests I cover, why not share when I do. Consider yourself shared. It’s pretty long but worth checking out for anyone doing their own promo on a small scale without a major budget.
“So, I wanted to check in and give you an update on what’s been going on just after the first week or so of my records release. My label, “Outerscope Records” (that’s me, my girlfriend and our nanny when the kids are asleep) is proud to report that I’ve sold about 150 of the $50 of the packages and all 25 of the $250 packages (those went in the first 24 hours.) In less than a week I have sold 4 of the $500, 2 of the $2,500, 2 of the $5,000, and the big old $20,000 package! No one has bought the $75,000 package yet but I’ve had someone fairly serious inquiries about it (still only “talk” at this point though.)
Any-hoo, I just started my “lunches” with people and I’ve been on the phone nonstop for the past few weeks with people who have bought the record (and a phone call option). It’s actually been completely hectic and I’ve just finally got my head above water for a minute. My friends were joking the other day that I may be the only person in the music business that considers himself to be selling TOO MANY RECORDS right now! These phone calls and lunches are a lot to keep up with and I’ve hardly just begun. I still stay "BRING IT!" though. I made my bed and now I gotta’ sleep in it.
I’m still waiting for some numbers regarding how many downloads or just regular CD’s I’ve sold but my expectations aren’t very high. But if it all stopped right now I can walk away feeling successful about the whole thing and I am pleasantly surprised at how many of the "packages" have sold. I truly did not expect them to sell so well. And sure it’s been great to make some money doing it, but the most rewarding part has been getting feedback from people about how much they liked what I’d come up with.
Or how much they laughed while reading the stuff at their desk or in the studio with their friends huddled around the computer. Getting the nod from smart, creative people always feels good. I’ve received emails and phone calls ranging from guys in Pearl Jam, to Tony Hawk to Trent Reznor to Billy Gibbons to Devo to top producers and label people all loving it and giving me big props on the whole thing.
I had the head of marketing at a very prestigious and famous company (who shall remain nameless) tell me that she “hung her head in shame for a week after seeing my marketing plan.” It was like, here she was doing this for a living and some dumb-ass rock drummer came along and smoked her at her own game... or something along those lines (sorry, I think I just pulled a muscle from patting myself on the back.)
We had a laugh about it and I thanked her for the compliment. Point being, it’s been nice receiving so many accolades from people I admire and from professionals who deal in this world every day. I also love the fact that this has nothing to do with drumming and writing music but EVERYTHING to do with being creative and unique.
I’ve got 6 of my 25 lunches under my belt now and it feels pretty good (and weird.) I’ve got one tomorrow and I’m doing 2 back to back on Saturday. I schedule all lunches from 11 AM to Noon so I can continue on with my "normal life" of showing up and doing sessions. So far people seem surprised and appreciative when I call them at home in Texas or Iowa or Greece or Australia (called all those places and another 100 cities so far.) The guy from Florida that bought the $20,000 package and I have been joined at the hip since Sunday and I won’t even go into all the stuff that we’ve done in the past 4 days but I’ve already gone above and beyond for him and we’re continuing to have a blast.
I’ll start posting stuff soon on my website and on YouTube but just to give you a quick idea...mini-golf with Maynard James Keenan, pizza at Mark Mothersbaugh’s house, sensory deprivation tank sessions, a signed snare drum I used on a Nine Inch Nails tour, slumber party at the Queen Mary, going to gigs of mine with me, pulling items out of my closet, etc, etc......He’s a great kid and a friend for life. We’re having him check out of his hotel and stay at our house tomorrow night. It’s a LONG, LONG story that I’ll write about later.”
She must be part of the infomercial relocation program. Although they should’ve done a better job darkening her face. I think I saw her in a Boniva ad. Thank you JK Harris. Thank you.
Aka, As Screamed On TV. Wasn’t sure what to expect with Pitchmen starring Billy Mays and Anthony Sullivan. After seeing two episodes, it’s safe to say it won’t threaten for best ad show ever, but there’s enough to maintain interest for anyone in or out of the business. It’s typical reality show fare except for surprisingly, half the forced drama. Probably because it’s part doc too.
The premise is that they screen several ideas from inventors and pick two to promote from there, create infomercials, and then wait for the results. You know it’s a hit when they have people come back to the office to hear the results versus them calling someone to say it tanked. If you’re a junkie for this stuff, you get to see a lot of what goes into infomercials and realize, that like QVC, Mays knows his shit with regards to what works and doesn’t on TV. They monitor everything.
In addition, you get a look at him and Sullivan in quieter moments. (If, Mays has any—DAMN that guy’s loud.) Oh, and cue jet black hair. Wonder how many PAs are off-camera waiting with Sharpies to touch that stuff up. Most interesting stuff happens though when the chosen few start making changes to the way Mays and Sullivan should pitch their stuff. It becomes a role-reversal as inventor becomes client and the pitchmen become the agency having to follow orders.
See, I get it’s your baby and all, and maybe you’ve sunk your life savings into the project, but when two guys who sell 250 million products to your none say changing one word equals an additional half-million in sales, you STFU. (Supposedly, one of the inventors had already made money prior to being selected, so part about his dreams coming true rings false, but I’m watching more for the behind the scenes crap that goes on.)
Will it last beyond its scheduled run of 13 episodes? Don’t know. If I knew the answer to that, I’d be able to tell if my sideways pizza carrier will be a hit or not. No, wait, watch. Here’s what it does. First, you take hot pizza...
Well, he looks like the Orkin dude. The quality of the vid is lousy, but the savory goodness manages to break through. Actors continue to be a thing of the past as animated avatars attack your body cavities. Nice! It’s also cool when pharma reps throw down.
Can a president get a break? What do you do when the he threatens to show up and speak at commencement? MICROSITE! “In defense of the unborn, we wish to express our deepest opposition to Reverend John I. Jenkins, C.S.C.’s invitation of President Barack Obama to be the University of Notre Dame’s principal commencement speaker and the recipient of an honorary degree.”
Another form of American art that gets overlooked is the rock poster. Like vinyl record covers, it’s an art form that has faded into the background when compared with how bands are promoted now. You either have YouTube vids or MySpace photos or 50 pixel x 50 pixel art for an iTunes single. BACK IN MY DAY, WE DIDN’T HAVE PIXELS. The contribution of the designers behind the movement are the focus of a new doc called American Artifact: The Rise of American Rock Poster Art. *holds up lighter and sways slowly while watching*
Because The One Show winners have been already been selected in rooms you don’t know about in places you never heard of. So yeah, pretty much, it’s a conspiracy to keep you stuck in that little shop of horrors you call an agency, never to see the light of day. Least that’s what they tell me according to BooneOakley. (Check out Adrants for more versions.)
SEO groupies will be falling at your feet. As the copy at Full Sail says, “There's one at every company: the marketing guru whose ideas rock the boardroom.” True. But words from an adjunct professor such as myself: “There’s also 20 at every company: The filler whose ideas don’t.” Now that courses are being offered in social media and is becoming a growing career choice for more and more stay at home soccer Mommy Bloggers people, we’re gonna need a Twitter MBA program. Oh, wait, that would be redundant. Most everyone on Twitter already has one, no?
The latest Beancast runs long as Alan Wolk joins myself and Duane Forrester from Microsoft and “The Online Marketing Guy.” YOU DO BE LIKING! We talked about how Domino’s did what it had to, how Amazon’s snafu last week was probably not as evil as people claimed and how SEO will take over the world and there’s nothing we can do to stop it. Download the show directly here. Topics here. (Subscribe through iTunes here.) You can also follow us on Twitter: TheBeanCast, mtlb, Duane and Alan.
Hey, watch me wreck the family car over at Adrants this week while Steve & Co. work... the ad:tech party circuit in SF. (I’ll be here too. You know I will.)
As we get closer to D-Day, I need to start thinking about colors. One of the things I liked about car shopping used to be picking colors. Not no more though. Now, it’s simply a case of anything but white, black or a 5-year regret color. What’s that?
Easy: Any color you’ll regret in five years. (Its cousin in this case might be the salmon or teal-coloredwedding party dresses women have been forced to wear—or worse.) But what colors make up a Fiver™. Hmmm....
Bright obnoxious colors only look good in a few places: Disney World, 60’s muscle cars or NASCAR team uniforms. This year’s soon-to-be classic regret? Well, take another look at the image. In the past, lime green may have gotten the most votes, but Tonka yellow is now making a move at hautness.
Today alone, I counted eight different cars with it. Worse, nothing like seeing a Ford Mansize Truckster in that shade. (Seriously, dude, convince yourself all you want that it looks awesome in the showroom or the catalog—just don’t try and convince me it looks awesome in your driveway.) Metallic copper may also look nice on dad’s midlife crisis roadster, but a minivan done up that way? 5 YEAR COLOR.
Hey, don’t take my word for it, try it next time you’re out. Rainy day works best as those colors cut through the noise. Spot the car that stands out. It’ll self-identify, trust me. You may even spot a 3-year.
In addition to some amazing local spots I saw this weekend in Ct-ville came this older one from El Paso tacos. Hmmm. “What divides Mexicans?” Eating food out of a mariachi hat? Should NAFTA be repealed? What to wear for an illegal border crossing? Is it okay to use a Muzak version of La Bamba but instead we call it La Taco? Should we fake perfect English with a gruff Mexican-sounding voiceover? Should we use subtitles while actors speak Spanish, just so the audience knows we used real Hispanic Mexican Mexicans for real fake Mexican food?
Other than that, well, I just don’t know what divides them.
Don’t local spots generally suck? Most anyway. This local CT Ford dealer :30 however either redlines the wtf? or the maybe it really is that cute meter, starting out with a Liberty Mutual vibe and ending up in “awwww” territory. Check out the stall action. Somehow I’m imagining the hand passing the pink ice cream instead of the TP. C’mon, you know did too.
Welcome to now. If you have an issue, there’s a lawsuit and a url for it. Take the Yamaha Rhino ATV. It spins! It dives! It... UH-OH! It flips too! Listen, news flash: Any ATV can flip. Kid near my house today was riding one and had a close call. Can he sue for near-stupidity? Maybe he can... hmmm. ialmostflippedoverinanatvnowiwantmoneytoo.com is available!
– Never open umbrellas inside, unless they're this funky. – It is if you don’t pin all your hopes on it. (Via The King.) – Your Freudian slip is showing on Twitter. – Don’t let the little head overrule the... thyroid. – Keep on bloggin’ in the free world. – Best parents ever? Sure. – By all means though, give GM more. – The mirror test. – Welcome to the inhuman network. – Oregon needs more elevators. – Respecting the van. – The world according to Google. – Domino’s social media problem? Nah. It’s an HR deal. – Tweet freaks rejoice. You’ve got a home. – Let’s temporarily avoid each other’s blogs. – Culture shocking. – Lost in over America. – Someone’s gotta do it.
Irony so thick you can cut it with a fork, but please, use a spoon so as not to miss every savory drop. Who said open, honest discourse was dead. TeaBaggers Unite!
1) Stand Idle while some Kenyan tries to destroy America. Pretty sure he’s getting help, but wouldn’t that be Kenyan-American?
2) Wap — The extermination of ordinary citizens by The Man™ or really big fucking leaves.
3) Homey Don’t play dat!!! Well, of course not. Who does anymore. I think it went the way of laser discs, no? OH. THAT dat. *slaps head* Yeah, well, always good to appropriate the urbanics of the nearest Kenyan-American you hate.
It’s not the shape of the thing, I just like the perfect blend of tech-speak and contraception:
“Advocates of the female condom are promoting a less costly, more user-friendly version that they hope will vastly expand its role in the global fight against AIDS and other sexually transmitted diseases.”
No, not this one. The one on this page called Zip-Trek. Then try Seal on Kayak. With mustard. KIDDING. I kid. Anyway, oh yeah, I love these damn Canada.travel commercials. The spirit of home video but shot with real cameras. What more do you need to sell you on an outdoor adventure? Simple. Nice. Fun.
*pauses*
Yeah, couldn’t let it go without mentioning how damn hard it was to track these down. This is the shit that bugs me because a simple fix could tie it all in nicely. You run TV spots in the U.S. that are not your usual vacation commercials, but the url in them takes you to the main site which looks very much like any other travel site. It’s a small thing which undermines the vibe of the spots. Why make it hard to spread the word? (Maybe they’re just teasing us for all the Canadian-U.S. little brother jokes and they really don’t want us coming up?)
Lately, when something negative happens with a brand, the first responses on Twitter, blogs or other media outlets seem to give “kudos” to the brand in question for responding, or maybe they mention the “power of Twitter and the internet!” Yea power! Yea internet! Please, just stop. The parroting of the what the A-list is saying is really getting insane. In this case, the response from Domino’s president Patrick Boyle needed to be done, like, yesterday.
Stop reading into the video quality, or how he didn’t make eye contact, or his Disney animatronic-like delivery, or how clever of them to respond on the same social net the damaging clip first appeared on. Normally, I’d agree, because that’s the same shit I go after brands for all the time.
But that’s not important here.
Boyle did what he had to with a straight-forward message because, well, it’s food and people want reassurance—now. A store and an entire company were basically brought to their knees by two dumbasses who played the brand. If you want to read into anything, see the sleepless face of a president who’s watching profits take a hit behind the scenes because of this. Also check out how surprised he was that it could happen, because that’s just as telling. Brands should be happy—and fortunate—that it hasn’t happened far more.
Employee guidelines are nice, but all it takes is two who could care less. Twitteria ensues!
The more important point here involves how agencies and clients work together. PR, TV, internet, social nets, outdoor, in-store, radio, etc., all have to be used because there will always be a need for each. TV ain’t going anywhere. Neither is radio, or outdoor, or in-store, or whatever your poison.
You don’t just employ one media channel or tactic and call it a daybecause they're not mutually exclusive.
Yet comments I see once again on Twitter act as if they are. There actually is life outside Twitter’s narrow confines. The inverse of this is where people think if it isn’t mentioned on Twitter, it didn’t happen. (See: This.)
Twitter may “replace” PR in some people’s minds, (and I give flacks flack a LOT here), but you still need the “art” of of damage control and messaging. Twitter and YouTube at this point become tools for the spin. As such, I’d expect at some point to see a more formal TV spot with either Boyle above or CEO David Brandon. Print ads will start appearing trying to win back trust. Outdoor even. Facebook groups will start up. Whatever.
Point is, you need to employ everything with a brand, not just at crisis time, or at launch, but all the time.
Skittles, Snickers, Segway, Pepsi, Tropicana and this week, Domino’s. Why does it seem there’s never a case study on really cool stuff being done—except here of course—but rather, the missteps people think brands take? Hmmm. Maybe because Monday morning quarterbacking is easier?
As for YouTube or Twitter being the only things that will make or break a brand, I’ll let you know after they catch the two and fame hits. In this “We’ll get fired but we’ll get famous” culture, I bet their arrest clip ends up a bigger hit than the original, thus growing their “personal brand.”
(Ouch. That was probably more painful to write than seeing the dress she was wearing, sorry.) Every once and awhile, Team Beautiful gets a warning shot fired across the bow that says talent still matters. The ugly truth is that people want Kelly Clarkson behind the voice, not Mrs. Doubtfire. Give Susan Boyle some credit for blowing up on YouTube though. She was different than the trainwrecks you usually see, the ones who think they can sing or the ones with coworkers who really need to be a tad bit more honest with them. (It’s the only reason I watch the American version—the auditions early in the process.)
The ones though who can actually sing but who never get a major shot like this? Good for them and good for her. So now the media will do what it does and follow her until she gets kicked off a later round. For now, enjoy the hype and watch CBS lead off the interview above with “You look beautiful!” Nice. Hey CBS, whatever you do, don’t go out of your way to make her feel less self-conscious or anything. Then, watch the free makeover offers start to roll in as she makes it through the competition. (Hey Dove, here’s your chance to walk the walk.)
Continuing with kids used for political agendas, does this latest series of spots by the NY State Health Dept. go too far? (Read the story in the notes section and watch the Today Show segment here.) Listen to the post-rationalization going on: NYC health Commissioner Dr. Thomas Frieden says it’s okay because the spots don’t lie. (Awesome. As if you needed a reason to never again ask a government official to judge the merits of an ad campaign.) Nor does it seem Donny Deutsch can make up his mind: He would never do it if it were his kid, buuuuut, it’s a good ad, and if it helps save 20,000 people, then it’s okay to make kids cry.
Well, which is it? The greater good justification at work here is sweet. Then there’s program director Fiona Sharkie, who heads Quit Victoria, who said about the agency’s work here “Quit would never be part of something deliberately harming a child ... made this commercial within the letter of the law.” Yeah, I bet. So much for the “spirit” of the law though because honestly, you did. They say they never set out to intentionally hurt the child actor, but that’s from an adult POV. How do they know what’s going through a kid’s mind in a situation like that.
What this does is focus people on the issue of whether it’s wrong to make a kid cry, just as long as it’s for a good cause. The message is driven home further with a little too clever voiceover. If you ask me, I don’t think the spot goes far enough to tie in the problem of smoking. I want a kid wailing on dad’s death bed as they give him last rites.
I want his damn dog howling. (Call casting, see if we can maybe get a soccer mom to throw herself across the foot of the bed while sobbing.) C’mon, really push it. Don’t give me this weakass lost-child metaphor crap, because all you’ve done here is give me a reason kids should be LoJacked.
I’m going out for a smoke, argue amongst yourselves if this is okay or not.
There’s gotta be fishing bobbers over the doors that move as soon as we drive up. Walk in the showroom and it’s the same six guys trying to make that month’s quota, all eyeing you like new meat on D-Block. One comment on the previous post mentioned how much the dealer rules Detroit, and, it’s true. No matter how many automotive brands I’ve worked on, the whole process gets me every time, and I freaking hate it.
The goal is simple now: Survive the walk across the showroom floor with family in tow just to sit in a damn car. At one point fighting back the initial onslaught of “So, how we doing today?” I think I even yelled out “Hold! As one! Single column!”
So what I learned in this latest excursion is what I suspected would happen again since the last time I ventured out: Not much has changed. Desperate times? So what. 20+ years of buying cars and except for Saturn’s no-haggle I’m your friend approach, it’s all the same. Dealers entice you to come in and try and find the deal they listed on the full-page ad of your local paper. (They REALLY love it when you point out how you can’t seem to find that deal on the lot anywhere.)
Hyundai. Saturn. Ford. Chrysler. GM. VW. Kia. Toyota. Dodge. Yep. Trying them all in the price range just to see what’s new—if anything. For the most part, each carmaker always had a certain way it drove. (Chrysler’s front end was usually meant to die by 60,000 miles, Ford rode like a tank, etc.) But having rented a lot of cars for business these past few years, handling and ride has improved across the board for most of the Big Three.
Besides the ride, what else has changed? Some dealers have plenty of 2009 brochures but no matching 2009 vehicles (Hyundai.) Others have no 2009 brochures, but plenty of 2009 cars. (Saturn.) Deals most carmakers are throwing your way? Well, does 0.0% or cash back do the trick? Not in Hyundai’s case.
They ran different spots with Jeff Bridges to get you to Think About It, sure, but they’ve done nothing to change reality as far as I’m concerned. Industry-leading vehicle warranties and other protections can’t mask the fact that the fit and finish feels cheap. (And this ain’t no $17,000 car either.)
VW? Deals and resale aside, I wanted to like the Touran; I had two Jettas before—I just couldn’t fit in it comfortably. Same too for Subaru. (My criteria for buying a car is a lot simpler that it is for most people: I need to be able to get in without banging the hell out of my knee or my head. Complete those tasks? Forget the rest and let’s talk financing, mister.)
Dodge and Chrysler? Only deal they’re offering is employee pricing for another few weeks. They have really “agressive pricing” according to my sales guy. Hmmm. Aggressive in my mind would be matching what the others are doing: 0% financing for 60 months. Instead, they only go 36. I’m surprised Chrysler missed the mark there. They of all companies should know that people want to borrow longer. Of course, with 60-month leases more popular now, I can see the country heading towards loans rivaling the term of home mortages. “Announcing GM’s new 15-year plan!”
OH, yeah, and the “We’ll take over your payments if you lose your job” thing? HA! Everyone has it now. But hold up a sec... forget freelancers because it doesn’t apply to: the self-employed, (moi), anyone retired, an employee of that particular car company, part-time workers, anyone receiving a severance or a seasonal worker. (Seasonal worker? Are people coming over from Mexico in such droves that this was a problem?
Basically, that list is about 90% of the country. Guess they didn’t get the email about small businesses being the real engine of our economy—why help them.
Kia? Just too unreliable. Our 4-year experiment with them now over thanks to a tree, I can officially say more cupholders, while nice, is waaaaay overrated. (Before that, we tried their first-ever minivan which subsequently broke down after six months. Went back to the dealer? Out of business. When we called Kia directly, they had no idea it had closed. So yeah, experiment over.)
See, Hyundai, Kia and Chrysler fall in the same category here: It’s as if they expect people to go for the perceived value of things like extra cupholders, extended warranties and stow and go seating so much they’ll overlook things like maintenance costs and reliability down the road. Maybe a few will, but screw the guarantee on the box, I think I’d rather buy a quality product from Tommy Boy instead.
Have to say, Ford surprised me a lot with how solid a lot of their rides have become, but Saturn seems to be the one for now. That’s what shopping turns into: One car becomes the fav and it’s up to the others to knock it out of first place. Stay tuned for more misery...
But first, let me go get my manager. Be right back.
“Must love dropping me off and picking me up at rehab.” Risky move going away from everyday people to Hollywood, but hey whatever works. Maybe trying to win back some of the crowd who gave eHarmony shit for supposedly refusing people on the basis of sexual preference? Don’t know if I bi- the move though.
What do we have today. Hmmm. Diets and revolutions? Awesome.
1) Not only is the entire meal in your colon, so is the glass. Ouch. 2) An abdominal view-lateral is always preferred to a non-lateral. (Always.) 3) I love heavy metaphors, but shouldn’t the shoe be a righty? 4) Sequel time: If one tea party rocked the start of a fledgling democracy, surely another one is the reset button this country needs! 5) If Elton John can rework Candle in the Wind, why not a political classic?
That’s not the first time I’ve heard that sentiment from the Twitter Police. Hurs the problem: While an abridged form of the normal conversations people have face to face, Twitter is still conversation nonetheless. Unless you’re watching a David Lynch short, people don’t just enter a room every hour and make one-sentence pronuncements on random topics, then leave. You have to expect a degree of back and forth replyage. But, I share their pain. I mean really, I’ve been known to drop someone for writing 8,000-word blog posts on why 140 character Twitter updates 3x an hour sucks. Only because... um, 8,000 words tends to equal around, say, the number of characters found in someone who updates... three times an hour on Twitter. *Irony meter redlining fast*
Oops. You mean you can’tsay things about your competitor that aren’t true? (No confirmation on whether Coke plans on countersuing Pepsi for not having a real logo.)
Beer Wars the doc takes a look at how larger brewers have been under attack from the little guys for some time. (Although seeing Jim Koch portrayed as scrappy underdog is more than a little disengenous. The Sam Adams is a homespun microbrew dog don’t hunt no more, not when it’s brewed in different locations across the country. Basically, anywhere but Boston. (Shock. Awe.) Nice marketing job though. You can see it in various theatres for one night only this Thursday, April 16th. Ticket info here.
You. Can’t. Look. Away. It's not just a creepy Teletubbies/multi-colored iCondoms commercial, it’s a groundbreaking 6-minute product benefits PSA! Trust me, there’s something for everyone.
What better way to digest all that Easter chocolate than catching an episode of the latest iteration of Bravo’s Real Housewives series. To sum up the preview of the New Jersey edition, um, well, damn, Bravo hasn’t really done much to dispel the stereotypes, that’s for sure. I think my TV’s messed up now from me throwing shit at it—and not because they’re wrong. Hey, since product placement integration is all the rage, I sure hope they do a warm-up suit tie-in with Bob’s and Hollywood Tans. Cue sales spike!
Yeah, um, about that whole test thing? Professor Biden may have been a little too right. Note to all students: For successfully completing this assignment, you will receive extra credit.
This week’s 50th episode of the Beancast has, um, me, John Wall, Steve Hall and Al Gadbut discussing of all things, newspapers selling out, BK selling chicken and Ford selling Fiestas to anyone with a... license. PSYCHE! Download the show directly here. Topics here. (Subscribe through iTunes here.) You can also follow us on Twitter: TheBeanCast, mtlb, John and Steve.
Part of the Beancast episode I was on this week covered the history of Subservient Chicken. For anyone who sends me PR releases about “viral” videos which, um, haven’t been released yet, or for anyone not familiar with the background behind the internet kink classic, read this breakdown from Barbarian Group on the 5-year anniversary. Viral as a term really took off when Subservient came out even though things like Blair Witch Project that came before could be just as easily be considered viral. In addition to the article though, read the comments section with some of Barbarian’s people adding further insight into the process as well as working with Crispin on it. Ignore gurus telling you to “Just make compelling content”—this is a case study on how it was done. One key thing everyone misses in explaining why something goes viral is context. Jack in the Box’s Larry The Crime Donkey aside, the zeitgeist of the fast food industry then was such that a freaky chicken in garters was overdue to cut through the typical bullshit food porn you still see so much of. (Food porn being gorgeous product shots with happy models happily being happy.)
Who said I don’t cover hirings and firings here. In times like these, I was worried about the little guy. Glad to see he was able to find work as the local neighborhood watch rooster.
While Say it ain’t Joe scares New Yorkers with his spin on how to handle mass transit and Swine Flu, BART riders at Glen Park in San Fran recently had a different idea. How cool is this: A group of people installed five swings for anyone to use, then took pics. Okay, having ridden that BART route, happy and joyful were not my first impressions. (While far more open than a NYC subway, picture a tin can with indoor-outdoor carpeting and Brady Bunch-inspired ergonomics/color scheme, all the fun riding at midnite brings, and a jet turbine level nail-scratching sound outside as cars pass through certain enclosed areas further south.) Still, with everything going on, why not throw up a swing and do something this cool. When’s the last time adults had fun in a non-ad effort like this?*
