WANTED: Social Media Expert to Help Write Ad For Social Media Expert.

Are you social? Are you into media? Are you an expert? Combine all three and apply now, bitches! Attention Web 2.0 freaks: Right now someone in your neighborhood is hiring. If that is, you’re an expert and social. Qualifications? Let’s look, k? [As always, bracketing the snark for your safety and protection.]

Wanted:
Social Media Web 2.0 EXPERT. [Mere upper & lower case experts need not apply.]
Facile with all aspects of online marketing and PR.
Can create social communities using all available technologies. [Just whip out the new ComBuilder model #300 from Makita, available at Social Media Depot.]
Knows how to get social and create viral-worthy marketing campaigns that generate buzz, participation and leads! [Doesn’t have to actual go viral, just needs to be viral-worthy. Oh, and leads? That’s SO pre-Web 1.0, innit!]

Specific expertise in:
- In depth understanding of Facebook and Facebook applications, Twitter and Tweet apps, Myspace, back linking and blogging. [I back link often when I’m not backpacking. When I’m not doing that? I’m in-depthing myself with the Facebook and the Twitter.]
- Conducting blogger outreach to promote contests and sweeps. [Because that’s all bloggers are good for. Everyone knows this!]
- Crafting new social networking opportunities. [Like, hookabloggerup.com? Pet project of mine that was a cross between match.com and craigs misc. encounters section. Just needed some angel funding.]
- Analyzing trends and behavior stats. [What, no targeting of demos?]

[End of snark!]

So, expert seekers, you already lost if this is how you plan to seach for your next guru. (Least you didn’t use that word.) And if this is an agency in Fairfield County that I already know about, hmmm, then I don’t actually because you don’t even list an agency url. Not. Cool. Besides, if you know me, you know that’s exactly what I’d say about anyone writing like that trying to demonstrate their knowledge of the space. As they say on craigs, your url gets mine! Email me though, and maybe I can help rework it for ya. I got spare time!

(Tip via.)

So it’s your browser that’s kept you from a better online experience.

Dean Cain is pretty funny in this S.H.Y.N.E.S.S. clip from MS Internet Explorer 8, but I’m not sure how a new browser eliminates bad pet photo distribution. They seem to think it does. Selling a browser like you’re selling search engines though? Hmmm. Selling browsers in general nowadays seems like the car dealer equivalent of saying “But our cars have tires!”

Wizzzas!

Oh, they’re a lot older than 1998.

Tags: Wizzzer

See, the future IS here—now!

When heroes fall? I THINK NOT. It’s a bionic ear people. I knew if I waited long enough it would happen. Now, who’s got that Phaser thing worked out?

Tags: Six Million Dollar Man

The Wrap of Cannes.

This week it’s all about Cannes and awards. Me, who didn’t go, and those who did: Dabitch and Angela Natividad. We even managed to throw in a Michael Jackson reference. Yea us! Download the show directly here. Topics here. (Subscribe through iTunes here.) Follow us on Twitter: TheBeanCast, mtlb, dabitch and Angela.
Tags: The Beancast

But wait, there’s more...

– Contextual sadness, madness, badness, all in one. Possibly NSFW (Via Mr.BrownThumb.)
– THERE’S something you never see. Another Bald Guy running around in advertising.
– Up Syndrome.
– Got straight? Thank William.
– Not breaking news.
– Remember when I said cute puppies could work? Well, there’s this too. PNSFW
– They came. They voted. They left.
– You had me at commission.
– Colives.
– Self-absorbed? Welcome to 2009.
– PRETTY sure this wasn’t the first time she’s done this.
– Was Sears ever cool? Wait, don’t answer that.
– Silos and towers people.
– More LOLsuits. (Click or be sued.)
– Oh snap. Literally.
– When the usual 432,000 seconds is too much.

Billy Mays never won at Cannes.

Ironical that Cannes just wrapped, basically handing out awards for work that sells soda, burgers and TV, while Mr. Direct Response likely sold more than all of them combined—lifetime. Not that there’s anything wrong with awarding gorgeous work, but before we start giving out awards for PR, maybe it’s time to stop ignoring informercials. OR at least award the spoofs.

Overheard internet.

Because internet comments are cool, honest and sad:

“They have lots of geothermal plants outside of Sparks, Nevada, and you don't see the people of Reno worried. Butch up, Bay Area.” – BadUncle

“Carrie Prejean is not only beautiful but strong, moral and smart, that is what scares the he11 out of freaks like Keith Lewis, Perez Hilton and the rest of the Hollywood crowd. The public is tiring of self-important, blame-America, anti-God, celebrity egotists, spewing their venom to the world while praising themselves and giving each other endless awards so they won't feel guilty for participating in their own disgusting, deviant lifestyles. They preach "tolerance" but these deviants are not satisfied with tolerance, they want full acceptance of their sick lifestyles and mental illnesses while they surround themselves with adoring, weak minded worshipers who will never tell them the truth..”
– fantum

“Here I thought that Huffington Post was attracting pageviews by employing fonts so large that they have their own gravitational pull.” – morninggloria

“why couldn’t you have killed yourself before you opened your shitty mouth and spred your shitty opinion ” – callumlo24

Yet another visual to explain this thing.

Not sure about this. I know the craze is to come up with a visual based on how you perceive social networks, but I’m still trying to figure it out. A few things don’t feel right about it, but maybe it’s me. I do like the squirrel though.

(Tip to Corey.)

Okay, it’s a nice spot. Don’t hate me.

I saw this Thai insurance spot from Cannes and thought it was worth sharing. (By the way, hope you didn’t come here for Cannes coverage because others did a waaaay better job than I did.) It’s really more a short film than anything, but it’s touching. Sure, some of it feels a little too melodramatic, but you forgive that because the individual stories draw you in. The common non-linear start thing-technique at the top leads to a nice payoff at the end.

Films like this, whether for a TV spot or embedded as part of a microsite, have an emotional impact that “really fucking cool” interactive gaming sites* will never have. An adrenaline rush or cool vibe is one thing—an emotional reaction is another. (You could argue that how you get to that brand connection doesn’t matter, just as long as you get there, but I disagree. I can get to a brand emotionally with a cheap trick or stunt just as easily; I just don’t always choose to.)

But this brings up a topic related to Jeff Goodby’s Ad Age column on awards better left for the next post, suffice to say, any agency should be doing these kind of stories. Just because you’re not a major shop doesn’t mean you should avoid trying something this compelling.

*Don’t even start. I love “really fucking cool” interactive gaming sites as much as anyone. I’m just saying, there’s more than one way “into” a brand story.

Nope. Don’t even think of it.

The chocolate is actually good for you approach rears it’s fugly head again. Mars, seriously, don’t even. The only way it’s healthy (for me at least), is that I know enough not to come between a woman and her chocolate, thus extending my life a little while longer. But touting how responsible you are for healthier school snacks and less ads aimed at kids is like Big Tobacco taking credit for no longer advertising on TV.

Do your part for the cause.

WWII meets Web 2.0 in this propagandistic “reimagining” of classic posters.

(Via.)

“He can speak French—in Russian.”

Not sure there’s a better beer campaign running now. It’s right up there with Bud’s Real Men of Genius and the recent Miller High Life work. Dos Equis’ Most Interesting Man has the Old Spice vibe that I woulda liked to have seen Wieden give Heineken, (although that taxi spot still kicks ass), and the writing is as good as it gets. Stay Thirsty you Where’s The Beef tagline-starved ad freaks.

You still have time to kill an idea.

Usually, killed ideas get recycled for the next client. This is better. Steve over at AdRants is giving away copies of the book version of Killed Ideas for answering a little trivia there. GO DO IT NOW. Meanwhile, you have until June 30th to vote for your favorite idea out of 50 at the main website.

Stay Classy™—stay with Plaid!

Plaid Nation. That rolling tour of social media pornography and creativity is back for its third year. ACCEPT NO SUBSTITUTES! Okay, there’s no porn, but there is SM! And Twitter. And everything else that you use to keep track of your no-life online life 24/7. Along the way, Plaid’s met major brands, major social media freaks and innovators, major agencies and far-out places. Now they’ve got Ford and Sprint as sponsors taking the message to the masses. What’s better than Dallas or Vegas in August? NEW ORLEANS! That’s like, sun-hot. With a wool suit.

So here’s the deal: Plaid’s looking to meet with interesting brands, agencies and blogger freaks along the way and show them what a fully-loaded Ford Flex with Wi-Fi, webcams and donuts can do. The tour schedule shows all the tour locations, but in Branson, MO, Jackson, MS & NOLA, we’re looking for more. So email us to set up a meet, or, if you want to support the tour and blog about us, YOU WILL GET SCHWAGGAGE.

[ About this thang: Originally started as a way to reintroduce Plaid and their social skillz to existing clients—and get out of the studio—the tour has resulted in a series of major new business wins as well as generated a lot of publicity. A small shop outside NYC’s radar, Plaid knows ya gotta do things a little differently, and somehow, a postcard announcing “We’ve changed our name!” wouldn’t have been quite the same thing. Not when compared with a van of sugar-scoffing designers wearing Plaid shirts bringing design love to clients everywhere. But hey, by all means, keep sending out those cards if you think it’ll help your agency. Hard to get Ford to sponsor that though.

Speaking of sponsors, along the way we always tried to avoid PR whore status by emailing people we know non-stop. If regular readers here want to help spread the word around the ad blogs, cool, we appreciate it. End of pitch.]

From the always check your screengrabs before presenting to the client files.

“Hey, you guys reviewed these, right?” Yep. In the real world you won’t be able to control every username that enters your space, but in a meeting to show some of the sites out there ahead of time, it’s probably a good idea to leave Mr. AssNacho home next time.

A house is now following you on Twitter.

A house. On Twitter. Based on the follows I’ve gotten from all walks of life, this shouldn’t have surprised me, but, a house. I’ve gotten a ton of “green” followers lately too, but this takes things a little farther, donnit? On Twitter. A house. (I don’t mind because, well, I keep waiting for Kit from Knight Rider to follow me, so a house is just one more step. Talking VW? I could see that too.) But what became odd was several people for the house started following me as well. Ehhh, rather you just stay with the gimmick of the house sans people. I said sans.

The most uncomfortable 6:40 of your life.

At first, you think you can make it through because, well, it’s got Bowie and that’s not so bad. But something happens about a minute in and you’re not sure what you got yourself into. Then, halfway through, your lungs start to burn, but you tell your ears and eyes to shut up and take it. Heading into the final turn, you’re determined to see it through, even if you have to crawl across the finish line. Enjoy!

Remember when newspapers made money and spelled things correctly?

Yeah, me neither. See, I’m a blogger, so I can get away with typos and bad grammar. (Least that’s what they told me in blogging school.)* The typo-filled story above is from a Canadian publication. Not that location matters, but it’s been happening all over though with increasing regularity, and not just on local sites, but on major ones like Yahoo! Excite and even the AP. Typos. Paragraphs that repeat. Poor grammar.** Yea all-intern staff! Cut and paste lives!

How bad is it when you can’t even copy and paste a pool report without screwing it up? Look closer and they even have a link to report typo—ironic and sweet.*** But c’mon, only one typo?

“...But it would be a traumatic event for parents and a young child.”

What would. Dying? OH. I get it now. The grammar! *smacks head*

I’m glad real journalists are out there standing watch on that wall, because deep down in places you don’t talk about at tweetups, we want you on that wall, we NEED YOU ON THAT WALL. Bloggers like us playing fast and loose with basic journalistic principles? Crazy!

Hey, maybe if we got paid like them there fancy newspaper columnists, we’d actually get shit right, huh.

*Plays get out of jail free card and takes blogger 5th against self-incrimination.
**Fail-safe: I’m an art director. We don’t write. Much.
***Not as ironic as the Google ad which popped up after posting this however.

He tweet me.

Yes he does, doesn’t he.

Who needs dates. I do! I do!

From my favorite bug people comes the product of one too many beers from craft services coupled with a little brainstorming. Swear these were real when they sent them in. At first, you’re like, no way there’s a Vegan site like that, right? Right. Except, there is a real one, and it’s even better. In case, you know, you’re looking to hook up with a veggie. (Insert puns as needed.)

Previously in internet dating.

“Hi, may I ta... *garbled* ...orde... *garbled* ...at be all?”

AT KFC, WE RIG THAT SHIT RIGHT. While I’m slammed in work, please experience a little of my weekend. Best of all? The line running out of the drive-up window out to MacGyver Central.

Tags: KFC

Bruce Lee vs. Iron Man.

At least he didn’t do that come hither move with his fingers.

(Tip to Highjive.)

It’s not the gun collection.

It’s that first tattoo she comes home with on her 18th birthday. Still nice warm Father’s Day series though.

Order your Amazon Kindling in time for next Christmas.

This is evil mad scientist laboratory type genius stuff. I love how it all comes together like that. Give you a nice, warm feeling. Literally.

What they shoulda done was...

So I’m just going to start calling out stuff I notice about sites that make me wonder what were they thinking—or not thinking of.

Even though I don’t listen to it, Pandora is one of the more well-known online radio sites out there. I was flipping around for something when a Bose ad came up. Continuing my love for them, they’re doing here what a lot of advertisers do by running an ad that has zero relevance or connection with the site it’s on beyond the category. (In this case, the Bose family of fine audio products! Music, get it? Connection, made!)

They’re arguably two of the most recognizable brands, but there’s no attempt by Bose to do something more dynamic with the message. Tying in with a particular genre? Promoting a certain artist by getting a music label involved? How about even connecting the quality of your audio gear with some clever writing?

Woulda, coulda, shoulda.

Why mom was messed up, reason No. 34.

Attention all silver-winged daredevils!

While duty calls on my end, take a look at the way duty called in the past.

*salutes readers*

(Tip to Corey.)

Humans stay away.

It’s like viral. Or guerilla. Or something. The trailer? It’s like something you’ve never seen before. Sci-fi with political and cultural subtext in Johannesburg. (Risky!) D-9 even has a website. SO 2005.

Tags: D-9

Real men stay sassy—and thirsty.

The scary thing is that Dos Equis guy is the perfect parody of this genre while Ketel One’s new Real Man™ spots are circle the spoof drain. Like the recent Bacardi Mojito spot, they’re taking themselves a little too seriously. I prefer my drinks on the rocks sans smug. Canadian Club’s real men update feels truer to me. What am I saying? Some brands get the real man thing, some don’t. It’s all good though just as long as you remember to Stay Thirsty.

Or maybe you’re just a man who doesn’t fit in.

McAfee nails hackers—and “branded infotainment.”

Whew. I almost went with “entertainment” in the title. Figured I’d better switch it up. So when’s the last time I raved about something again? Just when I thought Unilever and NBC had killed the concept, I saw this clip for nerds or something, at least I thought. It’s part of a series of shorts about H*Commerce produced by McAfee at StopHCommerce.com. (H*Commerce is the business of making money through the illegal use of technology to compromise personal and business data.)

When brands miss the mark on this stuff it’s because they focus either on a brand message or the entertainment part; rarely both, and rarely well. Too often, the entertainment that should play off the spirit of the product somehow becomes six degrees removed from it, and neither master is served.

Which they could’ve easily done here with McAfee’s central calling: Security. (Cue series of YouTube clips with guy and giant “M” on his shirt resisting all forms of destruction from friends with assorted power tools—yea cartoon violence!) The majority of this stuff almost always takes a sitcom or action sequence approach. Instead, Tribal DDB SF and DDB West take an educational approach by mimicing a Discovery Channel slash exposé.

By doing that, it also teaches you something you didn’t know anything about, but have a vested interest in. Regardless of your occupation, you either use a computer, or your life is affected by one.

The whole thing is produced well, from the shooting of the series to the site’s interface. It was also the first online ad that I’ve ever seen that let me embed itself directly. Speaking of, the only knock is the default size of the player/clip on the actual site when you go to embed it somewhere. It’s a Wendy’s waaaay too big at almost 500 px wide. Most blog posts, such as this one, run an average of 400 pixels wide.

Not a problem if you resize clips by hand like me, but this won’t let you. Small detail and easily fixed if they can offer alt sizes. (They could’ve also had some copies on YouTube as a workaround for this to link directly to.) Thankfully, they avoided the other annoying thing about embedding: Clips that play automatically. (Not cool unless I’m on YouTube.)

With the quality of everything else though, that’s minor shit that you can forgive because for once, you’re actually looking at a series you wanna watch.

But, it IS what you think of.

I was originally going to go with Lady parts for $29.99? Bargain! for a title, but the more I thought about it, I like the positioning of Lady Parts. (Oh my™) Not many brands would touch that, but they in fact went there. *flips pun switch off* When it comes to auto parts stores or service centers, it’s unusual to see what would typically be guy territory instead be pitched to women. But this got my attention over the Napa-Pep Boys-Auto Zone white noise. They downplay the name but they shouldn’t. Go with the joke and don’t write it off.

Forget the name though, how about that waiting room: NO WOOD PANELING? NO 3-YEAR OLD COPIES OF SPORTS ILLUSTRATED! SHAME! They probably serve little hot dogs and offer chair massages too. It’s only one location in Redwood City, CA, but next time I’m in the area and need lady parts or lady service? I’m stopping by! (Guess I should have them look at that pun switch while I’m there.)

Scanning Drudge.

(Along with some good old fashioned internet ad fun as I went off the res.)

1) Hey hey, my, my, teabagging will never die. Now THAT’S clever conservative writing.
2) Jane is considering all her options at once. Mr. Jane better start cooking his own meals.
3) Me-OW! Legwarmers for cankles.
4) Well, in times like these, nothing beats a day shopping.

Spam 2.0: “77 Lovemaking Mistakes and How to Avkoid Them.”

Looks like they heard me. Check out the awesome royalty-free art they sent me. Click for NSFW version. (How about that name too. I do be regarding it!*) Sure it’s tame, it’s just that you might work with the easily-offended, then you’ll come looking for me with a rifle because you lost your job. Notice how the chart gets to the point though. Literally.

*I doubt I could find a better series of images to compete with copywriting like that, so please, enjoy!

GM — For reals this time.

Shades of GM’s Tahoegate. From those Renegade freaks in Baltimore comes an ad GM would never run. Not that they need to though because even with the real one, you’re thinking the very same things in the voiceover. Bailout funds disperse, will. you?

Whatever he had, you wanted some, mister.

1970’s business chic? A Swell & Nifty pantsuit! Check out other amazing fashions over the years in GQ’s cover library. Back when men weren’t just models, they were Apparel Artists.

Contextual Dating Sadness.

Ladies, looks like you found Mr. Reich, and he has a special message of love just for you. (NSFW.)

But wait, there’s more...

– “Online piracy has decimated our business.” Pretty sure record label greed did.
– AOL found the Brady Bunch house. This is Where It’s At.
– “I think the quality of content will suffer.” Four years later, yep.
– Badass military acronyms.
– Actually, it’s a foursome.
– You knew this though, about the Civil War, right?
– The Earth is not flat; neither are Saturn’s rings.
– Guiding you with powerful visions and announcing my presence with authority.
– A look back at Crayola Crayons packaging.
– President Obama’s websites.
– Another one bites the dust. Make that two.
– Always videotape drunks. Always.
– “Not many people with buck teeth can make a million dollars.”
– Japan’s admakers are killing our admakers.
– Weiner Takes All—A Dogumentary. (Via.)

Ikreepy update.

So here’s that clip I mentioned from the recent Ikea series where Venida Evans does her best what the hell is that woman doing in their house move. (View the spot here.) And the air guitar thing was ripped by someone else I believe, a vacuum cleaner brand maybe?

Gorillas in silos using their Xboxes.

I think that’s what we got around to discussing. Good times with Abbey Klaassen from Ad Age’s Digital Next and Joe Jaffe. We didn’t even mention search once. Once I say. Download the show directly here. Topics here. (Subscribe through iTunes here.) Follow us on Twitter too if ya feel like it: TheBeanCast, mtlb, Joe Jaffe and Abbey.

Tags: The Beancast

Hey, look what those crazy Iranian kids are doing with Flickr!

Not to get all political and stuff, but... in case the kids on Twitter need a reminder while they’re busy turning the Iranian protests into their generation’s Tiananmen Square, (“I was there when it went down man—on Twitter!”), last time Iranian students started rioting 30 years ago, a bunch of Americans were taken hostage for 444 days. Fraudulent elections with Ahmadinejad aside, the Supreme Leader runs things there, and along with the other axle of evil Kim Jong-il, he doesn’t give a shit about the number of your followers, only his. They understand and respect one thing: Force and the willingness to use it. Ever the positive one though, I’ll keep an eye for an eye out for this email in case he changes his mind:

“The Supreme Leader is now following your updates on Twitter.”

Wendy’s new coffee toffee thing. It’s waaaay better in pictures.™

We stopped to grab lunch when I saw the sign for their new we’re trying to grab our share of why not do the pseudo Starbucks thing like everyone else Coffee Toffee Twisted Frosty. Even the drive-up guy sounded embarassed to have to repeat the name of it. Mmmmm. Ever a slave to the world of advertising messages and always on the hunt for new ways to mainline caffeine, I had to take one for the team and order it. I’m not sure what the hell I got.

Was it spin art? It looked like a mixture of all four of their desserts together. Ice cream bergs, chocolate coffee candy chunks, kinda white, kinda brown. I’m guessing this is waaaay better if it was mixed waaaay more? Might it also look more like the promo materials? I don’t care about the Frosty Possee if Drive-thru Dan can’t make the drink the right way.

While I’m not a Starbucks drinker, I could see where they can focus on quality and execution and not have any competition. It’ll just take some time for the fast food chains to collectively keep not giving a damn to drive customers back. (Thing is, can Starbucks wait for that to happen.) This is less about those places trying to be Starbucks though and more about tapping into the coffee obsession in this country. So a fast food place enhances their existing menu with all things coffee. Coffee fries will happen—it’s inevitable.

But, as long as they’re $2 less than Starbucks with a coffee flavor? Sold!

Tags: Wendy’s

We need a food referee too.

Look at them Aussies mate! (Um, meant, look at those Aussies, mate!) If they ever create that position here, I want in. Basically, Australia will propose that one person decides what ads aimed at kids are acceptable, and which ones aren’t. Good idea in principle, and while everyone would agree that kids need to be exposed to less advertising, where do you draw the line? The messaging kids focus most on now is text anyway. The “ads” they see are in every branded entertainment vehicle or music video. Seems like a cereal ad is the least of their worries.

You’re in the game.

While it may be a sad commentary that video games have replaced real life, this EA spot called Joy really connects the why gamers play with the players on both sides of the screen. They could’ve even done without showing clips from actual video games at the end because it’s strong enough without it. And just this once, I would’ve also changed the tagline.

Tags: EA Sports

“I think it looks like a fluffy mattress.”

Was tempted to write some inspiring bullshit like “The wisdom of clouds” but, nah. What I liked about the shot in this story was that the amateur photographer who took it (and who isn’t a meteorologist), has the real ones up in arms. Score one for the amateurs.

(+ cloud for freaky fluff.)

Welcome home. Again.

“...I don’t know, but I remember leaving the Marines early and later walking out of the bus, not knowing where to go. My story was different but three family members found me minutes later. Just something about this video that hits me really hard. Those guys then were your real brothers...”catsolo84

Coming at it from a different POV, this IAVA spot for CommunityofVeterans.org is effective in welcoming back vets from Iraq and Afghanistan. As the war has become more and more unpopular, seems like it became easy to forget those still serving. A little reminder never hurts.

I mean, if you recognized the colon lady in an airport...

would you really give her props, you know, in public like that? I wouldn’t. I’d just give her that knowing smile, nod, and keep walking past in that special way that only she and I would know about. They missed an opportunity though to shoot the scene near security so that TSA could work in a rubber glove cameo.

*cues Röyksopp as she walks by her own posters*

The spot Red Lobster would never run.

Short version: For the seafool lover in you. (KAPOWIE!) Too busy with their food porn spots, leave it to the captains of the sea to take matters into their own hands and show Red Lobster how to do something interesting. He doesn’t even break character once people. I said once.

Long version: I figured I should explain the food porn reference more. It’s the term I use for brands that focus strictly on gorgeous close-ups of their product for :30 seconds and nothing else, save for a big ol’ logo.

This happens with other categories too, like automotive or health & beauty. With fast food chains or sit-down restaurants like Red Lobster, you get the added bonus of the sultry 1-900 voiceover and a script that usually includes the words succulent, juicy or tender. (Sometimes all three for the food porn hat trick.)

So why is it a problem? It’s not. Some brands live for this. They’ve done their focus groups to verify that people love close-ups of shrimp—succulent closeups—and they’ll be damned if they’re going to deviate.

Problem is, advertising like that becomes so much white noise. Then the account goes up for review because the brand is looking for a new direction from its agency. (A direction that four guys just gave them in under four minutes.) Several things happened with Burger King and their King character though that apply here.

1) BK had marketing people willing to try something new.
If don’t have any support from the brand, you’re dead. Or, if you’re not dead, you end up creating boring work.

2) This is not your father’s brand icon.
Up to that point, brands typically had a character associated with them, either one that was on the label (Coppertone girl, and Aunt Jamima), one that was brought to life (Ronald McDonald, the Michelin Man or ones created specifically for ad camapigns (Mr. Whipple, the Maytag).

Burger King hadn’t had one until then, relying mostly on a service proposition: “all we ask is that you let us serve it your way!” When they finally did though after Crispin Porter came in? It was cleary unlike anything else done with an icon before. Characters were supposed to be reassuring.

The King would stare at you. In bed. WHO DOES THAT?

(Progressive Insurance is now taking this theme off into yet a different direction with the Progressive counter girl. Personification of your brand as an actual person is the new old black.)

3) Categories need a wakeup call from time to time.
Back in 2004, the majority of advertising for the top three fast food chains, Wendy’s, McD’s and Burger King had them using shiny happy families eating shiny happy burgers. The classic “Where’s the beef?” from almost two decades earlier was a distant memory. Then Burger King threw some garters on and went all subservient. (Yes, Jack in the Box was doing funky before BK, it’s just that this is Burger King—they sneeze and CNN covers it.) Since, Burger King has enjoyed an almost 5-year long resurgence.

Playing it safe makes you like everything else in the category, and creates opportunities for someone else to step up and do something different.

Red Lobster has always done this though. Gorgeous close-ups. Dull copy. Boring brand. That video above? Is the poke in the head the category and the brand needs.

Obviously too long for one spot on national TV, but edited down, it could work as a series of unbranded spots running consecutively, thus creating a subplot through an entire show. The dude in the raincoat could be the next Gordon’s Fisherman, albeit with a little more freak.

But if not, there’s always succulent lobster tails to fall back on.

(Clip via Ectoplasmosis.)

Tags: Red Lobster

Na na na na, my... diploma!

The commercial songalanche has now produced whiteout conditions. Education connection? Rock on. (Or maybe kinda folk is your thing.)

“When it comes to auto insurance ads, bad is our middle name.”

Son of best local insurance ad is back. Although, I would’ve gone with “Wow, look at those “great rates!”

(Via Gold Creative.)

When the revolution happens, Coke WILL be greeted as liberators.

(Via.)

It’s Friday, so laugh!

Sure it’s old, but in times like these, why not escape* to the movies!

*This would be the blogging equivalent of phoning it in, but, duty calls.

OH NO THEY DI’INT!

Yes, they did.

Tags: NJ Transit

See, with Unilever, everything’s a unique branded-entertainment integration opportunity.

And here I thought it was an ice cream spot. Unilever continues the product placement hubris with another epic, dead horse beating UBEIO. (I almost worked an A in there for a vowel full house!) The spot? Seamless. The CGI? Awesome. The concept? Plays off the name perfectly: Smooth & Dreamy. Ice cream so smooth, you want to dream. (Get it?) Dream that you’re back in a time when things sucked less.

The oh so hot actress but not so hot she melts the ice cream in a non-sultry Sex in the City Lite™ way? Check! Jane Krakowski from 30 Rock. Oh, wait, now it’s starting to make sense. An NBC show. Fresh from a string of UBEIO fl opps, they’re lobbying hard to be the king of placement. Doesn’t it seem like if there was a way to work a product shot into a natural disaster, they’d find it?

(They may even warrant the coining of a new term when placement fails: Flacement. (Flacid + placement.)

As for the theme, yes, it’ll no doubt shed tears for those old classics and the single women who can’t get a date now that craigslist is curtailing their hook-up casual encounters section. Suitabel replacement? A half-gallon of pure pleasure and a remote. Nice! *cue brand giving itself kudos for “connecting” with their demo*

So ennywy, there’s been a focus recently on bringing together different entertainment experiences under the guise of branded entertainment. Some brands nail it like BMW Films, Freixenet and Ikea. Others... eh. By going this route, they’ve missed the essence of what this brand and category should be about. There’s a perfect place from which to approach it that a few of us took it recently. *cue shameless plug*

Along with their previous spots** which seem like they’ll provide a nice bump in the number of 70s Hits downloads on iTunes, this one will no doubt be held up at some conference next year as another example of what successful Unilever brands are doing with content like this. Someone from the agency will then comment anonymously that this spot is awesome, don’t hate!

Things is, I don’t hate. But I do the know the difference between doing something cool with original material—and mashups of really outdated movies using really good CGI as your only strategy. (Seriously, the only legal use of a Gone With The Wind theme should be the dog calender photo shoot at the end of Best in Show.)

“We’re getting the costumer to spend more time with the brand” is actually a decent goal. I just didn’t think it meant spending more time with Clark Gable too. Congrats on losing most of your male audience?

Unilever, when you’re done dreaming, gimmee me a shout.

*And I hate the word kudos. Worse than preggers and foodie. No, really, I do.

**Awwww. Someone replaced the American version of this spot that I linked to on YouTube and replaced it with a French version and different music.

There’s always someone out there for you.

(Tip to Angela.)


















Yes, and if there are ads for them, rest assured that I will find out about them and post accordingly. Match.com needs to target like this. Forget 29 different levels of compatibility, do you know how many religions and races we can exploit? Lots!

“If you use hits of the 70s...”

See, if I was Thinking Outside The Bun™, I’d have Two Jive Crew pull up and rap the Pina Colada song. But I guess mixing in highway/office/breakcation wordplay is just as good. Since we’re in the middle of a classic hits as entire strategy avalanche—Breyers, Swiffer—I want you people to understand something:

These. Songs. Sucked. The. First. Time. They. Came. Out.

Don’t believe me? Now you do.

This was a year after Van Halen’s first album people. A year.

Tags: Taco Bell

Careerbuilder basically says we don’t know what to do.

Chimps with lasers be damned! So when the USA Today Fad Meter tells you the consumer-generated spot* did okay, not great, not lousy, but just okay, who will they fire then? Okay kids, get out those Flips and start storyboarding shit! You have until July 3rd to enter your :25 sec commercial for a chance at $100,000, a trip to the Big Game Super Bowl, and oh, by the way, your spot could be the envy of all Dorito’s scoffing directors the day after. Go to Hire My TV Ad for more info.

*I’m imagining the email that floated around Careerbuilder: “Based on Dorito’s Super Bowl success last year, we still feel consumer generated commercials have value. We’ll just cover all bases and leverage brand equity with a series of regular spots around the contest winner. In case, you know, it’s a dog. Why not. Doritos did.”

IBM. Yes, we speak robot.

“What’s the window of opportunity of an opportunity?” Huh? Talk about a keyword/SEO orgy. Name a business term that isn’t in this thing. I was on a page when these rich media contextual banners popped up, looking every bit as robotic as you’ve come to expect IBM to be. So I clicked. Yikes. Maybe they’re happy with the all-bland, all the time mega-monolithic approach. This is IBM, right? The company with monster name recognition in the category before Apple and Microsoft were a glint in Gates and Jobs’ eye? That IBM? Just checking.

Thank God they still own “enterprise solution.”

Invisibility sold separately.

Consider this the action figure upfronts for 1976. Back before choking hazards forced nationwide recalls. These were real heros with real action poses! Look at the Fantastic Four’s Human Torch. Faster than the speed of light. (Uh, I think it was more like, hotter than the sun? Flame... sun... flame... sun.) Nevermind that, look at those action zooms!

PR Per Post.

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE:

In going over topics before this week’s podcast, something got floated that’s less an idea and more a solution to a problem you didn’t know you had until I pointed it out. The topic was Pay Per Tweet and how the legitimacy of content is affected because you pay for it. (A separate issue from product placement branded entertainment.)

This lead to talking about how ad blogs seem to all get the same PR releases, where it was then suggested half-jokingly, half-not, that if people are going to be paid for Tweets, then PR should pay bloggers to run those releases.

Objectivity aside—it seemed plausible enough to consider in the following context:

1) Ad blogs are not fax machines. Yet that’s exactly how PR uses them. The first goal for PR is to get their clients mentioned. So why should they be paid to do just that while ad blogs are exploited for free?

2) Ad blogs need PR releases, not the other way around. Charge, and they’ll just send releases to someone else. Maybe. Unless most of the blogs in question were on the same page with this. As for needing PR to send stuff in, others might, but I built the majority of the traffic here by finding my own material, and the posts with the most hits here never came from releases.

3) Be. Paid. I’m not saying I’d do it, but like Chris Rock said, “I understand.” One possible way to do it: Charge a flat rate to provide a link directly to the full release, and then charge a different one to write something about it.

Never happen in a million years... right?

Pay Per Pre and bankruptcy fun.

This week? We’re pretty much angry about everything. Car companies. Epic Pre spots. Pay Per Tweets. CEO bonuses and employee layoffs with mad man George Parker and Kristi Faulkner. Download the show directly here. Topics here. (Subscribe through iTunes here.) Follow us on Twitter: TheBeanCast, mtlb, Kristi.

Tags: The Beancast

Think globally, refute locally.

“Mommy, why is the King sad?”

“Because of your carbon footprint honey.”

“Global warming is baloney” doesn’t have quite the same ring as “2 Chicken sandwiches for $4,” but this recent message on several Memphis area Burger King stores gets the point across. The home office claims the signs have been taken down, but there’s always the internet to make them live on—and bloggers! Still, you have to admire how they remembered the sell with that last line:
Drive thru open 24 hours.

Next up? Local Taco Bells counter with their own signs: “Global warming is real—try our burritos and see.

Geico cavemen can’t escape who they are.

You can’t escape them either, can you. Yeah, you know the answer. Geico is about the only brand I can think of with so many voices—yet all work at the same time. They have the gecko, a holdover character that many brands would’ve rode into the ground long ago. They have the Cavemen. They have testimonials. They have money with eyes. Speaking of, you might have thought the cavemen were hibernating after their failed sitcom, but they’re back.

Their latest spots (above and Bowling here), has them using Three Doors Down’ Let Me Be Myself as a metaphor for their life. The song applies to Geico too, although at first glance you wouldn’t think so, what with all those multiple directions. Generally, characters for brands work because they either polarize audiences equally with love/hate (Cavemen, BK King), or become icons(Maytag repairman, Mr. Whipple). Whereas almost all brands have one, Geico has at least two. Credit to them and Martin for not doing what many brands do every year: Follow a USA Today Fad Meter and switch out campaigns wholesale based on the results.

While money that stares at you and animated lizards seem far apart on the advertising food chain, the common denominator lies in their effective direct response sign-off “15 minutes could save you 15%.” My unscientific study shows that based on the incoming traffic here, Cavemen still have milage too: No.1 term people type to end up here is almost always make the logo bigger. No. 2? Geico cavemen.

Bridezillas—you can’t look away!

Yes, you can. If you haven’t caught it yet, Bridezillas gives the egos in it more of what they’ve had all their lives–an even larger audience for their bullshit antics. Nobody’s ever said no to them, least of all Bravo’s producers. I’m guessing while they may play it up slightly for the cameras, they don’t look like the kind who need stirring up between scenes like guests on Springer did. Besides, who’d watch if they were actually decent humans.

*doesn’t raise hand*

The only thing the show does which I like and that I haven’t seen anywhere else is run Twitter user quotes in the trailer. (It’s only on the current spot as the screen grab shows and not on any clips on their YouTube page yet.) I’ve noticed more brands running Facebook or Twitter links in their spots lately, but I like the concept of taking that further as they did here. Connecting viewers to the show with their own quotes is a spin on simply quoting another review from a TV critic.

Problem is, the quote in the TV screen grab up top is not the actual one. This is:











(See it here on Twitter as well.) Was the original that long it needed the edit? Granted, the seven words max on a billboard copywriting approach applies when you only have two seconds to view on a TV screen, but Twitter’s 140 character limit is still well-suited for this format since people are always truncating what they write.

The other quote in the spot is from bzlvr6 and says it’s the “BRIDEZILLAS is the funniest show on TV!” It’s actually the saddest, but the real problem? The user is nowhere to be found. (Liedzillas? Score!) I’ll give it the benefit of the doubt though—kinda guy I am—and say that users sometimes delete their Twitter accounts or get them suspended for all kinds of reason, but, and like most of the women on the show, it’s a big butt, a search on Twitter doesn’t even turn up an update with that quote in it attributed to that name.

Small thing to bitch about? Sure. But if you’re a major network or brand using quotes from social networking sites in the future, you might consider asking the people quote to stick around, at least during the show’s run.

As for the grooms, good luck on your life sentence fellas. Take heart though, when she and her mother decide by the end of your 2nd anniversary that you were a mistake—and they will—you’ll get early parole. Just in time to audition for Bravo’s reality show centered around divorce called “Still friends!”

Bet they’ll even have Twitter quotes from attorneys about how much they love it.