LEAVE IMMEDIATELY!

Remember when Life Alert was only there in case you fell... and couldn’t get up? They’re so much more now! Like video surveillance.

Come again?

Touch my what? Here’s a banner ad for the T-Mobile campaign I posted about previously. I mean, granted, it’s hard for a 6’ 8” world champion coach to fit into such a tiny space, but nobody thought to have Phil maybe fold his arms at the shoot?

“And expanic people too.”

This one’s been out for a few months, but it touches on something I’ll be talking about in a new podcast coming soon. You’ve seen me write about how much I like Rhett & Link here before and their low-budget approach to sending up Hi-LARRY-ass local ad badness, but this one makes me wonder why they needed to bring race into it so heavily.

Part of what they do is find some little tidbit or insight about a company and make that the hero in their spots. And here, the company that furniture retailer Red House uses for its customer financing (MicroBilt), does pride itself on giving credit to anyone, no matter how bad their credit history.

While some retailers might consider someone’s credit score and their race when approving a purchase, there is almost no focus on credit history alone here. There’s definitely comedy to be mined there however.

R&L are the first production company or agency I can think of that pre-emptively countered potential backlash with an explanation of their approach. Large brands never do until after the shit hits the fan. Having said that and having read it, I just don’t know however that the race card did anything more than get attention for the company in this case.

So Nike moves into movies?

More Than A Game focuses on LeBron James and his high school team’s championship title run. Director Kristopher Belman was able to tag along that year with full access to the team resulting in a trailer that looks like Hoop Dreams on steroids. As evidenced by some of the camera work and visual transitions at work here, docs have definitely upped their game in the last decade or so.

But the real story to me besides LeBron is what sure looks like Nike’s foray into film, in conjunction with record label Interscope. While still a Lionsgate production, Nike is listed as a promotional partner. It’s a logical move for them.

Most of their spots already use world-class directors who make what amount to trailers for any number of sports-themed stories. This is just an extension of that dreaded phrase branded entertainment, and Nike sure looks like they nailed it—again.

For its part, Interscope gets to call on one of its top artists Mary J. Blige for the accompanying single “Stronger.” Check out the fully-integrated site with more background on the film including a theater locater for the Oct. 2 opening. (The only negative thing here is the long load time of the site though.)

I would’ve had her scream as she released the hammer, but, you know.

That’s just me. Valleywag has the next release for Mac nemesis Jon Lohansen and his company doubleTwist take on Steve Jobs ahead of some “secret” release on Oct. 6. (He last purchased outdoor space under the San Fran Apple store.) While 1984 has been parodied before, and it works here for what Jon is going for, it could’ve done without the lengthy credits though.

Rebels don’t need credits man.

Disney’s time of the month.

Long Before Serena and Tampax came this gem from Disney and Kotex. Disney just does everything with class, don’t they?

Abott invents... the Abotts.

It’s more dark silhouette madness! Look closer, I swear that’s Dick Chaney pushing Wednesday Adams while grandma is tripping out over some butterflies. Damn, is this stuff for diabetes or depression?

Well You, whatta ya think of Y!ou?

I noticed the new Yahoo! TV spot over at AdPulp and figured why not chill and say it’s actually more energetic than the dated print appeared to be. But it’s the message that David rightly focuses on.

I get “You” implies reaching out to everyone, but where it rings false is that I’m not seeing “everyone” represented up on screen. It feels like yet another agency-inspired demo where everyone is shiny and happy and 26, or emo and waif-thin.

Google has two things going for it in this regard though:

1) It just works. There was and is no doubt about its core search product. When your product is solid, the advertising just naturally flows from it. In this case, word of mouse was the only ad it needed. (Also see Apple for brands with DNA so good their advertising doesn’t have to do much.)

2) It never appealed to or defined any one type of person. It works across the board regardless of income, race or religion. Right now, a guy in his 50s in his trailer is looking up Civil War memorabilia. Teenagers are looking up how to make things that explode using simple household ingredients. Models from TV commercials are looking up how long they can safely go without eating.

It must also be a frustrating challenge for any company taking on an 800 lb. gorilla in the same category. Even more frustrating considering the gorilla started after you and has never had to use national TV to reach people, let along change perceptions of its product.

It’s also probably doubly frustrating for any agency helping them. I’m sure Yahoo!* wanted upbeat, and that’s what they got here, replete with revamped choir-like cue that seems to abandon their inner Hillbilly.

Maybe it tested well, who knows.

While I could identify with the various people in the I’m a PC spots, You doesn’t feel like me. I imagine others feel that way too, and if that’s so, then how can you expect to challenge Google if you only appeal to a fraction of their audience?

*Then there’s the issue of the Microsoft-Yahoo! partnership. Bing pushing its own little quirky ad message seems at odds with Yahoo! trying to assert itself in search. Someone’s going to have to figure out who’s on top in the relationship.

Look, before Iran launches, we’re gonna need Brad Pitt for the PSA.

Even after the Russkies invaded Cuba, American Nuclear Disaster Security Threat Planning was already hard at work. And who better to deliver the message? Real government officials? No. Actors! Not just any actor though, but Gene Hackman in a short film produced for the Office of Civil Defense/DOD discussing Community Shelter Planning. (Part 2 of the clip here.) With Iran getting itchy, I think it’s time we start casting for the update.

Unless of course you believe the National Clean Up – Paint Up – Fix Up Bureau’s clean house and nice paint job solution for nuclear attack.

Tim Burton says Happy Halloween.

Sure you’ll go broke buying one of these Tim Burton-inspired Halloween costumes, but nobody will look more bad-ass at their party.

(Via.)

Viral, not viral? The hell’s going on around here!

I’ve talked about it in the past and a few recent examples popped up to echo some of the other dynamics of viral I meantioned in my Pitch Slap post. Rereading it, I can see where it may have come off like total hatred but it really wasn’t intended that way.

At first I thought Toby Jones’ clip above was an actual ad, but it’s from a comedy troupe in Chicago called Big Dog Eat Child. (There’s another issue at work in terms of blatant stereotypes, but that’s for an upcoming podcast I have planned.)

For now, all that matters here are the views. Well over two million on that clip; a ton more on others people have reposted. Anyone would agree that this constitutes viral, no matter if it’s real or fake.

But then Matt Damon comes out with his obviously trying too hard to be real fake clip, and yet it’s climbing up the view chart just as fast as his previously “intentional” effort with Sarah Silverman.

Chalk it up to people trying to figure out if it’s real. Either way, it works because people are watching—the only thing that matters with viral. By now it’s clear it can be defined any number of ways:

– A great commercial.

– A real, unguarded moment caught on tape (Christian Bale or missing a flight).

– A well-meaning but unintentionally funny training video (Windows & Launch Party).

– Cute babies and puppies. (Which, should just have their own category because that stuff never misses.)

– Something staged, like an cool stunt, prank or act (Ray-Ban, Triumph Boats or iBand).

Whatever it is, the key is that it better grab your attention in some way, be it funny as hell, painful to watch, or making sure it comes off real, even if it’s staged.

(Another dynamic at work, tangential as it may be, is the disappointment I have when a spot like Jones’ turns out to be fake. What can I say, I like my “bad local” to be real.)

Regardless, it’s a fine line that many agency-produced efforts walk and end up crossing, mostly due to the level of the talent used because actors make all the difference. It’s really hard using the office staff as talent.

(If you’re going to do a down and dirty “local” spot, comedy teams like Rhett & Link show how it’s done.)

Granted, brands can’t live on a steady diet of low-budget viral forever. It’s just amazing how many blow it though when they do try, especially given the examples already out there showing how it’s done.

The French and an airbrushed Godin.

Godin I believe was a revivalist during the French social media period. Or not. This week’s Beancast talks about Seth’s Blogjacking Brandjacking, the French fascination with Photoshopped ads and a host of topics too numerous to mention. Joined by John Wall, Angela Natividad, and Steve Hall. Download the show directly here. (The topics are here.) You can also follow us on Twitter: TheBeanCast, mtlb, John, Angela and Steve.

Tags: The Beancast

What’s love got to do with it.

Look around enough and there’s a dating site for every niche, race and hobby, from golfers to Trekkies. A new one out even focuses on not being good at dating at all, loveinthedumps.com. As much as I would love to see a dating commercial for a Trekkie site (none available, I checked), I’ll settle for this I’m a PC spoof called I’m a Relationship Retard. (As one commentor there put it, “your use of the word retard for promotional purposes is insensitive, simple-minded and despicable.”) Yes, but so is most humor.

And most relationships.

The headlines you write here, stay here.

It only ran for two years before new slogans replaced it, but Vegas is going back to their classic What happens here, stays here tagline created by Vegas shop R&R Partners. (Juuuuust curious why someone at Vegas tourism felt the need to walk away from it in the first place. Tourism doesn’t drop off because of a slogan.) Be that as it may, everyone can now go back and have that Vegas straycation in peace.

Don’t watch television tonight, play it.

Even the ball was square, but we’d play it all night.

Bobcat Goldthwait, yeah, no, you hated him.

Yes, he was that annoying guy with the odd voice.

One of a group of comics in the ’80s and ’90s who incorporated an odd delivery along with the likes of Rita Rudner, Steven Wright, Gilbert Gottfried and Emo Philips. (Sam Kinison being the transitional phase to Bill Hicks, the next gen bringing insights sans odd voice. Dave Altel now holding down the understated fort with the likes of Dave Chappelle and Sarah Silverman.)

Not that this is an ode to Bobcat, but hear me out. I heard a recent podcast with him on The Treatment, where he talks about directing his second indie film to have shown at Sundance.

And he’s normal.

Everything you or I may have hated about him, he hated too. The voice based on Grover from Sesame Street? Who knew.

But more than that, he breaks down the much of what he was trying to do, which parallels how Andy Kaufman worked an audience, almost to the point of uncomfortableness.

That’s the dark comedy side of things he goes for.

Other things you have to like about the guy are the way his daughter sticks up for him or trying to get his nickname listed in the Internet Movie Database, but they won’t let him. (It’s a childhood name.)

You keep listening waiting for him to go into character even though it doesn’t happen. Instead, you end up wondering why you hated him so much.

MTV, please, just rebrand and get it over with.

Tim has a post on MTV which spurred a thought. Much as I hate the current rebranding epidemic, it’s way past time for them to change their name. Obviously they stopped being just music a long time ago. Pick a reason.

The ascendency of digital music and filing sharing as a means of spreading the word on new bands? As good as any. Regardless, people just don’t need MTV to break music for them the way they once did. Music videos? Don’t need them for that either.

Whatever its past, it’s clear they aren’t the same network they once were. Yet they still cling to that music legacy. Other cable channels have since rebranded like Syfi and truTV, formerly Court TV. Two moves though that I really question the need for.

But not MTV. Much as I love reality shows like Gs To Gents or Pranked, They’re in denial. Call it RTV for all the reality shows they have, whatever. But the connection to music is hanging on by a VMA thread.

Or is just me?

SAUSAGE LOVERS, CALL THE HAMMER BEFORE YOU GET NAILED.

Lowell says forget the spokesman, he’ll get you the money you deserve. Look at that snarl. Can’t you just smell the disdain Lowell has for insurance companies? Of course you can. When it comes to making sausage and non-stop camera zooms using mixed metaphors? He’s your heavy-lifting guy!

(Via anon.)

Optimum WiFi spot inadvertently shows new GM work.

Not really, but watch the spot for the ludicrous idea of creative being reviewed on the way to the, wait, that’s not so far-fetched. Okay so maybe the part where they upload the file after making the change in the, no wait, I’ve done that too. ALRIGHT THEN. Just watch it for the client part and tell me that’s not something GM has done/are doing/will do for their new campaign?

Yeah, you know the answer.

Imma let you finish your term, but first lemme go get my fine point.

Saw this at the town train station. A station with working ticket machines, a clerk inside, a Starbucks and pizza parlor next door. (That’s hardcore.) Is this a little post-2008 election night revelry perhaps? I think it’s something more sinister. With their Crips-Bloods color scheme, it was only a matter of time before the Democrat-Republican party turf war escalated. That’s how we roll in the gold coast yo.

Wesport, you bitches are next.

Because a public bug plan is not an option.

Hey, how many times have I told you, if you see something, say something. The government wants you to remain vigilant in times like these. Northeast citizens should be on the lookout for any suspicious Asian longhorned beetles congregating near public buildings or mass transportation locations.

What the...?

(NSFW.) Get ready for the Scott Baio meme. (Via.)

Where the wild movie costumes are.

Andy Warhol luggage. (Via.)

Werewolf cupcakes.

Tan disasters.

The terrible truth about dope addicts.

(Image via.)

When life gives you spam...

Make spam buttons. What else can you do with Pounding Sweet Ess excpet donate the proceeds from button sales to charity. It’s a win-win, you Hard Ess Slapping people!

Why. Didn’t. I. Think. Of...

(Via.)

But wait, there’s more.

- Billy Mays here for WHOA.
- They doth protest too much. But their signs sure are funny. (Via.)
- I’ll have the Windows 7 platter, s'il vous plaît.
- Don’t worry, it happens to every fabric softener.
- Sometimes, all you need is a dream.
- WTF is Bruce Willis doing in this Japanses Subaru commercial?
- Happy Endings Design, may I help you?
- Out of sight, out of meme.
- Will work for jobs.
- Yay Dallas food & hospitality industry!
- BoA DOA.
- Nike Manchester United 8-bit animated madness.
- Clinging to our mantles and ads.
- Help the kids out. Be an instant ad legend.
- Go tell the FDA what’s wrong with pharma. (Details here.)
- Drug kingpins are people too.
- It’s all about the Furry Puppets.
- If it’s been trademarked, it’s here.
- Twitter scraps.
- The biking video Nike shoulda put their logo on.

That damn little Redbox.

With my local Hollywood Video closing, I started using Redbox. I had Netflix, Blockbuster and Netflix accounts and now I watch things online at Hulu, etc. I couldn’t resist, I just couldn’t. I HAD TO TRY THE RED BOX. Insert card. Select. Go. THE SHIT’S FAST, PEOPLE. They’re doing exactly what I though Walmart would’ve done with the market, charging a buck a movie (in some cases, getting a credit for a free one). But, unlike Walmart, these damn things are everywhere now. Supermarkets. Gas stations.

Basically, our city had two video rental chains, Blockbuster and a soon to be closed Hollywood Video. Redbox takes the single store idea and breaks it down into separate locations that cover a wider area. Less titles than the chains? Yes, for now. But they also have less lines. And less fees. Starting with 12 units five years ago, Redbox will have 22,000 units by December. 22,000 in five years. They process 80 videos a second on a weekend night. I don’t care what business you’re in, that’s serious growth.

Sure beats waiting in line at Hollywood.

Red Robin releases your inner goombah.

You lookin at Red Robin? Fuggedaboutit. So I’m there at Red Robin releasing my inner goombah, and stereotypes aside, noticed the spelling on a table card. Tell me if I’m the one who’s off here, but wanna “a” Pisa? Generally, “wanna” = want a or want to, negating the need for any other article, no? (Yeah, no, you know the answer.)

Fictitious inspirational wisdom.

A man can always use more alcohol, tobacco and firearms.

Pitch Slap.

Time to dust off the topic of PR again, and to a lesser degree, branded entertainment and online marketing.

So I get a lot of things sent in, sometimes making it hard to go through it all. Nowhere the volume AdRants gets, but, enough to see how PR approaches things in trying to get the word out. Basically, nothing’s changed from when I first started blogging. For the most part, PR still treats ad blogs like fax machines.

I understand the job is to get the word out for clients, but, it seems that’s all that counts.

Get the views. Get the mentions. Job done. Let’s go drink, right?

Meanwhile, a nice Excel doc or Radian6 report is sent to the client saying how many views a video got across all the relevant social networks. (In this regard, Danny G. has an nice take on what this use of tactics has become.)

After getting the new Hot Pockets Eat Freely campaign sent in, it made me think how so many brands are now just using the various aspects of social nets as a delivery system for their message without doing something that truly engages the viewer.

Me watching a clip is not engaging. It’s me watching a clip.

Don’t even get me started on sales. Too often, the lack of any direct response mechanism in spots is accepted because advertising is meant to sell anything.

Least that’s what I hear every single time a hipster bitches that an ad blog didn’t like the latest jeans ad shot in B&W.

But that advertising mindset is now carrying over to social nets.

Who cares about effective in terms of sales—it’s about building awareness, right? True. In large part it is.

But at some point, it needs to convert to sales or at least relate directly to some kind of offer to get people buying and trying, no?

(T.G.I. Friday’s nailed their Woody promotion, reaching twice the participants they originally aimed for.)

It seems like I veered off the path, but the point relates back to a call for PR agencies to run social media campaigns. I just have to say really? Based on what?

This isn’t just about Hot Pockets, but if the kind of effort I’m seeing with the majority of campaigns is what PR shops come up with, then they’re the last ones to be touching a brand. There are more than enough brand mishap slash case studies where PR was responsible.

Based on what gets sent in here, PR has enough trouble remembering the name of the blog (if they even include it), my name, or that they already sent me the same release the week before.

I’m not putting down all PR efforts. (As noted here before, Len Kendall has a cool approach to social outreach and PR with his 3six5 project that shows the ways things can evolve here.)

I’m also not trying to put down any particular campaign or agency behind it. The idea behind Eat Freely is fine. And if you want a basic review of the program elements supporting that theme, then there you go.

(Which is another thing about PR and ad blogs: Sending the same thing to all the blogs at the same time expecting positive coverage.)

But when I get stuff labeled as branded entertainment that’s basically webisode product placement that wouldn’t make the cut at collegehumor.com, something needs to change.

Part of any social networking component or buzz evaluation for me always starts not with what the client wants me to say about their brand, but with what’s out there already.

I have no doubt Hot Pockets likes what they see in this campaign. The clips support the Eat Freely theme the agency came up with, but it feels like a disconnect when I see forced viral support a theme at odds with something already out there in YouTube land.

We’ve discussed this before on the podcast about this need agencies have historically to create a way for people to feel about a brand. They research. Find a way in as to how consumers use a product, then create a theme to support that.

That’s fine. But what Danny points out is that that’s not enough.

Which is a long way of saying that Jim Gaffigan has a ton of views off a 4:00 minute routine about Hot Pockets that riffs on the tagline slash song. It’s the only thing I can think off when someone says Hot Pockets now.

How do you not use some of that buzz with your brand? Get people to do their own takes on his awful singing. Why not pay him to do a series of webisodes where he wanders through random offices handing Hot Pockets out.

(Wouldn’t be any more blatant than a product box on someone’s desk trying to awkwardly support an agency-created theme.)

At the end of the day though, nobody from the brand or agency will care about this post beyond the fact that I linked to their clip and website, thus gaining them and the agency more views for the post-game deck.

Because any PR is...

Oh look, a bloody guy in a PSA.

Yet another piece submitted by anonymous gmail account by someone running PR for the agency. Lest I run the email as is, you expect more from me. So, this “amazing” hard-hitting (OUCH, YOU GET IT?) spot for the UK’s National Health Service is aimed at, doh, smokers. But lost behind all the Snatch-Lite™ photography is that this thing misses its point. It’s as if all PSAs for health risks only go for shock value at the expense of the underlying intent of the message.

Like cancer, heart disease, etc., smoking is something that accumulates over time, not all at once. The spot may be bloody and get your attention, but so what? Seriously, if you want to shock, shock. But the message better be right.

“Neil! Neil! What was it like to lead such a dramatic moonlanding?”

“Well, it was a total team effort today Suzy.”

The only thing worse than Mike and Mike* talking over each other in last week’s Monday Night Football broadcast was and still is, the producers’ love of a sideline interview, either at halftime or at the end of a game. This week’s Colts’ game wasn’t too bad; at least Peyton Manning stopped long enough to answer Suzy Kolber’s cut and paste weekly “How’d it feel to...” question. But the Bills-Pats with Tom Brady, not so much.

All I can say is, Neil Armstong did it right, mister. No press allowed on the playing field. Of course, it was the surface of moon, but, you get the point. And he did it with a mic that wasn’t obnoxiously huge either. Have you seen the tennis balls these dudes speak into now? It’s indoors people—it doesn’t need the afro-sized windscreen on it.

Wasn’t space age technology supposed to deliver us from this?

*Golic I like.

They say good viral just happens.

And sometimes it just falls into your lap. Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you How To Throw A Windows 7 Launch Party. Oh sure, it’s not as amazing as a launch party for Mad Men or Lost, but it could be, provided you have the right nachos.

Be gentle, won’t you?

(Let the parody begin, Via.)

(Via PhillyBikeBoy, who just hit all-time MTLB greatness with this submission.)

Yahoo says it’s You.

I should just cut and paste the AOL rebranding story.

So, Yet Another Hierarchical Officious Oracle* (Yahoo) rolled out their new campaign, putting the Eww in You? I KID. As you read the background on the new campaign, they don’t have plans to get rid of the “Yahoo!” shout, just “dust it off a bit” and freshen it up. They haven’t really improved their core product beyond improved search features. The main message here seems to be telling people they own the net.

Am I right? Because if I’m missing anything, lemmee know.

Regarding search, improvements are nice, but why steal Bing’s thunder? (Bing has increased its share of search to 9.3% up from 8% of the market while Yahoo has 19.3% to Google’s 64%.)

Regarding the message: Don’t people already “own” the net? Haven’t we all been running around self-empowering ourselves? (Ouch.) Granted, internet years don’t compare to any other category, but refreshing old icons works better when the brand has some heritage behind it, not the 15 Yahoo has under its belt since launching in 1994.

As for the Yee-HAW, I guess the devs were too busy pushing envelopes way back when to notice the Hillbilly quality to the battle cry may have been off in the first place. (As it is, they don’t seem to be addressing special cousin Flickr and its unintuitive, Facebook-like user experience.)

The use of the exclamation point already has some mileage on it courtesy of E! and feels forced with the you graphically.

The main imagery? Feels perfectly fine. 10 years ago. In Kohl’s. I haven’t seen the TV yet but I imagine XM covered off this theme better a few years ago too. Everyday people are nice, don’t get me wrong—I’m one you know—but it’s also nice to have Bowie on your side when you’re starting a pop culture revolution.

No time to get cheap and rely on stock photos: Get some celebrities on your side. That’s not just PR talking. If your position here is that the net belongs to the people, it isn’t taking into account the migration happening from TV to the net and how celebs have gotten over the perceived stigma of appearing online.

Yahoo’s problem goes beyond colorful backgrounds in my expert opinion. It’s the core problem any brand needs to address:

What are we?

Right now, they need to ask themselves that same basic question: “Are we search or former web portal turned cultural destination and community?”

Regardless of what bloggers say though, the brand will convince itself that the negative buzz already popping up is a mirage, like GM believes.

*Yes, that’s the actual meaning behind the acronym.

Is that a contribute button or are you just glad to see me.

Damn that’s a big button. I like Dan. We have this arrangement. He’d send me emails about his CT campaign for a “possible” run for governor (even though I didn’t live here then), and I’d read them. It was a simple arrangement. But then he started asking for money, and I felt dirty. Like today. I got another danmail. While 2010 is just around the corner—politically speaking—and while I like Dan, I’ll say it again: Duh-AMN, that’s a big call to action* CLICK HERE NOW button from hell, innit.

I’m sure he’s a nice guy, well, as sure as I can be from looking at his website, but you just have to love a politician who determines whether they’ll run based not on the needs of the people but if they have enough in the bank.

*Shown at actual size people. Clicking won’t help make it bigger because it CAN’T GET ANY BIGGER.

A cool spot that you wish wasn’t.

At first I thought History of Communication was a cool little tale: How we got to where we are today in terms of the technology used to talk to others. Turns out it’s for carphonewarehouse.com. You feel sort of disappointed, as if that funky animation sequence and explanation of technological advances was a story bigger than any one brand. It’s too good to simply be “owned” by an electronics retailer. The brand at the end not only failed to connect, but it intruded on my enjoyment of the story in a way that made me almost resent them.

That’s the challenge of ads. To entertain and connect, but connect in a way that makes sense for the brand. This easily could be a Best Buy, or Sprint or a... ya see whatta mean? Still, a cool clip. Just wished it hadn’t overreached.

(Via.)

Man, I did love this logo though.

There was just something about the Pan Am logo that was both Jetsons retro and 2001 futuristic, what with the badass Orion. Maybe it was the font that blew left to right. Whatever it was, at least the logo lasted longer than the brand. See more of the greats at Logo R.I.P.

Doors not included.

The opening kind as well as the band with psychedelic wallpaper. This is totally messing with me right now. (Via C-Monster.)

AOL plans to, wait for it... rebrand.

Yep. Forget Swine flu, rebranding will affect more people this year* including AOL. Cue target-rich marketing speak environment:

“The New York company has decided to keep its iconic yellow running man. The image is a powerful one that consumers associate with AOL, says Bill Wilson, the company's president of media. As part of its rebranding push, the company is seeking a new CMO.”

Again, one more company looking to branding to bail them out.

In this case, it’s not even negative PR that they have to overcome, rather, they need to be relevant again. No, AOL Chat ain’t enough. They need to offer something people really need and want.

As a brand that helped usher in the online community portal—and flood your mail with beautiful CD wall art—they are in effect the last brand from the first dot com era to survive intact today.

Unless they focus on giving people a new experience they can’t get anywhere else, they’re over before they begin. They’ve also been eclipsed in two other areas they once ruled: Email and instant messaging. There are just too many alternatives for people now to say they need AOL the way they once did.

The change they need to win back people requires a level of innovation that built the company in the first place. Steve Jobs has engineered it into Apple. Others like Google, Amazon and Twitter all have it too. They also have leadership that has essentially remained intact.

But when you have a change at the top as you have with AOL, it’s difficult to maintain consistency. As such, I think what happens here though is that they just throw on a fresh coat of paint and run new TV spots. (Even though rebranding typically means new artwork—not hanging onto existing icons—that little guy will be on everything.)

Saving the best for last however: Hiring a new director of marketing after you rebrand.

Yep. Makes sense to me.

*Save your emails. I know the only thing killed by rebranding is good taste.

It ends up in the dump, right? Sorta.

Box Vox takes a look at researchers who put electronic tracking devices inside select items of trash to see where they go once they leave your house. Interesting project that shows how easy it is to forget about the things you get rid of.

It’s like that move fellow motorcyclists do when passing each other.

Only, with gang signs. Subaru has a series of spots running with each featuring a different aspect of the car, things like performance, handling abilities and styling. This latest one above called AWD For Life also has what the rest of the series has: Yet another boring owner musing on his precious, then representing yo. (Not, Silence of the Lambs Precious either.) Amazing that this is the same brand with two insane videos showing true performance.

Whining about wine and loser-generated Mommy bloggers.

More marketing madness as we pretty much beat crowdsourcing and Unilever to a pulp. Enjoy the fun with Ad Age editor Jonah Bloom, Joe Jaffe and Kristi Faulkner. One of the topics covered was Google’s Fast Flip and its effect on affiliate networks. Sexy? No, but what I saw looking at the site is a way to browse news visually similar to what the New York Times did with their revamped grid slash news aggregating approach.

If and when touch screen technology catches up to the point we all have it, you can see how turning the page by dragging your hand across the screen is the same motion as turning the page of a newspaper. (Emily Chang has a more in-depth look at this browsable grid approach to visualizing news.)

Download the show directly here. Topics here. Follow us on Twitter: TheBeanCast, mtlb, Kristi, Jaffe and Jonah.

Tags: The Beancast

Animal rights group puts its own little spin on the touchdown club.

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Whenever Michael Vick gets tackled in a Monday Night Football game Oct. 26 vs. the Redskins, Main Line Animal Rescue will donate five bags of dog food. Awww. (You’d think they could double down and donate something to a Native Amercian charity, but, maybe later.) Credit though to Main Line. Until now, who outside Philly knew the group existed? Check out some of their other work here. (No confirmation yet however on whether Burger King is offering free chicken sandwiches for every TD he throws.)

Jamie Lee for Activia. True lies?

(See, she was in a movie with Arnold. It was called True Lies.) So ennyway, Dannon settled a false advertising suit where it claimed Jamie’s favorite yogurt did more than it, um, does. Rather than drag this sordid affair through the courts for 10 years, because, you know, that would be too expensive, they instead agreed to set up a $35 million refund fund for anyone emotionally scarred by this trauma. Oh, and they have to also change the wording on Activia’s packaging and in ads.

I‘m cool with that. Now, can someone please go after Sally Field? Something must be up there. I just don’t like the way she says “Boniva.”

Smell like the vault, and Steve Nash.

It’s high-LARRY-tee in an infomercial Web .5 spoof from Vitaminwater and Steve Nash. Is it a little forced? Sure, but he’s Steve Nash. His job is hoops, not hoopla!

(Via, via.)

You knew they had a logo, right?

Logo? I didn’t even know there was a U.S. Pole Dance Federation, let alone a championship. Ironically, I don’t cover much in the way of logos here, but when I do! At least the tagline didn’t use the word energy, future or life. NOT that I think it’s an easy thing, you know, to work the pole, but I’m just not ready to sign a petition in support of one fan’s call to make it an Olympic event. Granted, it could be a Winter or Summer Games thing, and figure skaters and synchronized swimmers do incorporate classical music into their routines all the time. There’s just something wrong about pole dancing to Swan Lake (replete with tutu and snickers from the audience).

Maybe we’ll be more open-minded in 2016.

(Via.)

NOW’S THE TIME WHEN WE DANCE — AND REVIEW PRODUCT EMOTIONS

Dieter on Sprockets was right. There is something about the glee expressed by audience and host alike at robotic gyrations. Or maybe it’s the closeups and forced uncomfortableness of said children. Kinderkreis is a German TV show that asks kids how they feel about a certain product, followed by dancers in colorful unitards then having to interpret that emotion. You call it wtf—I call it branded entertainment genius!

(Via luckthelady.)

What the...?

Man-eating Pit. (Via.)

Marty Feldman Young Frankenstein Mexican TV interview.

Human Slinky.

11 pointless celebrity products.

Porn backgrounds.

David Prowse traffic safety PSA.

(Image via.)

Finally, order restored to the WWE as McMahon returns!

And here I thought moving back to civilization meant the end of stories like this. Wrong. Flipping through the channels last night and all I heard on the local news was this: “McMahon running for Senate.” WHOA. Awesome. Fuck civility. Now we’re gonna have metal chair fights on the floor to decide deadlocked votes.

Not so fast.

The McMahon running against Christopher Dodd is Vince’s wife Linda. But that’s okay. This means that Vince can once again take the reigns as CEO of the WWE. And not a moment too soon. Why? Well, I’m not really sure. I haven’t followed wrestling in a long time, even though I did interview once for a CD gig at WWE headquarters. (Surreal? Oh, you have no idea.)

But, someone must have been up to no good in the ranks, right? It’s wrestling! Next to the Late Guiding Light, there’s no greater American Soap opera. Except maybe politics.

Everyone afraid of Sarah Palin’s He-Man in the White House should consider that if Linda wins, guess who’s a few steps away now...

You lied. (Wait. What? We lied? Oh.)

THE AD THEY WANT YOU TO SEE. Or something like that. CNN responded to a Fox News ad touting the fair and balanced network’s coverage of recent teabagging parties as being the only major media at these fun-filled family events. Only, they weren’t. (See the spot CNN wants you to see here.) Now that I think of it though, we could use a third party in this country pulling something over the eyes of the American public. Why not The Teabag Party? We’ll just need an animal to use as a mascot for the logo.

Least both sides are keeping thing interesting on the way to 2012.

FUEL or FAIL—Wheaties *gasps* rebrands.

[UPDATE: Wheaties FUEL Twitter bot/intern let me and a bunch of other people know that this was not a rebranding, rather, an addition to original Wheaties. This probably should be made a little more obvious in the marketing instead of one line in a New York Times’ press release article. All the things I commented on below still make sense in the context of a new product launch, however, it still seems like a line extension here will cannibalize the core product’s audience.]

Aka, the taste of win. Speaking of: Fuel. Win. Evolve. YEAH! Gladiator action taglines unite! I saw this over on BrandflakesForBreakfast, and Darryl’s perfect Man Cereal title notwithstanding, can’t help but wonder if this is a Gatorade “G” in the making. While the site lists the reason they want to “evolve” the brand, there’s something to be said for consistency, of being able to count on a brand over time.

But something else seems to be at work.

It’s as if the marketing directors at major brands are toying with rebranding makeovers more frequently, and specifically, microtargeting or segmenting certain demos out of their broader audience.

Here, it’s obvious they’re going after athletes who identify with a high-performance message. There’s a series of videos put out by Saatchi & Saatchi that feature top athletes discussing the formula with Dr. John Ivy from Wheaties.

But this is what G thou..., sorry, Gatorade thought too. Slumping sales? Change out the box. And before that, Tropicana when it evolved its look to be something more contemporary. At least what they perceived it should be.

Both moves subsequently turning out to be fails.

That’s not saying this won’t work. If it fails, it won’t be because they didn’t spend the money. They’re blowing this out across every possible media channel with the top athletes in their respective sports. Oh, and even a Facebook page.

It’s worth noting though that many brands have certain demos using their products that they might prefer to downplay an association with, let alone deciding to change their core product’s formula as Wheaties has done here.

(Range Rover and Timberland have an urban demo that is definitely missing from their general mass media advertising.)

In this case, the brands will take the bump in sales they get, even if it’s from demos clearly at odds with respectively, the elitist world traveler driving over through the peasants in exotic locales or construction workers.

I know moms used to do the shopping, but walking away from 40% of your market in favor of focusing on the other 60% who they claim are male athletes is what they’re gambling on.

There was this All-American simplicity to having a single athlete on the cover, someone who had earned the right to be there, much like a winning Super Bowl quarterback heading off to Disneyland or little chocolate donut-loving track & field champion.

Don’t get me wrong. I love the new, sleek look—for a video game title. I suppose kids will too. But a brand making revolutionary changes under the guise of evolving the brand needs to consider walking away from the heritage of their formula, name and look all at once.

Overheard internet.

Because internet comments are cool, honest and sad. Bringing you the net’s unedited B-roll, straight to your monitor:

“FUCK WOODY I AINT GOT NO BURGER ”
– Sam Schmidt

“You can’t ‘decree’ a question... let alone two. Also, the question you should be asking is 'why do so many tunes from Antenna feature parts that are lifted, almost verbatim, from Radiohead songs?' Oh, and Hypothermia isn't nearly good enough to warrant nostalgia. Those things, I would decree (were I retarded).”
– multard

“I wish I could hate you to death.”
– UnholyBurgerr

“This treads that fine, fine line between genius and… whatever it is that’s the opposite of genius. (Fred Durst, maybe?)”
– Quadell (NSFW)

“All that focusing isn’t a good idea if you're in a hall of mirrors.”
– BadUncle

“I found the commercial funny, but halfway through I was thinking “Wow, those are some good prices.”
– Eggyman101

Because people don’t get tired of costumes.

Who doesn’t love them? Not Prius, Bacardi, Cablevision’s iO, Jimmie Dean or the leader of the pack... Fruit of the Loom. When in doubt, throw a costume on it.

You too can star in a Farmers Insurance spot.

Good thing they didn’t lay it on too thick. Or maybe you need more of the story. No problem. Farmers’ has you covered there, too. Of course, it’s nowhere NEAR as blatant a plug as Donnie Wahlberg’s New Kids On The Block Reunion Tour and new CD along with(then) new film Righteous Kill plug, is it?

When you put one on, something happened.

Chicks dug Members only. Remember that. Oh, and pointing.

Best of all, it was a Sears.

Just don’t look too close. Why, with such stunning graphics, I’m surprised they didn’t last.

Bee wranglers suspend laptop along with your disbelief.

My favorite part though besides the viewer comment below, is where one dude goes “And for all you haters.” Translation: For all the ad blogs who will tear this shit apart. See, the idea is fun and even cool.

“this video like a million other videos show the creativity of the agency. Technically !!!! it may not be possible but the execution makes us believe so, for which the credit has to be given. This video explains the basic of portables, light weight !!! . Its not rocket science”

But the one thing that ruins and undermines most agency-produced viral though are hack scripts and voiceovers, as if we needed to be convinced that this is actually happening. Actually!

*said in mockingly mock amazement*

It seems like a minor point, but you need to keep it simple, keep it about the “What if...?” moment. That’s the business we’re in obviously, but stop forcing it with bad acting or brand points.

Here, why not end with “Could happen,” which then plays up the idea of thinking what can happen with the Thinkpad. But then again, this could be a good viral for Aquabond. Problem is, you’re not sure.

At some point when agencies grasp the idea of transparency—or when they’re required to—they’ll list credits and not try to come off like another loser generating content that talks down to viewers. They’ll still follow even if they know who made it.

Yes, people will watch this, and maybe they’ll even watch again to see where the fake parts by design are. The agency then pats itself on the back that it got major views (hello seeding).

But why can’t viral do something cool that also respects the user?

(Via Adrants.)

“The new class of world class.”

It’s Buick’s new tagline, and with it, I think we’ve rounded the corner. I really do.

The Washington Redsk... eh, not so fast.

A group of Native Americans is challenging the Washington Redskins to change their name. They’ve been trying since 1992 and, yeah, well, it is an offensive name. Assuming they win their case, we’re gonna need a new name. Maybe shorten it to the Washington Reds? Nah, communists will be offended. Washington Skins? The hairless will march. Wow, this IS tough. Crowdsourcing! What sayeth you logo nation?

“Imma let you finish interrupting this couple...”

You know, that Charlie Murphy fella sings better than his brother.

While the character is Leroy Smith in this Nike music video, I can’t help hearing “CHOLLY MURPHY!” whenever I see him. Get your spandex on via Kiss My Black Ads.

A simple idea for Dell.

So I have a Dell laptop that needs to go back to Best Buy for repair. It got dropped a week after purchasing. (Relax, that’s not my laptop.) I’d bought insurance to cover accidental drops, so a Geek Squad tech at the local Best Buy said they can fix it—but it will take two weeks to send out and get back.

Here’s the problem with that: Who in this day and age can afford to be without a laptop or computer for two weeks?

The obvious solution here: Provide loaner or rental laptops while it’s “in the shop.”

I don’t want to hear about how they could get damaged or someone will steal them. That’s what insurance is for and that’s what a LoJack in the unit is for.

I don’t need to hear reasons why this can’t be done—why not just find a way to try it.

(Besides, I‘m pretty sure that the vast majority of people who bring equipment in for repair to the Geek Squad are legit and not out to resell stolen equipment somewhere.)

Dell would be the first in the industry to offer this, thereby building even more brand loyalty among users.

Car rental places don’t seem to have problem doing this either—they just charge your credit card with a security deposit. As for the unit itself, I could care less what model it is or the condition of it, I just need to be up and running. Bundle it with standard apps like Microsoft Office and the usual web browsers, nothing fancy.

This makes sense, no?

#geeksquad #richardatdell #bestbuy #twelpforce

(Image.)