Why work doesn’t work anymore.

While you’re at work today working on work you couldn’t get to during the work week, take a few minutes and watch this. You may not be able to incorporate this process into your place, but you will absolutely identify with the problem. (From AdPulp.)

Then there’s this...

Apple iPod—made for kids by kids? Apparently. Apple reports that a few of their overseas vendors were using underage workers to assemble some of America’s favorite tech goodies. But wait, there’s more. Some of the suppliers also paid less than the minimum wage and even cut out some benefits.

Now accepting voiceover duty on behalf of Jeff Bridges... Rather than ruin Jeff Bridges’ moment in the sun during the Oscars—and to keep in line with Academy regulations regarding ads featuring nominees—automaker Hyundai has instead decided to run all their spots with the voices of other actors instead.

Why you drink more. Because ads tell you to drink less. So goes the thinking behind a new Indiana University Kelley School of Business study. It claims industry efforts to promote responsible drinking may actually reinforce existing feelings of guilt and shame among the very audience it addresses.

The gay ad Hyundai doesn’t want you to see?

At least here in the U.S.? Chris on The Auto Marketing Blog found this spot running during the Olympics, but apparently only in Canada. It’s part of a series of lifestyle scenarios called Smart is in, created by former agency Bensimon Byrne. From hetero date to family date to this one with... lipstick lesbian theme? (They’re on the BB site under current creative > Hyundai.)

As Mancrunch and gay near-miss Snickers showed, the spot, tame as it is, wouldn’t run here, even though it could, because we just ain’t there yet. It doesn’t show any physical contact—it just implies a *potential* future relationship. Last time I checked, that was still legal here, ammirite?

The deeper issue here for brands and the LGBT community is obviously homophobia. The secondary message is that while brands may cater to *certain* demos on the side—said LGBT community—they’re fearful of losing the dollars the demo will spend. Still, it’s clear brands don’t want the demo anywhere in their mainstream advertising—or anywhere near their mainstream advertising audience.

The proof is in the absence, because look around. It’s ironic that mainstream TV has become very open about the issue now, from Bravo to Will & Grace to whatever show you want, while the advertising revenue that drives shows is still very much afraid to come out.

That’s not to say the product has to be shown being used in a gay way (cue pink iPhones sashaying down Broadway!) It’s about a LGBT community which doesn’t want to be treated any differently when it comes to the brands they use. It’s about whether or not they’re represented in the discussion at all.

It’s tricky when any group tries for mainstream acceptance though, to be like everyone else when it comes to being marketed to, but then has to stand out to just get a seat at the table in the first place. Smart may be in, but acceptance sure continues to have its problems.

Whatcha gonna do when you need a plasma dud..., er, brother?

For those distrought over Gatorade dropping Tiger Woods, relax. Rent-A-Center signed The Hulkster™ and Troy Aikman for their latest spot, thus restoring order to the endorsement universe. Yes, Hulk looks shorter, but both “dudes” are 6’ 4”. Of course, if you need your Hulkster more cheesy, there’s this.

"Hello, my ex just got scared off by the alarm he knew I had."

“We’re sending someone right over ma’am.” Another fear-mongering gem from Brinks, er, Broadview Security. Picking up where mother & daughter left off, waiting for help in their panic roomless house, we find another ree-dick-yule-us scenario where said intruder is immediately scared off upon hearing what suburbanites hear hourly in Disturbia. (Especially effective after a house party and workout session.) Credit though to Broadview for losing the black hoodie attire here, at least! This one though just hit me the wrong way, especially after hearing this week about another useless protective order.* If someone wants in to do harm? They’re in. No false sense of security will stop them, nor will standing four feet away from them on the phone with Rick while he sends Paul Blart to the rescue.**

*Martha Stewart bracelets for anyone with an order of protection. If Applebee’s can page me with a giant vibrating coaster when my table’s ready, doesn’t a woman afraid for her safety deserve the same advanced warning when an ex- is close?

**Don’t most people grab their cell now?

The Windshield Wonder works on everything.

Even mesmerized small children. People, I give you :46-:48.

"Hi, welcome to chat support hell—may I help you?"

Don’t even start on why I still have an Earthlink account. Multiple email addresses sent out to clients and such over the years, etc. Look, I’m in the process of switching it all over to gmail, so get off my back. In the meantime, Earthlink will not go quietly, having just erased all my online contacts, among other things. Below is the chat session from when my account got nuked the other day. Yes, it reads like me being an a-hole more than anything, but, it’s been a long ugly road with them.

HAVE PITY.

While not a Kevin Smith-worthy nightmare, it shows again that the last line of defense for a brand is it’s customer service. You can employ all the social media monitoring and metrics you want, or talk about how consumer sentiment is measured by how many times “(brand x) sucks” shows up on Twitter, but it still doesn’t mean you’re really listening to what people are saying. What else matters, ammirite? My safe word below: “email.” Why? Because the rep gave an answer to a question I didn’t ask. It’s a small thing, sure. But, that’s why I blog: To embellish minor incidents into marketing fodder.

Enjoy!
_________________________________________

Welcome to Earthlink LiveChat. Your chat session will begin in approximately 0 minutes. Feel free to begin typing your question.

Rep 1: Thank you for contacting EarthLink LiveChat, how may I help you today?

me: Yes, where can I send an email to to complain about service issues?

Rep 1: If you wish to Escalate something or if you have any issues and concerns you can write to below address:

Rep 1: CORPORATE HEADQUATERS ADDRESS FOR:

Rep 1: EARTHLINK: Address 1375 Peachtree St., Level A Atlanta, GA 30309. Office Hours 8:30 a.m.-5:30 p.m.ET, Monday-Friday.

(Breathes deep before responding.)

me: email

Rep 1: I am sorry there is no E-mail address where you can send us an e-mail.

me: lol. thanks. bye.

(That was the “At the risk of coming off as an asshole” part.)

Rep 1: However may I know what the issue is so that I can try my best to assist you in any way I can.

me: I pay $10 a month and my blocked sender list is now deleted. Nothing saves. My contact list list won't upload. And the one service that worked, (the tools), is now PC only. If you can help with that, you saved a customer.

(2-min pause, at least.)

Rep 1: As I understand you have Technical issues with your EarthLink service.

me: A few, yes.

Rep 1: Okay.

Rep 1: To best assist you, you need to chat with a DSL Technical Support Representative. Please stay connected while I transfer the chat.

Rep 1: I am sorry for the typo error.

Rep 1: To best assist you, you need to chat with a Technical Support Representative. Please stay connected while I transfer the chat.

Please wait while I transfer the chat to the appropriate agent.

(Pause. New rep comes on.)

Rep 2 says: Thank you for contacting EarthLink LiveChat, how may I help you today?

me: See above

(This now the “At the risk of coming off as a frustrated asshole” part.)

Rep 2: I see you've already been chatting. Please give me a moment so I can read the previous chat and pick up where you left off.

me: okay

Rep 2: Thank you for staying online.

Rep 2: Okay. Please provide me with the password for your EarthLink email address so that I can duplicate this issue at my end.

(Pause, me.)

Rep 2: Not to rush you, but I haven't had a response from you. Are we still connected?

(‘Not to rush’ me, which, she does several times throughout yet is still half the amount of time I had to wait on Rep 1 above.)

Rep 2: I do not mean to rush you, I am waiting for your response.

me: sorry

me: *************

me: is password

Rep 2: Please give me two minutes while I check this for you.

(I retype password because of typo.)

me: *************

me: brb

(I now leave for two minutes. Fucking dog had to go out, what’s a blogger to do?)

Rep 2: Thank you for staying online.

Rep 2: I am able to add address in your address book.

Rep 2: There is no issue in your Web Mail.

Rep 2: I do not mean to rush you, I am waiting for your response.

(Pause, me back now.)

me: yes

me: that is not what my problem was though.

me: All the domains in my blocked list, some two hundred, areg one

me: are

me: my contact list has 17 names when there should be over 1,200

Rep 2: I am extremely sorry for the inconvenience caused to you.

me: It's more than that. It's not a free service

me: If it was, I wouldn't mind as much.

(Pause, them, but me needing to run out for appointment since I’m now late.)

me: Thanks for your assistance but I need to go.thanks.

me: Good-bye

(Pause, them.)

Rep 2: You are welcome.

Rep 2: Thank you for using EarthLink LiveChat. Should you need further assistance, please contact us again.

Rep 2: To close this Chat session, Kindly hold down the CTRL key from key board and click on CLOSE button of the chat window to end this chat session.

Rep 2: Have a nice day :-)

(Doesn’t that emoticon just scream a big ol’ Paula Deen FUCK YOU Bless Your Heart?

Chat session has been ended by the agent.

(End of session... and patience.)

(Image.)

It’s $50,000—what's not to love?

Fellow AdVerver and Hypios marketing czar Angela is involved with a unique self-promotion-slash-contest called A Problem To Love. Hypios is offering up a total of two prizes worth $50,000 ($30 and $20K), to two people who each submit a research problem worth solving. Hence, a contest that fits with what they do: Helping companies solve research & development problems.* (At the risk of being pelted virtually with croissants and French cigarettes, think of it as reversed crowdsourced engineered solutions.)

The entries will be based on complexity but also, their feasibility. People then vote a problem up or down in that digg-like fashion the internet loves. A judging panel comprised of researchers, scientists and engineers will then make the final determination on who wins. (Like, for real scientists. They all have PhDs, which means more letters than me. It also means the C-minus I got in algebra and which kept me out of NASA precludes me from entering.) Similar in tone to Google’s problem-solving job search campaign from a few years ago, this one results in cash—if you’re chosen. The deadline for entries is March14, with voting ending March 21. Check it out.

*Like how to bring the Star Trek phaser to life. I need that, actually.

America’s greatest Canadian treasure.

It was either Shakespeare & Shatner, or Chapin & Shatner. What to do, what to do. Hmmm, both!

I’m going to Sweden.

Me and Plector are gonna hang out at Adland starting today through next week along with a few other guest bloggers while Ask vacates the premises. I’ll still be here too, relax.

*tries hard to avoid requisite Ikea post*

But wait, there’s more...

– DHL shippers in a size 4? That’s haut.
– Friskies, trippin.
– 30 Days of Pulp.
– The Toyota Looma?
– Off-duty beauty.
– S ny theft.
– Ron Burgandy IS real.
– Bob RUG Costas.
– Wal-Mart keepin it real...ly far away from shelves.
– Dead rabbit beer.
– It’s hard to have a Gaytime on your own.
– I always have to get the ball.
– Creepy bowling pins.
– Star Wars condom. (Via.)

Sure, I could save a mate...

But first, imma draw on his ass with a Sharpie. Who said MTV doesn’t play music! There’s *sorta* music in the background of this Australian Red Cross spot. Produced in-house by MTV, it’s part of their Save-a-mate campaign to help raise awareness about not just the dumb shit friends do when you decide to get wasted in public, but the... wait for it... dangers of pills in clubs.

These ads paid for by...

Remember the sheep? There’s more badness which I know you can’t get enough of, can ya. Good, neither can I.

(Via.)

Toyota gets hammered by Congress—what a feeling.

Because I’m in the mood to break down the current Toyota fun, that’s why. Anyone in advertising, marketing or PR not watching Toyota leadership before the U.S. Senate Committee on Commerce, Science, and Transportation missed the fun.

The more I watched the hearings live, the more I was drawn in by how the their testimony either undid or reinforced the brand’s current Mea Culpa World Tour 2010. CEO Akio Toyoda from Japan, Toyota Motor Corporation (and grandson of the founder), appeared with translator and president and CEO of Toyota Motor North America, Yoshimi Inaba.

And it went a little something like this...

I wouldn’t do that. Toyota had disregarded the advice of ad agency Saatchi to pull current ads and lay low. That defiant attitude was on display by CEO Toyoda who spouted the “We must do better next time” mantra. It only shows that despite your best recommendations, brands are run by people, and people do whatever the hell they want. The last person you trust when you’re in siege mode is anyone who isn’t right next to you fighting back the hordes, and brands for the most part think they know what’s best for them.

Let them tire themselves out. Toyoda ran the rope-a-dope, played prevent, bend don’t break, or whatever sports cliché you prefer that describes a defensive mindset where you’re trying to ward off an opponent.

All America, all the time. Pity the brand who hurts the friend of a U.S. senator because basically, it’s your ass. It was clear that a pro-America attitude was the theme of the day, by the committee, at least as several senators recounted how people they knew experienced stuck pedals. Forget “partnerships between global brands to build a new kind of company” as one thing was made clear: Americans were hurt and the Japanese were going to pay. Yes, I said Japan and not just Toyota. The vibe of the panel was clear.

Welcome. Now, why did you kill people with your product? The duality of a committee hearing’s protocols is a thing of beauty forever. (I think Keats said that?) They smile, welcome you with open arms, say “konichiwa” and thank you for coming, then, attack. Wear a cup.

Vote for me. If you had any doubt that politicians live in their own constituency fish bowl, far away from the national spotlight, forget it. The separation between senators without an agenda (beyond protecting consumers), and those with a Toyota plant in their backyard couldn’t have been any clearer about their motives. Anyone with said auto jobs in their state, to a person, thanked Toyota execs for coming, and even apologized to them for what they’re now going through.

(I have no axe to grind here, as I own a 2004 Camry that fortunately has had no problems. Nobody I know with a Toyota has had any, either. But, I also understand how those who have suffered are beyond furious. If it were me, I’d be out for blood, not sitting here breaking down testimony. What Toyota execs are *going through* in no way compares to the loss suffered by the family of anyone killed due to a faulty car.)

Ass-whooping. The most compelling beatdown by a U.S. senator of a witness that I have ever seen was delivered by Congresswoman Kaptur of Ohio. Rope a dope or not, that one hurt Toyota as she pointed out the number of related deaths.

PR fail. Quite simply, whoever prepped Team Toyota in the War Room of the hotel apparently did it in separate rooms, much like splitting up two accomplices in an attempt to get one of them to roll first. As I said up top, the testimony often undermined the message of Toyota’s current ad campaign.

“We need to do better going forward” is fine as a general message to satiate consumers—in front of a senate panel out for blood? It’s disingenuous at best given the severity of the charges. They want yes or no answers. They want someone to say, yes, I did it. It’s my fault. They want Sepaku.

Barring that, nothing short of an Oprah free car giveaway is going to please consumers for some time.

Rosetta Stone ftw. Aka, PR fail part 2. You better have speakers who are fluent in English and your brand’s current situation and or history. In a yes or no arena, you can’t take a minute to respond, let alone with an answer that sidesteps the question. They derailed their own PR effort with translation issues.

CEO Toyoda clearly stuck with the company “We must do better” line way too often, while Inaba understood better the nuances of questions and answered promptly—but at times also undermined what his boss said.

Contrast that with Transportation Secretary Ray LaHood who was aggressive in his responses. Is it a cultural issue, where Japan favors manners over rudeness? Maybe, but a lot of it is simply the language barrier. Someone asked me whether the “flawed” translation I complained about wasn’t deliberate. Maybe. But then, everyone needs to be on the same page regardless of what answer you run with.

You may be right, but it doesn’t matter. About the only decent shot Toyota got off in their defense was when Inaba called into question an experiment by a professor regarding software as a possible cause. He claims the method used though recreates scenarios that make the test flawed, yet all you hear is how senators want to know why Toyota is ignoring software problems with floormat solutions.

That’s what people will be left with after these hearings.

Dealers. While several dealers were called into question regarding how they dismissed early complaints from drivers, no auto brand is immune from issues with the service department and not being able to find a problem. The instances where I’ve had decent service from a given car company are nothing compared to the problems I’ve had with expensive or even unnecessary repairs. Toyota hasn’t cornered that market yet.

And a few thoughts on media coverage...

Twitter was alseep. This may have been the oddest thing, but in a PR crisis, the current Twitter owner’s manual calls for any and all in marketing to use said crisis as a case study in their Powerpoints at the next Whatever Conference 2.0. Yet, there was hardly any chatter during the day on the hearings during the height of things.

MSNBC, meh. C-SPAN is still the way to go for hearing coverage. MSNBC didn’t show any of the names of senators or Toyota execs, instead covering a third of the screen with banners top and bottom and endless news crawl, and the video looked off for some reason.

Your government at work. Speaking of, I hope this is archived at some point, because it really is a case study in how to handle your brand in front of the toughest audience. But, the committee’s website only carries clips of some past hearings. Don’t we have a giant Indiana Jones secret warehouse full of servers somewhere that can sotre this stuff?

Now, I gotta go watch Obama sell healthcare. I’ll get back to ya.

Yeah, so here’s why I hate figure skating.*

The near-awkward dirty dancing poses with grimace? Noooo, but close. It’s the near-fanatical emotion with which the commentators describe the routines, almost like the joy shown by storm chasers a mile away from an F5.

Not the regular commentators either—I mean former pros.

It’s almost the complete opposite of most other pro sports, where *civilians* like Al Michaels or Marv Albert inject a year’s worth of emotion into every game as former jocks like Troy Aikman (who tends to offer insightful comments), do so with all the energy of an audience at a state-sponsored execution.

The worst part?

Before the jump is even completed though, said fanboys immediately break down how the triple Lutz-triple toeloop only went around 2.9 times, and that the skater is now essentially finished in the competition.

I’d caught one routine today in the background while I had headphones on editing. I *thought* I was watching a unique performance by the skater, and turned up the TV to listen to the results. First thing I hear is how awkward the routine was, and how many points would be deducted, and so on.

Near as I can tell, you don’t get that from other pro sports. Tim McCarver notwithstanding, former players typically wait for a play to be over before breaking it down, let alone go batshit.

Not in the land of the triple Salchow.

Maybe it’s the emotion of the moment which takes over. (Or maybe it’s the sequins and Vivaldi.) Insider trivia or anecdotes are one thing, but people like to see the end of a play for themselves without anyone telegraphing it for them.

Even if they’re right.

*Yes, I respect anyone who gets up at 5:00 am to do anything, least of all someone who trains daily for 10 hours straight x 15 years.

Did you hear about this thing called the census?

It’s gonna be HUGE. Not that you need to care, but what comes to mind as I’m watching this half-mural, half-amazination by Bryce Wymer and a whole lotta FX crew and agency Globalhue, is that I’m watching a whole lotta budget on screen, and so I was thinking wouldn’t it be also cool to instead take some of the 2010 Census ad budget of $133 million and give the money to homeless vets living out of their cars, enough to get them on their feet for a year. Maybe tape their progress and post their stories online.

That’s nothing against the work here; it’s tight and all, and the census is important to determine how $400 billion will be allocated.* But a whole lot of Christopher Walkens will be answering doorbells across the U.S., making me question the reliability of a headcount and the money that keeps feeding celebrity-laden ad campaigns.

At least tag the vid and throw it on YouTube; why not help max-promote the effort?


*Mom always said spend $133 million to make $400 billion.

"I'm at the intersection of growth and Second Life."

Foursquare has it’s first TV spot out—and you could care less, I’m guessing, ammirite? Especially if you don’t know what being the mayor of Happytown is all about. (I won’t explain, Bingle it.) Less an ad than cross-promotional tie-in with Bravo, Foursquare’s spot comes off more as the

“seamless integration between the brand and Bravo’s existing lineup, creating a programming synergy for today’s always-on, always-mobile tech-savvy generation!”

Pssst, I just made that shit up, but, it sounds like that’s what they’d say. For real though, me thinks you either build critical mass over a few years like Twitter, then > mass media puts you over, or you buy your way into the market with aggressive moves like a Bravo partnership. 500,000 foursquare members to Twitter’s how many now, 50, 75 million over three years?

Social media tie-ins aren’t new for Bravo as they’ve previously highlighted *so-called* Twitter reviews to push shows. Going with Bravo though, Foursquare focused on the activities in your life rather than just bringing a mobile partner in on their first ad and focusing on the tech aspect.

Mayor of New Usersville ftw!

(Via.)

Which blog post makes you feel: Sad, happy, neither?

Take the Devo color study. It’ll make you feel... no, wait, it won’t. But it will kill time while you ponder the relevance of Devo. Since everything old is new will be old again, who’s not not irrelevant anymore? Does that make sense? It does and it does. Take the test people. Then follow them on Twitter. Or something.

(Gracias, Zeke.)

AdVerve - Episode 20 - Call 1-800-AD LAW GUY

Have you or a loved one been injured by an ad or TV commercial? Call us. Now! Michael McSunas, @adlawguy on Twitter and a lawyer in real life, joins us for an episode wrought with disclaimer madness.

From images in the public domain, to why you can’t use that song you didn’t pay for, we nail it all. *smacks back of your head* Really? You needed to be told you can’t use that song in your spot without paying?!

We also break down why social media agencies would be advised to call Michael. His firm has him travel around the country and give presentations to ad agencies and brands on what things they might not be aware of when it comes to copyright issues.

(Email Michael for more info: mmcsunas *at* cbslawfirm *dot* com. It’s free for any agency interested. The catch? None. It's a self-promotional tool for his firm. So there.)

Play the show now. (Or right-click to download directly.)

Subscribe via iTunes:

Topics:

00:00 – 1. Intro
02:47 – 2. Call 1-800-Social Media law
49:44 – 3. They wouldn’t post it if it wasn’t free
1:01:35 – 4. That’s a wrap...


Linkage:

• AdRants Virgin Air ad.
  
• MySpace suicide mom.
• Anonymous skank blogger lawsuit.
  
• Angela’s Coke/Playboy reference (which is actually Hustler).

Send questions, comments or requests for newsletter inclusion to advervepodcast [at] gmail [dot] com. You can also leave a review.

Proving that people will donate to beer *and* national disaster relief efforts.

Not, necessarily in that order, but that campaign to buy Pabst is already two-thirds of the way towards its goal of $300 million in donations from when it first popped up on radar this *pabst* November. And I thought people would stop caring about beer and Haiti! Not too shabby for a grassroots campaign out of nowhere by forza migliozzi. Lesson for brands? Don’t quit your damn campaigns. Ya gotta stick with it like fm has done on Twitter, aided by attention from mainstream media like the Wall Street Journal.

When crowdsudsing wins... America wins!

Muppet cleavage ban coming to a city near you.

Because when only muppets have cleavage, then the terrorists win? Way to simmer the rage Colorado. The play’s only been around seven years.

(Via.)

Calling all writers of great copy.

Craigslist never disappoints. Ever. Read and enjoy the following, letting the story unfold like a fine cognac, sipped ever so slowly in your den by the light of a roaring fire. Not *too* roaring, but just, roaring enough.

“Evidence.” Ha.

(Emphasis added below.)

---

Copy writer for great firm (Stamford, CT)

---

Date: 2010-02-19, 9:47PM EST
Reply to: HR@MullaneyGroup.com

---

We are Mullaney Trust, a fee-only Registered Investment Advisory firm. We manage money for people, affluent people. Our service and the results we provide to our clients is world class and elite; truly extraordinary.
We are a group of wonderful people; yes we are terrific people with wonderful and extraordinary talents, ethics and humanity. And we have a wonderful story to tell. Our story must be told convincingly, with reason, passion and certainty. It must be told in a manner that helps people think, feel, see and discover that their decision to retain Mullaney Trust may be one of the most intelligent and valuable decisions they may make in their lives.
We need a writer and brochure designer that will make our factual financial story come to life. We want a writer that will awaken and excite the reader, the prospective client. We want the prospective client to see our services as a luxury and a necessity at the same time.
If you can show us how you have done that sort of thing for other firms, please send along such evidence. Nothing short of compelling evidence will do.

Thank you for your time. Please send information to HR@MullaneyGroup.com

Damn that avatar.

$2.4 billion worldwide.

Click. Date. Repeat.

Well, we haven’t gone dating in some time, what’s new?

1) Yahoo women! No, really, yahoo for women—they’re awesome. So much so that Yahoo recently ran a bloc of ads with only women. Pale complexions with even paler shirts type women. But it’s Always Sunny in California, no? (It wasn’t an accidental click—I refreshed 400 times and got the same grouping btw. Maybe on the *other* Earth it’s all pasty, hoodie-wearing guys looking for women.













































2) Or maybe Catholic women are your thing? Have faith brother, have faith.
















3) Or maybe Christian women from Baltimore are your thing? (I KNEW there was a Maryland connection.)















(Image via.)

I’m not a hockey guy, but...

What I mean is, like soccer, it’s better in person than on TV, least for me. Both are niche sports though in this country, and while their fans would love to see wider adoption, I don’t think they care if the *rest* of the country gets them or not. The few ravenous hockey fan friends I have will yank your shirt over your head with uppercuts o’ plenty if you think otherwise.

It’s not that I have a problem with NBC not showing an early-round marquee matchup on it’s main HD channel, but rather, it’s non-HD sister channel further on up the road on MSNBC.

The logical part of my brain understands why they would do it from an ad revenue perspective: Never mind that the network had early on eclipsed the ratings for Torino, figure skating is their biggest event, typically. Hockey though?

*shakes head in a sorrowful way*

Theoretically, it’s possible for NBC to “sell” the sport. Using soccer-slash-the beautiful game as an ad model, that game learned long ago how to incorporate signage within camera view as well as superimposed graphics from sponsors.

The problem is that this approach only works where the sport is ingrained within the culture of the country that plays it (and has played from birth), because fans will sit through a long game sans commercial breaks.

Here, hockey and soccer haven’t reached levels of nationalist fervor the way baseball, football or basketball have.

Ultimately, fervor becomes adoption on par with how soccer is in Brazil, cricket in..., etc. The other three American sports though, have that vibe.

Kobe and the Lakers, Jeter and the Yankees, or Manning and the Colts all think they can beat any team in the world in their respective sports. (Does the L.A. Galaxy really think it can beat Manchester United or AC Milan?)

The Olympics though is the one time that Americans can truly say they’re competing on an international level in a team sport, against the best in the world.

Back to skating, I suspect those fans view their sport much the same way, in that they could care less who else watches. If the saying goes that people only care about hockey during the Olympics, then the same must apply times ten for figure skating because I can’t explain the ratings, nor the interest.

Thing is, while I might remember “personalities” like Dorothy Hamill or Scott Hamilton, I couldn’t once tell you what performance of theirs got them their medal. I never once yelled “YEAH! USA, MOTHERFUCKER!” in a bar after they won.

It took Tonya Harding hiring Moron No. 1 to whack Nancy Kerrigan for me to take notice of the sport. In that regard, I suspect a few watch figure skating the way they watch NASCAR, for the crashes.

At the risk of explaining two sports I don’t really follow to their fans, Olympic “team” sports frown on letting your individual freak fly, but not individual sports like figure skating. There, style matters.

To a blue-collar, fight-loving Old Time Hockey fan who prizes teamwork, the “Look at me!” aspect of figure skating must drive them nuts.*

The flamboyance that drives sports the rest of the year, in every other league around the world, gets set aside every four years for the good of team and country. That’s the problem eating at me today and likely the real reason hockey fans are really pissed; it’s a sense of disrespect they feel NBC showed the sport and the teamwork they value.

The network focused on the sequins instead of the team.

I’m not a hockey guy. It was an early-round match between two teams likely seeing each other in the medal rounds. And face it, with cable nowadays, *true* fans still got to see the game (HD or not). But I watched that entire thing because the host country, hockey in its blood, ice in its whatever, got handled the entire way and eventually lost. There was drama there.

More than there is with a triple Salchow. Unless there’s a fall, then I’m watching.

*Look at the non-hockey, non-figure skating fan explain the dynamic between the two!

Oops.

Maybe he can catch a ride to the hearings with The Siennas.

BMW makes your joy happy.

Hey, why not. Why shouldn’t every brand own every generic positioning like joy and fun! Ritz was happy, so too, Pepsi, but, can’t a car be happy as well? Sure the tagline-slash-headline hybrid positioning statement in advertising is nowde rigueur, even though me thinks it conflicts with their classic tagline here.

A sign-off that’s is still there for the U.S. and UK markets, even if Sheer Driving Pleasure makes an appearance on the main site, and seems to change depending on the country. New positioning or not, BMW is still the Ultimate Driving Machine.

It is not fun. A Carnival Cruise is fun.

It is not joy. Exhilaration, maybe. Joy? That’s for VW and the Farfegnugen crowd.

Nor does it make joy. Trojan makes joy. (Actually, customers make joy—they make joy 99.999% worry-free.)

BMW makes the Ultimate Driving Machine. Not VW. Not GM. Not nobody.

BMW without UDM is like Nike sans Just Do It.

It’s like Harley saying their rides release your inner fun. Why? Because joy, or fun or happy doesn’t mean any more for a cracker than it does a soda or a car. When different brands increasingly equate themselves with the same word, doesn’t that word lose it’s vibe?

I know a lot of blood, sweat and rewrites went into crafting joy in just the *right* way, and that often why you shouldn’t change a positioning can be as good a reason as any for why they should change.

But, go ahead. I’ll wait while they run with joy, then change back when it turns out to be no happier than anyone else’s.

#ReadingIntoThingsTooMuch

How's that Bode Miller Nike love going.

I’m watching the Olympics here and there, noticing a few stories along the way with *human interest*, namely a kindler, gentler Bode Miller. Maybe they’re too busy running multiple Lances, but if Visa can give love to the medal winners during the games, Nike should at least be able to give a little love to one of their fallen ad heroes. Especially one who can still perform at an elite level (even if me and others thought he was arrogant for... not performing). It’d make a nice follow-up, considering how he was set him up in our heads to win in the first place. It’s not *entirely* Nike’s fault. This is what advertising is, and what we all do: Hype, promote and do whatever we can to sell stuff. Just, it’d be nice to see something that at least suggested the idea of not giving up, no matter what the outcome. Why not, they’re standing by Tiger.

(Image.)

"He didn't even need shoes to kick ass."

“When you need him, he’s always there.” Was there a better tagline for an action adventure flick post-1960s? Probably, but, for a peace-loving hapkido freak, it was good enough.

Time to buzz the organ player.

Using patented Jetbear Warpdrive™ technology, the 13-9-9 Alaska Nanooks from the University of Alaska Fairbanks destroy anything in their path. And when they’re done with the U.S. and outer space, they’re heading south to take care of penguins. RAH!

(Via Michael the G.)

I’m sorry for not apologizing more.

No matter what the transgression, athletes and celebrities must use the same writer for their apologies because they sure use an awful lot of the same words. Below are the common words used by statements from Bill Clinton, Marion Jones, David Letterman, Mark McGwire, Alex Rodriguez, Michael Vick and Tiger Woods. (McGwire’s is an interview with Bob Costas; as close to a public statement as you’ll find. Clinton’s was from his address to the nation while President.)

Trends? I, me or my are the most frequently used words, followed by You. A-Rod put up career words and almost apologized for the cycle, Marion Jones has the shortest speech at just 371 words, while Clinton never actually apologizes. While Letterman’s word count appears to have him saying the right things, his comes off the most disingenuous when you read it. Ironically, while the media loves to use this word in their coverage, no speech uses the word transgression.

Bill Clinton — 546 words
- family (3)
- hurt (1)
- I (26)
- me (12)
- my (18)
- responsibility (2)
- wife (3)
- you (6)

Marion Jones — 371 words
- children (1)
- embarrassed
- family (5)
- hurt (1)
- husband (1)
- I (25)
- me (11)
- mother (2)
- my (22)
- responsible (1)
- sorry (1)
- trust (1)
- you (11)

David Letterman — 1,483 words
- embarrassing (1)
- family (2)
- hurt (2)
- I (74)
- me (43)
- my (15)
- responsibility (1)
- sorry (1)
- wife (1)
- you (38)

Mark McGwire — 4,087 words
- apologize (1)
- children (1)
- dad(2)
- family (10)
- hurt (2)
- I (277)
- me (135)
- my (59)
- sorry (3)
- trust (2)
- wife (4)
- you (28)

Alex Rodriguez — 4,263 words
- apology (1)
- apologize (1)
- family (2)
- hurt (1)
- I (244)
- me (147)
- my (47)
- parents (2)
- responsible (1)
- sorry (1)
- trust (2)
- wife (2)
- you (128)

Michael Vick — 533 words
- apologies (2)
- apologize (3)
- ashamed (1)
- I (43)
- me (9)
- my (15)
- responsible (1)
- responsibility (2)
- you (16)

Tiger Woods — 1,514 words
- apology (2)
- children (4)
- dad (1)
- family (6)
- hurt (2)
- I (115)
- me (61)
- mom (1)
- mother (2)
- my (61)
- shame (1)
- sorry (3)
- wife (7)
- you (21)

Huh-huh-huh-Hersheys. Word!

Chocolate Shoppe is viralosity from Hershey’s and The Sniper Twins. Well, an *attempt* at viralolisty with only 1,600 views so far. Production is tight, and I like the parody of the corporate stuff up front, which nails the feeling you get trying to sell ideas to old school parole board clients. Buuut, the song drags on a leetle too long. (Lyrics here.) As one comment summed up things pretty fairly:

“I know I’m going against the grain here, but I think it's too long and has no memorable hook. If someone asked me to repeat it for them, I couldn’t. It’s a great idea to use YouTube to expand Hershey's market, but this video won't go viral as planned for various reasons. Hershey’s a fun company -- not a hip company. Many of us have emotional ties to the product and this seems to forget that.

I hope my comments prove to be helpful!”

They do, friend. They do. Stay Hershey!

"And here's where we do term papers for point guards..."

I’m laughing at this ESPN U spot but also nodding in agreement with the kid who asks about academics. It’s an afterthought for too many athletes who only care about playing time. (Don’t hate, you know I’m right.) Engineers go to MIT, linebackers go to Penn State. I KID. They also go to Notre Dame.

Buckle up kids.

Why does the UK get all the best seatbelt spots?

Another *new* ad agency.

The hell’s going on. 24dp is directors gone wild, starting an ad agency. Crazy! In times like these, too. (You might remember them as a collective of directors who auctioned off their services on eBay last year.) The model is based on a more simple approach of delivering TV packaged around one-stop shopping for creative services.

Realistically, they claim what every new shop claims when starting out: Less bloated, small, nimble. The proverbial hungry creatives leaving a large agency to go it alone, right? Brands who need a smaller creative agency with solid TV experience would seem to be their sweet spot then. Not sure that’s a bad thing, especially for a client looking for TV without the budget a BDA requires.

24dp handles everything in-house because that’s what they’ve done for agencies. Logically, it makes sense going it alone. Whereas a Victors & Spoils built their model around crowdsourcing overseen by an internal creative team, 24dp focuses on keeping it all in-house.

But no shop launches without buzz. And where V&S got a New York Times piece, 24dp is featured on Fox Business. This covers the two biggest obstacles in launching: Exposure and clients.

For the climate change now affecting the industry, where what a brand needs at any given time appears to be the focus, I wouldn’t bet against having TV and video content as my base. (TV ability easily transitions to online webisodes.) Compare the work for their first client Flatrate, and tell me it’s not better or worse than a lot of what a Best Buy runs—a much larger client which probably pays a lot more.

Another point to consider is that fair or unfair, starting out with TV chops is likely going to get you more respect from brands than *just* being a purely digital or social shop without any. (Or any agency that positions itself as exclusively digital or social.) Conversely, labeling your shop *creative* means you need to deliver in those other areas too.

TV or not, the first challenge for any new shop is to stay in business, then they can see whether nimble turns to bloated or not.

(Follow them on Twitter too.)

A budget of one: Cost for the U.S. Army to advertise to one soldier in 2009: $22,000.
(Via.)

Whatever happened to...

Movie freak that I am, I lived for Siskel & Ebert each week. Didn’t like Gene Shalit or Peter Travers in Rolling Stone much, but I seemed to be mostly aligned with what S&E liked. I stopped following years ago around the time Siskel passed away; more coincidence than anything. A recent Esquire article on Roger Ebert reveals what’s gone on with his life and a few things I didn’t know. That he was a Pulitzer prize-winning author for example. Or that cancer left him without a lower jaw, and that he now communicates mostly through writing. A Scottish company is even trying to match his previously recorded voice to their text to speech technology. He also spends a fair amount of time online at Twitter and his blog. But for some reason, what jumped out the most was something parent company Disney did after his run on Siskel & Ebert/At the Movies was over. Instead of donating the show’s set to the Smithsonian as many classic TV shows have done, he discovered it broken it up and left it in an alley dumpster. So much for collectors on Ebay. (Read the entire interview.)

Steve Nash, the most borrowed interest in the world.

I suppose when vitaminwater XXX does a ripoff/homage/tribute this blatant and over the top, it’s hard to hate the ridiculous performance. But did they need to, that’s the thing. Nike can do absurd. Adidas too. But it’s always original stuff. I *thought* vitaminwater was headed that way with its work as well, funky and cool, but always original. (Like his previous spots for them.) Sure this will get laughs, but you kinda feel like aww man, did ya have to *go* there? Regardless, you have to ask if Steve is now the new Peyton. He does nail the deadpan thing. And, reaction to a squirrel CPR fail? Classic Elias moment! Manning’s time? Oh, it’s near, I can feel it.

Stay vitaminized my friends.

“I will make blanket statements.”

I will go places the original ad didn’t. I will bring up every way men have oppressed women. I will make sweeping generalizations about legitimate issues and women’s rights. I will do this while aiming for clever, but instead, missing. I will overlook that the intent of the original was about you trying to reclaim a sense of the self you’ve given up in order to make me happy in the relationship. I will have ad bloggers hopelessly scrambling to look up a word embodying the ideal balance between misandry and resentment. I will resort to childish insults about your physical characteristics. I will forget that it was just as much my decision to have sex with you—so that I could later complain about raising the baby. I will remarry once you drop dead of a heart attack at 49 from working 16 hours a day. I will make a spoof video that reinforces the same things I will complain about.

Just another boring site.

And that’s okay. Give love to the small and mid shops. A lot of what goes into the blog here covers local and unsung work. Maybe you don’t always work on Clio-worthy stuff, and maybe your day to day projects are more straight-forward compared to what the majority of large shops deal with.

Nothing wrong with that.

Recently though, a site for a brand done by a shop you probably never heard of it made its way around the ad blog PR fax machine cycle. From what I can tell however, it died hard in terms of coverage, save for industry coverage. It isn’t sexy per se, and it didn’t cause controversy because two guys in it kissed, it’s just a nice redesign with a look behind the scenes.

The agency, Paramore|Redd, shares the process they used along the way for Back Yard Burgers. (Looking at the before, it definitely needed it.) It’s what so many shops go through with clients on jobs like this, and it’s nice to see a simple project done well with a little behind the scenes info.

Not to downplay things, because any site redesign has its share of problems, be it a Fortune 500 brand, or the Mom & Pop around the corner. Just sayin, there’s nothing wrong with a good burger prepared well, ammirite? (LOOK AT ME WITH FOOD METAPHORS!)

It may not be a big deal, but currently, there are several national fast food brands who, while they can obviously afford TV spots, have websites worse than Back Yard had.

Nowadays when people live online, there’s everything wrong with that.

Charles Barkleys need not apply.

This Early Bloomers campaign for Big Brothers Big Sisters of Canada peddles reverse psychology in the form of early bloomers offering so-called *advice* to younger kids. Flash dies hard—and will for the foreseeable future—as the EB site, the writing of which hits the gas on Family Guy/Archer-type quips. It then takes you to the main BBBS site with nice down to earth testimonials, but that creates a slight disconnect in the vibe they led off with on Bloomers. Funny spot though and finally a PSA that doesn’t lay on the fucking DREAD.
(From Sharpe Blackmore Euro RSCG.)

But wait, there’s more...

– The Crying Wife. (Via.)
– Can I get another arm?
– Smoke more, die sooner, wrinkle less.
– “You’re on a horse.” Behind the scenes of a classic.
– ComEd got your back.
– No folds.
– Try our twin peaks.
– These kids today, rethinking furniture and whatnot.
– It’s lunch meat people. Carry on.
– If Harlequin sponsored coffee.
– POWER G FORCE MAX!
– Contextual Madness Hall of Fame nominee.
– Never gets old.
– Get to know Tom.
– Honey, I shrunk Jaws.
– Johnny Condom.

Ronald must be in the character relocation program.

For a long time, this dude was EVERYWHERE. Now, with “I’m Lovin’ It” on everything, McDonald’s seems to have conceded the costume character to Burger King. Instead, they’re forcing red and yellow branding down the throat of any demo in their sights. Whatever works. People thought they never had a shot at the gourmet coffee market either.

Area 41—the "official" Olympics no-fly zone.

Sponsorship of the Super Bowl and Olympics costs a lot of money. Because of that, *guerilla* marketing takes on a new meaning during those events. Brands who don’t want to pay hefty licensing fees associated with “official” logos and the “official sponsor” designations try and siphon off some of that buzz by association for themselves.

Nothing new here; brands have been doing that for a long time. (Look at the Super Bowl to see how brands like Mancrunch or GoDaddy co-opt the event by saying their “Super Bowl” spot was rejected, knowing it never had a chance.)

It’s worse with the Olympics because no athlete can participate in the games if they have a sponsor promoting them—and not the actual event. Forget the motive being about amateur vs. pro status and the sanctity of the games. That dream died decades ago with other countries that routinely sent their professionals while we got our collective asses kicked.

No, this is all about the International Olympic Committee and the United States Olympic Committee wanting theirs:

“Except as permitted by the IOC Executive Board, no competitor, coach, trainer or official who participates in the Olympic Games may allow his person, name, picture or sports performances to be used for advertising purposes during the Olympic Games.”

The entry or participation of a competitor in the Olympic Games shall not be conditional on any financial consideration.”

One of the USOC’s guiding principles:

“The practice of sport is a human right. Every individual must have the possibility of practicing sport, without discrimination of any kind…” (IOC Charter, Fundamental Principles, #4)

Except as permitted. Shall not be conditional. Without discrimination of any kind. Looks like a financial payday slash lucrative sponsorship qualifies as an exemption.

(Image.)

I wanna share my sweet chili sauce with you.

Oh, McDonald’s. Trying so hard to be, well, not really sure anymore. I saw this spot above yesterday, and then saw them going for more inspirational fare today here. Camp? Semi-serious? Pick one. Also, can ya really connect the dots and say McDonald’s should be anywhere near the promotion of elite athletes with fast food? (Sorry McDonald’s corporate is reading, I meant, QSR fare.) Good luck with that.

Release your inner cancer.

Go on rock stars, rock out, smoke out, just make it your own... rock.

AdVerve - Episode 19 - Customer Service-O-Rama

On 3 For 3, we go off on Abbey Road, French Olympics, soy sauce, reality series mania, Dodge Charger ads and YouTube Disco. Then Kelly Eidson of Modea does Five Minutes With... which kicks off a discussion of the small agency digital divide around 33 minutes in. Then the headlining act comes onstage as we discuss Kevin Smith’s recent Southwest airlines fun. (Links below to the sequence of events.) We come out on his side of things and think Southwest is spinning things way too much and is wrong for reasons that the Southwest PR fanboy crowd ignore. Which then leads us into a discussion on the concept of customer service in Europe. And ice cream. Lots of ice cream.

Play the show now. (Or right-click to download directly.)

Subscribe via iTunes:

Topics:

00:00 – 1. Intro
03:25 – 2. 3 For 3
28:35 – 3. Five Minutes With... Kelly Eidson
33:50 – 4. Smaller is better
41:53 – 5. Kevin Smith’s Customer Service-O-Rama
1:02:41 – 6. Promo whores
1:03:07 – 7. Ice cream tipping etiquette
1:11:34 – 8. That’s a wrap...

Linkage:

• Kevin Smith’s original story. B) His initial smodcast after. C) Southwest’s follow-up blog post. D) Kevin’s rebuttal. E) Kevin’s final words. F) His smodcast with Natali (the woman passenger next to him).
• Abbey Road up for sale.
• Dove men’s bodywash commercial.

Send questions, comments or requests for newsletter inclusion to advervepodcast [at] gmail [dot] com. You can also leave a review.

Same Old Stuff.

Now that I’m recording every day, seems, here’s an edition we did Sunday on the Super Bowl and yet another *study* on social media. This one says you don’t believe your friends the way you used to—at least over the same time last year. I forget exactly what I ranted but I shalln’t be getting Christmas cards from them next year, I suppose. Why? Well, it’s hard to put out a study that asks to be taken seriously when the firm that creates it has previously had questionable miscues in the online space. And any friends in my network who I go to for opinions are always people I‘ve met in real life. *sigh* Publish or perish though, right? (At one point, I referenced Shiv Singh’s response here.)

The panel this show: Steve Hall, George Parker from the Boise Separatist Movement and the hardest working Swedish woman in Super Bowl Advertising, Åsk Wäppling.

Download the show directly here. Follow the crew on Twitter: TheBeanCast, mtlb, Åsk and Steve.

Tags: The Beancast