(Image via.)

contextual madness

Ouch.

April Towers over Mayflowers.

Ha! Okay, her name’s not April even though I get the theme of controlling every aspect of things in your life that need storing. But how often do I get a set-up like that? Often it turns out, because it’s the internet—and she’s still creepy come to life girl.

FACEBOOK *IS* THE DEVIL.

Hey, I *Like* your sign! I told you people, but do you listen? The battle of secular vs. sacred continues. (Aka, all outrage is local.)

The gay ad McDonald's doesn’t want you to see!

Okay, a title that exploits, sure, but I need a grabber to compete with grilling dead animals and beer this weekend. BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT YOU PEOPLE ARE DOING.

So anyway, DADT is on its way to being repealed, Arizona’s new immigration law is under fire and Carson along with cable continue to pave the way for the LGBT community. Everything is going so well, that McDonald’s would have no problem running this poignant ad from France here, right?

*crickets*

As the kids say, NO FREAKING WAY this runs here. Too bad, because it covers a lot of ground, not just for the brand either, but societally speaking as well. Why?

Because the fabric of mainstream advertising that catered to, well, the mainstream, had always been the American nuclear family. A demo later destroyed by the DINKY mindset, which in turn underwent further change when Gen Y took over, to end up now as who knows what.

But implicit in any of those shifts was always the idea that brands are selling to a heterosexual mindset based in large part on the idea of the American Dream™, where marriage is/was between man and woman, with 2.5 kids and dog 1.0.

*Certain* demos may have always used a brand, but good luck ever seeing them represented in a mainstream spot. The message by omission though is/was clear:

We want your money—we just don’t want you.

You can probably count the number of spots that are *out* on one finger. (Progressive recently.) Otherwise, gays on American TV? Fine, as long as they reinforce the stereotypes:

Worry more about their appearance than women and match drapes like they were born holding a fabric selector instead of a pacifier, then we’re good to go.

This topic can easily broaden to include other groups brands would rather not think about too. When’s the last time you saw someone in a wheelchair in a Wendy’s spot? I mean beyond sponsorship of events like the Paralympic Games or charity tie-ins.

I mean everyday advertising.

Brands have no problem making money off any demo; they’re just very selective of who they feature in ads to help them accomplish that feat.

The fast casual or fast food industry or whatever you call it these days is no exception. The pseudo David Lynchian freak of The King in bed next to you is preferable to showing two guys holding hands walking in and ordering two number 8 combos. Why? Because kinky is fine, as long they’re straight.

Rightfully or wrongfully, the majority of chains still believe that this is an industry based on the *normal* family, because if current TV ads are any indication, this is what families apparently still do:

Gather round the table at 6:00 pm every night and smile while eating delicious Kentucky Fried Chicken.

What ads in this category don’t do however is address larger social issues the way this French spot does. And credit even more here to the spot for not trying to solve anything either. Look how proud dad is of his handsome son, a playa off the old block, just like him.

Well dad, your kid has a secret that you’re making it real hard for him to share.

Is McDonald’s the place to make that happen? (Only small nit I have is that most of my heart to hearts with the parental units never took place in public.) Is this where the scenario is headed in a subsequent spot? Who knows, but the anticipation of that conversation is interesting.

Also interesting is the “come as you” are part. Where “I’m lovin’ it” speaks to your love of the brand’s product, “Come as you are” shows how open the brand is to fitting around your life.

Joe and Frank are cute, but this is a spot that McDonald’s should run here. They’ve gained back a lot of lost ground this past decade including a serious run at owning coffee and are killing it in terms of profitability. Show it here in the U.S.?

I’d be lovin’ that.

(Via.)

Guitar Center *Slashes* Memorial Day prices.

Holidays are about time off, but Memorial Day always seemed more solemn. As such, I hate the typical fare from big box retailers looking to sell cheaper appliances. Macy’s holds a special place in my heart but now, Guitar Center just moved ahead. Nothing says honoring our nation’s fallen like a 50-foot Slash as he attacks high prices—and an augmented minor 7th.

GE—Bringing fairplay and surgical strikes to life.

Quality surgical strikes that is thanks to the Rolls-Royce partnership in the GE F136 engine program. They just want to make sure Uncle Sam plays nice with all comers and gives everyone a shot. Well, everyone who can afford a major media buy targeting TV, print and radio that is. I guess this explains GE’s recent fling with crowdsourcing. No more creative monopolies by one agency, ammirite!

Then there’s this...

“In their eagerness to show each other off, they’re very open, sharing anecdotes and asking questions, which not only makes the hours go by, it’s pretty much the most fun part of my job — except, of course, when I get to use the fire extinguisher.”

“These “psychological operations” aircraft can broadcast their own signal over AM and FM radio, UHF and VHF television bands — or override broadcast stations on the ground, something they apparently did during operations in Bosnia and Iraq.”

“Constitutionally adversarial, he enjoys imagining himself paired with an equally combative leftist opponent, such as Sean Penn. “Sort of like ‘Barfly,’ with Mickey Rourke—that’s how I envision it being with me and him,” he says. “I’d hate him, I’d fight him. He’d fight me, he’d get in some punches, I’d get in some punches. We’d drink some more. At the end of the day, we’d agree to disagree. And then I’d punch him again.”

Remember Norm Abram?

The guy who made Bob “I’m not a contractor” Villa look smart? Neither have most of the home improvement shows lately. It’s either hot designers in fashionable attire, or it’s Aussie carpenters straight out of Home Improvement Hunks of 2010. Mike Holmes of Holmes on Homes though gives me hope that at least one show gets back to the genre’s blue collar routes. Ladies, he’s the man you wish your home improvement weekend warrior man was. Typically, he walks through abandoned renovation projects where contractors messed up royally as he matter of factly tells people what’s wrong... in that uniquely Canadian way, eh: “Pull the cabinets. Pull the toilet. Pull the floor.” A lot of the shows talk about making sure things are up to code etc., but Mikey covers what people should’ve looked for ahead of time, showing you can learn a lot from seeing what not to do during big projects.

"The power of cheesy graphics!"

Man, we were so excited about mediocre graphics.

"The coast is clear—for tourists."

Or maybe you dig “In Northwest Florida, we have families, white sands and oil-free sharks—we just don’t have you.” This was the ad that was reshot by Visit Florida after tourism officials thought the first one didn’t do enough to reassure tourists that things were okay. Apparently, BP has allocated $25 million in emergency ad money to allow tourism promotion efforts to move ahead, except, the funds haven’t been released yet. Just in time for the Memorial Day weekend. Which means... thanks God for YouTube? (Yes! 50 views = awesome.) So basically, oil that hasn’t washed ashore and which actually may never, has done its damage in other ways. Yea BP! I wouldn’t worry much, Mobil was able to rebrand and rename itself after their oil spill disaster. Just not sure how much shorter than BP you can go though.

Look Who's Talking. Like Babies. Again.

*Yee-AWN* Only it’s worse. Imagine being in that creative brainstorm slash gangbang for Huggies. “Hey, I know E*TRADE babies! YES! Only instead of clever dialog, we talk about ultra absorbency. Sweet.” Click. Listen. And don’t hate me because you did.

"He's got real hair on his arms."

Not sure how much longer they’ll be able to do this with the real Ozzy, but cute way to promote his upcoming CD release called Scream. (Update: 730,000+ 1.2 million views in under two four days.)

Why is Dan Aykroyd smiling?

OVER A MILLION BOTTLES SOLD, that’s why. Remember his crystal skull vodka? $50 million dollars worth in two years bitch. Shows that being •out there* pays—well. And if you haven’t yet watched Dan break it down, take a few minutes now and watch at his site.

But wait, there’s more...

– A-Rod, freelance jerk, or full-time?
– The black guy on Mad Men talks.
– Speak out America, before *they* do it for you.
– Fun with cover letters.
– NYC GOP MILF ISO JIHAD.
– Beer can free time.
– Ed Hardy condoms-not condoms.
– Punchaboard.
– The Shack wants your future back.
– Caffeine potency chart.
– Fresh London fog.
– My Ex-wife’s wedding dress.

Overheard internet.

Because internet comments are cool, honest and sad. In an unedited B-roll, straight to your monitor kinda way...


“Big deal. Oil comes from the earth, its not like it comes from mars. The earth produces oil naturally. This hysteria over spilled oil is ridiculous.”
– jasabbott


“Loving the quote ‘I don’t want to be the fat funny one anymore’ by Khloe. Honey, not one Kardashian is ‘the funny one’. ”
– mexiback


“‘It’s a reason why i quitted my job ...’ maybe you weren't working very much because you too stupid to spell correctly. Learn English you much. ”
– Hemmingway


“REPORT THE TRUTH AND YOU WOULD NOT BEING GOING BROKE YOU SOCIALIST BEGGAR.”
– JB


“How come it’s in English? btw; Directors, producers etc, DeNiro, Alba, Seagall etc, Kiss my ass. For you cooperation the only movies I’ll see of yours are going to be on torrents.”
– meester


“msnbcrules, I’ve been to tea party events too and there were whites, latinos, asians, blacks. All the races were represented. Don't know why they weren't at the one you attended but it's not all white. Mostly white but not all.”
– iousquat


“Dane Cook was never funny. Jeff Dunham is shit too. Puppets are the lowest form of comedy. ”
– MoseyBurns


“In an era where the sexual history of a candidate's child is made front page/leading story of most of the mainstream media, you better believe that the sexual history of “The Chosen One’s” nominee is fair game. To be cliché, “What is good for the Goose, is good for the gander. Speaking of waterfowl, I can already hear the quacking of a lame duck President when the Tea Party takes the country back in November and puts another partisan hack like Kagan back in academia.”
– cwayneg

Maybe the Free Credit Report dudes wanted more money?

Or maybe they was worried about becoming that band who played in the pirate costumes. Too late. So I’m watching late-night TV—like there’s any other kind—and a Freecreditreport.com spot comes on saying they’re looking for a new band to replace their current one. (Maybe the dudes wanted Jersey Shore money.) Maybe these dudes have a shot? Furry numbers are nice and all, but walking away from the band that brung ya? Good luck with that Twitter.

Waaa, waaa, Facebook changed my privacy settings, waaa.

Well, they changed mine too. Deal. My two cents? Look, they’re clearly figuring things out as they go—still—no matter how many *Social Media Gurusauruses* and moms love this damn site. I only have a Facebook account because agency people I know as well as family members have one. For now, I’m on the fence between deleting the thing and just dealing with it.

One thing that Mark Zuckerberg tried to explain away in his latest Wea Culpa though underscores the inherent problem with online social networks. You don’t even need a seat at a keynote either—imma let you have it free.

First, from today’s typically long and somewhat confusing announcement:

“When we started Facebook, we built it around a few simple ideas. People want to share and stay connected with their friends and the people around them. When you have control over what you share, you want to share more. When you share more, the world becomes more open and connected.”

People want to share and stay connected.

This is the assumption that Facebook et al. want you to operate under, and it’s the heart of the issue for me. It’s this forced sense of community participation masquerading as sharing. And I don’t think they can escape it.

I’m not saying people only want to lurk, but why can’t I just experience a site without an expectation that I must contribute to its community somehow for it to be successful, or without me looking like I am I loser because I didn’t?

The experience of sitting in front of the monitor is still a private one even though you might be engaging with someone (or a group), and somewhere along the line I think this dynamic has been ignored in the discussion.

This social media Stockholm syndrome we’re operating under seems to accept the idea that it’s okay for any expectation of privacy to be sacrificed in exchange for signing up.

But does it need to be?

Every problem Facebook has in terms of working the privacy issue out is based on the premise of public sharing. Twitter doesn’t even have a quarter of these problems because everything you *share* is in the tweet itself, not to mention they don’t have anywhere near the number of layers to invade your life.

Zuckerburg needs to rethink this guiding principle, or he’ll continue to have these skirmishes and wonder why people are pissed. Granted, it’s his site, his rules, but why does signing up mean he gets to share all your data?

Is the solution perhaps a master on/off privacy switch that kills the power (and not to just outside apps)? Does the net need to go to a pay model encompassing all these sites, much the same way cable providers offer packages with different channels? I don’t ever recall hearing someone complain because Fox shared their user data.

I’m not really sure. But if they address the dependency on sharing first, I really believe the privacy issue will resolve itself much more easily.

The most annoying ad in the world.

I flipped a coin: Post about Facebook’s new privacy settings, or post the most annoying car ad in the world. Heads you win: Latter. Qablawi almsot moves past Rhett & Link for bad local, except, this shit’s real. (There’s another one in case you think this was a fluke.) Why does the happy guy strike me as the older batshit brother in the family. The one who couldn’t hold down a job, and the one who dad told the younger brother with the head on his shoulders “I’m counting on you to take care of him when I’m gone. I don’t care what you do—give him a broom or something and let him clean up—just keep him away from the customers.” In case they’re father and son, then there goes that theory.

When's the last time McDonald's made ya go awwww?

Supposedly not released yet beyond a shareholder meeting, McDonald’s throws out Joe and Frank in another spot that makes you almost forget they were trying to find their urban way not too many years ago. Old people are cute!

(Via βurgerβusiness and Creativity. Agency: DDB, Chicago.)

C’mon Vimeo, don’t be like that.

A friend was asking the other day about whether Vimeo was worth recommending to clients after they yanked down another clip (the Nike World Cup spot that, save for the clueless, most everyone dug). I’m not sure though. At first Vimeo was like this up and coming cool vid site that let anyone post. The quality of the content seemed better than YouTube’s Wild West mob mentality, and Vimeo’s Flickr-like community watch seemed to be partly responsible for that. It seems though like they’re building something like what Current TV has with specific categories of original content.

Not a bad approach, and it does weed out the shit. The above being just one example of cool clips from their HD timelapse section. No shaky cell phone video work here. Ironically, someone in an agency will be using Vimeo for inspiration in much the same way they use YouTube. I could see them “borrowing” this sequence for a commercial.* Something though feels lost when a Nike clip can remain on YouTube but be yanked from Vimeo just for linking to it.

(Update: A community manager from Vimeo responded offline that posting videos you didn’t have a hand in creating is verbotten. Okay, I can see that. I know it’s likely a competition thing, but the users don’t care about that. People post on more than one platform, so maybe both sites could at least integrate user IDs and give people the option to simultaneously post the way Posterous allows users to. Both vid sites get the cred for the view. Just an idea. But props to Vimeo for responding. No site/platform that I've ever mentioned here has responded in the past.)


*No, not the Sprint work which itself was a rip from a British filmmaker, smartass.

(Shown without optional Boris and Natasha spy package.)

Crappy sound on one channel but the quality dialog still shines through in this 1966 Mercury Comet Cyclone training film. BMW films, ha!

Smart cars need smart spots.

They might have them with these. It’s a series of ads slash mini films out for Smart Car. Decent approach to push the different characteristics of the car in a series of funny scenarios. Does the talk the entire way dude riding shotgun grate and maybe go on a little too long? Yes. That’s what wingmen do. Does the bury the body spoof seem to make people feel guilty about helping the Earth that they plant at night? Yes. Still, Tommy likey, Tommy want wingy. Smart USA has one of the things any auto needs though if they want to compete: A decent ad campaign. Whether people adopt the car here in numbers or not is another thing, but it won’t be because their ads sucked. Check out the rest on smart USA’s YouTube.

Behind the campaign your campaign will never be like.

W+K released a clip of creatives Eric Kallman and Craig Allen talking about the now future classic Old Spice commercial. They talk more about creating the actual idea and less about the actual shoot. For that, their interview here? ¡Es muy bien!

Here's the problem with the post office.

Your mail has been handled by colonies of worker ants. But now, we have cheaper sources of ant labor offshore. Yes, the post office created the original *internet tubes* traveling from state to state. (Click for hunormous version.)

But wait, there’s more...

– Nevada polling place chicken costume ban.
– Talented bastard.
– Australia officials want your laptop porn.
– Tom will be best man and give the bride away.
– Talented little bastard.
– Nazi Jazzaganda.
– First useless tweet from space.
– Awwww.
– Non-profit gringo masks.

Time Gobbler: Cost to U.S. workplace productivity for Google’s Pac-Man header: $120,483,800, or 4,819,352 hours.

Let the border ad wars begin!

Looks like Arizona, I mean, Sheriff God Damn Joe, didn’t take kindly to the implications of this Mexican tourism ad. (I report, they deride.) The second version of the ad did have a rejoinder: “who want to have a great time.” Are apologies in order, or this just a little advertising immigration wordplay? Do we really need a real boycott of travel to Mexico from a real sheriff? I wonder though if blood and guts Joe would be offended at the unintended Amercian Apparel contextual madness accompanying his twitpic though. (Or would he approve because they’re made in using real American labor!)

Michael Strahan sends people to the Dr

Trust him. I love the line as a nice call to action, and a tackle never fails, but the message feels inconsistent. Is this about Michael being out of football or is it about Dr Pepper.

No, it's okay, it's healthy.

So this is known as pictures of drinks beside their sugar equivalents in food. You’re looking at 660 calories made up of 22 g fat (15 g saturated) and 95 g sugars. The sugar equivalent of that drink? 8½ scoops Edy’s Slow Churned Rich and Creamy Coffee Ice Cream. Oh, it’ll make you think twice... for a few minutes at least. What, the damn things are good, I couldn’t help myself.

"This isn't a muni course hippie... tuck in your shirt."

See the light—be the ball. Snappy dialog. Enough character actors from movies. (Hello Del Paxton!) Requisite too cool for the room hero and throwback pseudo Crosby-Hope road trip rat pack wannabe vibe. All in all, this Heineken Light series seems to work, but really, each :30 clip is pitched as a *webisode*? Heh. The *integrated* campaign is supposed to feature a mix of television, print, cinema, out-of-home and digital story lines, but I can’t keep a straight face and type that. (Which means they recut the TV for YouTube and call them webisodes.)

The rest of the series: Lawn Mowing (ouch), Lady Music and a trailer. (Shhh. I like the golf line, that’s why I posted it, not the trailer.)

(Agency: Euro RSCG.)

Wait until we get out replacement Charlie Sheen on you.

Charlie Sheen! Or so went the mention in the last spot before his off-camera troubles cost him the relationship with the brand. But when you have Michael Jordan, you can plug anyone in, ammitrite? Not really. Charlie did the understated thing, but it was still his celebrity that made the combo work. Throwing in anyone off the street puts the focus too much on MJ to carry the load. Buttoned-down lay flat non-bacon collar guy is trying to hard to pull off the affect that Breaking Bad’s Bryan Cranston nails, so why not just grab him instead.

Epic paint.

Depending on my mood lately, I love big or I hate big. Hate if the brand just seems to be throwing money at a gorgeous campaign without addressing problems with its core product or service. (Think any mobile spots like Pre or AT&T.) I have to dig this Dulux Walls spot just for the way it’s shot as it flows through cities though. Was I wondering about where to buy it? Sure, if this was a U.S. focus. That’s par for what we get here. (There hasn’t been much done in terms of *epic* paint spots in the U.S. market short of the Valspar work. Epic in terms of broader emotion, not the scale of the production.)

This program is part of the Let’s Colour Program that hit Brazil, France, India, and London. The spot balances the practical (fixing up rundown surfaces to inspire people) with the dramatic, but the one big neg that keeps being repeated in large campaigns is a complete lack of integration with the brand’s main site. (In this case, Dulux is one of the partners.)

Not to get off on a rant, but when I see things like this, it’s as if the agency is afraid of bringing actual *commerce* into the discussion because it would taint the emotional appeal. Sorry, but this is where the practical side of things needs to come into play more. (Little things like making colors interactive so that clicking on them takes you to those colors on the site or to specific stores, etc.) This is why I get pissed because this stuff is not that hard to pull off.

If they can afford a HUGE production like this in four major countries, then can afford resources to make the customer experience complete online. A clip on YouTube is not what I mean either. Agencies can’t escape their sweet spot of emotional campaigns though, and so that’s where the dollars go. *too bad* Anyway, an inspiring, uplifting spot needs a max-happy track, Jónsi’s Go Do.

(Agency: Euro RSCG London.)

Arizona says frogs are allowed—as long as they have their papers.

“Not-read-it” sounding like “Bud-weis-er,” Arizona Governor Jan Brewer is now trying puppets to silence the naysayers who apparently haven’t read the fine print of the state’s new immigration law. HAVE YOU? I have. Sexy! While it covers a lot of territory, the one thing it prohibits is what civil rights supporters claim will become the norm: Racial profiling. The state may have checked off the CYA box that says they *can’t* profile by law, but they’re dreaming if they think it won’t go on.

For their part, senators and opponents who haven’t read the bill, the gist of your argument should simply have been: Why hasn’t Arizona enforced current immigration laws? Probably because a “Get tough” move like this is the kind a governor and future presidential candidate with thin CV makes. C’mon, look at her paired with Palin. THAT’S AMERICAN TEAMWORK! Can you see that campaign slogan in 2012? “I was there—fighting for you! The only colors we care about? Red, white and blue!”

BP is about to have the worst week of its life.

Aka, Happy Monday! Code Pink will be protesting today in Houston at BP HQ with nets of dead fish as protestors wear nothing but oil. So Peta! See, underwater flumes of oil don’t looks so bad—until oil starts washing up on shore and wildlife dies. Yep BP, welcome to Monday. Don’t worry though, Rush says everything will be fine. You do put out a nice, caring Twitter though.

If you see only one hearse promo this year...

I was going to bang out a mini-epic on #shitmtlbsaysaboutadvertising, but isn’t a night funeral with Streetglow just better than that? Now THERE’S something you don’t see—much. Via Ectoplasmosis! comes the best hearse club promo to grace the internet this week. Read the description there because I’m not topping that one today. If you do own a hearse, check out Hearse Club. If you own a hearse and chill in Boulder? Even better. Hit HearseCon June 18-20.

Back in my day, we didn’t have eBay for porn—we had Nat Geo.

And we were happy. Are we in the dawn of a new age of political ads or what. WE JUST MAY BE! Carly’s sheep? Oh, smooth. And now, forget guns, California’s Meg Whitman likes porn... and wants to sell it your kids. Well, *sold* is more like it since she’s no longer running the company. But you get the implied tangential connection between your darkest fears and the latest polling numbers. But would Mitt or McCain endorse just any peddler of the smut? I think not. Or maybe Steve Poizner is just unhappy eBay gave slightly more to Democrats than the GOP.

(Via Wonkette.)

My workout partner... changes every time you turn around.

Could I resist with that set-up? Nope. Jennifer Aniston for Glaceau’s Smart water.

C’mon in, the water's fine.

The beauty of the net: BP posts its live underwater cam—Miami Board of Tourism posts theirs. Thoughts of Mayor Vaughn from Jaws come to mind after watching this clip though. Probably because people are thinking money first. BP, on how much it will cost them to clean up their image and beaches—states, on how much it this threatens their economies.

Beyond fishing, there is a lot of tourism money at stake, and the word *if* tends to spread a lot of doubt in areas *yet* to be affected. When it comes to spin, *if* equals fail. Anything less than 100% absolute certainty that these beaches are postcard clean will kill business.

But at what point do you stop painting rosy pictures when the perception changes around you? Miami beaches may be safe and clean, but people see oil spill on a beach—any beach—and the collateral damage is done, virtually of course, regardless of the reality.

Super Delicious Ingredients Forced.

As one comment about the latest Taco Bell spot so rightly calls it at Agency Spy. Grads, I know you’re heading out in the world, but just know, this is what happens when a brand gets its hands on your idea and forces every bullet point from the Powerpoint deck on it—and you don’t fight back. All I’m sayin... let the parodies begin.

Dude Perfect says it's real, so I believe!

Pics or it didn’t happen? Even with pics, it’s hard to believe. Maybe I’d believe more without the GMC part. But, they do say it’s for the kids... and Jesus.

Just what you need, another government program overseeing advertising.

Pretty sure it was just the FTC, the FDA and the occasional attorney general taking care of the ad business. Apparently though, someone at the FDA thought another program was needed because they created, wait for it... the Division of Drug Marketing, Advertising, and Communications (DDMAC). Aka, the “Bad Ad Program.” For real. Physicians can contact dee-dee mac by e-mail: badad *@* fda.gov or phone: 1-877-RX-DDMAC. It’s only for pharma but you know it won’t stop there.

My proposal though for a federal agency that covers ads? The Department of False Advertising. (DFA.) No, think of it. That’s badass. Real mad men showing up at agencies with dark suits and shades: “Step aside—we’re DFA.” They’d also have the memory things that could make you forget spots like Little Six.

Worst CD Covers of 2010.

Okay, well, lists being subjective and all, you’ll agree with some on this one and disagree with others. Not sure about worst, but they sure seem to have wtf? covered.

World Health Organization calls for alcohol ad crackdown—Budweiser still laughing as we speak.

Noble cause but did you even watch Thank You For Smoking? Lobbies people. Lobbies. That’s the first hurdle. Second, What are we really getting at it here. A restriction of any kind still falls short of what should be the minimum: A total ban of all ads then. And even THAT ain’t gonna happen, not without legislation in place to enforce it and especially when the industry polices itself.

As for said industry combating the issue of responsible drinking, they at least agree more can be done. See. Above. However. Self-regulation hasn’t really worked out. I can remember back when Crown Royal was the first brand to come back to TV and break the voluntary ban that the industry had up until the 90s.

And now? Beyond saturated. (How’s that age verification thing going on websites.) The WHO has a point though:

“The more affordable alcohol is ... the more it is consumed,” its strategy said, calling for minimum prices on drinks and taxes and other pricing policies to reduce underage drinking and bingeing. “Consumers, including heavy drinkers and young people, are sensitive to changes in the price of drinks.”

Agree. An more ads of any product category make an impression. The response to that by the industry reveals the blinders they have on though:

But that reasoning was rejected by SABMiller, the brewer of Miller Lite, Pilsner Urquell and other beers. It warned that minimum prices and high taxes could hurt public health by leading people away from safe brands toward cheaper, homemade moonshines and brews.

(I can say bullshit here on the blog, right?) Okay, well, bullshit. Would a Heineken drinker or beer lover start drinking low-price swill with a modest price increase? They may grab a Coors Light because that’s what was cold in their friend’s fridge, but the idea that the inverse of low price drives consumption is that higher prices drive people underground? Hasn’t been born out in my experience.

Again, need to be talking about a total ban to make that happen. Higher prices will not prevent anything. *Higher* is not the same as an obscenely, ridiculously high price either. To get people drinking floor cleaner, beer would have to go to $100—a can. Why does government always think incrementally small will affect the change they want?

Take smokes even. Sky-high cigarette taxes and price increases haven’t sworn people off that vice, so is it safe to assume the booze industry is safe? *nods* Or gas. Prices could go back up to $5-6 again and we’d still drive. Less, just like a few summers go, but we’d still drive.

Prohibition drove people underground—not higher prices of legal alcohol. As for ads, well, we could do with a few less all round, no?

Dr Pepper UK wants to update your status: Great idea, or another miscue?

And with this brand, the latter is not far-fetched given how they currently promote themselves. A friend says this Facebook idea to have them update your status is a potentially brilliant move that works their way into your friends’ lives. I lean towards maybe, but not sure I’d want my friends, family and coworkers wondering why someone put (blank) on my (blank). Especially if a few of them missed that it was a page takeover. But hey, who am I—give it a shot Dr P freaks.

Hardee’s Fan-Rai... Like-Raiser Fanatho... Likeathon.

I like the idea of a Fanathon on Facebook but really Hardee’s, the weak sex gag? Why not just change to Hardon’s then. HA. Joke! (Really, it doesn’t need the sex angle.) The host works things okay and I dig the eagle gag of Hour 18. I’m guessing the Like vs Fan Facebook change thing probably occurred during production, but no excuse not to fix it anyway.

The *HELL* happened to air travel in this country?

“Father, father... do tell us about service aboard the transcontinental flight experience.”

No, look, see... it really WAS this way. Technology and comfort is not supposed to go fucking backwards, okay? While almost every other form of tech or product has improved to where we are now (phone > iPhone, Model T > Accura, etc.), airplane travel is worse. Like, way worse. They still crash. The service is deplorable. Leg room? THOSE BATHROOMS ARE BIG ENOUGH TO FUCKING TANGO IN. And not that I did, but people could smoke—like chimneys. DID YOU SEE THAT LOBSTER? And what that captain would be saying over the intercom today: “Uh, ladies and gentleman, we’re on final approach to Heathrow. Uh, while we gained some time with a slight tailwind, you’ll be losing it all and then some as you still have another 120-point latex security check to go through—again. Uh, thanks for flying.”

Jetpacks was right. It’s nothing but failed promises of the American dream littering our nation’s jammed highways.

Happy Friday.

(Clip via tontino.)

Every council meeting has one.

Scuffles? Not usually. I mean the angry voice of the neighborhood who shows up at every city or town council meeting with folded arms while staring down board members. Yeah, they just LOVE *that* person. Well-meaning at times, but, a PITA to be sure most others. Still, rightly or wrongly, they’re the PITA who speaks up when nobody else will. Next city over from me, Bridgeport, recently had an incident with *that* guy. Even with video, it’s still a case of he shoved/she shoved. What sucks is that people who actually care enough to show up at meetings that councils would rather hope nobody attends generally have good intentions. Maybe they’re just trying to speak out for things that are ignored in their neighborhood. Instead, the lawsuit that’s likely coming out of this one will take away from funds that address the issue he was there about in the first place.

Yeah, it's *okay* I guess.

I kid. It’s another great spot from Oregon’s Amsterdam’s best. Although Ronaldo looks like he’s off team Brazil for the time being. (Oh don’t make me tell you the song is Hocus Pocus by Focus.)

(Via Agency Spy.)

Afghanistan rocks.

A break from oil spill pics, I suppose. An intense look at the cost of Afghanistan nonetheless. (That shot on the runway was from Dressed To Kilt, a fashion event sponsored by Glenfiddich supporting the lads & lassies of Wounded Warrior Project, Paralyzed Veterans of America and the Erskine Hospital in Scotland.)

Newcastle Brown Ale - Now with more curry.

And the Indian-themed spots keep coming.

"Have I satisfied your satisfaction?"

Well, at least the heat will be off Metro PCS after Outsourced comes out. SO NBC is tackling the hard issues like outsourcing and Indian call centers. Cue onslaught of accent clichés, stereotypes and whatever else is guaranteed to offend PC ears. The idea of call centers and tech support in general is a rich target. Too bad though this wasn’t on cable because network TV right now is just sucking it. It’s a weird creature that way. Like ABC and CBS, NBC is very hit or miss. Sometimes, they get the tone of things just right (30 Rock). Other times they seem to trip over themselves with broad comedy like this.

Admittedly, the shy girl scene was funny without it being relying on an accent gag, but then later on... it became an accent gag: Different cultures try to understand each other over the phone. SHOUTING ENSUES. Wow. Shock. Awe. *Never* saw that coming. I guess that’s what happens when you mix The Office with Scrubs and a shot of Office Space though. Enjoy!

My first what?

Huggies jeans, kids. You know Depends won’t be too far behind with a pair of these bad boys, except theirs will have the option for older fellas to wear up to their chest.

(Via.)

Well, "Patronising rubbish" may be a bit much.

“Lord Coe, chairman of the London Organising Committee of the Olympic games, defended the mascots, saying they would inspire young people to engage with sport.”

People, relax. Going back to 1968, the Olympics have had more than a few mascots you wanted to punch in the face. I’m guessing London agency Iris was going less for polarizing and more for *uniting* though. Something sufficiently generic enough so as to speak to people from all walks of life, ammirite?

Besides, shouldn’t the supposed 40 focus groups they used have been able to make anything safe?

Wenlock and Mandeville are named Much Wenlock in Shropshire, UK (host site of the precursor to the modern Olympic games), and Stoke Mandeville hospital in Buckinghamshire, UK (the birthplace of the Paralympic Games). Hard to hate on the good intentions behind recognizing paralympians, so I won’t.

Regardless, both figures seem to now have picked up the baton of hate dropped with the introduction of that now infamous 2012 logo three years ago.

On a personal level, the idea of having to sell a global event occurring in effect every two years like you’re selling minor league baseball hits me the wrong way. Sure, marketing has taken over most if not all sports, but there was at least an illusion that you watched the Olympics for the sports–not the logos or costumes. (Figure skating notwithstanding.)

From the perspective of the officials and their goal however: “They are perfect for us because they are perfect for the digital age, and we’re really hopeful that they will chime with children.” They probably will, on Twitter and Facebook and everywhere else they have planned.

This highlights the divide between those kids living la vida digital and those who actually go out and play sports. Again, not to single out Iris here; the Olympics have a history of amorphous global icons. But if the goal is participation in real sports, kids need to unplug.

They identify with the uniforms of their respective countries and the idea of nationalism first, not because the Teletubbies say so. (Didn’t we first watch the Olympics with our parents, maybe even chanting USA! USA! USA!)

I might be wrong, but it just seems no costume figure will get kids playing sports the way their parents will. It would also seem that the way to do that is by appealing to grown-ups as much as the kids.

Who you stop there, goes home?

Look at me with immigration jokes! The ACLU is offering a free bumper sticker if you sign their petition decrying the outrage in Arizona. Outrage I say. (Free sticker for some free outrage seems fair, no?) Sign-ups are here kids. Hurry before the rest of the country bans more stuff having to do with the state.

Oh look, the new Coors work.

SUCKAZ! Sorry, couldn’t resist. While European hoops might be getting better, German rap and beer isn’t an execution I’d expect in the same ad. (Yeah, yeah, I know there are a lot of talented rap artists outside the U.S.) That still doesn’t explain everything going on in this Striker beer spot though yo. Wait, Dabu Fantastic is Swiss? Oh.

Expedia housekeeping want fluff pillow.

Tommy Boy references aside, the pseudo epic, cast of thousands shot in remote area costing god knows how much spot is alive and well, thanks to Expedia and BMF. Okay, so it’s a cast of 256. It’s for Expedia’s foray into the Australia and New Zealand markets: “The company said the imagery aims to convey Expedia’s scale and unique selling proposition as being part of the world’s largest online travel company, while being “uniquely Australasian at the same time.”

I guess. Global themes like this though can be for almost any brand. Expedia only helps facilitate the arrangements—the actual service is up to the hotels et al. and as such, this feels like a hotel spot. (What’s with the sore back stretch thing too. Do they really want to hint at the working conditions of the people who take care of tourists on vacation?) For music junkies, the song is Tend to Me, by Elliott Wheeler. And for snark junkies, it’s amazing how MySpace is perceived as *dead* in social networking circles but somehow keeps managing to provide source material for agencies and commercials.

You generally don't see this much love for bus drivers in America.

Awwww. How can you hate this different approach to celebrating a birthday from transportation service Arriva in Copenhagen? It’s a flashmob that puts a twist on the same old song and dance numbers. The point of the campaign is a better bus ride. (Beats a like on Facebook.) Can you even imagine the MTA doing something like this here? And man, the guy at 1:41... miserable much?

AdVerve 32 - Steve Jobs' Civil War

Play the show now.

It would’ve felt right to also call it the ADD edition because it’s all over the map topically. BUT WE MAKE IT WORK WITH COMMON THREADS. Who else can bridge Steven Jobs’ control freak with the Civil War? Not many. Not that many would try either. We then jump from that bridge into why boomers will never figure out Gen So What, then cap the party off with a look at how laughing out loud, well, it’s good for you AND the French. IT JUST IS.

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Topics:

00:00 – Intro
00:37 – Tech meh
01:07 – Steve Jobs’ Civil War
09:49 – Heads are out
11:42 – Angela’s Diesel rant
19:26 – Art & Copy
22:20 – Kodak, Courtney & memes
30:50 – R.I.P. SNL
31:58 – That damn war
47:31 – Insecure, much?
53:12 – France isn’t happy enough
59:37 – Wrap

Linkage:

• Steve Jobs - Valleywag exchange.
• Confederates in the Attic.
• Whips, aka, heads are out. Seriously.
• The LOL Project.
• Kevin Pollak’s Shatner.
  
• EMPs.
• Art & Copy.
• Courtney Love rebrands.
• The Persuaders.
• Daguerreotypes and other Civil War photographic formats.*
• Edelman: Check-in or check-out.
• The Tweet Museum.

Send questions or comments to advervepodcast [at] gmail [dot] com. You can also leave a review.

*Correction: The good gentleman from Connecticut spoke with haste. It’s silver over copper plates, not aluminum.

But wait, there’s more...

– “It’s the story of a Chinese gorilla who knows karate.” Sold!
– Pizza in Naples cooked with wood from coffins.
– Wounded Platoon.
– Mmmmm.
– 1,000 true fans.
– More mustard, bitch. NOW!
– Cocaine Cowboys field guide to Miami.
– Kids teaching Stephen Hawking’s Time Travel.
– Who ya gonna stall? Ghostbusters attack budget cuts at the New York Public Library.
– Don’t be a FourSquare a-hole.
– 48 hours magazine. No, for real, a mag in 48 hours.
– We sure about that space travel thing?

The LOL project.

And people say I’m too bitter here. HA. This should help those lost souls. Photographer David Ken decided people weren’t laughing enough, so he took time off from paid work and started photographing them. In Paris, in the act of genuine spontaneous human laughter. (As opposed to the other kind.) So far, he has about 750 done and is setting his sites on New York next. People from all walks have taken part, from headbutt king Zenadine Zidane to my AdVerve partner in crime A. Natividad. The mayor of Paris has also agreed to turn the city into his LOL gallery of sorts under the banner “I LOL Paris.” David’s also looking for sponsors and future subjects. Hit him up here if you want to be either. Show love and like him on Facebook too.

They sure eat their own, don't they.

2010 is already awesome just for the attack ads alone. Dems vs GOP. Dems vs. Tea Partiers. GOP vs. GOP. Pick a race and there’s fun for the whole family. Even though Alabama just moved to the front of the awesome line with Dale and his rifle, I sense things are heating up in the congressional race for California’s 19th district. That one’s between Richard Pombo and Jeff Denham. Help Rich with a slogan here, will ya: “Screw Trees,” or “Grow the economy—not trees!” (Eh, the family fear card may be a little over the top.) But, the best use of a slowly approaching RV in a background? Denham ftw! Hey, maybe we should use the first take instead.

Ford Fiesta. Yeah, no, they exist.

The new Fiesta spots are here, the new Fiesta spots are here! Except, that people already knew about the vehicle thanks to Ford’s social efforts with the Ford Fiesta Movement. (Unless you were on vaca with Coco this winter, that was the campaign over the past few months that paved the way among an early-adopting social networking demo.) As for this new campaign, since they didn’t take government money, it doesn’t matter what Ford puts out there, they’re golden it feels like part Honda cog, part VW and part wtf.

It’s definitely a different look for a Ford vehicle compared to their traditional stuff. Don’t try the PK at home kids but you can say hello to 40 mpg though! Cue jangly track by Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeroes, and um, Janglin’. (Two other spots out Ellie and Alex hit their Hispanic demo and have a different vibe. For more on Ford’s social push, check out last week’s AdVerve with Scott Monty.)

They’re also splitting up the campaign online and running webisodes that go head to head with a Yaris and a Fit touting the key FOB feature. Comes in handy against zombies apparently:



Whereas I hated their previous attempt at the web series thing, this one feels like they got it right. As for 40 mpg and under $14K? Zombies or not, they’ll probably sell a bunch of these.