Hooray for horror hosts.

JOE BOB BRIGGS? Do you recall, y’all? He and other horror show greats are the focus of the documentary American Scary. WATCH WITH THE LIGHTS ON. (Also available on iTunes.)

(Via.)

Btw...

- Who was John Young and why was he jumping so high.
- New eminently smackable word: Awaring.
- Hype.
- Monkey Kingdom Theme Park.
- Wait, here’s an even better theme: Cornography.
- BK dethrones The King.
- This would be perfect for another theme restaurant, if, you know, we still had them. DISGRACED POLITICAL LEADERS. (Although, Centaurant has a nice ring.)
- Gerber’s creepy kids.

Hemingway’s Moleskin.

AND OTHERS. “I intend to travel and write.” (And, oh, by the way, maybe end it all too.”) I ADDED THAT PART. Check out the other wild physician-like scratchings of 20 famous dudes who you’re not.

(Via.)

AdVerve 73 - AdVerve 73: World O’ Wheaton

Play the show now.

Alongside special guest Ken Wheaton (@kenwheaton), we cover stuff from book publishing and promoting, to the rise and further decline of American airline service, to whether advertising will protect us from the maniacal ambitions of Donald Trump. (Angela tries broaching the topic of The Royal Wedding, but ultimately fails to make it stick.)

There's also a smidge more Southern Comfort for those of you riding Bill’s ongoing fascination with his new homeland.

Linksomania:

- Ken Wheaton’s blog
- Ken's Book, The First Annual Grand Prairie Rabbit Festival - get it before Amazon runs out!
- Advertising May Be the Thing that Saves Us from Donald Trump
- TINY MINY MINUTE SUITES

(Image.)

(Via.)

“You have to drive through us to get somewhere better.”

And other fun state mottos that aren’t, but should be.

Because freedom means cheaper mattresses?

Not sure why Macy’s always gets the most ire from me on Memorial Day – oh wait, I know – because they run the most TV spots? Others are guilty of it too but it would be nice if brands would simply start running their logo with “In honor of those who gave the ultimate sacrifice,” I just might hate their attempts to save us money on a solemn day.

The way they were.

Hot sexy telemobilecom fun with AT&T from 1996.

I can’t believe it’s not better.

Actually, I can. Their stats are wrong though. After watching, 4 out of 5 ad bloggers want to punch the screen.

“I’ll be there Monday if nuthin’ don’t happen.”

Holy shit does that sound too eeriely* true (now that I’m down here, y’all). Another instant classic from Rhett & Link? YOU DECIDE. Please, make #trashicorn trending on Twitter.

*Is eeriely a word?

(Via Adfreak.)

“Flashmob moved to 12:30.”

Good to see flashmobs taking a hit instead of social network themes for a change. AT&T’s service is dial-up quality where I am but I DO LOVE THIS SPOT.

SHUT THE HELL UP.

I was thinking, how could I make this annoying Sprint Samsung spot even more annoying. Oh, hey, I know, embed a clip from someone who recorded it by hand. (In my rush to be annoyed, anon points out it is in fact NOT a Sprint spot. They have one out I like actually like WHICH I WILL NOW GO FIND.)

Can you stand it?

Can you? EXTREME STANDING! For XSI Sports Insurance.

Btw...

- Like, omg, totally?
- HEY, PAY ATTENTION. (Via.)
- I don't know, I hate Opera, so there. (Agency: Beam http://www.beamland.com/)
- And then your head explodes from the headache.
- Beer Case study!

I love it when a van comes together.

Helping my Southernificational metamorphosis is some awesome copywriting courtesy of a local plumber’s van I saw in a strip mall. Hot damn! Click image for copy goodness. I PITY THE STOOL. Retro is definitely in because THEY HAVE A PACER TOO.

Contextual madness.

Maybe I’ll change the name of this series to “Stay classy, ad networks!”

Make Opie’s movie.

HE HATES BEING CALLED THAT. (Ron and I go way back.) But go ahead anyway and submit a photo, and Mr. Howard will be making a movie based on an idea from – wait for it – eight user-submitted images. Long way to go for Canon to get placement, but whatever.

PR Tour de Lance.

Best way to counter a negative 60 Minutes report before it comes out? GO ON THE OFFENSIVE! Lance Armstrong presents the facts at Facts 4 Lance.

With summer approaching, remember snow safety is no laughing matter.

In lieu of lengthy treatises on social meida blah blah blah, I'm loading you kids up on sugar with some interesting in-between meal snacks. LIKE GEDDY LEE SNOW SAFETY VIDEOS. The HELL? I do love The Rush™ though, so this one’s going into the trophy case.

“I SHOOT CAR FUEL COSTS IN THE ASS.”

Was it you who needed a whole lotta awesome today? WELL I DELIVER. It’s what I do. Moving quickly to the front of the amazing website line is Lingscars.com. Every click a winner, every headline a keeper. If you can find a better site that loops nuclear proliferation in with a no money down offer, I’ll give you free car mats. Enjoy!*

(Via.)

*The blue in the headline is just me highlighting the text to improve the visual experience for y’all

United we land.

Bad week for United apparently. If we can keep Jordan’s number retired, how hard can flight numbers be. Now this. Although this poster is a really messed up placement at Ground Zero, blame the agency who posted it.

The original iPad.

White wigs sold separately.

Learning you some good.

The Information Blanket seems like such a simple idea to combat infant mortality and parental ignorance. I really do hope it works.

That’s a lot of agencies.

Is it the most complete ad agency list ever? Eh, not really, but it’s damn-ass big.*

*New pseudo-Southern phrase to keep me from saying “Fixin’” which I refuse to give in and say... just yet.

The Great Depression – now in technicolor!

Recently released color images of the Great Depression are pretty striking and puts the usual B&W images everyone sees in a new light.

(Via Drudge Report.)

Kids who smoke are our future.

Another anti-smoking PSA, because nobody in advertising smokes. 

(Agency: Euro RSCG 360.)

Overheard internet...

Yep, they wrote it...


“Quote of the year..  “Thanking Obama for killing Bin Laden is like going into McDonalds and thanking Ronald McDonald for the hamburger. It’s the guy cooking the burger that should get the credit, not the clown.”
– beedogss


“I see all this potential, and I see it squandered. God damn it, an entire generation selling ads, making social media startups – slaves with white collars. Internet hype has us chasing VCs and tweets, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don't need. We're the middle children of history, man. No purpose or place. We have no AI Winter. No Project MAC. Our great war is a spiritual war. Our great depression is our lives. We've all been raised on television to believe that one day we'd all be Zuckerbergs, and Bill Gateses, and rock star programmers, but we won't. We're slowly learning that fact. And we're very, very pissed off.”
– jff


“Vaseline makes you do the human flag.”
– hlggizmo

Btw...

- Duuuuude. (Via.)
- Interesting payoff.
- It doesn’t matter that I hate Subaru.
- Climacool.
- App stop sign app stop.

End of Days now coming to an outdoor near you.

I’d make the url bigger, BUT THAT’S JUST ME. Wait, I’m confused, is the end of days next week or in October? I’m driving through the Bible Belt and seeing these outdoor signs and I JUST DON’T KNOW. What if I order a t-shirt now, will it arrive in time for the end? Guess I don’t have to worry about 2012 now.

Some of us are looking at the sky.

I had only seen this this link but screw it, check out all the rest on Joe Davis’ dude’s site. Make more stuff like that. (Via.)

If it looks like a Gilbert, and it sounds like a...

Hire Gottfried back.

BenTV.

DIRECTV’s Ben Franklins scare the shit out of me.

Btw...

- The Voice Project. (Via.)
- Strong is beautiful.
- I’ll take my ring, over cheesy.
- Russian anything.
- The art of Graceland.

I'll threaten to kill her but I won’t.

Will HBO Go compete with Netflix? It doesn’t have to. THEY’RE HBO - THEY OWN THE WORLD ALREADY. They’re like the Google of cable. Enjoy you some promo spots while I drive 800 miles in a 16' POS U-Haul.

But is it mobile-friendly?

It is! Biketek is proof that the web is shrinking back on itself to a place of simple text on a screen and no links. 
(Via.)

We make legalese legalEASY.

Digging these :30 promos for TNT’s latest series Franklin & Bash. Wish they weren’t so slick and had more of a Hammer video look to them., but I’ll take them. More vidness here.

Btw...

- Copywriters, GET YOU SOME.
- Steem ’em if ya got ’em.
- ¡El Pescao - Buscando el Sol!
- Eat toast with message for breakfast – it’s healthier!
- Beer spanker.

Turkey now using school kids to power their country.

Did you know wind power was big in Turkey? WHY ARE THOSE KIDS GOING TO SCHOOL AT NIGHT? Breath here and find out more about Magical Windification Power.

Philly loves everyone.

Except New Yorkers. I guess in the remake Rocky runs up the stairs with Apollo? HE CAN’T, BECAUSE APOLLO’S DEAD. So much for that scenario. But there are others in the 15th anniversary of ads for the Philadelphia tourism office. Wait, here’s another: PHILLY’S MORE FUN WHEN THEY DON’T BOOT MY FUCKING CAR. A little long for an outdoor but it has attitude, no?

They call it a flashmob.

Since they won’t stop, neither will I. Flashmob America attacks NYC with the magic above.

Beancast - You Can Turn It On Its Side

Aka, the only benefit to owning a Crackberry. Among other topics, we beat the shit out of Facebook and Pepsi, something we’re pretty good at. A good vibe was had by all. Joining in were joke book havin’ Saul Colt of Freshbooks, Åsk Wäppling, Adland.tv CEO and Marketing Over Coffee host John Wall. (Show notes here.)

Download the show now or listen through iTunes.

Tags: Beancast

Btw...

- I gave up after :43 seconds; too much work.
- Groupon’s G-spot.
- Ikea Manuals for props from science fiction movies. (Via.)
- Google globally Googlized.

A master of cold you can believe in.

Is Colorado’s Breckenridge Brewery ‘Beervertising’ a little forced? As a name, maybe, but the overall tone of the spots is the low-key approach Sam Adams has wanted to own but can no longer lay claim to. YOU LIKE THEM TOO. (More after the jump.)

They call it a viral.

Checking out the new David Beckham/Sofia Vergara Diet Pepsi spot and came across a *behind the scenes* clip. Yikes. Why does it seem like Pepsi can’t get out of its own way no matter what genre it touches. No wonder Coke owns them. Forget Coke and look at Nike. Tiger stands there without talking and does a golf club trick he’s done since he was young. Multiple takes notwithstanding, you’re still left with the coolness of the moment. Beckham though barely starts to juggle the ball the way kids are taught early on and the 'camera man’ practically loses it

“I never knew Michael Bolton was this F*CKING COOL!” (NSFW.)

So says YouTube. (Me neither.) Drop it like it’s hot because here’s ya boy as Jack Sparrow with The Lonely Island crew. Word. I don’t mind saying that while I like the left turn towards Shatner/Hoff™ territory, Bolton with dark hair is unsettling.

Chase channels Inception.

Saw this older JPMorgan Chase spot running during the Celtics/Heat game and Holy Hot Inception Animation Mess, Batman. Lot of stuff going on in this thang.

Hey look, bombs we dropped.

Leave it to the French to have a nuclear blast with flair though. (Via.)

Super Bad?

G’s new commercial? Not bad, but it does feel like James Brown got let down.

WHEN YOU MASTER COLD...

COLD WILL NO LONGER BE... YOUR MASTER? Oh there’s a lot of history in the latest Master of Cold series from Coors Light. (Most Interesting Man, Old Spice Guy and my personal fav Wendell.) Via YouTube Nation:

“to all american beer companies: stop insulting the collective male intelligence with your STUPID FUCKING ADS. -- even if your beer DIDN'T taste like shit, i still wouldn't drink it because of these MORONIC ADVERTISEMENTS and CRAPPY PACKAGING GIMMICKS! -- not to mention this is a blatant rip of the old spice guy... -- sorry to get so indignant, but this commercial sucks on so many levels...” - deliman

“Definitely ripping off the Old Spice commercial. But I gotta admit, that is a super hot hottie.” - cheekbrown

Where the planes are always on time.

And no cranky flight attendant on everyone’s ass to find their seats right away. $4.3 million dollars, taking seven years to make. That’s a lotta free time on someone’s hands. HELP ME OUT YOUTUBE:

“five million dollars to build. putting it in the hands of a few five year old kids and watching it all go up in flames while staring at the owners face PRICELESS.”

(Via.)

Profiles in courage.

Names from around the net, YouTube edition:

- VaginalFlu.
- NonLiteraryDisaster.
- batpoo117. (Okay, timeout, there were 116 others taken?)
- SurvivedAbortion1.
- MagicalWafflesOfLove.

The way they were.

Oh, hey now, hot sexy NASCAR fun from 1996.

I’m not just fencing... I’m fencing with laser chimps.

I wish. Or, if you need less violence in your Dairy Queen commercial... Kitten bubbles! (After the jump.)

You kids quit that cycling in the hallways.

What has three wheels but like two are not straight while the third is, and it's bigger than the others, and you can spin around in circles or you can... NEVERMIND. It’s a Big Wheel on steroids. IT’S CYCOCYCLE! IT SLICES. IT DICES. It freaks school janitors out. IT’S ON FACEBOOK AND THE TWITTER!

(Agency: York & Chapel.)

He once chased lions, just to see how it felt.

We got some mileage on the campaign now but it’s still holding steady. (Another after the jump.)

Btw...

- Product placement placed.
- Allstate has good hands.
- Art directors & designers, get you some scholarship.
- Introducing the 2011 Ford Puppet.
- Cute, but I hate the name, and this is still the best slice of kitchen life series ever.
- Xoom needs to lose the audio.

Now what.

Lot of people waiting for this moment for a long time. It’s odd though, bittersweet in many ways, as after nearly a decade, the promise of revenge was finally realized. *Justice* may have been the weapon of choice to convince a country to go to war as the rest of us went on with our lives shopping, but this was always about revenge.

“We make burgers.”

Why is this message so hard to pull off? Hardee’s is *getting* to that place that Wendy’s and other food porn-favoring brands aim for (the ones with their ‘Gosh!’ fake bullshit personas), but it doesn’t feel quite there yet. They resurrect what Sonic was aiming for in some of its recent attack spots and their playful tone, so I like that. Still, it’s a message anyone in the industry should own though, where things are played unapologetically straight. Problem is, everyone in this category just can’t avoid having some kind of beer angle slash humorous edge to the execution. Wendy’s should take a campaign and approach it like the Ford F-150: We make damn good burgers. No apologies. Stop with the stunts and cute bullshit.

(Agency: David&Goliath.) (Via.)

Btw...

- Giving a bird the bird.
- Trip Your Face.
- Axe stays dirty.
- Sugar sues sugar.

Eyes up here, please.

On the Dallas Mavericks Jumbotron that is. My eyes wish I hadn’t seen this.

(Via.)

Every diaper is precious.

Love the overall message in this Pampers effort, but it sure feels like they’re skating too close to the 800 lb right to life gorilla in the room. By not discussing it, your mind just automatically goes there. Then they mention the issue of race. Why go even go there?

Signage of the times.

Maybe they’re organic? (Via.)

Btw...

- Best bathroom mural ever?
- It’s a church dance party! (Via.)
- Man-ty hose. (Via.)
- Keyboard pants. (Via.)
- iPants. (Via.)

It’s more Coachella madness.

Insanely busy lately, so you get more pics than words kids. Another set of Coachella madness uploaded. Is the green suit guy your favorite? HE JUST MAY BE.