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Friday, March 17, 2006

Job Opening: Spam Copywriter

Who doesn’t want to add 10 inches to their PhD when they invest in overseas real estate? Hey, I don’t mind spam, as long as it’s written well. Most spam isn’t however. Almost every subject line I see looks like someone dropped a kickball on a keyboard and went with the first combination of letters that came up. Can’t we get some copywriters to help out? The following spam I received shows the depth of the problem.

(Oh, and if you were kind enough to send me any of it, I would be remiss if I didn’t share your name and email with the world, seeing that you felt it important enough to share your valuable ‘once-in-a-lifetime offer’ with me.) [My comments in brackets]

Gibbs Golden says: She was doing well after the surgery...
[Glad to hear it. Thought it was touch and go for a while.]

Susanna Gage tells me there’s a: New Breed of Equity Trader
[Susanna Gage - UFC Stock Champion!]

YSavannahDeczkyi5@hawk.igs.net from K-PAX says: it's Gaultiero recriminatory
[Ok, timeout. What the fuck does that even mean?]

Andra-fStoneg6@exis.net: Siegfried Bottoms elmer
[see above]

Bhtxsn@ambassadordivers.com wants me to know: it cough so clinic uncompromising
[Yes it does, doesn’t it.]

Pennington_Brockv@esbe.co.uk warns: apostrophe policemen suntanning
[Apparently, the UK has a few bobbies possessive about their SPF.]

WeKarlenTw@imailbox.net warns: it's calcium Georgianna
[That's why you keep breaking your hip - you don’t take enough.]

BwShellysheldonVz@ghg.net lites it up when he says: Cameron, in cannabis chemistry
[Duuuuuuuuuude!]

I think after reading, you’ll agree: if we all act fast, we can improve spam for all of us. Won’t you please help? After all, a 10" PhD is a terrible thing to waste.

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2 comments:

Unknown said...

What if google starts to open up social networking sites with other brand name organizations using google accounts, and allowing other companies to use their vast infracstructure not only for search, but now their personalized home page, orkut, gmail, groups, video, and so on

Anonymous said...

Then those brands get access to a huge consumer databse, courtesy of Google.