Ode to a four-legged friend.

There are the things you miss you think would matter most in life in setting up a new apartment.

Such as an internet connection. Perhaps cable TV. What about reliable cellphone service? An Aerobed to sleep on even.

Maybe a Starbucks nearby, (drive-up or not, it doesn’t matter).

Don’t forget the shower curtain.

All important things to be sure. But one thing beats them every single time, especially if you don’t have one:

The simplicity of a chair.

Not a Lazy Boy. Not an Ikea balsa special. Just a folding chair.

That’s all I ask.

You comfort me when milkcrates mock me.

You give me strength – and height. The height I need to reach the ceiling to install a hook.

But without you, I am nothing.

Sitting cross-legged Indian-style was cool in 3rd grade. Less so when you had your first aparment/dorm.

But now?

It sucketh.

Why? Try arranging for that cellphone service, an internet connection or cable TV without a place to sit when customer service puts your wait at longer than 10 minutes – then disconnects you at minute seven.

Try hanging a plant. Try finding somewhere to set your coffee besides the floor it just got knocked over on.

So I come not to bury you, but to buy you. $8 at Target. ($17 for full vinyl covering.) All pay heed.

In closing, allow me to say, if the CIA is having trouble getting information from detainees in Cuba? Forget playing them Huey Lewis 24/7.

Take away their chairs.

Tags: advertising, brands, Target