“I’m New Jersey governor Jon Corzine–dumbass.”

Tim at AdFreak has a clip of the gov’s recent apology video where he admits he should’ve worn his seatbelt. Just in time for Memorial Day weekend and the ‘Click It or Ticket’ campaign that will be ramping up across the country. But this spot addresses only part of the issue: it’s meaningless in preventing accidents. Especially when you consider the cause of this one: cell phone use. His driver, a trooper, was supposedly texting the husband of the woman he was having an affair with when the accident happened–doing approximately 90 mph. Dumbass the sequel.

(State laws vary. That’s the other problem. For those outside the Garden State, the only way you can get a ticket here for driving while on your cell is if an officer spots you doing another crime at the same time.)

What a joke. If cops need an ATM, they would make it illegal–period. Then they could sit there at checkpoints–like they do for DUI–and just pull over people on their cells. They’d make a year’s quota in one day. There are simply too many a-holes on their phones driving and weaving, slowing, speeding up, etc. I’m more than a little fed up with all the near-misses of either me walking in parking lots or when I’m driving. My pledge of Kwality to cell phone users everywhere: If I do finally get hit by one of you, and even if it’s a scratch, you will pay.

So after calming down for a sec, a suggestion: take advantage of the GPS system that tracks people on their cells during 911 calls. Eventually, it will become standard for all cell use. Have realtime tracking and block any signal that is not a 911 call while the vehicle is in motion. (Link to Google maps so pedestrians on sidewalks would be distinguished from vehicles on streets.) Want to use the phone? Pull over. This could work. We have the satellites, the supercomputers and more than enough Mt. Dew-fueled MIT geeks. Let’s start using them. And before someone brings up how the ACLU would never go for this kind of monitoring. Ok, lemmee stop laughing for a sec. Ya’ really think we aren’t already being monitored?