Hey there sexy hands.

When it comes to inspirational messages and compelling copy, nothing gives the Department of Motor Vehicles and its “Hang in there baby!” employee mindset a run for the money like the healthcare industry:

“Picture yourself with the most physically gorgeous person that your mind can conceive. Get a picture of the proportioned feminine curves, or the ideally muscled masculine frame. Look at the way your vision of perfection walks, sits, breathes. See the candlelight reflected in the deep pools of their eyes. Visualize the hair, the lips, the neck . . . all intensely stimulating.

Now picture that person in a neck-snapping, phlegm-flying sneeze. Picture their puffy eyes and encrusted, runny nose. Picture that person vomiting, and not just a little, but their entire candlelit dinner. Get a sense of the acrid flatulence, and the rotting-raccoon-in-the-attic smell that lingers long after one of their frequent (and LOUD) trips to the bathroom. Pause a moment and soak all that in. Still stimulated?”

Oh man, even more than ever now, please, don’t stop.

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