Conversation is nice, customer service is nicer-The Greeter.

(Part 2 in a series on customer service. Part 1 here.)

Yeah, you know them. You walk into a Walmart and they’re right up front as you come in. “Hello, how are you!” Maybe they smile, more often than not though, they kinda smile. Lowe’s* and Home Depot have them. Best Buy too. Before you neg me for hating the kindly folk assigned this duty, I do recognize the attempt to harken back to a time when the customer was king!

Problem is, I go into the store for one thing: to be left alone. I do not want to feel obligated to do anything, from buying to saying hello back. If I say hello to you first, then you can reply. (Maybe I’m still holding a grudge because you vaporized my local hardware store, the one where everyone knew my name?)

I probably wouldn’t mind as much if The Greeter actually looked like they wanted to be there. Smile much? As it is, they don’t want to be there anymore than I want to have to say hello. I understand the logic: Bring back a sense of customer service from the days of Ozzie and Harriet, where they helped you out to your car with your bags.

In larger stores like Home Depot or Walmart, greeting duty might be split up, one when you enter, one when you leave.

Problem is, the greeters in some chains might also be profiling certain shoppers upon leaving. Some get stopped while others do not. If my card went through at the register already, and your cashier saw that it did, then why are you stopping me? I didn’t suddenly sneak a 42” plasma in my bag.

The variation on The Greeter? The annoying greeter.

I find this sub-species at Hollywood Video and Best Buy. A smile just as you enter a store is one thing, but this group lets you get 10 feet into the store and says loudly across several people “How ya doing today!” Like, I‘m supposed to stop, turn and start a conversation up? I just might have to one time if only I wasn’t always in a hurry. Again, see above: Need to be left alone.

Conversely, I’ve been in line when said cashiers have to pull Annoying Greeter duty and yell out to everyone coming in. Excuse me. Over here. Focus. I’m paying for your time. Don’t be cheating on me with other customers.

What makes this worse is when you don’t find what you need, possibly after spending 20-30 minutes too, and you leave. Pissed. Guess who’s waiting at the front of the store to say “Have a nice day!”

Yeah, you know who.

(Coming in part 3: - The Helper)

*I know what you’re going to say: “Dude, just don’t shop there.” Fair enough, but dude, you don’t understand: I live where there is nowhere else to shop. Lowe’s corporate has me in their grip.