Overheard internet.

Cool, honest or sad—you decide:
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“So it's like blogging, only less profitable?” – sample032
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“Opportunity knocks but once. Opportunism just stands there with its thumb on the doorbell.” – hildutus
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“It’s heartening to me that there are people who cling to guns and religion. In addition to one’s family, they are the only things worth clinging to. What do you and Obama cling to? Nothing?” – Mark
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“Twitter is news like masturbating is sex...” – bhageman
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“What is it about toilet facilities in Minnesota that makes people want to have promiscuous sex? ” – Spooky Boyfriend
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“8 year old who can count to 1000 is a genius. Einstein is back.” – TheDeviLLiveD
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“An Iowa employer can terminate any at-will employee (without consequence) for any reason so long as the employee isn't a member of a protected class and/or engaging in protected activity. Being a skank doesn't constitute membership in a protected class; getting your groove on in a public restroom doesn't necessarily constitute protected activity (unless he wrapped up).” – MrMojo
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“Scamp, you're such a bastard. I'm a rapper. I don't even hum other peoples music. I know how fiddy feels, I go to silent clubs. I rap internally so no one can hear my shit. I'm not even recording my next album. It's 3.0.” – Nelly