Final predictions. Super Bowl winners and losers.

All the pre-game talk about the two teams and about which ads will run, or all the talk after they run and how they did, but nobody ever predicts how they ads will actually do ahead of time. Sokay, Sobe it, I’ll take a stab at it. I’ve seen only one or two spots if that, but that’s still not the same as seeing them in the context of the game with other spots around them or the public weighing in on YouTube. (Past performance not being an indicator of future Super Bowl advertising success and all, all the Monday morning QBs are free to come back and laugh at my predictions.)

My rating system is based on how it will do, not the quality of the spot: pos, neg or neutral, (neutral as in, didn't hurt the brand, but didn’t knock it out of the park.) I based it on every brand running on Ad Age’s preview list, so if you think I missed a brand, just throw it in the comments.

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Anheuser-Busch - Beer. Guys. Humor. Clydesdales. InBev new owner. Hard to mess that formula up.
Rating: neutral-pos

Audi - More auto porn for guys.
Rating: neutral

Bridgestone - Talking animals has to figure in here somewhere.
Rating: neutral

CareerBuilder - I love W+K, but you had me at chimps. You lost me and America without them.
Rating: neg-neutral

Cars.com - Brand strikes me as being full of itself after last year’s spots, dunno why.
Rating: neg

Cash4Gold.com - I actually think these spots will be some of the most talked about.
Rating: pos

Castrol Motor Oil - Motor oil. Sexy.
Rating: neutral

Coca-Cola Co. - Will hit that shit out of the park. (Or win by four TDs since we’re talking football.)
Rating: pos

Denny's - Eh, liked the first spot I saw yesterday. New direction for them. Almost does it.
Rating: neutral to pos

DreamWorks Animation/PepsiCo's SoBe - Yawn. Will be very anti-climatic because of all the hype now.
Rating: neg

E-Trade Financial - Speaking of, Look Who’s Yawning.
Rating: neg-neutral

PepsiCo's Frito-Lay: Cheetos - Will be odd and stand out.
Rating: pos

PepsiCo's Frito-Lay: Doritos - Look Who’s Talking about loser-generated content: Nobody anymore.
Rating: neg

General Electric - Awwww. Technology and people. Together for a better tomorrow. Same old, same old.
Rating: neutral

GoDaddy - They should just merge with Bud.
Rating: neg

H&R Block - Look at tax preparation services! All crazy! Not so much this year.
Rating: neutral

Hulu - Wild card here. As a TV network online, how do you reach people off? By doing something out there on the Super Bowl—with CP+B.
Rating: pos

Hyundai - I’ve heard one of the themes from them in local radio spots, (paying for your car if you lose your job), and to me it's a solid way to go. Any automaker who thinks they’ll just swoop in and take advantage of the Big Three sitting out this year by running crazy spots will hurt their brands. Honest, direct messages that recognize the economy’s problems will resonate.
Rating: pos

Kellogg - How do you mess up cereal?
Rating: neutral-pos

Miller - Not listed but they’re running a series of 1-second spots. It’s something that’s been done in the past before by other brands like Netflix with leftover time, but Miller will get a little WTF? factor from it here by going after Bud.
Rating: neutral

Monster - Using TV as way to drive people to a website. I’ve never heard of that before.
Rating: neg-neutral

NFL - Hard to mess this brand up. Feel-good stories with legendary ad director.
Rating: neutral - pos

Paramount Pictures - When’s the last time you went nuts over a movie trailer?
Rating: neg

Pedigree - Awwwwwww again. America loves cute puppies. Mess this up and you should be put in a cage naked with bacon and pit bulls. (Wait, sounds like a PETA spot actually). Wait again, get the bacon ready because they’ll be walking away from the tone established with Dog’s Rule in favor of live action gags and cgi animals breaking through walls.
Rating: neutral

PepsiCo Beverages - Yawn. Although I should give them a pos just for not having Britney this year. Overall, the 3-D spot will be hit and miss. How can it not when everyone in the audience won’t be able to see the thing that is supposed to make it stand out? I don’t see people being so crazy for glasses that they fall over themselves to go get a pair.
Rating: neutral

Sony Pictures - Seriously, again. Movie attendance is down and we’re watching trailers? Do something new, please.
Rating: neg

Taco Bell - Hmm, yeah, lol, okay. Whatever. Next.

Teleflora - I’m not sure they have enough brandness to them to compete, but, before Valentine’s Day and millions of guys watching? A no-brainer as far as placement.
Rating: pos

Toyota Motor Sales USA - They don’t need to do something amazing because they’re the only ones there. Like I said, all an automaker has to do this year is not fumble. Don’t be cute and keep it on the ground. So act like you’ve been there before. (Like the football metaphors? Layin’ them on pretty good for you people.)
Rating: neutral

Universal Orlando Resort - An “unprecedented offer” awaits America. Well, it better be with a promise like that. Either a free vacation for everyone who calls a special number in the next five minutes, or significant reduction on one. Otherwise, Houston Florida, you have a problem.
Rating: pos

NBC Universal's Universal Pictures - Again, movie trailers. Who cares.
Rating: neg

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Tags: #superads09