More fun with press releases.

Where I share with you the long-running battle of press release madness. If I have to suffer and read it, so do you. As usual, no links to the article online, the product’s website nor images. This time, FIRE ANT SPRAY CLAIMS! Looks like Yaz isn’t the only one caught making unsupported claims. The important part you want is in red. (More snark post-release.)

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For Immediate Release

NAD REVIEWS ADVERTISING FOR SCOTT’S FIRE ANT KILLER

NAD Recommends Maker of Miracle-Gro Products Discontinue Claim at Issue

New York, NY – March 3, 2009 – The National Advertising Division of the Council of Better Business Bureaus has recommended that Scotts Miracle-Gro Company discontinue the advertising claim that “Nothing works faster and last longer” than the company’s Ortho MAX Fire Ant Killer.

NAD, the advertising industry’s self-regulatory forum, examined advertising for the product following a challenge by Tech Pac LLC, the maker of Garden Tech Over ‘n Out! Fire Ant Killer.

At the outset, the advertiser asserted that certain claims at issue in the challenge had been permanently discontinued prior to NAD’s inquiry, including the claims:

“One application provides season long control – nothing lasts longer!”
“With Ortho MAX Fire Ant Killer, I put it down and it started killing them immediately.”

“One application Suppresses Fire Ants for One Year” and “Kills on contact.”

“One year control guaranteed.”

“One year control.”

“Kills the Queen in 24 hours.”

“Up to 8x Faster than Amdro or Over ‘n Out!”

Based on the advertiser’s representation, NAD limited its review to the claim that:

“Nothing works faster and lasts longer.”

NAD determined that the claim at issue could be understood by consumers to mean that no other product works faster or lasts longer than Ortho MAX Fire Ant Killer, a parity claim unsupported by the evidence in the record. NAD recommended the company discontinue the claim.

The company, in its advertiser’s statement, said that it has discontinued the claim at issue. The company noted that, while it “respectfully disagrees” with certain of NAD’s findings, it “will take NAD's recommendations into account in its future advertising for the product.”

NAD's inquiry was conducted under NAD/CARU/NARB Procedures for the Voluntary Self-Regulation of National Advertising. Details of the initial inquiry, NAD's decision, and the advertiser's response will be included in the next NAD/CARU Case Report.

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I hope you appreciate the hell I sort through every single day. It’s like rinsing the vegetables off. Look, I’m trying to keep you from eating sand. First, no ad blog in the world would care about this unless there was a link to clips of homegrown solutions for killing fire ants. (Wait, you mean, like this?) Second, my solution if your spray won’t last? Easy. Move. Otherwise, two words: flamethrower. Who cares about the copy on the spray can, just add lighter for maximum fun! Because when your bullet copy won’t do the job, nothing lasts longer than a scorched earth policy.

(Image via.)