Overheard internet.

Because the internet is cool, honest or sad:
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“I had a college friend who got arrested for wandering into some girls apartment and passing out on her couch. She then wrote a rant about it on Craigslist. seriously, people.” – Thistledew
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“iphone, trust me guys its waterproof go try it!” – Seightan
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“I hate the damn multigrain commercial. If that woman was my wife, I'd slap the shit out of her. although, im 15.. but either way, she's a bitch. For the love of God, let the man talk! That commercial made me stay away from cheerios. Damnit, she's a itch. Assuming things without fucking listening to a damn word. Dickhole.” – untypoed

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“tracy morgan is one of the greatest atheletes of all time” – caveman357
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“We're going backwards. In the old days, they used to call these "telegrams," and they were delivered at your door. You paid by the word so you kept it simple.” – russianhiller
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“Cornell took it to 11 here. Just needed two more base players and a violin.” – xhyio
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“This makes sense now. I always thought red barchetta was the name of his uncles tractor... Which I though was quite a crap thing to write a song about. I guess I don't really pay much attention to the lyrics in rush songs.” – brownpants69
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“I'd go and inject him personally if it would make him hit in the playoffs” – tophermurphy
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“ok i dont reli know bout him.” – 1leahlolly