advertising and other stuff. no, really.

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

WANTED: Social Media Expert to Help Write Ad For Social Media Expert.

Are you social? Are you into media? Are you an expert? Combine all three and apply now, bitches! Attention Web 2.0 freaks: Right now someone in your neighborhood is hiring. If that is, you’re an expert and social. Qualifications? Let’s look, k? [As always, bracketing the snark for your safety and protection.]

Social Media Web 2.0 EXPERT. [Mere upper & lower case experts need not apply.]
Facile with all aspects of online marketing and PR.
Can create social communities using all available technologies. [Just whip out the new ComBuilder model #300 from Makita, available at Social Media Depot.]
Knows how to get social and create viral-worthy marketing campaigns that generate buzz, participation and leads! [Doesn’t have to actual go viral, just needs to be viral-worthy. Oh, and leads? That’s SO pre-Web 1.0, innit!]

Specific expertise in:
- In depth understanding of Facebook and Facebook applications, Twitter and Tweet apps, Myspace, back linking and blogging. [I back link often when I’m not backpacking. When I’m not doing that? I’m in-depthing myself with the Facebook and the Twitter.]
- Conducting blogger outreach to promote contests and sweeps. [Because that’s all bloggers are good for. Everyone knows this!]
- Crafting new social networking opportunities. [Like, Pet project of mine that was a cross between and craigs misc. encounters section. Just needed some angel funding.]
- Analyzing trends and behavior stats. [What, no targeting of demos?]

[End of snark!]

So, expert seekers, you already lost if this is how you plan to seach for your next guru. (Least you didn’t use that word.) And if this is an agency in Fairfield County that I already know about, hmmm, then I don’t actually because you don’t even list an agency url. Not. Cool. Besides, if you know me, you know that’s exactly what I’d say about anyone writing like that trying to demonstrate their knowledge of the space. As they say on craigs, your url gets mine! Email me though, and maybe I can help rework it for ya. I got spare time!

(Tip via.)

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