Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Way too easy for me to say 1-10: IT SUCKS. But I can’t do that to my loyal readers. I just can’t.
1) A 24’ moving truck parks wherever it wants—no matter how far it sticks out.
2) You’re cutting something the first day. Finger, arm, shin. Pick one.
3) Any blanket in your house just got recruited. To protect chairs there so we don’t have to protect them here.
4) Contents will shift during move. Like the gas propane tank now lodged against the truck’s rear door, all because one Rubbermaid container of records gave way, toppling six others. Subsequently, the use of a 2x4 to pry open said door being the only remedy.*
5) Oh, you can try and hold the gas pedal all way down to go faster, but that didn’t really work back then either.
6) After using it once, you will put an automatic lift tailgate on everything you own.
7) Manville™ admission requirement #34: Handle one or more emergencies while in the middle of lifting boxes. Unjamming shredder in the middle of a three-Rubbermaid container shred? Check.
8) Empty truck on the Westchester Expressway? Mosh. Pit.
9) Any item your kids grew up with and which your spouse holds fond memories of? Will be lodged between a bookcase and about to fall chair when she’s not looking.
10) It sucks.
*This after a thought only guys would have flashes in your head: “HEY, what if I just get in and lurch the truck forward, then hit the brakes. Everything HAS to shift forward away from the door, right?”
Posted 9:23 AM