I’m sorry, what? For pharma?

Now they’re just messing with me. The Nuvaring spot is up for a Clio. The one that started as a poorly animated spot, then was reborn as live-action the next time out. That Nuvaring? The Nuvaring allegedly responsible for several deaths due to heart-attack Nuvaring?

Since there’s now a Clio Awards for pharma, excuse me “healthcare,” why not just have one for FSIs while we’re at it. (Save the date and save your emails because I know a lot of amazingly smart people who work in pharma, so this isn’t a dig at all creatives in that area of the biz.)

However, awarding what is essentially an account-driven/managed/stomped/product-recalled segment of the industry “that’s different from other products” kills me. (Actually, it kills others because the FDA appears to have a problem with brands rushing products to market thanks to lobbyists.)

That one nomination says all I need to know about the current state of award shows though. Because now you’re just awarding the best of the rest in a category that legitimately deserves no respect. It’s a creative black hole because no good ideas escape from brainstorms.

Name one other category in advertising where the creative work is as driven by the regulations placed on it (which also have to appear in the same ads).

Drink responsibly? Still doesn’t keep Bud from doing good work. “Past performance is not indicative of future results?” Financial ads may be as mundane and boring as pharma, but not even they are as restrictive. Until you change the regulations to open up things, creative awards at this juncture are meaningless.

Go award a shop in Canada where they have different rules, but here? A Clio for something with two pages of fair balance is a joke. Based on that criteria, then Yaz would clean up at Cannes. (Even with their wrist-slap from the FDA for misleading claims, they’d still qualify, no?)

Wanna give a creative in pharma an award? Give them one for coming up with 75 boards that the account group “doesn’t quite get,” and who then butt heads with the CD over the themes of “Power” and “Control.”

And that’s also before the $225 a ticket. Yikes. See, if I was “leading the way” I’d donate all proceeds to a needy family that doesn’t have health insurance. (Or a freelancer.)

If, you know, I wanted to do something that had “impact” and “broke through the clutter.” That way, I could then nominate myself in the self-promotion category. What, they don’t have that?

Maybe next year—there’s time to add it in.