“You’re gonna love my nuts.”

Oh wait, Slap Chop Vince already used that joke! Well, I suppose, it still has some mileage. But, lame dick jokes aside, this is a perfect brand twofer. Say you’re a nut... (brand), and you need a celebrity. Getting a Palin that didn’t pull out early enough... from the election? Genius! Credit Wonderful for getting on the map now after that salmonella scare hit the pistachio industry. Messy! The rest of the clips are here on Get Crackin’. (Hey, look, mobsters!)

Parent company Paramont Farms and Roll International’s in-house department are likely responsible for the time-tested double-entendre hard at work here. What else would you expect from the mind behind the Franklin Mint—the bastion of Parade Magazine advertising. Suggestion for One Trick Pony 2.0 though: Go E-list. Bring in Tonja Harding, the Don’t Tase Me Bro dude, and Jon from Jon & Kate Plus 8.

Oh wait, apparently he’s all set with money.

(Via MrBrownThumb.)