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Friday, March 26, 2010

Look, all we are saying is, give Tea Bags a chance.

Feel The love. Did I vote come at a bad time? Geez, we got it all: Ozombie Nation imploring you to Click Here To Fight The Zombies (and the best call to action I’ve seen in some time). But I think the movement doth protest too much because I’m seeing an inconsistency in the messaging with the Tea Party crowd. No, it’s cool, I do this for a living, trust me. First, you need a Tea Bag logo—don’t be like the faceless, nationless terrorists in hiding—be proud! Then you need Tea Bag Party guidelines for the use of the logo as well as layout. See how easy this is?

So, you have fleece-wearing Minutemen trying to prevent us from being fleeced! No more taxes? No to any taxes? No Big Government in general? No Government Healthcare? No to Nobama? All of those? People, settle down and focus. Code Red helps no one! We’ve got real problems: Pelosi’s pink slip is showing. Who will save us? Sam’s busy cashing government checks, so that just leaves one man: J.D. Haworth — The candidate with a fucking star in his name. He’ll lead us out of this quagmire with a fierce stare and fiercer dedication. He’s not just running for office—he’s running for America, mister!*

Rest easy Tea Bag Nation, rest easy.

*That’s three quality campaign taglines in a row. Where else can you find THAT?

1 comment:

Thinking In Vain said...

I hate to say this, but JD looks like a monkey from Planet of the Apes.