Pearl Izumi heads for Uranus.

Project Uranus from Pearl Izumi is like, your ANUS. Get it? ANUS. It's like a planet, but also, it’s like, YOUR ANUS!

“Pearl Izumi has spent years and millions of dollars in research and development to create the new anatomic chamois technology, which has been built with the potential of providing lasting comfort up to 1,607,000,000 miles, coincidently, the same distance from Earth to Uranus.”

Shades of Stephen Colbert aside, one question: If I run into trouble with Myanus, will they send Bruce Willis to help?