Turn your head and smile. Welcome to airport security, 2.0.

Look, I really don’t know why you people are freaked out over a little groping. The TSA says it’s for your own safety. I mean, why bother studying the best airline security in the world, not when there are jobs in American latex factories at risk. Oh, it’s just a big magnet? Why didn’t anyone tell me. SUCK IT UP AMERICA – WE’RE AT WAR.