1) You will discover just how much stuff the advertising industry has convinced you that you needed over the years.2) The only weather choices for the day of the move will be: snow, humidity, torrential rain and/or volcanic ash.
3) Even if you call four weeks in advance, you will be without TV, cable or internet in the new place for at least a week. And the temporary internet you mooch from your new neighbors will only work in one corner of the house.
4) You will eat cheaply and unhealthy for that entire week.
5) As you attempt to lift yet another widowmaker, a little voice in your head mocks you, replaying your famous last words: “Hey, save those. You never know. One day those will be worth something—we can sell them on eBay!”
6) All the things they said would be fixed by the time you moved in? Yeah, sure.
7) Until the washer and dryer arrive, rediscovering the joy of humanity that is the midnight laundromat crowd.
8) Even with a Monk/ADHD/OCD system of taping speaker wires and color coding bolts wrapped with Post-it® Notes, you will have four or five boxes that redefine the term miscellaneous. At some point, the extra stuff all gets thrown together in one box like Americans snagging the last chopper out of Saigon.
9) The shade cutting department at Lowe’s.
10) Blogging Top-10 lists from a makeshift inverted box-table in the middle of your new living room.
(Image via.)
Tags: moving, U-Haul, Budget
5 comments:
moving should be a requirement of every citizen. a cross country move should be a requirement for everyone with an arrest record, a desire to hold political office or a need to criticize.
moving sucks.
Good luck.
Your 9 hinted at but missed No. 11: Being forced to discuss, or even think about, "window treatments."
the jesus truckers might have given you a discount on truck rentals in lieu of more publicity.
Why would Mr. Green leave Jersey? Or is this a cross-state move? Where is Bill going? Is Bill in the witness protection program? Is Bill solidifying his Plaididity with a trek north to Connecticut ("Our Middle C is Silent").
Answer the questions, Bill. Or do a post about it.
@JP-Forgot to reply to that last time, but no, this is a local move only. I have one year left on my New Jersey sentence while the last MTLB in training finishes high school, then I am fucking GONE.
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