A feel-good message for the new year.

Juh-EEZE-us. It’s another Tarantino film masquerading as PSA. Australia’s Transport Accident Commission (TAC) takes the lead in shocking spots with this effort. Hafta say, it feels a lot more real and less melodramatic compared to some of the stuff out there, but no less graphic. Still, like anti-texting driving PSAs, does this stuff work? Highway deaths here in the U.S. are supposedly down in many states, up in others. This even though most American messaging handles DUI spots about as deftly as a WWE promo. Does this stuff work? Really work? TAC says yes. Or is it as effective as that “Drink responsibly” warning on all ads, or age verification on beer, wine and spirits websites. (A joke.) I’d like to see these spots shown at bars and point of purchase to gauge what effect they really have. Otherwise, sensational spots risk becoming nothing more than award show fodder.

(Via Brandflakes For Breakfast.)

That’s how GEICO does that, son.

The Charlie Daniels is probably my favorite of the recent new campaign hosted by Mike McGlone. NEW! Ha, look at me, I said new. I meant, the latest riff on “15 minutes could save you 15% or more on car insurance.” Geico has different voices for its demos (Charlie and the other spot with Ed “Too Tall” Jones lock down aging boomers), but at the end of the day, using celebrities, animated lizards, dudes in Caveman costumes and testimonials, etc., means nothing without that old school direct response sign-off at the end. It’s simple and it works—still. Period.

Contextual madness.

Oops. Happy holidays.

(Via.)

Think of it less like ad creep and more like a unique marketing opportunity.

Via NotBillable comes more ad creep. Yea!

“Kraft Macaroni & Cheese is excited about the possibility of working with the city of Irving, Texas, to be involved in the explosion of Texas Stadium.”

You mean, implosion, right? Or maybe the joy felt by the mayor is more to your liking:

“We’re very proud to form a partnership with such a widely recognized and appreciated brand,” Irving Mayor Herbert Gears said Tuesday. “We wanted to make sure that the world got to experience the demolition of such a historic facility.”

Although my bet is on the Cowboys imploding long before Texas Stadium does next year. (Maybe Wade should push the plunger. Fitting, that.) I’m sure demolition rights are still available for Giants stadium too! Least the Yankees auctioned off all the good parts before the demo started.

Maybe they could act a little less enthusiastic about the chance to tear down an eyesore—or landmark—depending on who you ask. As Coach Bryant said, act like ya been there before. With other stadiums due to come down across the country, there’ll still be more chances for brands to capitalize on fan misery.

You stay Krafty!

Okay, this is a breach of contract, right?

It clearly states that at night, in a hotel room, Matthew McConaughey is to be shirtless in all Dolce and Gabanna advertising.

(Ad via.)

AdVerve - Episode 12 - End of Yearness

It’s our end of year madness. While it may be a little pretentious of us to run a year-end episode after only 12 episodes, eh, so what. Some of what makes it into this one are things we never got to cover during previous episodes but which we proudly beat the hell out of now.

Play the show now. (Or right-click to download directly.)

Subscribe via iTunes:

We wander everywhere, from music and films to current stories floating around the net. Safe to say, we earn the explicit tag with this show. (Chapter breaks below, a loose guide at best.) Tarantino to Star Trek to Brad Pitt to Facebook sibling revenge sex lists and beyond, the show goes there. We’ve also included links at the end here to anything we mentioned throughout the show.

(Few small clarifications first. In the discussion on Tarantino, even though movies about WWII now are good (Saving Private Ryan, Thin Red Line and Schindler's List), at the time, the acting in all films was melodramatic and sucked. We butchered Javier Bardem’s name and referred to Brad Pitt’s True romance character as Stoner when we meant Floyd.)

Lastly, and more importantly, thanks to all who have downloaded and listened to the show and/or who have given us coverage so far. We could’ve done it without you, but then, it would just be two angry people ranting into a mic... sans audience. And this, well, this would suck.

Topics:

00:00 – 1. Intro - Year in review - ads, music, films
08:05 – 2. Inglourious Tarantino
11:11 – 3. Brad Pitt
16:27 – 4. Star Trek
25:57 – 5. Tarantino: CPR for acting careers
32:12 – 6. Michael Moore
33:21 – 7. Shitty presents
36:48 – 8. Tiger Woods
40:49 – 9. Asian parents & sibling revenge
51:22 – 10. Yelp = Nope
52:07 – 11. When to Twitter
59:26 – 12. Let’s get married
01:04:52 – 13. That’s a wrap

Linkage:

Music –
Beth Orton
Fleet Foxes
Gomez
Imogen Heap
Juliette and The Licks
Pink Martini
Scarlett Johanson & Pete Yorn

Movies –
12 Monkeys
2012
27 Dresses
Burn After Reading
Coraline
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
Grosse Pointe Blank
High Fidelity
Hunchback of Notre Dame 2
The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus
Inglourious Basterds
Le Vilain
Love Actually
Seven Pounds
Star Trek
The Taking of Pelham 1 2 3
True Romance (Brad Pitt as Floyd)
The Whole Nine Yards

Stories/Misc. –
Claymation Britney from Starveillance.
Facebook sibling busted
Inappropriate Twittering instead of parenting
Tena Incontinence

Send questions, comments or requests for newsletter inclusion to advervepodcast [at] gmail [dot] com. You can also leave a review too.

Tell me you're not jumping all over that loaf of cheese.

MMMMM. Hart aanval op een broodje! Via Burger Business comes a Netherlands version of what surely will be hitting mall Burger Kings here, no? Duh-AM that’s some cheese. Burger Kink doesn’t need to oversell the “freak” so much though—it’s grilled cheese, an American classic. Don’t come between moms and their bread, butter and cheese. Ever.

My flight gets in at 7:00—Don’t be late.

Goodyear: Putting the polyglas in polygamous.

It may be the first song with an M60 solo.

Like guns? Not as much as Steve Lee down under. And Tim McGraw hasn’t covered this yet? Pity, that.

Legal called—they have a problem with, well, the whole thing basically.

Saw this clip on Gizmodo (via Nerdcore), and the first thought besides all the views it got (257,000+ 379,700+ 419,000+ in five six seven days), is that again, no brand would touch something like this except for maybe a model airplane or video game. Even then, there’s too much from a legal point of view that would make them skittish. I can just see the email to the agency now:

“We have concerns over a few things in the aforementioned clip.

The first concerns the use of the AC/DC track throughout. While the editing in the clip does match the song nicely, we have concerns that the band’s management will not agree. Many artists lose significant income each year due to copyright infringement and we need to be sensitive to this.

Suggest instead the use of royalty-free music, or perhaps the ambient sound of the plane’s motor and/or screams of the children below.

Speaking of, having minor children in such close proximity to fireworks presents not only a public relations issue for the company, but one of safety. Many children are seriously hurt each year due to improper handling of fireworks and we need to be sensitive to this.

Suggest instead perhaps a sparkler held by an adult in an adjoining field.

Then there is the issue of “buzzing” the children. As depicted in sections of the video (such as 1:24), said strafing runs of same imply a certain imminent physical danger and potentially future trauma, which in turn, could likely affect them well into adulthood. Many young adults struggle each year with issues stemming from traumatic childhood experiences such as these and we need to be sensitive to this.

Suggest instead that all persons view any and all aerial maneuvers from the safety of the home’s front porch or other suitable dwelling nearby. Additionally, it is recommended that any and all spectators also wear regulation fire-retardant suits in accordance with OSHA standards.

As for an attempt to shoot down our product by means of surface-to-air fireworks, we feel this may not quite be the best representation of the brand we would’ve hoped for. While many may find the sequence beginning at 2:38 to be “quite awesome,” we have concerns. Due to the ever-present threat from terrorists both domestically and abroad, we need to be sensitive to this.

Suggest instead performing a series of safe aerial maneuvers away from spectators and free of the threat of anti-aircraft fireworks from the ground. Perhaps a figure eight or loop, maybe even a barrel roll. (Two if conditions permit.)

Additionally, we feel the description of the video that states it was by someone “unemployed” is perhaps not setting the best example for any children watching, let alone those adults also out of work. (The latter who might possibly be encouraged to participate in any activities depicted here.) Many people are unemployed each year and we need to be sensitive to this.

Suggest instead showing a scene or two with the father engaged in meaningful pursuits, such as looking for employment on craigslist, or perhaps exploring a local estuary with his sons and a nice box lunch.

While there are a few other issues we have regarding the clip, we feel these minor changes will be a good first start at helping improve and ensure our customers’ safety, not to mention their continued goodwill towards our brand.

Furthermore, please know that we here in the legal department stand ready to offer additional creative options should you need.”

Burka Barbie.

Yep. It’s part of a collection of more than 500 Barbies being sold at a Sotheby's charity auction in Florence, Italy for Save The Children. And she has to walk 10 feet behind Ken. ...2 ...3 ...4.

Next up, Amish Barbie?

Flying the friendly skies—the illusion of security.

If the Salahis can crash the White House, are you really surprised terrorists tried to blow up another plane? (Northwest Airlines Flight 253.) The tone of this post aside, I really am upbeat for the coming New Year, and normally I’d pass on posting this kind of story. It’s just that when government officials tell me everything’s fine, I get a wee bit krazy, especially when I think the real problem is being overlooked.

Whether it’s an incident at a school with a gunmen or disgruntled employee in an office building, the first thing you hear after a tragedy almost always comes from the perpetrator’s inner circle. The circle of friends and coworkers who line up on CNN to say, yep, the signs were all there:

“I knew it all along.”

And yet, those freaks never say anything to anyone, or if they do, nobody acts on the information. We’re great at figuring out what happened after the fact, but when it comes to preventing stuff ahead of time, we seem to get it wrong. Really wrong.

Why?

Because as much as commentors from both political parties want to blame the other side in this case, it’s not a Republican thing or a Democrat thing—it’s a bureaucrat thing. Usually, any kind of attempt at preventative action ahead of time means going through bureaucrats for approval. The definition of the word sums up the potential problem though, donnit:

bureaucrat: noun – [ an official who works by fixed routine without exercising intelligent judgment. ]

Without exercising intelligent judgment.

In deference to any and all who handle security in the domestic airline food chain, this one ain’t on them. That’s like blaming the cashier at McDonald’s for the food being fattening. Granted, we never hear about the incidents that security prevents; we only hear about the ones that actually get carried out. (Thankfully, in this case, almost carried out.)

Sure, would-be terrorist and now Eunuchbomber Umar Farouk Abdul Mutallab passed through screening with bomb components sewn into his underwear—score!— but the problem started further up the line when his father went to the U.S. embassy to warn them about him—a month before. Even after officials there notified everyone from the FBI to the Justice Department, nothing more was done.

FF >> as Department of Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano hits Sunday morning talk shows with her disinformation talking points to say everything happened that should have, and that everyone did what they were supposed to.

I’m sorry, come again?

Filmmaker Jasper Schuringa’s heroic efforts to subdue Mutallab notwithstanding, the overall attempt failed because the execution was faulty, nothing more. Had the device worked, nobody could have stopped him. Barring that however, that it even got to that stage in the first place is the fault of those higher up in the food chain.

When you watch Napolitano, she asserts that to put Mutallab on a No-Fly list would have ‘required specific, credible, derogatory information’ that authorities didn’t have.”

Think about that in the following context:

As a father, I’m here to tell ya, no more further credible information exists than a man willing to turn in his own son, especially because he fears for the safety of others, and especially a son who had already been on a general watchlist.

Again, this isn’t a friend of a friend or some anonymous caller: It was the guy’s own father.

A point which White House press secretary Robert Gibbs quickly sought to deflect criticism over. His rational: The shear number of approximately 500,000 people on a general terrorist watchlist somehow precludes a thorough search and/or background check.

See previous: Come again?

Hey, don’t blame us—you guys set this list thing up.

In this case, all you had to do was put out an alert for one guy, no? What does it take to be taken seriously? I can’t yell “BOMB!” in an airport without a beatdown from a latex glove worn by a $7 an hour hand, but someone with a few too many boxes checked off on the “Could be a terrorist and we may want to pick him up” form gets a pass?

Begs the question if convenience is driving the agenda here or is it safety. That would be > rhetorical. Of course it’s the latter silly! It’s all about one thing:

What’s the best overall level of service the TSA can provide given the number of travelers the U.S. airline industry has to deal with each year.

(When it comes to security, the Israelis don’t seem to worry about convenience dictating things.)

Regardless, airport screeners will likely take the brunt of the media shitstorm this week for missing the bomb components. Forget that Mutallab should’ve been detained off an embassy alert when he showed up to buy a ticket with cash and no passport.

In that case, he’s held for questioning and we aren’t having this discussion. (THE HELL YOU CAN BUY A TICKET WITH CASH FOR AN OVERSEAS FLIGHT ANYWAY—WITHOUT A PASSPORT?)

Seems like concrete evidence to me. Don’t ya feel safer already?

It’s the Necky!

People, it’s a dickie on steroids.

(Via.)

Artist to draw everyone in New York City.

I’m sorta doing the same thing that Jason Polan is, except, I’m swearing at everyone who annoys me on I-95. Not sure how long it’ll take Jason, but I’ve been at it for a few years.

Many happy returns!

Nintendo customer service from 1991 that’s second to none. Good luck this weekend with those Christmas returns! (I’m convinced regifting started because people didn’t want to deal with customer service anymore.*)

*Another unproven ad theory this holiday season.

I can’t believe it’s not better.

Actually, I can. What, you think spots like this take Christmas off? Welcome to whatever advertising was, is and will continue to be in 2010. (There’s also a making of in case you needed to know how they recreated the Gloria Estefan “Magic.”) Like a Pete Rose Hall of Fame snub, I’m surprised other notable hit songs still haven’t found an endorsement home at this point. VERY disappointed that dating sites have overlooked Kajagoogoo’s one hit. Tears For Fears and Shout for... Shout stain remover? OH, I could go on.

Santa, duuuuude...

Hope you freaks get what you want. I will be posting tails of holiday woe at some point.
(Image.)

Plaid reinvented.

All pay heed, bitches! New fun, new developments for The Greatest Agency in All The Land.* We hype that shit, don’t we. But so what, that’s what we do. So enjoy the holidays safely and here’s to new cool shit on the way with... TGAIATL* For now, head over and type in your own description for... the magic. Could I be more cryptic? Sure. For now though, can’t say much about some new developments on the way. Well, I could tell ya, but then I’d have ta bill ya! (OH!)

Remember, when shopping last-minute, buy American!

Forget about toys from those “other” countries. I mean really, like Canada. Sure they let us film movies there because it’s cheaper than shooting in New York City, but what do we really know about them—or their toys? Yes, they gave us Phil Hartman—but they also gave us April Wine. They’re probably up there now, plotting something nefarious with their toys. Toys YOUR children, your AMERICAN children will play with. I don’t know how you people can sleep at night. I really don’t.

(Image.)

A tale of two boycotts.

Aka, Christmas joy, free speech and whatever else I can throw in there.

I saw this effort by Michael Moore to boycott Connecticut businesses who support Senator Lieberman. The reason being that Moore is upset with the good senator from my current state and his position on healthcare reform.

So I’m trying to figure out how boycotting the businesses that probably also support people he does like actually works here. Help me out Mike. Since no state is an island and we’re in a global lovefest as of late (as your trip to Cuba showed in Sicko), don’t you think those businesses also help companies in other states, like say Michigan?

Funny how Michigan’s senators Levin and Stabenow were the beneficiaries of some “extras” in this recent healthcare bill, lest a boycott there ends up hurting the Michigan economy further. But why Lieberman? Why not any senator who was against this bill? Any one of them seemed to be the deciding vote as Dems scrambled to secure numbers.

I’m guessing though if California Senators Feinstein or Boxer changed their minds, I doubt there would be a boycott against the state which basically invented the industry that continues to pay him, and pays well.

Since boycotts are a form of consumer activism, they work both ways. I don’t need to watch any more of his films if that’s how how he feels. Small businesses feed off larger ones and keep the economy going. You want to vote someone out of office, fine, use the power of the vote.

But attacking businesses over a political agenda seems foolish. Healthcare activist that he is, I figured he would’ve gone after Lieberman over his ties to big pharma and the large campaign donations he’s received from them.

But I digress!

Then I saw a post about how another company Build-A-Bear brought the magic of global warming into a Christmas video for its product. The outrage, outrage I say, why, it was outrageous! A response from the company CEO about the purpose behind the message was even more chum in the waters. Instead of fighting that message though, why not focus on PC efforts by atheists to cancel out Christmas, surely a more immediate threat to the holiday, no?

The two issues will be connected shortly.

I watch Moore’s docs and think his intentions may be good, such as getting readily available ammo taken off store shelves soon after Columbine, or trying to get sick people the help they need, or even GM to answer for how they ran their company. This usually means he ends up being an ends justify the political means type of director, but, whatevuh.

(Ironic that many of the dissenters crying out against GM for taking bailout money also hate Moore, but, hate and ignorance is ironic like that, innit.)

That said, his docs get attention, don’t hate him for that. But, the responses at his site to the boycott idea, intelligent “sounding” as the writers appear to come off as, show as much intolerance and hatred for the other side’s point of view—which is to say zero for any view other than their own—as bear nation exhibit.

Can’t we all just...

It seems as if “I may disagree with you but I’ll defend to the death your right to say it” has essentially been replaced with “Fuck you!” I haven’t heard much of the former this past decade, but plenty of the latter.

There’s more respect shown in YouTube arguments over which deathcore band rules.

The country’s angry, I get that. But there’s a difference between being pissed over not having a job and this deeper, intolerant hate that seems to be lurking under the surface of every issue.* All over a president that, depending on what year it is, only half the country likes.

Each side then waits for the other’s candidate to complete their term... so they can vote in someone who will become loathed by the other half—at the end of their four years.

The circle of irony’s ironic like that, innit. So happy holidays, try and get along a little better, okay? Or, STFU.

Your choice.

*Even the LIRR. A fucking railroad, people. Geez.

AdVerve - Episode 11 - Sexism!

Ism time again. This week we tackle Sexism™, one of the more obvious "isms" in this fair industry we call advertising. Our extra-special pre-holiday Episode 11 features Åsk Wäppling of Adland.tv, infamously known among ad land old-schoolers as @dabitch.

Play the show now. (Or right-click to download directly.)

Subscribe via iTunes:

Having clocked in at a number of European shops and freelanced at some American ones, Åsk gets gritty about why it's tough for women to ask for more money, why breeding potential is an irrational metric for hire and what made method's scrubbing bubbles ad so uncomfortable to watch.

You can read more of Åsk's sexism thoughts on Adland, where she synopsizes a lot of what we discussed, and hammers in points we didn't have time to talk about.

In case you plan to check out early this week, happy holidays and check the shower before stepping into it. If you can, catch our year-end pop culture roundup next week.

Send questions, comments or requests for newsletter inclusion to advervepodcast [at] gmail [dot] com. You can also leave a review.

THASSA WRAP!

Merry *********.

They’re back.

Sexy hands!

Know what? This whole Perrier thing is very French.

(Via luckthelady.)

Because frivolous Facebook apps are our children’s future!

Face it: An app is either going to provide hours of time-killing high-larry-tee—or it’ll be practical in other ways. And we ain’t seen the beginning of the end of them. GET USE TO IT. And since agencies are now doing more projects for themselves and not just clients, the result is... YOUNICORN APP! So yeah, kill time. (Nobody every wants to hug time, just kill it. Sad that.) Anyway, I also like it as an example of doing a video that brings the app to life in a way that doesn’t “try” to be viral. Listen up all others: Get your app right—then you can do a funny vid like this. From the kids at mono.

My dad just quit cold turkey.

Were we all miserable for a week? Hell yeah. But that’s what you did mister. You just quit. Cold turkey. No patches. No videos. N o Richard Simmons Deal-A-Meal quit cards. THAT’S the greatest generation at work right there. Rethink your quit? Rethink your adverbification.

Hockey wine.

Sports dude that I am, hockey dude I am not, it’s my duty to bring you this story. Seriously though, what else do you need to know but those two words. The NHL has an almuni signature wine series, complete with awesome Photoshop deboss filter effect! Gordie Howe, Dave Schultz and all your favs! I could see an enforcer series though: Try the Tie Domi—it’s hearty and robust!

It’s chicken mate, nothing more, no?

Another KFC racist ad again? You decide! Maybe the dude’s just sitting in the wrong cheering section for the other team. Swap out the sport for a real one—NFL—make that a Giants fan surrounded by Dallas fans and is it still rac... or do we also need to also switch the race of the dude? You decide!

An end of year marketing hype-a-ganza.

George Parker, John Wall, Angela Natividad and this guy tried not to swear too much in recapping this year’s more popular show topics. So much for that as filters worked overtime to keep George in check. It’s a long one, clocking in at under two hours even though we lost Parker towards the end. (Apparently the Boise separatist movement cut power to his cabin but he held them off.) Still, there’s quality audio there people, there really is.

Download the show directly here. (The topics are here.) You can also follow us on Twitter: TheBeanCast, mtlb, John and Angela.

Tags: The Beancast

DO NOT ADJUST YOUR BLOGS!

Public.Resource.Org has a YouTube channel that collects old training films and docs found in the public domain. Score! The gem above is about the military and its use of mind control. Basically, a more upbeat Jacob’s Ladder.

If that’s a Chevy, the dog is dead.

Thank God for Bridgestone tires!

Nike stands behind Tiger—right for the wrong reasons.

I was going to leave this dead horse of a story dead, that is until Phil Knight said Nike was standing behind Tiger. Then the internet’s morally flexible self-identified and sided with Phil. Time to get out the paddles and shock Trigger.

CLEAR.

Where both Phil & Supporters share common ground—and are both wrong—is in playing down the transgressions part as being minor. This idea that he’s only human works when we’re talking about one time, twice, maybe.

15-women orgies, high-stakes gambling and narsty texts over a few years is transgressing times ten though. He’s now supposedly left to himself to play golf at night alone while sponsors such as Tag Heuer scale back endorsements.

Still, Nike has to stick with him.

I’m not trying to hold the moral high ground, far from it. It just seems that if you’re prepared to accept Phil Logic™ then, transgressing one time makes you no worse than someone who engages in a repeat pattern of the same behavior for years.

If that’s the case, then all athletes deserve that same consideration, no? This is a bigger issue for sports to think about.

Seems like there’s no rhyme and reason as to why one athlete is abandoned by a sponsor and another gets a pass. Is it off the field or on the field “transgressions” that determine the chosen few?

If so, then A-Rod did about as much damage to a rep as you can with both on and off the field issues (cheating, steroids), and yet, his apology earlier this year is all but forgotten now that he has that ring.

There needs to be a consistent policy in all sports for an athlete both on the field and off. Banned substances, fighting in clubs or brawling on the field etc., whatever, should all carry the same weight, because they sure don’t now.

Like convictions. Vick is playing for the Eagles while Nike dropped Marion Jones. I don’t see how you can have it both ways. Again, if you want to say she cheated on the sport while Vick didn’t, all I can say is see: A-Rod.

Nike has to stay with Tiger if they stood behind Kobe. To do otherwise undermines their past support of him. Drop him and you in effect admit you should also have dropped Kobe for the rape that wasn’t a rape.

This leads to another point about the people who help repair the rep of the transgressor. I was talking to a friend, taking it to extremes and suggesting at what point does an agency (W+K in this case), say enough’s enough and refuse to work for Nike?

Why promote an athlete who clearly has issues?

My reality check countered with “That’s a lot of money to walk away from as an agency. Besides, it’s a big brand and Tiger’s one part of it.” True.

But if agencies have a litmus check for what they will and will not work on in terms of products (alcohol, tobacco, pharma, etc.), then why is that scenario so far-fetched?

Yep, the creatives will be fistbumping Tiger left and right on the next photoshoot, but at some point in this business, you have to ask yourself where the line is at advertising something or someone with problems, or who employs a certain moral flexibility.

At what point do you put aside the fanboy thing and say maybe what these people do on the field can’t erase the other shit?

If you can’t however, then maybe it’s time for that cigarette account.
Barkley aside, the role model gig does come with the territory—but not from a “raising someone’s kids” perspective. It’s about how you carry yourself as an adult and a professional.

Here’s my solution though. Dan gets to keep his account. Nike gets a PR spike. Tiger gets to come off as human...

First off, none of this means shit unless Tiger goes out and dominates his next tourney or major, but W+K produces a spot with Tiger that is very much the anti-Kobe. (The spot where he was in denial about why people hated him—it wasn’t his skills on the court.)

If Tiger is really human, then let’s hear it in a spot for a change.

Not some introspective voiceover behind slo-mo B&W visuals about how people don’t understand what I go through, blah, blah, so what.

I mean, he comes out and admits to it all (sparing the details of course), but talking about how he fucked up off the course. About how people will view him differently now because of it. “I let shit get to me. I lived the life. Maybe I can’t change. I’ll try. But I just don’t know. I’ll keep trying”

Now that would be human.

(Image.)

[ Insert next iPhone killer with catchy tune. ]

Is the Palm Pixi an iPhone killer? Who cares! Sometimes, a song just makes ya all happy and whatnot. Sleepyhead by Passion Pit and moving visuals just seem to work.

When your votes don’t add up, that’s Amar'e.

David Spade helps hopefully will be able to play if elected Amar’e Stoudemire get ready to be picked as starting center for this year’s NBA All-Star game. Looks lately though like Spade may need more than a little coat. Episode one is Spade teaching the fine art of the flop. (Episodes 2, 3 and 4.) Athletes being themselves? It’s all they can do. But tired lines by tired actors is a little played. “Is he behind me?” being a spin on the hack line after someone falls and shouts “I’m good.” Instead, try previous hoops stuff with the flopping Billy Joe Cuthbert, Nash’s moc or the recent ESPN promo work.

I like Christmas again.

Via recent new fav blog you should be checking out, C-Monster.

The Power of the Invisible Sun.

Speaking of Sting! For real though, I happened to come across a random clip of him talking about what I thought was another cause and while it is, it’s still pretty cool. Photographer Bobby Sager had been shooting images of kids in war-torn countries with his family and came up with simple concept: Rather than trying to stop war, he promotes peace through an indestructable soccer ball (futbol to the non-heathens).

Instead of the typical ball made from garbage strung together, kids get something that lasts a lot longer. (Image above.) That’s what kids do right? Make a ball out of anything. Power of the Invisible Sun is Sting getting behind the effort to create these scocer balls that can withstand just about anything. (No need for air, etc.) Check out the film clip here though to hear the full background. There’s also a raw clip of Sting talking about Bobby and his approach here before an acoustic version of the song.

(You can also buy the book that donates a ball here.)

Help save the planet for rock stars.

While I’m pretty sure Sting doesn’t need mah help saving rain forests, nice little twist on the celeb appeal angle from TDA. supporting 1% For The Planet. Songs will be sold online and as dropcards in stores which have a code to unlock a download. You get songs. Sting sleeps better. (Even better than he probably does.) Win-win for the planet!

Things to design in Denver when you’re...

They said flash was dead. Yeah, no, that’s what they said. Not at Factory Design Labs. Forget choppy Christmas microsites, Imma go old school with some fluid Flash. Roll through and check out Powder. (Yeah, the nav is not what you’d expect, but explore youngins, explore a little. Can’t have everything out in the open all easy and shit like some Web 2.Blow nav. Hell’s the matter with you people.) Anyway, it’s a nice little self-promo film that goes beyond the typical "Why we're great!” self-accoladization. (New word > look it up.)

(Via The Denver Egotist.)

Can we just kill the choir singing brand promises please?

Aka, our holiday cliches are better than their holiday cliches. Innovative holiday spots in action yet again.





I could go on with the singing chorus theme and Howie Long’s Chevrolet holiday spot, but you get the idea. Don’t ya?

No, YOU are the one.

Matthew McConaughey. A little D&G. Bongos. Oh, it’s on. What’s a fella to do after a long hard day of hiding from the razzi EXCEPT... take that shirt off and let them shoot you in your room.

But wait, there’s more...

– Back when beer was beer and men drank it.
– In case you thought Real Housewives of New Jersey was a fluke.
– Your desert island end of days.
– Morgan Freeman Chain of Command.
– Eat lunch with someone who pays AND won’t talk during the meal.
– Shattering the genteel world of college squash.
– Natural Born Clickers. (Via.)
– Packaging cameras.
– But what if it actually sells. (Via.)
– Tiger’s No.2? 9? 14? staying classy.
– Greetings from Facebookville!
– Jack Bauer out of work?
– Facebook response flowchart.
– I’m Friendster, bitch!
– Aww, mom you’re just jealous, it’s the...
– DON’T come between the French and their strikes.
– For resurrections lasting longer than four days...
– T&A.com IS available!
– A bun in the shopping cart?
– Keep the change.
– Oh yeah? Our algebra teacher would whip chalk over our heads.
– Clinging to their guns and their Christmas trees.
– Come on down to the House of B-roll.
– Yes, you CAN has it.
– Twitter is a one-way tweet.

There’s never a red delicious on the subway when you need one.

Hokay. Good cause. Cool concept. Non-profit City Harvest shows how much food people waste in New York City each day: 270,000 pounds. Could be any food falling out, but, apples will do. (It’s a different take from their animated suicidal cabbage campaign.) First, billing it as shot entirely on an iPhone camera is a stretch given the cgi at work here. A non-profit > that much cgi > agency’s annual PSA award show budget > do the math. (See the making of here with amazing Moderat track!)

Second, not just here, but I absolutely HATE the feigned reaction of actors in spots* these days. That shit just gives it away. (Yes, apples don’t just jump out of subway cars, but the effects were so good, it looked like a cool stunt someone would actually try. Why ruin it with bad acting? And then, you hope it's cgi because food recovery > lotta wasted apples > disconnected brand message.) But check out Truth for the real reaction thing.

(Agency: Draft.) Follow City Harvest on Twitter. (Via.)

*Cutting back on my use of the V-word for the holidays.

Oh, is it Xmas card time?

Can’t hit everything agencies put out, but here a few recent things that got sent my way. Or, you can just resend one of these from last year.

- Only 35 more left at the Wasserman Holiday Shopping Channel.

- Frukt Music represent yo.

- White elephants from preston kelly.

- Candies from Carbone Smolan.

- “Bondage-me Elmo.”

- Pulp Fixmas.

- Archibald Ingall Stretton’s talking head(s). (Via.)

- Plaid’s Holiday Gift Guide working overtime.

AdVerve - Episode 10 - Jordan Kretchmer

Download the show directly here. Or subscribe via iTunes:



Interview time with co-founder of new social networking start-up LiveFyre Jordan Kretchmer. (Also of Current TV and Twitter RP fame.) Pull up a pair of headphones as we talk about the sexy stuff and discuss the anatomy (pun!) of start-ups, YouTube losers and why creatives need to get out more.

(Find Jordan on Twitter.)

Topics by timestamp:

00:00 – 1. Intro
00:50 – 2. LiveFyre
28:24 – 3. Achangecy of the future
42:58 – 4. Editor in chief
50:07 – 5. Current TV & the Twitter RFP
01:10:51 – 6. Final thoughts
01:16:26 – 7. Wrapping it up

Send questions, comments or requests for newsletter inclusion to advervepodcast [at] gmail [dot] com. You can also leave a review too.

Lucy in the Sky.

The background on a classic song (Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds) with a new cause (Lupus), from Julian Lennon and James Scott Cook. The video above describes it better than I could though. (From December 15, 2009 thru March 15, 2010, 100 percent of the proceeds from each download of the full version of LUCY from iTunes will be donated to lupus research.

Hey, look, the real snow globes of New Jersey.

“To celebrate the huge number of movies being shown in HD on Sky Movies’ Christmas Channel this festive season we held a screening of popular Christmas movie, The Grinch, in the world’s biggest snow globe. The 30ft snow globe was spectacularly covered in white snow and surrounded by Christmas trees and candy canes.”

Apparently they haven’t been to North Jersey. Trust me—that ain’t the largest, love.

*Said with Xmas affection*

Here’s GM’s problem.

While Lutz may give off an air of experience and confidence, seems to me that to appeal to a new generation of car buyers, they may wanna mix it up from time to time and skew younger with their pitch. Like this kid. Chevettes people. It’s all about the Chevettes.

Choose Freedom—Fight prejudice.

Do it for the children.

Don’t worry—IMMA be there.

Pets, cute kids or people running into shit equals commercial win-win. Always! Powermat is a recharger for cell phones that works wirelessly through the air. Put the phone down and throw away your power cords. (Cue creepy tumor floating through the air thoughts. (Kid! > Me!)

The Tiger Woods rider covers you against flood, fire and random acts of skankiness from waitresses who won’t shut up on TMZ.

Heh, heh. He said “rider.” Well, why shouldn’t insurance reps exploit Tiger’s fun. While hush money or personal insurance for the wealthy is nothing new, risk management and insurance brokerage firm DeWitt Stern is claiming to now offer the first-ever Reputation Risk Insurance meant to protect the policy holder against:

“Lost sales, crisis management fees, lost advertising campaign expenses, and pre-committed and incurred endorsement fees.”

While it may be hard to guess just exactly what a Gatorade endorsement loss might mean down the road, I’m guessing Tiger would’ve at least recouped some if it now. This variation on a theme is nothing new though. (Before the NFL draft, some players figuring to go in the top 10 take out insurance policies against injury. See Willis McGahee and one of the nastiest 90° knee redirects you will ever see.)

Yes, that’s an on the field injury, but, no endorsements for athletes on the sidelines kids. Still, athletes and celebs take hits from almost anywhere now. Basically, it appears as if this policy allows you to be a worry-free douche regardless of morals clauses and sponsors who might walk over said douchery. (Guessing Jon could’ve used this.)

(Image.)

A Method to the adness.

Aka, Tiny Bubbles. Picking up as last-minute sixth man off the bench for the show, I joined Matt McDermott of Renegade, Joe Jaffe and Aaron Strout to revisit Method’s bubbleness, sexy sexy SEO and non-sexy Super Bowls.

Download the show directly here. Topics here. Follow us on Twitter: TheBeanCast, me, Aaron, Jaffe and Matt.

Tags: The Beancast

They’re big in Japan.

Least that’s what the internet tells me. McDonald’s shrimp burger. You heard me. Happy Monday.

(Via.)

Because it’s easier to write copy that plays on people’s fears?

Why would any red-blooded All-American copywriter give up a weekend to work on a Sylvania TV spot to sell more headlights? SilverStar® ULTRA headlights that apparently let you blind 50% more drivers? Because he works in advertising and that’s his job? CORRECT! Actually, any red-blooded All-American male into football has better time management skills than that—those bulbs are being changed before the game starts. That’s what red-blooded All-American males do on Sundays: Milk a job that takes all of 15 mins into a full morning’s worth of work. That way, their red-blooded All-American wives can’t bother them to do other stuff. And daughters may be more expensive to replace, but not impossible. I’ve seen ads. No, I have. And, they’re already house-broken too.*

*Cue emails from Amnesty International crowd about children sold into slavery.

Jean Reno, UPS badass.

Well, not in this European campaign, but I could see Léon delivering something special. This European campaign with Jean Reno for UPS is old, but still, it’s sassy! Well, maybe “deeper” more than sassy when compared to the recent whiteboard stuff or FedEx’s cavemen. This alternate isn’t though, striking a nice balance between benefit and loftier theme.

I’ll go quietly as long as Steven Seagal performs tthe arrest.

It’s holiday time, which means drunk driving messages with bad copy and worse visuals from the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (NHTSA). Why? Because it’s the government stupid. But hey, if the stuff works right? Well, sorta. Five states that showed the most improvement last year in terms of fatalities due to driving impaired were Vermont, Wisconsin, Maine, Nebraska* and Idaho, Rhode Island, Wyoming, Kansas and New Hampshire. The worst progress? Idaho, Rhode Island, Wyoming, Kansas and New Hampshire. Check out the rest of the ad greatness here.

*Your tax dollars at work apparently aren’t enough to get them to alphabetize the states in the PR release.

DO NOT ADJUST YOUR SET.

Yet again, another reason network TV sucks, cable’s promos/bumps/spots for its shows are just better. Whether it’s Characters Welcome or the Adult Swim series of cool pseudo-retro PSAs out with different artists and musicians. (The clip here is Spicy Sammich from Flying Lotus.) What else to say? Not much. YOU DO BE LIKING THEM. This is the now with the zen people. (Check out more clips here.)

They almost didn’t use the word viral. Almost.

Ad blogs—PR’s internet fax machines. I suppose I would’ve gotten around to mentioning TuneUp at some point sans PR release. (I already use it—screw viral video, the program works pretty good and cleans up all the untitled song sin your iTunes library.) Looks though like the trend continued with videos to promote apps. Just don’t call them viral. Until, ya know, it turns... still, Biz Markie and Andy Milonakis? Awww. Cute!

Overheard Internet.

Cool, honest and sad. Brought to you by the internet. In an unedited B-roll, straight to your monitor kinda way...


“Sometime soon the normal heterosexual, religious, hardworking people in this country are going to say enough with the loud and vulgar left. We're going to lock them out of the social circles and media and we'll find out that those weirdos are only 2% of the population. Let the 98% have the country back.
How much more of the left-based hatred against religion, normal sexual relations, gender roles, men, and moral absolutes are people going to take? It's like we're all trapped in a horrible dream. Time to wake up and clean up society's fall into athiesm, self-love, sexual perversion, and money-worship. Let's start speaking up as loudly as the perverts. Start boycotting TV shows that are left leaning and the products that advertise on them. Let people call you "racist" "hateful" and a "bigot", but don't give the advertisers your money and make it very clear that you won't buy products that advertise on left leaning TV shows or news broadcasts. Flex your muscles! Go see avatar because it supports normal gender roles.”
– SoMuchHatredbyTheLeft

“i think they dont have jobs.”
– monfretdemol

Let me get two of the I Love Jesus boxers please.

I’m guessing they won’t be carried at Walmart? Maybe the Jesus bleeding hearts isn’t to your liking. Why not try little Buddhas instead! It’s Jason Sutherland’s new Piss & Vinegar men’s underwear, sure to be a hit this holiday season. (And the website will ruin the Bon Iver song forever for you.)

AdVerve - Episode 9 - Ageism and advertising

Download the show directly here. Or subscribe via iTunes:

That’s right frens, another “ism” show. This one features Ad Broad Helen Ross on the topic of age as it relates to the advertising industry. We cover a range of topics, from younger vs. older creatives, client challenges, and the changing agency dynamic. Along the way we also delve into Helen’s other side gig as Mad Men fanista Betty Draper on Twitter. You can find her regular self there too. Plus her regular blog Ad Broad as well as new creation Brand Fiction Factory.

Send questions, comments or requests for newsletter inclusion to advervepodcast [at] gmail [dot] com. You can also leave a review too.

No, I do not need money sent to me.

I mean, if you wanted to in general, fine. But if you received a request for money from me last night or today because I was stuck in London, it’s bogus. While $1,500 might actually cover George Parker’s pub tab, it’s from hackers and an account in Africa which got hold of my account. And if I ever did hit you bitches up, it would be for a lot more than $1,500. The lesson (besides changing your password every so often), is that this is either an example of supportive friends, or reaaaally good copywriting because a LOT of almost people fell for it.

More fun time? I think it must be.

Cool little campaign out now for about a month for the Xbox 360. It features Jane Lynch recreating what feels like a more gleeful spin on the confidence of her Sue Sylvester character from Glee and its all-knowing knowingness. (Which could be argued is yet another variation of her Best In Show character.) Fun!

Check out the rest of the spots here.

Just win baby—so the healing can begin.

.02¢ > turn > mine. Will he lose sponsorship? Do brands care? Points well-covered in Ad Age or on this week’s Beancast. But a few other things about Tigermania come together in one big, intertwined mess. It’s not simply a black and white issue.

One underlying idea here is that people expect perfection of athletes. It’s not that they’re not human; that topic gets covered off in the athlete who admits when they had a bad performance on the field and need to get back up again.

Never give up and all that, right?

I mean utter perfection both on and off the field. He was a machine, raised from an early age to dominate. Train hard—play harder. A driving father figure behind him without becoming the stage dad Venus and Serena Williams had to deal with.

You looked at Tiger on the course like he was Mike Tyson in the ring. The only one Tiger had to worry about beating was himself.

Which leads to this: As long as you win, what else matters?

Most recently, Vick got a second chance because he could still play. But I watch this saga unfold and wonder if Tiger caved to temptation, who’s next to fall?

Will Peyton Manning be caught in a motel room with a goat?*

Brands choose athletes and celebrities because of the wholesome image they display. Well, I'm just wondering, winning record aside, what does it takes for sponsors to say we’ve had enough?

In this case, being human would’ve included finding out Tiger cheated—once. You could live with that as a fan I suppose, even if you didn’t personally identify with the scenario of cheating. If you could, then it becomes glass houses > stone throwing.

But, add in 10 other women and tales of Ambien sex? I can’t see sponsors standing by him when they’ve walked from others over arguebaly less-controversial reasons. (See > Michael Phelps.)

Then there’s the notion of healing.

Listening to sports talk radio in NYC yesterday and they brought up the idea that if after you’ve “transgressed” and just act contrite, you can now begin to heal. ESPN radio even supported the idea that this closure slash healing takes place on the green. Well, athletes have always turned to the field of play to forget about off the field issues; that’s not a new thing.

(Tiger hasn’t exactly done poorly either this year in that regard.)

But it’s awesome how athletes and celebrities can move on so quickly after years of transgression. Why is it about them and not the ones who got hurt though? Putting the con in contrite for a second:

Isn’t it more a case of truly sorry, or sorry you got caught?

What about factoring in the integrity of the game? Not that Tiger did anything to harm golf, but does the timeliness of any apology matter if you’ve hurt the integrity or done something that directly affects the game?

I look at Pete Rose, Mark McGwire and Alex Rodriguez for this one. All three “won” on the field even though all did things directly affecting the game at large. In Rose’s case, he didn’t directly affect his own performance, rather the game at large. Alex did with his steroid use. McGwire, while not using something banned at the time, bent the rules.

Take that one step further: What if the Yankess don’t win the World Series?

Then all the talk turns to A-Rod’s press conference earlier this year as fans would villify him even more for any post-season troubles. Credit though to Tiger for at least not pulling A-Rod’s excuse.

Now though, A-Rod can put this behind him and heal. “But what about cheating with Madonna?”**

You could also argue that parts of the media are just as complacent in maintaining the facade of the perfect athlete. As long as you win, everything’s cool. But should it be?

I felt that way after catching a segment on the Fan where Mike Francesca said that apparently a prominent sports magazine knew for two years about Tiger and shelved the story, all in exchange for Woods appearing exclusively on their cover. But last week after the initial story broke, Francesca also said we shouldn’t rush to judgement.

How can you have it both ways though. Sports media has their collective ear closer to the ground than the rest of us about what goes on in that world. If one magazine knew, it must stand to reason that a lot of other people in the media had to know too.

(Sorry, but when your wife runs out in the middle of the night with a golf club aimed at your car window, she’s not there to help change a tire.)

Saying that’s true though, at what point do you have a right to know about an athlete or celebrity? Are they supposed to be accessible to you 24/7?

I’d say no if all they agree to is the three hours you pay for when attending a game (or the two when you rent an actor’s latest movie).

But when brands sign them to shill products and act like role models with morals clauses, the hypocrisy of the situation Tiger finds himself in says, yes, you do have a right to know. The athlete may pay a price in terms of lost endorsements, but in effect, you were betrayed by a brand promise.

Ultimately, people will have to decide what their personal limit is for supporting or forgiving athletes and celebrities because it’s not if, but when the next PR crisis arises. Is drug use okay? Cheating? Violence?

What if they can help bring your team a championship?


*I kid.
**See > “It’s okay because he won” excuse.