Here’s my post-opening rant from the Olympics. It’ll come off a lot more bitter than I’ve been in a while, but so what.Visually, I loved the opening Saturday night. I’m not a huge fan of the European tradition of grand theatrics in everything they do. As my alter-ego Jules might say, I just don’t dig on the whole La Cage meets Fellini thing. But I recognize the skillz.
All the teams came in like they do. And then the USA came in. Note to team: I don’t need to see the Hawaiin ‘hey bra’ sign flashed or ‘Whoo-hoo!’ when Pavarotti is singing, ok? Just clap and for once, dispel all the notions Europe has of America, please.
Because what I want to see from everyone on the team, is well, TEAM. I don’t want to see a bunch of individuals walking in holding cell phones like my cousin Nic at a Mets game on TV: “HEY LOOK. I’M ON THE FREAKIN’ TV RIGHT NOW!”
I’m seeing too much of it, especially in the run-up to the Games. VISA suddenly inspires Lindsey to be a champ? If she needs a 21.9% APR to inspire, kiss the Gold good-bye folks.
But I’m focused on Bode this morning.
Nike ran a real cool, or real condescending spot Staturday night. Not sure which. Bode basically comes on and breaks the fourth wall by telling us that we’re in a spot, and to go to the URL at the end: joinbode.com.
Ok, getting people to go to a website has been done before, but I feel like telling the audience they’re seeing a spot is really insulting. Be more understated with it, create some mystery. Just flash the swoosh and a url, why even say anything? Furthermore, he comes back in other spots after driving us to his site.
Mystery over.
I would’ve run with the whole schtick in subsequent spots and had Bode come back on: “What the hell are you doing still lookin at me? Go to the damn site!” The site is cool and all, don’t get me wrong, but the whole thing along with subsequent spots reeks of the same thing my cousin Nic does: ‘Look at me! Look at me!’
And that’s the problem. You can say what you want about how the Olympics, or even the Stupor Bowl ads have become this big advertising sellout with sponsors coming out of the woodwork. Fine. I get it. But as a sporting event, when you put on the uniform of this country, represent bitch. Represent.
This isn’t about Barilla pasta logos – are you kidding me Bode, what is this Kevin Costner in Tin Cup and the local transmission place on your cap? – or swooshes, or Letterman appearances. It’s about the whole country behind you. As in team.
There’s no “I” in team but apparently there’s an ME. How many different brands are on you? It’s like watching Jeff Gordon interviewed in his race suit. I know Nike is about the individual pushing themselves. They’re about Knowing Bo. Or MJ flying through the Air.
The olympics though, are about this country – as a whole.
I have more respect for Anne Abernathy, the 52-year old grandma doing the luge from the Virgin Islands. Hey Nike, where’s her spot? I’m old-school on this, sorry. Millenials, Gen X,Y and Z’ers might all think I’m hatin’ today. I’m not. Bode and the rest of the gang need to do what they do for the team and their country, not their Q-rating.
You guys all get up and do shit 99% of us would never do nor think to do at 5:00 am for years. 12 hours a day. You grow up going 60 m.p.h. downhill. You get a ton of respect for that from me, universal coach potato that I am. But finish the job you came for and save the hype for after you earn it.
Because otherwise, all the pre-game hype does is set us up to believe you weren’t really that good to begin with. And that pisses me off because I know you are.
Tags: Bode Miller, nike, olympics, torino, turin, US olympic team
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