See now, I’d watch if this was what they were putting out.

Eight kids is the new 2.3.

Jon & Kate Plus 8 is part of Reality Show 2.0, a release that fixes bugs in the earlier version. See, in the latest update we basically took the various themes from Springer or Geraldo and broke them out on their own. Pick a human condition and we have you covered: Stage moms. Bounty Hunters. Real Housewives. Interventions. Bridezillas. Octomoms. And soon to be: Duodecapletmom!

The only thing more absurd than believing Jon and Kate were ever match.com poster children is the notion the show was really on for a full five seasons, considering it started in 2007. The networks showing as much creativity regarding a season start as Hollywood does in counting Wednesday as the beginning of their box office weekend.

Gotta hurry up and get the show into syndication!

I watch a lot of shows at least once but I never really watched a full episode. How many shows do you need about changing diapers and whiny moms anyway.

Didn’t take long though to see he came off as a dude who clearly underestimated what a pain in the ass this whole married thing was going to be, while she soldiered on for the good of her childrens’ future book deals and made sure they were all coordinated for the photoshoots.

The good stuff though didn’t start happening until after he screwed up and she started losing it. 23-year old nannys? Calling the police on their mom? Crocodile tears on The Today Show with perfect hair? That’s why we watch.

Danny Bonaduce, Gary Busey, I Love New York, whoever. Reality shows need a little of the “trainwreck” in there somewhere, else, you’re watching puppies being rescued on Animal Planet. The beautiful thing about all this? Trainwreck 2.0 clones itself because today’s matching outfits are tomorrow’s matching book deals.