advertising and other stuff. no, really.



Friday, February 26, 2010

"Hi, welcome to chat support hell—may I help you?"










Don’t even start on why I still have an Earthlink account. Multiple email addresses sent out to clients and such over the years, etc. Look, I’m in the process of switching it all over to gmail, so get off my back. In the meantime, Earthlink will not go quietly, having just erased all my online contacts, among other things. Below is the chat session from when my account got nuked the other day. Yes, it reads like me being an a-hole more than anything, but, it’s been a long ugly road with them.

HAVE PITY.

While not a Kevin Smith-worthy nightmare, it shows again that the last line of defense for a brand is it’s customer service. You can employ all the social media monitoring and metrics you want, or talk about how consumer sentiment is measured by how many times “(brand x) sucks” shows up on Twitter, but it still doesn’t mean you’re really listening to what people are saying. What else matters, ammirite? My safe word below: “email.” Why? Because the rep gave an answer to a question I didn’t ask. It’s a small thing, sure. But, that’s why I blog: To embellish minor incidents into marketing fodder.

Enjoy!
_________________________________________

Welcome to Earthlink LiveChat. Your chat session will begin in approximately 0 minutes. Feel free to begin typing your question.


Rep 1: Thank you for contacting EarthLink LiveChat, how may I help you today?

me: Yes, where can I send an email to to complain about service issues?

Rep 1: If you wish to Escalate something or if you have any issues and concerns you can write to below address:

Rep 1: CORPORATE HEADQUATERS ADDRESS FOR:

Rep 1: EARTHLINK: Address 1375 Peachtree St., Level A Atlanta, GA 30309. Office Hours 8:30 a.m.-5:30 p.m.ET, Monday-Friday.

(Breathes deep before responding.)


me: email

Rep 1: I am sorry there is no E-mail address where you can send us an e-mail.

me: lol. thanks. bye.

(That was the “At the risk of coming off as an asshole” part.)

Rep 1: However may I know what the issue is so that I can try my best to assist you in any way I can.

me: I pay $10 a month and my blocked sender list is now deleted. Nothing saves. My contact list list won't upload. And the one service that worked, (the tools), is now PC only. If you can help with that, you saved a customer.

(2-min pause, at least.)

Rep 1: As I understand you have Technical issues with your EarthLink service.

me: A few, yes.

Rep 1: Okay.

Rep 1: To best assist you, you need to chat with a DSL Technical Support Representative. Please stay connected while I transfer the chat.

Rep 1: I am sorry for the typo error.

Rep 1: To best assist you, you need to chat with a Technical Support Representative. Please stay connected while I transfer the chat.

Please wait while I transfer the chat to the appropriate agent.

(Pause. New rep comes on.)

Rep 2 says: Thank you for contacting EarthLink LiveChat, how may I help you today?

me: See above

(This now the “At the risk of coming off as a frustrated asshole” part.)

Rep 2: I see you've already been chatting. Please give me a moment so I can read the previous chat and pick up where you left off.

me: okay

Rep 2: Thank you for staying online.

Rep 2: Okay. Please provide me with the password for your EarthLink email address so that I can duplicate this issue at my end.

(Pause, me.)

Rep 2: Not to rush you, but I haven't had a response from you. Are we still connected?

(‘Not to rush’ me, which, she does several times throughout yet is still half the amount of time I had to wait on Rep 1 above.)


Rep 2: I do not mean to rush you, I am waiting for your response.

me: sorry

me: *************

me: is password

Rep 2: Please give me two minutes while I check this for you.

(I retype password because of typo.)

me: *************

me: brb

(I now leave for two minutes. Fucking dog had to go out, what’s a blogger to do?)

Rep 2: Thank you for staying online.

Rep 2: I am able to add address in your address book.

Rep 2: There is no issue in your Web Mail.

Rep 2: I do not mean to rush you, I am waiting for your response.

(Pause, me back now.)

me: yes

me: that is not what my problem was though.

me: All the domains in my blocked list, some two hundred, areg one

me: are

me: my contact list has 17 names when there should be over 1,200

Rep 2: I am extremely sorry for the inconvenience caused to you.

me: It's more than that. It's not a free service

me: If it was, I wouldn't mind as much.

(Pause, them, but me needing to run out for appointment since I’m now late.)

me: Thanks for your assistance but I need to go.thanks.

me: Good-bye

(Pause, them.)

Rep 2: You are welcome.

Rep 2: Thank you for using EarthLink LiveChat. Should you need further assistance, please contact us again.

Rep 2: To close this Chat session, Kindly hold down the CTRL key from key board and click on CLOSE button of the chat window to end this chat session.

Rep 2: Have a nice day :-)

(Doesn’t that emoticon just scream a big ol’ Paula Deen FUCK YOU Bless Your Heart?

Chat session has been ended by the agent.

(End of session... and patience.)

(Image.)


1 comment:

Dave Smith said...

Yes, that is ridiculous. But I actually had HP transfer me to the number that I had dialed, which then sent me to another department who then transferred me back to the first department, none of whom were able to help me in any way.

They could have accomplished the same by just having a recording that says "Look, we really don't want to help you today."