The *HELL* happened to air travel in this country?

“Father, father... do tell us about service aboard the transcontinental flight experience.”

No, look, see... it really WAS this way. Technology and comfort is not supposed to go fucking backwards, okay? While almost every other form of tech or product has improved to where we are now (phone > iPhone, Model T > Accura, etc.), airplane travel is worse. Like, way worse. They still crash. The service is deplorable. Leg room? THOSE BATHROOMS ARE BIG ENOUGH TO FUCKING TANGO IN. And not that I did, but people could smoke—like chimneys. DID YOU SEE THAT LOBSTER? And what that captain would be saying over the intercom today: “Uh, ladies and gentleman, we’re on final approach to Heathrow. Uh, while we gained some time with a slight tailwind, you’ll be losing it all and then some as you still have another 120-point latex security check to go through—again. Uh, thanks for flying.”

Jetpacks was right. It’s nothing but failed promises of the American dream littering our nation’s jammed highways.

Happy Friday.

(Clip via tontino.)