Release your inner money pit with Lowe's.

Man I hope these two don’t produce spawn. If they think THAT green is bad? Wait sad diaper freaks, just wait. Look, if you’re out this weekend at Lowe’s and you see this couple, have them removed from the store. Why? Because they’re actors for one, and actor’s don’t go to Lowe’s. More importantly though, the two represent the type of couple who take up the time of the people who DO know what the hell they want. The “Gosh, I can change a litebulb?” with all-knowing down-to-earth Lowe’s employee spot could just as easily be Home Depot. This category is now as bad as pharma advertising, save for the bloody discharge warnings. Truth be told, I don’t blame the noobs; your wait will likely be due to Lowe’s ARCHAIC special order system. That’s the one where they look it up in a book, then cross reference it on their 1980 Tandy screen (the same one used by any DMV or auto parts store), then dot matrix that shit as you grit what’s left of your teeth. THEN forget to call you in two weeks, which will actually be three days AFTER the window really came in.

Not that that happened to me or anything.