Ah. “The spirit of service.” Not quite. I tried getting DSL for the new apartment. Called up Qwest. They had good prices relative to the evil empire that is Time Warner, so lemmee see what’s up. But then, the following conversation:Me: Like to see about getting DSL.
Q: No problem sir. Address?
Me: [gives info]
Q: Sorry sir. We don’t cover that area.
Me: Whatta ya mean? Your coverage area says you cover that zip code [where apt. is].
Q: Not exactly sir. That’s [Evil Empire] territory.
Me. Yes, but I have them already, and they’re too expensive, that’s why I called you. Your map says you do.
Q: Sorry sir, they’re the only ones who can help you.
Me. [pausing] Nice monopoly.
Q: It’s not a monopoly sir.
Me: [Thinking to self, he didn’t just say that, did he?] When I can only get only one provider of a service in an area? That’s a monopoly.
Q: No sir. Due to an agreement with the individual towns and cable providers, each cable company is only allowed to serve a particular area. That’s not a monopoly sir.
Me: [Not sure I heard what I know I just heard.] Excuse me? You’re telling me TW is the only way I’m getting my DSL. If that’s not a monopoly, I don’t know what is.
Q: [Pause] Anything else sir?
Me: Nope, that’ll do it. You could’ve given me help, but instead, you’ve given me so much more.
(This last line being my favorite Bill Murray retort from Quick Change which I keep forgetting to use, due to the fact that previous conversations like the one above usually leave me in too much of a stupor to remember to do so.)
Tags: Qwest customer service, Time Warner
4 comments:
It’s quite likely that the Qwest representative’s only definition of “monopoly” involves the board game. So when you said, “Nice monopoly,” the rep responded correctly. After all, if there’s no Park Place or Baltic Avenue or Reading Railroad in the area, then clearly, it is not a monopoly. I think you owe the rep an apology.
Comcast is my death star of a cable/broadband provider. I bleed money just to be able to have the Red Sox and Entourage (MLB assholes have broadcast locked up, but that's another issue altogether.)
Customer services. Can't beat them. No, really, you can't. Even if you wish it with all your heart. To beat them into a bloody pulp, that is...
Is there anything that can be done? I though monopolies were illegal!!!
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