Please drink and pay undo attention to yourself responsibly.

Judge a man by his drink... not the way he stops mid-step to gaze longingly at himself. Here’s to you, Mr. Self-Absorbed Drambuie Man. Fresh from a quick ride and shower for a night out on the town. He’s probably too caught up in the moment to realize they stripped in a different shot in the mirror.

Smooth like Diddy.

“Too many people know your name? Change it. Then change it again... I do it all the time.”

Look at Diddy, all smooth talk n’ shit for CÎROC, keeping smiles small and big-footed ladies in line.

“Hamptons Quality, Newark Pricing.”

Sorry New Jersey, but that’s a pretty catchy line. As catchy lines go. It definitely saved what was going to be another PR release headed for the trash. For value-price Polish Wódka brand vodka, it gets your attention. Along with the outdoor signs in Manhattan. But NYC doorman (and sometimes actor) Wass Stevens is giving me way too much of a creepy vibe. Hope he translates in Chicaga if the brand ever makes it out of the city.

Why is Dan Aykroyd smiling?

OVER A MILLION BOTTLES SOLD, that’s why. Remember his crystal skull vodka? $50 million dollars worth in two years bitch. Shows that being •out there* pays—well. And if you haven’t yet watched Dan break it down, take a few minutes now and watch at his site.

World Health Organization calls for alcohol ad crackdown—Budweiser still laughing as we speak.

Noble cause but did you even watch Thank You For Smoking? Lobbies people. Lobbies. That’s the first hurdle. Second, What are we really getting at it here. A restriction of any kind still falls short of what should be the minimum: A total ban of all ads then. And even THAT ain’t gonna happen, not without legislation in place to enforce it and especially when the industry polices itself.

As for said industry combating the issue of responsible drinking, they at least agree more can be done. See. Above. However. Self-regulation hasn’t really worked out. I can remember back when Crown Royal was the first brand to come back to TV and break the voluntary ban that the industry had up until the 90s.

And now? Beyond saturated. (How’s that age verification thing going on websites.) The WHO has a point though:

“The more affordable alcohol is ... the more it is consumed,” its strategy said, calling for minimum prices on drinks and taxes and other pricing policies to reduce underage drinking and bingeing. “Consumers, including heavy drinkers and young people, are sensitive to changes in the price of drinks.”

Agree. An more ads of any product category make an impression. The response to that by the industry reveals the blinders they have on though:

But that reasoning was rejected by SABMiller, the brewer of Miller Lite, Pilsner Urquell and other beers. It warned that minimum prices and high taxes could hurt public health by leading people away from safe brands toward cheaper, homemade moonshines and brews.

(I can say bullshit here on the blog, right?) Okay, well, bullshit. Would a Heineken drinker or beer lover start drinking low-price swill with a modest price increase? They may grab a Coors Light because that’s what was cold in their friend’s fridge, but the idea that the inverse of low price drives consumption is that higher prices drive people underground? Hasn’t been born out in my experience.

Again, need to be talking about a total ban to make that happen. Higher prices will not prevent anything. *Higher* is not the same as an obscenely, ridiculously high price either. To get people drinking floor cleaner, beer would have to go to $100—a can. Why does government always think incrementally small will affect the change they want?

Take smokes even. Sky-high cigarette taxes and price increases haven’t sworn people off that vice, so is it safe to assume the booze industry is safe? *nods* Or gas. Prices could go back up to $5-6 again and we’d still drive. Less, just like a few summers go, but we’d still drive.

Prohibition drove people underground—not higher prices of legal alcohol. As for ads, well, we could do with a few less all round, no?

Hornitos continues the year of the cougar.

The cougar theme was too big for one post—there are that many of them! We will be stuck with that awesome theme that someone in a 2011 year-end list kills it. That aside, Hornitos was always the special cousin in the Sauza family to Conmemorativo. (I worked on the brands way back, shhhh.) Looks like they finally got some money for Hornitos though and threw together some interesting spots. At least ones that go beyond the typical lifestyle party pic bullshit, even if they skirt Captain Morgan territory. I like the other spot below Doris, a little more though. It’s a get out of (insert undesirable situation here) gag, what’s not to love.

Chicks dig cute puppies.

Saw this last week and it feels like not just that I’ve seen it before with Burger King, but, Jack Daniels, Jim Beam and others seem to just interchange the same looks now. (Beauty shots will always be the safe choice for brands and appeal to any demo, but I mean the lifestyle shit now that’s essentially become beer in tone.) When one’s going serious with a focus on heritage, the other is pulling Bud-like stunts or giving a nod to the spirit of Captain Morgan. Even Jack Daniels is now out with yet another look.

I’m not saying keep the same messaging for 20 years, but doesn’t it feel like the multiple voices of each undermine the uniqueness of their respective brands? Going back to Bud, even though a beer, they come off as one of the few brands that’s been able to strike a balance between heritage, the feel-good, and the lol funny!

That said, Guys are still guys rules in some spots, while the “maturity” of Ketel One’s Real Man™ post-metrosexual speaks to an older and *richer* demo. But then in the same category, you have a classic brand like Smirnoff that literally owned the real man positioning forever (as your dad’s vodka), somewhere along the line became Captain Morgan with its giant dog vibe.

I like trying something new, I just think ultimately, there’s something to always be said for focusing on the distinct flavor of the product, not just the uniqueness of a dick joke that advertises it.

Stay thirsty my friends.