They need a freakin' job.

No, not the cast of Jersey Shore. I’m sure the White House is thrilled to see social media being thrown back in their face. Way it goes though, in a democracy. Well, me hometown Buffalonians won’t be winning any Gold Lions with this overwrought and obnoxious spot, but, I Need A Freakin’ Job is trying at least. (I would’ve had the kid lift his head up and go “My daddy needs a freakin’ job.”)

Well, the naysayer in me would say first, how did they pay for the placement of the outdoor, the website hosting, graphic design, etc. (You’re apparently out of work, so I could understand having the time.) Second though, I’d also say stop waiting for the handout and apply your ass off to anything out there. (There appear to be openings for day laborers in Arizona.)










The kinder, gentler me though would say Buffalo is an industrial city that has had it more than its share of hard times with the economy as cheaper labor costs attracts Amercian companies abroad. (Not to mention troubles with a certain football team). It’s because of this that a little government assistance in the form of favorable economic policies to aid small business would be welcome. Instead, they’ve looked to casinos to bail them out. (Gambling and lottery tickets being the quick fix trap for any city in economic trouble apparently.)

So, Mr. President, woulda coulda help a few able-bodied, well-intentioned folk secure some labor? (They have a Facebook!) There’s something wrong when the Jersey Shore cast has better job options. On second thought, because of YouTube, they’ll be on the Today Show soon enough.

Scott Walker will not only pack a brown bag lunch, he'll eat it too.

Well, there *are* worse political memes than a Brown Bag Movement I suppose. “Scott Walker—a kindler, gentler Tea Party.” Have to admire the everyman vibe of the site and hard-working approach of a candidate who gives back his salary. I mean, he packs his own lunch in his own commercials! WHO DOES THAT? (Cue hordes of supporters a la The Unknown Comic along the campaign trail.) Although Scott, my cheese eatin, fireworks enjoyin’, indoor waterpark havin’ friend, if you think Wisconsin’s tax rates suck, try living in New Jersey or Connecticut.

I told you Kim Jong-il was the best dressed.

But did you listen? No.

Obama shows versatility.

While W was merely portrayed as a fascist, Obama is now a triple threat: Socialist, Muslim and Communist! Oba Mao is the latest incarnation slash play on words showing much love. Not gonna lie, that’s a pretty good play on words, if, you know, I were a political satirist slash t-shirt copywriter. I’m sorry, what, it isn’t just in China with flaming statues either? Washington, D.C. of all places, with the added bonus of a peace sign? Represent! Thankfully* the other coast still has its senses as there seems to be no hate in The Haight. (Or is there.)

*In a post referencing Godless isms, I didn’t think it right to use the words Thank G--.

It’s gotta be the pantsuit, right?

“Hi, yes, I was wondering, do you guys rent classic cars? Okay, cool. Yeah, I need like, a pick-up truck, maybe something older though. Ford? Eh, need something a little more centrist. Toyota? You’re kidding, right? I’m thinking Chevy. You DO? It’s a ’64? Red too? TRIFECTA! Hits the white male boomer demo! (*We’ll get her to wear a smart pansuit, blue this time, plus it's supposed to be overcast that day. Kodak moment with the whole flag American apple pie thing*) Can you hold it for me, someone will be right down. Hey, one more thing, you guys take checks? No, we’re good for it, really.”

Why politics is messed up in America.

It’s not the two-party system–it’s bad hats.



(Image via Drudge.)