Following you on Twitter.

You know, now that they mention it, there ARE a few suspicious people on Twitter lately. Talking about conversation, engagement and empowered consumers. Might wanna look into those people... if, you know, you were paranoid enough.

A urinal is now following me on Twitter.

This is a follow-up to my recent post on Falcon Waterfree. You know, PeeGreen, the urinal people. After it ran they started following me, leading to an email from VP of Marketing Randall Goble who thanked me for my comments. Which, after I went back and reread, might have come off as a bit harsh.

Although not directed at them per se, rather, the larger category of people on Twitter who blast product info and little else. Still, I could see where he should’ve been more annoyed than he was for me calling them out.

It’s the kind of thing too where brands hesitate doing anything online because bloggers are always watching and pointing out the little things. Not always, but, point taken. People in advertising and marketing tend to notice executional details more than consumers might, but, they also watch for things that really stand out too. Just do something interesting and the rest will take care of itself.

What I referenced back to him was George Parker’s favorite Blentec Will It Blend series everyone knows, and how a seemingly bland product like a blender took on a new life for the category simply by blending anything.

It’s also the kind of thing that a brand without a large marketing budget can do. This addresses a common complaint found here in the comments of the beach tampon stunt post, where one brand felt they can’t compete with a guerilla stunt simply because they don’t have the money.

Not that I suggest a Will It Flush series, because, well it’s been done, but Falcon’s on their way with the tone of their Twitter updates. (Maybe a How Much Can It Hold?) The thing that makes Blendtec work though is that it appeals to a wide audience. People like seeing cool stuff like blenders destroying iPhones.

But it’s not just them, you can take any product and find a way to connect with consumers simply by doing something interesting with it, something other than what it may have been intended for. For example, you own Acme Vice company. Vice = boring, right? So you put stuff in a vice and see how much pressure it takes to crush things. And so on...

The other thing here is that Falcon was aware enough of what was being said to reach out. It’s one of the other components to all of this stuff: Finding out who’s talking about you. What good is publishing a content stream if you aren’t monitoring both directions in and out of your brand?

Now I can say I follow a urinal on Twitter.

Green pee is now following you on Twitter.

Plaid gets the best follows I swear. The updates in this one are typical brand-speak with links to all things Falcon. Wasted effort promoting industry products like this because commercial real estate developers are the audience. That’s not to say they can’t be on it, it’s a free country. Why not broaden the appeal though and post links to 10 famous urinal explosions or something. Every damn update doesn’t have to be lifted from your brochure. This isn’t rocket scientry. Make it interesting.

A house is now following you on Twitter.

A house. On Twitter. Based on the follows I’ve gotten from all walks of life, this shouldn’t have surprised me, but, a house. I’ve gotten a ton of “green” followers lately too, but this takes things a little farther, donnit? On Twitter. A house. (I don’t mind because, well, I keep waiting for Kit from Knight Rider to follow me, so a house is just one more step. Talking VW? I could see that too.) But what became odd was several people for the house started following me as well. Ehhh, rather you just stay with the gimmick of the house sans people. I said sans.

Rodi don’t need no stinkin’ Twitter.

He didn’t have enough in the budget for an ER theme, and he couldn’t really afford purple sequins, but what he did have was a story told through song. No Facebook auto body group. No Twitter. Just a dent puller, a dream and a friend from the old neighborhood who could carry a tune.

But if you don’t have a huge ad budget and the urge to tweet overtakes you? Don’t do what every other small business owner does there or any marketing space. Don’t just list an address, tell me a little about stuff that’s happened. Make it interesting.














I get followed by all kinds of people on Twitter, and I’m sure 123carpetclean does a good job. Loves the family enough to even feature them in the profile using that tried and true small-biz ad tactic: Who doesn’t likes kids and pets. But instead of basically listing info I could find in the Yellow pages, why not tell me about carpet mishaps. Or the time you walked around the bck of the house and found two mimes shooting a porno. What really works on gum when I don’t know how many times I told you little bastards NO CANDY IN THE BEDRO... sorry. Or maybe a celebrity who was a real jerk but who you’ll keep nameless. (You gotta have stories. Nobody walks cleans their own carpets in LA, right?)

Twitter, Facebook, YouTube, whatever. So you’re on it, so what. Do something with it. Don’t just be happy to be there.

OpenSwordfish is now following you on Twitter!

Okay, the racing Maybachs on the Autobahn or flying in outer space thing I could go for, (in their About section), but I’m wondering what list the Swordfish Society on Twitter got my name off because, well, I don’t do secret societies. (Did it once, got a rash. Long story. Hey, don’t judge—I saw The Da Vinci Code. The Priory of Sion is real.) You haven’t seen luxury this luxurious since Trump.

sagrada familia is now following you on Twitter!

Who smells new feature! I do. It’s easy when Twitter gives you such target-rich material. So after I blasted Volvo’s lame effort, I have to give props for an incomplete church in Spain coming to life as a real thing—even if it is a bizarre as shit choice for a character on Twitter. Next up: Lincoln’s Gettysburg address is now following you on Twitter?

“The New Volvo XC60 (VolvoXC60) is now following your updates on Twitter.”

Sexy! Words I fear slightly less than Charles Manson is now following you but congrats Volvo: Absolutely clueless and obnoxious move going on Twitter this way. Just curious who in the agency said “Hey, I know—Twitter account!” The planner? The art director? A—wait for it—social media guru? Awesome.