Why didn’t you people tell me Dan Aykroyd has a spirit vodka?

I get a lot of PR releases when I work the day shift at AdRants, but this one might have to go out for bronzing. It’s not much on the surface:

Actor, screenwriter, musician and now distiller Dan Aykroyd, whose credits include Saturday Night Live, The Blues Brothers, Ghostbusters and Driving Miss Daisy, will sign purchased bottles of his Crystal Head Vodka at the PA Wine & Spirits store at 1218 Chestnut St., Philadelphia, from 4 p.m. to 6 p.m. on Thursday, Sept. 10.

Until you check out the Crystal Head Vodka website that includes the clip above. I mean, I knew he had a wine, but a vodka? In a bottle modeled after a human head? This IS a revelation. Even bigger than his revelation about UFOs, which, looking back now, dovetails nicely and explains a lot. Watch the clip and be amazed. Oh, and be amazed by the $49.99 price tag too.

ABC. ALWAYS. BE. CAREFUL.

You never know when that answering machine message will come back to haunt you. Guess Kim wasn’t the psycho after all. Man, someone call DYFS after listening to Baldwin go off on his daughter. If this is part of the 30 Rock promotion to have Alec call your friend and leave a message, sign me up.

“Ok, let’s run this around the room for some possible excuses, yeah, Al, whatta ya got?

“Jet lag. Makes you fucking nuts man.”

“Ok, but he didn’t fly that day, he was on the set. Look, we gotta work a stimulant in there people, otherwise he ain’t ever seeing the kid again. C’mon, look at Gibson for Christ’s sake. Gimmee something.”

“Maybe he thought he was talking to Stephen or Billy?”

“Nah, going off on the born again guy–wouldn’t look good. (Which one’s born again?)”

“Stephen.”

“Sorry. How about No-Doze? He loaded up on the set?”

“Good, good. Jimmy, whatta ya got?”

“Imus comments sent him over the edge.”

“Eh, can’t piggyback on a racial comment in the same week. Unwritten rule.”

“Ok, how about he heard a rumor Kim was seeing Ed Norton.”

“PERFECT. I’d be out of my fucking mind. Sweet. Run with it.”

(via TMZ via Drudge.)

Tags: Alec Baldwin

Donald Trump sent me another letter.

He wants to teach me the secrets of success. Actually, his son will be teaching the class. Think I’ll pass. See, first secret to success is to make sure you get the prospect’s name right. Second secret is pretty obvious: make sure your dad is already disgustingly rich and passes it down to you. (Click to enlarge.)

Tags: Donald Trump

Anna Nicole embalmed under tight security.

Just how does that work anyway? There’s so many people involved with her now that I can connect Kevin Bacon in three steps.

Tags: Anna Nicole

Madonna: “I want to be like Gandhi”

Britney Spears promptly one-upped her by shaving her head and getting some new ink, saying “If she can wear Gandhi, so can I.” Spears was later reported despondent after being told the spiritual leader was not an Italian fashion designer.

Look, Britney, all we are saying, is give GEDs a chance.

(via Daily Mail)

Tags: Madonna, Gandhi, Britney Spears

More Ricky Gervais.

Yeah, yeah. I should marry him and the Geico caveman I talk about them so much. Fucking guy is funny, what can I say. Coolzor has clips of Gervais on the Opie & Anthony show. Check him out talking about The Office and the origin of his character David Brent, not to mention the art of subtle comedy. Something the absolutely criminal American version of the show would do well to emulate more. Sorry, U.K. Office was just better. (He also filmed a scene in this season’s premiere of 24 which may or may not make it into the DVD extras.)

Tags: Ricky Gervais, The Office

Everything has a Second Life on YouTube.

“Shatner’s doing poetry now. You gotta get me something. Anything. Fucking dog food commercial, I don’t care. What? Bilbo Baggins? Hmm, no, can’t say as I’ve heard of it. How bad can it be, right?”

Tags: Leonard Nimoy, Ballad of Bilbo Baggins

K-Fed, the ultimate target rich environment.

Tom Arnold lives apparently. It’s just too easy. Tooooo easy. Sometimes gold falls into your lap on a Friday afternoon. Got the new Nationwide PR promo with K-Fed that was sent to me and most ad blogs, complete with their own page on the YT featuring the spot. Only thing I would’ve done different on the commerical is have Vanilla Ice sweeping up at the end. Maybe that would’ve been too much star power for the :30 seconds though. Ohio might short out. The crowning jewel though is his Q&A. It may not be as in-depth as James Lipton would like, but it’s close:

On what we can expect from the Fed in ’07:
“... This Nationwide commercial is the first chance for the world to see the new Kevin Federline.”

The third-person is alive and kickin’ in Oh-seven yo.

On the Fed’s influences:
“I have influences in all genres of music, from pop to rock to hip-hop and rap.”

Yep. That hip-hop to rap spectrum is insanely wide. Fuck country, classical, folk or jazz I guess.

On this past year’s troubles:
“...roll with the punches and move on.”

WoRd 2 the G yo.

Read the whole thing here. And for more fun, don’t forget to check out Starveillance’s dead-on look at Mr. and Mrs. Brit. You can also waste some time throwing down with both in a flash game here.

Tags: K-Fed, Nationwide, brands, Super Bowl spot