I heart Super Bowl spot.

I’m amazed by pharma on so many levels. Simply amazed.

Tags: American Heart Association, King pharamaceuticals, Super Bowl spot

Mr. Sulu, ahead mock factor 5.

Is there anything Shatner won’t promote? Not only is he in the current Negotiator spots for Priceline, but I just heard a radio spot for Gillette’s Fusionoid Mach 15. Not three blades - fifteen mister. There’s more though, there always is. Next month the Milwaukee Ballet will feature his spoken word brilliance in a special performance. What’s next, pics of him coming out of a motel room with the King? George Forman, move over.

Tags: priceline, William Shatner

Flip this brand.

Find an old brand, revitalize it and get new buyers interested. A reimagining. A resurrection. Whatever you want to call it. However, all ‘flips’ are not the same. Take the new Old Spice stuff. It’s got an edge, appealing to the Axe crowd while leveraging boomer memories of that vile substance. Even though I hate the stuff, I like the work. Time will tell if they’ll move product, but when compared to the efforts behind another flipped brand I hate, I’ll still take the Spice.

That brand is Ovaltine.

I seriously don’t know why the target wants to be Wonder bread-eating, master race bred, Brady Bunch, gated suburban community-living 10 year-olds named Johnny. Done by the Himmel group, the radio spots that everyone has heard guarantee I will hate the Ovaltine brand for pretty much... forever. I’m sure there are certain moms from the demo above who won’t; I just don’t know any.

There’s the school of thought that says that as long as ads like these work, who cares about creativity. Lowermybills.com, Orbitz, etc., use this rational. Ok, so some in your audience love the spots while others don’t, let alone ever plan to use the brand. Why settle for a part of any audience though when you could go after a larger one, no? (Even HeadOn throws in the typical line “I can’t stand your commercial, but your product is amazing!” in their current spots.)

Others say that even if you hate our ads, we were still able to get some of that valuable consumer mind space (or insert other generic consumer term here), and that’s always good. Yes - but. Only if you got it for the right reasons and only if it’s a postive impression. If the ads annoy though, it doesn’t take a shrink to figure out that you’ve planted some negative impressions in my head about your brand and pissed me off.

I’ll never use Old Spice because it’s something I don’t wear. Likewise, I’ll also never drink Ovaltine. I just don’t drink chocolate mix drinks like that. The difference is important though. Because of the coolness of their campaign, the Old Spice brand left me with a positive impression to be used at a later date. Ovaltine? Banned for life.

Tags: Old Spice, Ovaltine, brands

Learn how to earn with Professor Trump.

At least he doesn’t bullshit you on the goal. The Donald wants to make you an offer you can’t refuse. A LONG offer.

Tags: Trump University, The Donald, Donald Trump

To the Cave Crib.

Just checked out the microsite called Caveman’s Crib. Looks like royalties from their spots have them living the high life mon ami. Ok, before you bitch, Logo freaks know I love the campaign so here I go and others can take the hate somewhere else. Nice microsite with Flash work that’s solid and fast. Great integration of the campaign in everything as you explore each area too. (Read the magazine on the table to see where they take things. There’s also a hint of a blog on the laptop. I’d like to see more of that though, blog whore that I am.) Like the rest of the TV spots, the Geico branding’s also there, just not as much. You already know the campaign so less is more in this case. Besides, I’m guessing a lot of people like me will spend more than just two seconds going through the site. Far as I’m concerned, that time is as valuable as watching any brand logo in the righthand corner.

Semi-update: The site was actually done in-house by Geico, who tells me the one of the cavemen will be playing golf with Phil Simms in his “All-Iron Team: The Difference Makers,” airing before the game on Sunday between 1:00 and 2:00 pm.

Tags: Geico cavemen, caveman’s crib

Brands avoid Super Bowl.

Via adage.com comes word that a few top brands are still planning on taking a pass. Other brands like Dove and Doritos are hedging their bets and breeding consumer generated spots with the traditional buy. The rest? A waste of time and money for some of those brands. The efforts of some pretty talented post-production people working 24/7 from now until the game will be wasted. They always are. Dirt Devil with Fred Astaire anyone? Sign me up.

All a brand needs is to be noticed. Nothing else. Too many are overthinking this thing way too much. GoDaddy schooled brands and still nobody pays attention. I have a free solution so simple that somebody will do it eventually during the year. Then brands will be like, ‘Hey, why didn’t we do that?” Well, you can. Now. Email me. No guts, no glory.

Tags: advertising, Super Bowl

HAI KARATE! The original Axe.

Over 30 years ago, before Axe was, well, Axe, there was Hai Karate. Among a select group of ‘scents,’ Hai Karate was the original liquid lust. Sure, you had Old Spice, Aqua Velva and wait for it – English Leather. But HK stood head and shoulders above the rest. With a warning like “Be careful how you use it,” what woman could resist our man Wendell after he splashed some on. Even the TV spots were geared around self-defense. It also came with its own guide on how to protect yourself. Sassy. And although it’s discontinued, you can still find it on ebay. (Click image to enlarge.)
Tags: Old Spice, Hai Karate, English Leather, Axe

Fishing with John.

No show like this. That’s not easy to say around here. John Lurie hosted Fishing With John, the most surreal fishing show I’ve seen this side of SCTV’s Fishin’ Musician. It had a six-episode run back in the early ‘90s with guests like Dennis Hopper and Tom Waits. Complimenting the whole thing was the deadpan narration of Robb Webb. You can check out a clip with Waits on YT.

Update: my boy Zeke points me to the season 1 DVD of SpongeBob Squarepants and the episode ‘Hooky’ where they mix in a clip of John and Jim Jarmusch fishing.

Tags: Fishing with John

Ford Fairlane’s bold move.

Just when I thought reality TV had run out of ideas.

Tags: VH1, Andrew Dice Clay, reality tv

Jane’s addiction.

What a shock.



Tags: anti-war protest

END BAD SIGNS NOW!

Please, people please. If you’re gonna protest, could ya at least come up with better writing and art direction? “END THE WAR!” Wow. “IMPEACH BUSH FOR WAR CRIMES.” Stunning use of all caps. “U.S. OUT OF IRAQ.” I smell Clio.

Whatever happened to the craftsmen who knew how to produce good old-fashioned all-American propaganda? These kids today, man.

Tags: war protest, bad protest art, WWII poster

Internet to revolutionize TV in 5 years: Gates.

Way to be on top of that Bill. Good Jobs. (via Drudge)

Tags: Bill Gates

America’s greatest one-line actor.

“Pound for pound, there’s nobody better.”
“The video evidence my friend, is painfully clear.”
“Need a punchline to the drama?”
“He’s your man.”
“Except for possibly this guy.”
“We’ll see – won’t we.”

Tags: David Caruso, CSI Miami

Gore + Chic = tres chic.

Oh those whacky French. From Skinbag comes ‘a sensuel fashion without complacency.’ Their words, not mine, I swear. I’d just as soon call it a clothing and accessories line Hannibal Lechter would love. Even though it’s only made from synthetic skin, something about it still feels really freaky.

Tags: Skinbag

Who needs playing time when you have endorsement deals.

Oh he’s gonna fit right in here JUST fine. Even after word comes that he and Real Madrid are parting ways acrimoniously, Becks is unfazed. Doesn’t matter if he ever steps on a pitch again, because like most pro ballers, he’s already taken care of business off of it. Annie Leibovitz is shooting him as part of Disney’s new ‘Where Dreams Come True’ campaign.

Tags: David Beckham, Disney, MLS, Annie Leibovitz

Hey Billary, get used to the view.

Tags: Obama, Hillary

Let Fabio hang up your clothes.

Order from the Kohler of closets and we’ll throw him in for one month free.

Tags: advertising, California Closets, brands, Fabio

Weekly what the...?

Eddie & Van Halen reunion. Only thing better is if Tiny Kiss opens for them. (via Drudge/Review journal)
• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •
JACK BAUER’S KILL COUNT AND HAND SIGNALS OF DEATH. (VIA BUZZ PATROL)
• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •
Breast-Boosting Beer. Enough said. (via Brew Site)
• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •
Speaking of Crazy Eddie, here’s the original.
• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •
Got squirrel? (via Doych)

Tags: Jack Bauer, 24, Crazy Eddie, Van Halen tour

Consumer generated Budweiser?

A few Logo freaks sent in stuff on Bud’s upcoming spots. Adrants has it as well. Got me thinking though, they haven’t belly-flopped into the CGC swimming pool yet. No beer has actually. Closest I can think of with an amateurish YouTube look was the Ted Ferguson stuff from Bud. I probably jinxed it now. Next week: the Budweiser homemade rocket. Sponsored by these guys.

Tags: Ted Ferguson, Budweiser, consumer generated content, Super Bowl commercials

Remember when you used to have to...

Don’t know if there’s a term for the practice, but there should be. Obsolete technological compensation maybe? It’s that thing you always had to do but no longer have to:

- Breaking off tabs on VHS tapes so you wouldn’t record over them.
- Walking lightly near any record playing.
- Laughing at SNL skits.

You know, stuff like that.

Tags: SNL, Wite-Out, VHS

Ansel Adams: landscapes, weddings and internments.

This was a pretty eye-opening collection I came across. (Japanese internment + free press = see: irony.) As much I’d studied his classic landscape work, I never knew he’d shot people actually, let alone things like this. So much for my history of photography college class.

Tags: Manzanar Japanese internment camp, Ansel Adams

?

This is why I don’t live near power lines.

(via Drudge)

Tags: frilled shark

Random acts of logo.

Getting back on task, what better way to follow a political rant than with something that sums up what this blog rails against: bigger, badder logos and plenty of them. I give you the Cadillac of wtf logos and a matching website you have to see to believe. Find out why they say they’re “Covering The World In Gel!” Actually, I don’t know how you could find that out. Still, it has a certain ‘He slimed me’ quality about it.

Laddies and lassies, I give you, Pals Breast Enhancer.

Tags: Pals Breast Enhancer

We ALMOST got a big idea last night.

(It ain’t all ad stuff here logo freaks, time to vent.)

I was expecting leadership last night. Been expecting it for some time actually. No, not sending troops in harm’s way type leadership.

Big Idea leadership. Man on the moon leadership. I almost got it last night.

Looking at the country during the 1960’s, then as now, people were split on the war. But, they also had before them a goal of putting a man on the moon. Maybe it was a distraction from the war, who knows. It was a big idea though and the best people this country had worked their asses off to make it happen.

That’s what I was looking for from the President last night. A big idea.

So the idea I had some time ago is one that might not only help the auto and agricultural industries, but also help America get back to doing what it does best: inventing things. It also addresses the issue of our dependence on oil. You keep hearing the same thing from ALL the pundits and you heard it again last night: “We need to curb our dependence on foreign oil.”

Nope.

We need to eliminate our dependence on oil – totally. No matter where it comes from. (And we import a lot from Canada at around 40% too. Problem is, they also gave us Rush, Phil Hartman and William Shatner so I can’t hate.) Yes there are alternate energy sources, and yes, we can drill domestically or even mine for more coal.

Face it though, coal mines collapse and the oil supply won’t last forever. I’m also not about to retrofit a Hyundai with a Homer Simpon^® Nuclear Reactor kit or add a giant wind turbine to my Toyota either.

Instead, I suggest the President set not only a fixed goal (he semi-did), but go ahead and really propose something bigger besides some phased-in watered-down goal. He needs to challenge everyone from janitors to Mt. Dew-chugging grad students at MIT with the ultimate citizen generated contest to come up with the following:

In 10 years, we need to completely replace the use of oil as a fuel source for everything. Develop a car that can run on 100% corn or even a corn-based fuel any car can use, whatever. But it needs to work by then. Failure is not an option. Use the negative space and reverse the problem if it helps. Pop quiz hotshot: in 10 years, our supply of oil runs out, whatta you do? If there was a comet heading this way you can bet NASA’s calling Bruce Willis and Stephen Hawking. Why is this any different?

Make it run on salt water if you want, I don’t care, but invent it. I know we had one in a garage in Boise some time ago, but Detroit’s black helicopters made it go away. Bring it back. Forget costs. Forget how clean it will burn. All of that crap. Do it now.

We put a man on the moon, we can do this.

It will revive the agricultural industry and let farmers get full value for their land. Sure, prices for cattle feed might go up. So what. Automakers will also bitch because this disrupts the oil industry and the incestuous relationship they have with it. So what. They’ll adapt, continue to make money and we’ll pay more – we always do. Would the world economy be upset? Probably. So what. I bet as many positive developments would emerge as anything though.

And the big three in Detroit aren’t going to stop making cars if the fuel source changes, are they? Nope. So what’s the problem? We get held hostage over how much we spend on oil and where we get it, but do nothing. We bitch because our best die while some yell “No blood for oil!” and other propaganda. Want to really ‘level’ the Middle East though?

Tell them we don’t need oil anymore. And oh, by the way, if you guys want to license the technology from us, guess how much it’ll cost bitch.

Forget installing Democracy v 2.0 in Iraq. American ingenuity is the single greatest weapon we have. Period. Inventing something like that would reinstall American Know-How^™ 3.0 back here where it belongs. Sure, like most ideas we have, other countries may eventually copy us and make it faster, better and cheaper. But we would’ve invented it first. That’s what we do.

Instead, we got: “drill more in ANWR.” So much for a Big Idea.

Tags:President Bush state of the union address

Super Bowl push.

DaBitch has some spoiler stuff on commercials that will be shown. Little advance look at some A-B work for the upcoming Big Game sent in from Chris over at MMM as well. As usual, looks like a lotta money will be spent on big-ass productions. I still have another solution though.

Tags: advertising, Super Bowl spots, brands

JACK BAUER’S EARS CAN KILL YOU.

I’M BACK WITH ANOTHER WARNING: I BIT MY OWN EARS OFF TO STREAMLINE THE KILL PROCESS. DON'T LOOK AT THEM. EVER. THE PARTS THAT ARE LEFT CAN STILL KILL. FOR MORE FACTS ABOUT ME, YOU ARE ADVISED TO “TURN AROUND!” AND GO HERE.

Tags: JACK BAUER, 24, PUT DOWN YOUR WEAPON, JACK BAUER MEANS DEATH, KIEFER SUTHERLAND GRAVITAS, JACK BAUER FACTS

“Dear White Castle, I never thought this would happen to me.”

Maybe it’s been around for a while, but something about True Castle Stories just feels fake odd with posts like this. I wanted a cool story about how two dudes bought 11,000 crave cases and filled up someone’s dorm room to the ceiling. Or the time they bought 200 large fries and tried to feed the bears through the fence by holding them in their teeth. innstead, u get like realy bad chat talk.

Tags: White Castle

See ya monkeys.

Self-referential much? During the upcoming Super Bowl Big Game “watch the Careerbuilder.com ads evolve” and kill off the monkeys. You mean, like right before my eyes? A monkey morphs into a man maybe? Damn, and I thought with consumer generated anything, the ‘people’ would tell brands when they’ve had enough of their ads.

Tags: Careerbuilder, Super Blow spots

Easy Peyton Marino.

You still have one game left Mr. “6’ 5” 230 lb. quarterback, laser-rocket arm.”



Tags: Peyton Manning, Sprint, Indianapolis Colts, New England is a bunch of punk bitches

What should we call it?

More private label naming madness from the aisles of your local grocery store. If you think our bags are Awesome, try our Rad toilet paper or the Whoa Dude drinking straws.

Tags: supervalu

Die SNL, die.

Not much else to do Saturday night except check out how spectacularly unfunny the show is now. I think the Logan’s Run law should be invoked in this case: all shows over 30 years old should just be eliminated in a circular lightshow of death.

Tags: SNL

Find ‘it’ on YouTube.

Forget eBay, no matter what ‘it’ is, you can absolutely find anything on YouTube. Take the classic Ultraman for example. Was there any finer fakery in a sci-fu show?

I doubt it.

Tags: Ultraman

Sports logo heaven.

Name a logo from any sport and it’s probably on Logoserver, even if you’re a Peoria Pirate or a Bridgeport Bluefish.

(via Brand Infection)

Tags: advertising, team logos

K-Fed, the ultimate target rich environment.

Tom Arnold lives apparently. It’s just too easy. Tooooo easy. Sometimes gold falls into your lap on a Friday afternoon. Got the new Nationwide PR promo with K-Fed that was sent to me and most ad blogs, complete with their own page on the YT featuring the spot. Only thing I would’ve done different on the commerical is have Vanilla Ice sweeping up at the end. Maybe that would’ve been too much star power for the :30 seconds though. Ohio might short out. The crowning jewel though is his Q&A. It may not be as in-depth as James Lipton would like, but it’s close:

On what we can expect from the Fed in ’07:
“... This Nationwide commercial is the first chance for the world to see the new Kevin Federline.”

The third-person is alive and kickin’ in Oh-seven yo.

On the Fed’s influences:
“I have influences in all genres of music, from pop to rock to hip-hop and rap.”

Yep. That hip-hop to rap spectrum is insanely wide. Fuck country, classical, folk or jazz I guess.

On this past year’s troubles:
“...roll with the punches and move on.”

WoRd 2 the G yo.

Read the whole thing here. And for more fun, don’t forget to check out Starveillance’s dead-on look at Mr. and Mrs. Brit. You can also waste some time throwing down with both in a flash game here.

Tags: K-Fed, Nationwide, brands, Super Bowl spot

Your better half.

Scamp has a few good tips on finding the right ad partner.

Britney reading about herself in US Weekly. Isn’t that like crossing the streams though? (via Perezhilton.com)

Tags: mom I’d like to forget, Britney Spears, K-Fed’s daddy, mother of the year

More Ovaltine please.

While we bask in the Jennifer afterglow this morning, let us not forget that the current Ovaltine radio spots aren’t off the hook by a long shot. They still hold the pole position.

Tags: Ovaltine, Lowermybills.com

We have a name people.

Thanks to HighJive for the tip and to Jetpacks for a way better title than mine. Meet the people behind the Lowermybills.com adstravaganza. I’ll spare you the rehash. (You may have to login to the NYT first though.) I can only say that the attitude of the brand is typical though when it comes to advertising techniques like this: “Don’t Like the Dancing Cowboys? Results Say You Do.” I have to disagree. Unless your success rate is 100%, then everybody doesn’t like them. I won’t use them, I promise. I’ve been through several re-fis already without them. In fact, let me write their next ad: “I will lose my house before I use lowermybills.com.”

Just like I will never use Orbitz or Phoenix University.

Why? Because early on, their ads intruded on my space constantly whenever I went to a site or read an article. Then, after they got the traffic they wanted, they cut back and ran regular ads that play nice with the rest of the page. Sorry. They give the impression that they’re the obnoxious jerk at the party who won’t leave you alone. The sleazy car guy who whisks you over to a desk to sign the papers. Brand building? Gets your attention? Anything can do that. I could shoot a pile of dog crap and run it in an ad to get attention too. But I wouldn’t. Attention is one thing, brand building is another.

On second thought, hey Lowermybills, I have an idea for a Super Bowl spot. By now, you must have the money since the ads are working so well. Email me.

Tags: lowermybills.com

Eddie Van WTF.

I saw this bizarre face in the bookstore yesterday and for a second I went, holy shit, when did Eddie Van Halen start looking like Neil Young? I swear I will never say another bad thing about Britney after reading about what’s happened to Eddie and the band. First though, self-confessed Van Halen freak here. Mrs. Logo and I saw them countless times – the David Lee version, not Van Hagar thank you very much. Can still draw that stupid little ‘VH’ logo with the wings too.

See, you have to understand, (old school knows this all too well), before Eddie, the only name in guitar that made you go ‘wow’ was Jimi. Period. End of story. (Forget Eric. Don’t even get me started there.) Oh sure, you had super groups like Led Zeppelin, Queen and Yes with Jimmy Page, Brian May and Steve Howe respectively. As great as they were though, they didn’t sound like this guy.

Then, along came Bruce Lee with a Strat and everyone was like wtf, how’d he do that?

FF >> 20+ years later to find out Bruce Lee divorced his TV sitcom trophy wife, needed a hip replacement from running into speakers all those years, lost part of his tongue to cancer but recovered by using meth, fired-hired-lather-rinse-repeat about 20 lead singers, scored a porn movie, then fired his original bassist in favor of his 15 year-old son Wolfgang*, and now announces a reunion tour to do the whole thing all over again with the guy he kicked out in the first place.

Even Courtney Love is going wtf. (I realize that’s a lot of wtf-age in this post, but somehow, it fits.) So now, all can do is just wait for EVH to show up trashed at an AARP member concert, fire his son during the concert, then spontaneously combust.

*While getting kicked out of a band comes with the rock territory, this has to qualify as a cap A, numero uno kick in the nuts. Especially when it’s by someone who at one point wasn’t even born yet while you were busy sorting out the brown M&M’s from the groupies on the tour bus.

Tags: Eddie Van Halen, Van Halen

Quick, who shot this?

Yeah, me neither. While I know Coltrane, Basie and Getz, I never knew they were shot by Pete Turner, who I came across in an article in filter magazine. The photographer with the moody artist style has a new book out on the subject. His close-up style was new to a record world used to the typical high school portrait shot of smiling musicians.

It’s also easy to loose sight of just how impactful Recordcoverart-o-saurus really was when compared to today’s CD labels only a third of the size. Worse, compare jewel case labels to the accompanying image in a typical iTunes download that’s maybe a quarter of that and you can see just how much impact is lost.

(His work is also in a current exhibition through early February at the George Eastman House museum after which it will go on tour.)

Tags: The Color of Jazz, Pete Turner

“I know that voice.”

- John (James) Facenda. NFL Films.
- Don LaFontaine. Movie trailers, Geico, etc.
- Richard Dreyfuss. Honda, Apple, etc.
- This guy. (Gimmee a name people, it’s slipped my mind.) Apple, Visa “It’s everywhere you want to be” and more.
- Mason Adams. Smuckers.
- James Earl Jones. Yellow pages, etc.
- Billy Crudup. Mastercard.
- Ken Nordine. Classic Levi’s.

UPDATE: Props to Jason Fox at The AdHole for the tip on Ed Grover, the VISA/Apple guy.

Tags: VO artists

Saul Bass on meth.

Funky 60’s print from Dakine but a website from the late 90’s.

Tags: advertising, dakine

Original mystery.

Something compellingly odd from Munsingwear. Steve Buscemi in the den with the candlestick? You tell me. (Click image to enlarge and see the icons at lower left.)

Tags: Original Penguin, Munsingwear, Clue

My Super Bowl :30 spot guarantee.

Since a few brands don’t seem to be hopping on the $2.6 million dollar for :30 second bandwagon, thought I’d help. Here’s my offer to any brand, regardless of the category you’re in:

I guarantee the creation of a Super Bowl spot that people will be talking about the next day.

The charge? None. Free. Zilch. Not one fee for creative. No fee for production either. No mark-up on anything. You buy the slot. That’s it. All you brands still on the fence about whether or not to get into ‘The Big Game’ have nothing to lose, because if you don’t like the concept, you don’t have to run it. You’re no worse off than you are now. Dollar for dollar though, this will be the most effective spot in ‘Big Game’ history.

(Don’t worry, it’ll make it past the censors. I’m not going to pitch a live execution or anything illegal. If you have really deep pockets, the idea can even be stretched across several spots during the game, but that’s not necessary.)

So email if you’re a brand with the guts and $2.6 million laying around.

Or, you can just produce another gorgeously shot wet highway racing sequence that will fade quicker than the four hour erection in the subsequent pharma spot. Maybe even fall back on another Burt Reynolds bear idea. Which by the way, will still cost $2.6 million, plus an additional mill Burt wanted this time around for his own tour bus. The one he won’t come out of for a sponsor meet ’n greet. Oh, and the bear took a dump on the set – which you just stepped in.

Marketing directors, it’s your call, but you may regret taking a pass. Especially after the standard chimps you just know somebody will be using end up with better recall than your brand. Could’ve had my idea instead – for a lot less.

Either way, this is absolutely for real. Email me at makethelogobigger@earthlink.net to talk about it.

Tags: NFL, Super Bowl ad, Super Bowl spot guarantee

I was looking for something to post about today’s MLK commemoration that won’t already be written by people far more eloquent than yours truly. So why not film. I came across only one feature about him that wasn’t a documentary or tribute, called King with Paul Winfield from 1978. In the ‘odder still’ category, I also discovered that Ralph Bakshi of Fritz the Cat fame directed an MLK biography of his own in 1971.

Tags: Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., MLK

JACK BAUER SAVES THE DAY - AGAIN.

“PUT DOWN YOUR WEAPON!” I AM JACK BAUER AND I MEAN DEATH. I AM HERE TO SAVE THE DAY FOR YET ANOTHER SEASON OF 24. I HAVE TWO VOICE LEVELS: WHISPERING AND SHOUTING. RIGHT NOW, I’M NOT IN A WHISPERING MOOD. I HAVE ALSO ADDED THE ABILITY TO KILL BY BITING YOUR JUGULAR TO MY EXISTING REPERTOIRE OF NON-SMILING DEATH. (BAUER IS ACTUALLY GERMAN FOR “JACK BAUER MEANS DEATH.” (YOU KNEW THAT THOUGH, DON’T LIE OR I WILL BEAT IT OUT OF YOU WITH A PEN.) SPEAKING OF SMILING, I DON’T. EVER. NOT WHEN I YELL “TURN AROUND!” AND NOT EVEN WHEN I KILL, WHICH, YOU THINK I WOULD, RIGHT? BUT I’M OLD-SCHOOL LIKE THAT IN A JOHN WAYNE SORTA WAY. I KILL, BUT I FEEL BAD ABOUT IT AFTER, EVEN THOUGH I’M GOOD AT IT. I GUESS YOU COULD SAY I’M TORN. ANYWAY, FORGET THAT TOUCHY-FEELY STUFF, JUST “TURN AROUND, THEN PUT DOWN YOUR WEAPON!” SORRY, THAT’S A HABIT I’M WORKING ON. WAIT, “PUT DOWN YOUR WEAPON, THEN TURN AROUND!” YEAH. THAT’S IT. OK, WHERE WAS I? OH YEAH. “PUT DOWN YOUR WEAPON AND TURN AROUND!” PLEASE, IF YOU HAVE ANYTHING TO SAY, ALL COMMENTS MUST RESPECT THE JACK BAUER 24 CODE OF ALL CAPS SHOUTING, AS IN “PUT DOWN YOUR WEAPON!”

Tags: JACK BAUER, 24, PUT DOWN YOUR WEAPON, JACK BAUER MEANS DEATH, KIEFER SUTHERLAND GRAVITAS

A cheddarific funkabration.

Why not christen the new year with more marketing buzzword greatness. Yep. Those two just showed up on ad radar, and we’re not even out of January yet. Hope the Academy doesn’t overlook them come next December.

Tags: cheddarific, funkabration

“I got hit a lot as a kid too.”

I don’t advocate violence against models...until now.

Random techness.

- Check out Blog Talk Radio if you’re into podcasting and looking for an alternative to setting up your own show instead of the usual way. Some applications for it are here.

- Break more cellphone contracts in more places. (via Consumerist)

- Invest in wind power, but, um, you really don’t get anything back. (via strange new products)

- Advanced technology Silly String actually doing some good. (via gizmag)

Tags: advertising, Blog Talk Radio, tech stuff

Um...

This is why dogs come back in their next lives as pit bulls and attack their owners.

Tags: humiliation, embarrassed dog, too much free time

Geico cavemen meet the OC.

They’re back, drama and all.

Tags: advertising, Geico cavemen

We’re all critics.

Wouldn’t have it any other way. Most of the blogs I read have one take or another on campaigns that work, don’t work, suck, not suck, and so on. There’s stuff like the Geicio cavemen campaign that I love that others might hate hearing me mention by now, and vice versa.

At times however, I’ll see anonymous comments by agency people defending work that has obvious issues and labeling anyone who says otherwise as a hater. Please.

Whether it’s me, george, copyranter, hj, ernie or AC, the views expressed are the same ones I would bring up and expect to be brought up in a creative meeting or brainstorm session, especially if they were warranted. “Too punny, too ridiculous, already been done, etc.” Whatever the crit may be. Sometimes there’s sarcasm behind it, other times, anger as we let the F-bombs fly. Still, just because there’s emotion behind the writing doesn’t make it any less valid. Hurt feelings shouldn’t get in the way if it’s “all about the work,” a mantra I hear often.

After all, aren’t we judged by our books when we interview with CDs who turn pages at light speed? By clients who either love the new campaign or don’t think it works? Now true, if the only thing ad bloggers said was “this sucks,” then that wouldn’t really be constructive. That’s more though the typical ‘anonymous’ response in comments sections and not what I’m talking about. I mean legit crit.

Otherwise, CDs and clients would just love everything presented to them like my mommy loved that piece of shit crayon drawing I did in the 2nd grade. (Actually, mom was in rehab, but had she’d been home, she would’ve put in on the fridge, I just know it.)

I’d also hope in that meeting with other creatives we’d all be on the same wavelength about what’s going to work and what won’t. Creatives honest enough to bring up certain things they had a problem with. Those are the haters I wanna party with cowboy.

Tags: advertising, brands

Got King?

I dunno on this one. Looks like King is overpowering the whole campaign in this case. Plus, has it jumped by using a fictional character, let alone another brand? No gotmilk.com either. Yeah, I guess I’m just being a picky a-hole today.

Tags: advertising, got milk?

“He just acted like a relatively normal guy.”

Evil always does.

Tags: Pam and Craig Akers

A case of road rants.

Somebody show me in the NY state driving manual where it says get in the third lane, stay there and do 40 ..... more Pennsylvania deerhunters in camouflaged Dodge caravans please ..... Ohio needs more troopers every mile ..... speaking of every mile, Indiana needs more RV dealers. Actually, that might explain the RV Hall of Fame they’re home to. I did not know this previously. (I also wonder if people who take steroids ever get in.) ..... still trying to pronounce the governor’s name of Illinois ..... it’s becoming apparent that Wisconsin is making the guy who invented giant outdoor plastic animals richer than the motel hanger guy.

What else can you say? Sometimes life just turns its giant orange plastic ass on you.