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Mypeace in Australia is stirring things up with an ad campaign pushing the idea that Jesus was only the opening act, not the headliner. TV, outdoor and busvertising. Don’t forget the social networks? JESUS ON THE TWITTER.

Wouldn’t that be a myrrth?

New Jersey, I swear you do not disappoint. “Reasonable Since 1963.” What were they before? American Atheists are here to wish you Reason’s Greetings with a billboard sure to please just about anyone. Just what the hell are reasonble greetings, anyway? (I can still say hell with atheists, right?) I mean, “Hello” seems a reasonable greeting to me, or “Have a nice week off between December 25th and January 1st.” But seeing a Billboard Battle between them and the Catholic League might be enough to screw with the heads of kids everywhere. WHY MAKE THE LITTLE ONES WORK SO HARD FOR THEIR GIFTS.

Jesus draws two of a kind.

You! When He’s dealing? Never bet against the house.

Everyone welcome... even you.

Sunday means church. Here, it means church ads. Central Christian Church of Las Vegas works the misconception angle in a series of voiced scenarios addressing why people might not go. It’s down to earth and features a range of personality types not unlike YOU AND ME. Throw in a little dynamic animatype action, and it’s a spot that says CCC welcomes everyone. Nicely played, as they say.

(Via, via.)

Because marriage should be between two androids.

Man I am sorry for the seventies. Look, it wasn’t my fault.

Yes, but do they cover flood and pestilence?

Speaking of churches doing more with less. No, that’s not the result of one of those church sign generators, that would be a real church up the road from me running its monthly specials again. Talk about being in Good Hands. Who said the church wasn’t Progressive. God serves Travelers in All States. (Notice I’m REALLY trying to cover all the insurance mentions I can.)

Yes, the Methodists are on Twitter.

As part of a new $20 million dollar campaign to get people to rethink church at 10thousanddoors.org. (Note to GoDaddy: Next time you’re in front of Congress with hot chicks, lobby for a .god or .rel—it’s gonna be HUGE.) There’s a real long spot out to promote the idea that people feel the need to do something to help others, even if they’re not sure what that is. It’s not a bad idea but they’re not the first. The idea of what church is has been in need of an overhaul for some time. At least how it’s pitched to to the masses. Ouch. (Shameless plug: Getting people to rethink their notions of church was an approach Plaid and I took on a smaller scale for a local CT. church a few years back. They wanted to expand their reach, but didn’t have $20 mill though. The message we came up with was simple: No matter where you are today in your life, literally, spiritually, physically—you are here with us. Which then became a red dot mall map locator motif in various tactics. FF >> and now everyone has red dot fever.) It’s all good though. Shows you don’t need a huge TV budget to get the word out. But man, woulda loved to have a piece of that budget:

“We open tight in Gaza. Pull back to reveal an ark....”

ALL YOUR GODS ARE BELONG TO BUS?

Just in time for the PC holidays comes more fun with busvertising and a Why Believe in God campaign from the American Humanist Association in Washington, D.C. The what? Yes. Humanists. Americans. And they’re associated. Apparently fed up with too many mangers, they want you to relax this holiday season and just be good without all those nasty prompts from God. Enjoy sales, Christmas parties and religion-free public displays. Whatever. Last time I looked, nobody’s forcing anyone to watch the backlit baby Jesus. (Curious though, if we pull the religious figures from all the public displays, what’s left, sheep?)

Go with bus.

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Tags: religious stupidity, Why Believe in God?

More signs of the times.

I’m not trying to chum religious waters with stuff like this, it’s just that if someone is going to go through the trouble of running these near where I live, then it’s my duty to represent the pro-snark movement and post about it. And what’s not to love here. The use of baby too young to speak letting you in on their medical condition? The phone number easier to read than the url? The random small caps madness going on?
(Click to enlarge tug at your heartstrings goodness.)

Jesus junk mail chain letter prayer rug.

Writes itself, don’t it. I swear sometimes, I get the best material on the weekends. Received the usual junk mail pile Saturday, with one that stuck out. Kinda like that loner pup you feel sorry for that keeps to itself in a mall pet store window. It had its share of the usual DM tricks: handwritten underlined font, key words bold, all-caps and RED.

Ok, I’ll bite. (Plus, I’m a sucker for a good pitch with religious themes. Heartstrings will be tugged and I want in.) That, and I’m always on the lookout for blog material, so...rip. Blow. Shake out the contents.

We have gold people.

It’s clear that the non-chalant “JESUS LOVES YOU” on the outside of the #10 was just a front, because inside, Gary Busey is now God’s co-pilot. I got brochures, I got chain letters. I got prayer rugs commanding me. I don’t know where to start. Ok, take the New Testimonial. Also employing the tried and true First name, last name initial only from Maryland says “I got money and stuff...” They’re always from Maryland. The pictures reminding me of something from last week’s America’s Most Wanted. (Front and back below.)











Then there’s the money shot, aka, prayer rug. (Click on first image at top of post to enlarge). Do not mock prayer rug. Ever. Obey your Prayer Rug. It is your friend.

The whole thing is, according to the directions on the other side, (second image next to it), you watch Jesus on the paper prayer rug and his eyes will open. Rub it on your knees, then pass it on to another needy house. But the letter says send it back to the ministry? Confusion factor at an 11 now. If God needs help running a DM campaign, we’re really screwed. It is then I wonder, what would Crispin do? With direct mail like this, that is.

Instead. I opt to cast it below. To Satan’s garbage can. Where I will join them soon enough for using MONEY SHOT, JESUS and CRISPIN in the same post.

Post-abortion E-cards. When flowers just won’t do.

Wow. Well, I knew Hallmark would never touch this, but exhale did. They’re a post-abortion counseling service that put out a series of e-cards to send after an abortion. Now, before any exhale Technorati rangers email me to say I should have more sympathy for women going through this, well, I do. Always have. I can’t imagine the dilemma they face nor the incredible stress most must experience. Still, while a comforting word of support and strength is the right thing to do, it’s undermined by the Stuart Smalley “You did the right thing” line. It’s just wrong on so many levels. Might as well say, “You go girl!” Wouldn’t want anything interferring with that Sex In The City lifestyle. Pro-life or pro-choice, those words shouldn’t be equated with abortion. And it’s a little more than self-serving to put these cards out and announce it like some new product: “NEW! Exhale launches first-ever series of after-abortion e-cards!” Do woman who have abortions tell so many people about it that there’s a need to send a card?...(via Drudge)

Tags: exhale

A woman’s right to driveway pavers.

The oddest outdoor I’ve ever seen. Came across it in Menomonie, Wisconsin. This even beats the AMC Matador I saw painted up in Green Bay Packer colors that was left in a backyard off a lone stretch of I-94 my last time out. This sign was at the front of cement factory off the same interstate. (Click to enlarge.)

I know the abortion issue is a touchy one for many, and I can usually deal with preachy outdoor stuff like this or this, but this was just so, well, fucking odd. Not sure what side you come out on, but I am a firm believer that cement is not cement until it becomes a block, and not just when it’s sand and gravel.

But that’s just me.

Tags: advertising