Geico caveman returns.

New :30 has him spotting – you guessed it – another cavedude in an airport sign from the walkway. Alas, he gives up hope that Geico will ever respect the frightened and amazed caveman. Catch it here on – you guessed it – YouTube.

Tags: advertising, Geico, brands, viral

Larry King, weekend edition.

Maybe it’s me, but I’m still having trouble installing Web 2.0...... Don’t know what the ad biz is complaining about with racial diversity, there’s lots of different people all over the world...... Could be a hunch, but I think they’ll have beer ads during halftime of this year’s Big Game..... Print it: Crispin is the new Fallon...... Is it me or does George Parker curse a lot?...... Odd man out, but I like those new Jettas that come with cameras to capture all those crashes...... Take it to the bank: Jerry Dellafamina is the adman’s adman...... The new Domino’s brownie spots remind me of a night in the Haight...... Am I the only one who thought Snakes on a Plane was LOL funny?...... Still not sure how they get all those words in blogs...... No matter what people say, Diet Pepsi machine is not an easy interview...... GOOD NIGHT, BOISE!

The Crispin effect: trickle-down, or copycat?

In advertising and branding these days, the trend seems to be to personify brand icons. That’s not to say it isn’t good territory to cover. Sometimes looking closely at the label can yield good stuff to work with.

This new Quaker campaign though makes me feel the same way I did about Crispin’s King work: little creeped out. If you haven’t seen the Quaker Oats TV either, it’s just like the print: basically, Quaker guy holding a tray of breakfast out for kids.

And it comes off as a little creepy because that’s the feeling I took from Crispin’s adult-oriented work aimed at grownups, not kids, especially given the edge the rest of the BK work has. The technique works in that context for BK, not so much for Quaker, just because I’m automatically reminded of the King in bed next to a guy or the King & Brook.


Tags: advertising, Quaker Oats, branding, Burger King

Very cool shot.

Image of the space shuttle and the International Space Station against the big-ass sun. Click to get full image. (Via Drudge)

Tags: space shuttle, NASA

Blogger bug.

Every so often, Blogger wakes up and does stuff that reminds me that having a ‘free’ blog with them comes with certain tradeoffs. Like this week when it starts acting all hinky. That’s right. I said hinky bitches. So if anyone is experiencing comment issues, director’s cuts or posts lasting longer than four hours, please do not adjust your sets.

Weekly What The...?

• BEST VIDEO ON THE NET – After reading the description and then watching this clip, they just may be right. (Buzz Patrol)
• Paris Hilton Promotes Beer At Oktoberfest – Driving the beer truck around Oktoberfest in a dirndl and not hitting anything? Now that’s hot. (CNN)
• Rogue Squirrels Attacking People in California – I was wrong about the Arnold Hummer line. (Drudge)
• USB-powered missle launcher – Hey, who said it had to be current, just had to make you go What The...? (weirdassshit.com)
• Guard dog attacks Elvis’ teddy bear – Thing was probably stuffed with the King’s private stash of peanut butter. (Exploding cigar)

Tags: advertising, brands, Paris Hilton

Blah, blah, blah. Talk America, talk.

More like, shut up, sit there and I’ll tell you what you need to think. (And in case you expected a rant about Sheraton TV spots using Pat Benatar songs, sorry, tomorrow. Ok?)

Nearly 13 years later and that Time cover has now turned out to be a pretty accurate depiction of the venom we hear spewed over the airwaves today. Hosts shouting down guests and preaching to the choir audience. Is this is where we net out after expanding to 8,000+ cable and 3,000+ satellite radio channels?

Even with all the choices we now have, I still haven’t found one show or host able to speak to both sides of an issue objectively without constantly making smartass remarks or bashing the other person – and that person’s POV.

Devil’s advocate says bland is boring and that I may be out of touch with what the public wants. Maybe. But screaming down the guest or the caller just because you don’t agree with them? Not even trying to find the smallest bit of common ground?

Short of the flying Klan chairs, talk radio has morphed into Geraldo. Fox News, Air America, the line-up of WABC Radio, Bill Maher, Daily Show, Howard Stern, Huffington Post, etc. They’re all the same. Apocalyptical statements from the right or smug remarks from the left – with nothing in the middle.

Because in the minds of both sides, you’re either with us, or against us.

Sorry to break the news to them, but it’s all entertainment. They may hate that word since they want to be taken so seriously, but at the end of the day, their opinions don’t mean any more than mine do. You wanna know more about an issue? Try Google or Ask.com instead.

At least Sir Charles had the honesty to admit he wasn’t a role model. Yet show me a host who doesn’t feel that theirs and theirs alone is the sole voice of reason amid the chaos. Yeah, ok. What-evuh.

As for politics, their favorite topic, it’s like sports. Aren’t hosts really just fans rooting for their favorite team? Thing is, they no more have control over listeners’ voting habits than I have the ability to get the security guard to pass a play I wrote on a napkin down to Coach Coughlin. I can see his reaction now: “Hey, holy shit, a screen pass to Tiki. Why didn’t I think of that?”

Look, if you need a talk show to shape how you think or be the voice of authority in your life that informs your opinions, you’re in sad shape. Drive your rascal over to the radio, turn it off and get out of the house now.

As for hosts who know so much, turn off the mic and run for office.

But first America, I want to know what you think about these idiots who would undermine the President and stop plans for a wall on the Mexican border to keep out the illegals trying to steal American jobs by infiltrating Wal-Mart, a company that’s ruined communities full of artists hiding out from an unjust war painting bad things supported by government funding, but who in the past voted to support the outsourcing of the spotted owl and who have now flip-flopped on the issue of a woman’s right to choose her baby’s daddy.

Tags: advertising, WABC, Daily Show, Bill Maher, Howard Stern, Fox News, Air America

Celebrity endorsement overload.

Used to be actors and celebrities hated doing commercials for fear of the negative hit their TV or film careers might take. Ironic though they could find a way to go overseas and do them. (Check out Japander.com.) However, can’t remember when actors and celebs were in American commericals to this degree.

Threw together a very quick list off the top of my head. (Left off athletes or pop stars just because it seems like they’ve always been used to endorse stuff.)

Richard Dreyfuss: Honda • Jeffrey Tambor: Progressive Insurance • Burt Reynolds: FedEx SB spot • Burt Reynolds*, Eddie Griffin: Miller Lite Man Laws • Catherine Zeta-Jones: T-Mobile • Robert Vaughn*: Any slip and fall lawyer spot during daytime TV • Anna Nicole Smith: TrimSpa • Jay Mohr: Diet Pepsi • Dabney Coleman: Rent-a-center • Chuck Norris: info-ab-cruncha-lizer thing • Jessica Simpson: Pizza Hut • Robert Dinero/Kate Winslet/M. Night Shamalan: American Express • William Shatner*: Priceline

Feel free to add on – or pile on.

*Not sure if there’s some weird Murphy’s Axiomatic Ad-Law Principle where the older a star gets, the less films they do, which results in them having to do more than one commerical. If there is, then these peeps are guilty as charged.

UPDATE: As of today: Catherine Zeta-Jones: T-Mobile

Tags: Jessica Simpson, Anna Nicole Smith, William Shatner, Jay Mohr, Burt Reynolds (Image courtesy of Japander.com)

Consumer generated mediocrity.

Steve at Adrants announced the latest CGM bandwagon jumper is now Doritos. He summed it up perfectly by asking who needs agencies, but I feel a need to go off even more:

CGM is just too easy a way out for brands these days. The latest gotta-have/me-too ad strategy. As this advertising mediocritization continues, (or unless one of the contestants figures out how to make Burt Reynolds funny), I say like bell-bottoms and disco before, it’s time to thin the CGM herd.

There’s a reason I’m not a mechanic for a living and my neighbor isn’t in advertising. I can’t figure out my Camry’s fuel injection and he can’t write copy. Sorry, but CG-whatevuh lowers the bar. Oh I’m sure agencies are just glad to have people off the street submit ideas that look like they were shot off a trooper’s dashboard cam.

It’s like open tryouts in the NFL.

Sure, one dude who played a little ball in high school slips under the radar and gets a shot with the Eagles. Rare exception. You’d have more luck getting Stephen Hawking to pitch a no-hitter against the Yankees in the playoffs than to get consistently good ideas this way. (You laugh, but if the dude can find a black hole 4 gajillion miles away in the dark, finding low and away against Jeter ain’t so hard.)

So what will some of these ideas be? Lemmee guess. If it doesn’t approach the homemade video feel of the stuff Vonnage ran with the guy on the trampoline and The 5.6.7.8.’s playing, how about a spot with dogs humping each other while their owners drink beer in the background? Awesome! Send it in. Maybe even YouTube it.

Oh wait! Car + plywood + lighter fluid + pool = x-games home edition. Sweet!

WHOA!!!! Roof + Patio umbrella minus (gas grill) x 400 cans of shook Bud cans opening all at once = rad, man. Get the camera. Who jumps first? Uh-oh. Don’t they already have these spots done though? Oh yeah. It’s called Jackass. (Only thing is, maybe the neck braces in these can have a Doritos logo on them?)

NOTE TO BRANDS: Want consumer-like ideas that you’re not getting from your agency causing you to run promotions like this? (Which is what I suspect may be the reasoning behind this CGM trend.) Well, maybe it’s not their fault.

Take the handcuffs off and let them come up with far-out shit. You’ll get creative 1,000 times better than any contest will produce. Blaming your agencies because you’re not getting what you want is your fault. Try letting them work without all the limits you place on them.

You might be surprised.

Tags: advertising, Doritos, brands, viral, Jackass

Kohl’s channels dead Scottish singer.

New Kohl’s campaign for their transformation nation uses the hit from the late Stuart Adamson and Big Country, albeit a cover version. Hey, every band sells out eventually, right? Just can’t rememer a brand using an entire song as the basis for it’s campaign to introduce a new fall line and save the world. After all, in a big country, dreams stay with you – along with that wonderful brown suede jacket.

Next up: Kajagoogoo for Payless shoes.

Tags: advertising, Kohl’s, brands, Big Country, viral

Jackass, the brand.

Saw Jackass Number 2 this weekend. Liked it as much if not more than the first. Whacked stunts that are funny as hell. Others agree: $28 million in one weekend. Which got me thinking how much like a good brand movie franchises such as this are.

It knows exactly what it is, who it’s audience is, how to get that message to them, and most importantly: doesn’t try to be something other than what it is.

With a name like Jackass, name says it all: guys doing insane shit. A product I can identify with. I grew up around brothers who had fights on the 4th of July with Roman candles. Restless kin who tried to see what would win: go-kart, car or wall. Watching Jackass is like one big home movie for me.

It’s not for everyone, but Jackass 2 is the only movie I’ve ever laughed out loud so much at – and cringed. Maybe it was the camaraderie felt in the audience with the other Jackass brand evangelists. The feeling that no matter where I looked, I was sure to find someone with powertools, fuses and the need to challenge gravity in their past – and present.

Keepers of the brand indeed.

A good brand dominates the competition. As for anybody who said they never had such a great time as they did at Snakes? First, I don’t believe them. Second, the opening stunt in J2 with a snake and certain body part will make you forget about any planes.

Call him head Jackass, but Knoxville concentrated on making a solid product for his audience. P.T. Barnum. Vince McMahon. Wal-Mart. Jerry Springer. Apple. They all knew what their audience wanted. And they gave it to ’em. So does Knoxville. Crazy stunts and plenty of ’em.

Didn’t cost a lot to make relative to standard Hollywood films, $11 million, and has already grossed over 2.5 times that. Is there any doubt this brand’s ‘product’ will sell and be profitable? Postive WOM and reviews will continue to help the cause.

Skits such as: Firehose Rodeo. The Toro Totter. Medicine Ball Dodgeball - in the dark. Terrorist Taxi. With titles like these, no good will follow. And J2 delivers. Each member comes on. Says what the stunt is. Then we watch as it’s executed. Like it? Hate it? It works. Doesn’t get any simpler than that for a brand.

Except making sure they can manage to stay alive for number three.

Tags: advertising, Jackass Number 2, brands, viral

I see your stopwatch, and raise you a...

Poker is huge business. Celebrity tournaments on cable. Websites ‘teaching’ you how to play. Feature films like Rounders. Which means you can afford a spread in the front of ESPN the Magazine. I recently gave props to the Mag for its design and layout. But this ad just sticks out like a sore thumb. (click to enlarge)

Wouldn’t it be psyche out your opponents? And the quotes in the body copy should say ‘...read people,’ because what the ad doesn’t mention is that most of your opponents online are actually software programs set up by the ‘predators’ from Party Poker’s other ads to ‘read’ your patterns. (Your online ‘tells’ ya big poker playin stud ya: HEY he’s surfing porn while he’s on with me, he must have a full house.)

So good luck grabbing the monitor and trying the Vulcan Mind Meld with HAL on the other end to read those thoughts. I’m out. This ad’s too rich for my blood.

Tags: advertising, Party Poker, brands, viral

What is your favorite curse word?

Check a great find from monkey man Fish N’ Chimps.

Tags: advertising, brands, viral

Jihad ad. Real Jiha-ha-ha funny, or brand disconnect?

No topic is off-limits for me, just make it funny. But when you come across something like this on Drudge, you understand why advertising gets a bad rap. An Ohio Mitsubishi dealership intends to run a Jihad radio spot in support of an upcoming sales event:

“Sales representatives “will be wearing burqas all weekend long,” the ad says. One of the vehicles on sale “can comfortably seat up to 12 jihadists in the back.”

The production company, Dennis Auto Point, explained the spot this way:

“This is one where we feel we’re taking a bull’s-eye on terrorists. After all the nonsense that the terrorists put the public through, they’re fair game.”

Oh. Why didn’t you just say so then. Forget the Marines. Guess we just needed post to defeat terroism. Getting the terrorists with this spot? Thought you were supposed to be selling cars first. In this case, you’re also doing it by capitalizing on the feelings over an important issue, usually the strategy for everything we do - but this has nothing to do with what you’re selling.

The worst part though? It’s not good. It’s not even, ‘not bad.’ Burqas? So then all your salespeople are women I assume? That’ll be a first for a dealership, no? What’s the matter, didn’t wanna work in the phrase car bomb because that would be going too far? Can’t wait to hear the spot, but if that’s the final script, I already don’t need to hear more. Furthermore,

“everybody in the room thought it was very funny, extremely aggressive.”

Really. Guess Mitsubishi corporate would greenlight this spot no problem, right? Not even if it was done as well as this unofficial VW spot. Bad taste maybe, but at least that was aggressive and creative. And on the other end of the spectrum in the category, you have what I think is a really funny radio spot for dealerships with the Trunk Monkey.

However, if you’re gonna take advantage of a hot-button issue, at least go all the way. Don’t be half-assed. Wanna exploit the Iraq War and make a positive name for yourselves? Offer anyone in the listening area who served in Iraq a free car. Or offer to pay off their current car loan. Think that wouldn’t build loyal customers?

Considering Ohio is a state among those that has suffered the highest casualties in the war, by running this you can forget about creating loyal customers - you just lost angry ones.

This is a perfect example of a brand disconnected from its sales force on the street. The local guys who think they know better than corporate what works and what doesn’t. They don’t want to follow national messaging and instead opt to spend it on something of their own creation. There’s a reason automakers hire ad agencies to prepare creative for dealers - because for the most part, this is what happens when they do it themselves.

Brands are only as strong as their weakest link. In this case, it’s where the rubber meets the road at the dealership. It may be that dealership’s ‘brand’ and it may be their local budget, but it’s also Mitsubishi’s brand they harm too.

Tags: advertising, brands, viral, Mitsubishi

Joe Buck shills for Starbucks. Not.

After Joe Buck’s opening comments from Seattle on Fox Sports NFL Sunday today, you’d expect PR from Starbucks to be on the phone with a show producer. The gist of the comments were, (and I’m paraphrasing without TIVO benefit here), but: “Welcome to Seattle, where you can buy a mocha-latta-caffa-half-twist-blatta-yatta latte for 11 bucks, and people are lined up around the block to drink that crap.”

Ouch. Someone might say, well, they didn’t mention Starbucks directly. C’mon. What other coffee conglomerate owns Seattle? Still, it begs the question: We know paid placement and product mentions on live events on TV shows in general are standard. But do announcers on the other hand also have a responsibility to recognize that negative things they may say about a brand not paid to be on may hurt that brand?

(Not to mention, the no-brainer potential play on the last name of both announcer and brand that hee-haw Bradshaw and JJ coulda had fun with to give Starbucks a nice little segment - for free. People expect that schtick from those guys, so poking fun at the brand would be expected from them.)

Instead, two goals achieved: brand indirectly insulted and opportunity missed.

Regardless of what you think about Starbucks, (this really could be any brand Buck mentioned), or what you think about him, but:

Did Buck go too far with the reference on live TV?

Tags: advertising, Caribou Coffee, brands, Starbucks, Fox Sports, Joe Buck

Weekly What The...?

• Schwarzenegger gives up hummers – Not many better headlines on Drudge than this one.
• First Bionic Arm fitted to a female patient – We can rebuild her. Faster. Stronger. (Gizmag)
• Grandma shooting MP40 machine gun – I swear I love this country. (Buzz Patrol)
• Kicks of the week – Holy Elton John Batman. (aNYthing)
• This is a magazine – Cool vector schtuff. (Thanks jo.)

Tags: advertising, brands, viral

Targeted advertising using GPS - next big thing, or next Big Brother?

I can hear the ACLU’s saber starting to rattle. In keeping with the Art Bell theme, interesting read from Mail & Guardian. Basically, it’s GPS used to track people. Not a new concept as double decker buses use it to change ads in NYC depending on the neighborhood.

Upside? Brands using GPS for individuals though might be a way for them to stop wasting ads on people who don’t want what’s being offered in the wider net of traditional broadcast. Getting closer to a car dealer? GPS sends out a message for today’s deals, or a prompt to tune to a local am radio station for those deals.

Targeted online promotions might also benefit brands if it was limited to specific counties too. Especially using a certain area code to announce discounts at local attractions or malls. Starbucks could then avoid national nightmares and only target one area, and not run out of coffee.

Downside? Who wants their every movement tracked? Imagine a live Google map showing your location when you should be at work, but the better half sees you’re out having a few. Big brother indeed. Groups I see digging this are the Feds, wives of guys on Jerry Springer’s show and bosses.

What about information overload? Imagine 50 offers for stuff within a 2-mile drive. I’d have to register with the National Brand Do Not Call list. Pretty soon we’ll need ad-free zones around neighborhoods if this keeps up.

Damn. Gotta run. Pepsi’s on the phone.

Tags: advertising, brands, viral

All in the family – or not?

After dropping off the next generation of logo makers at school, it dawned on me she’s only the second person on both sides of the entire clan who chose to go into advertising and/or marketing. So logo-ites, are you the one and only in your family, or one of many who’ve pursued a career in the biz?

Tags: advertising, brands

“And God said let there be logos.”

No really. He did. Thanks to Fred for the tip.

Tags: advertising, Moses, Charleton Heston

Indiana. 3:00 am. Art Bell.

I-80 eastbound. Clear skies. Empty road. And that can mean only one thing: time for Art Bell. I love conspiracy shit. Always have. Lone Gunmen. Bigfoot. X-Files. Loch Ness. Millenium. Scott Norwood and wide right. All of it.

But Art takes it to a new level. It’s Springer without the toothless threesomes, and broadcast from The Philippines. Tonight’s show featured Dr. Stephen Greer and his disclosureproject.org claiming he has classified evidence about former astronauts Neil Armstrong, Gordon Cooper and others who all claim there are aliens on the moon. Go here or here for other transcripts of what they claim to have seen.

Dr Greer also believes we need to be ambassadors for the aliens that visit us. No way. I saw Independence Day. That little welcoming party on the roof, the one with the signs and a DJ? Turned out great. And if they try to pull a Mars Attacks!? Not happening. I’ll go old-school and ack-ack their ass back into the stone age with my Slim Whitman CD, (remastered edition).

But I digress.

It’s not Art that makes the show – it’s Art’s callers. My lucky night. An out-of-body experience. A caller visiting planet Earth for the second time around. A guy who’s best friend on the police force ‘disappeared’ after announcing he invented a car that runs on water. Garage and car completely cleaned out by the next morning. No trace of inventor or invention. Dr. Greer confirmed this is the work of Fossil Fuel Freaks out to make sure we never wean ourselves off of raptor bones.

This stuff writes itself.

Oh, and the woman who doesn’t own a computer asking for the Doc’s phone number. Irony rears its ugly head as he responds he doesn’t have one. But she can visit the website if she wants. These two should hook up.

Another guest features a story about the Knights of the Temple, aka The Knights Templars yes, the group like the one in The Da Vinci Code who hold secret initiations involving a dead goat. Who needs caffeine when you have this stuff people. Bought me another four hours as I scanned the skies for pulsating lights.

Tags: advertising, Art Bell, brands, Lone Gunmen, X-Files, Millenium

In the future, everyone will do their own ads for 15 minutes.

Then decide it’s not so ‘awesome’ after all. American Copywriter has a really interesting take on the latest CG (insert latest buzzword here) contest from Chevy. Check it out, especially advertising students.

Which leads me to this: at some point, wouldn’t it be better if video cameras were just handed out to everybody in America so they could get it out of their system? Blow out YouTube’s servers while they’re at it and upload everything at once. Remember America, it’s all fun and games until the account team comes back from the presentation and says “Client hated it.”

Consumer-generated indeed.

Tags: advertising, Chevy, brands, viral

2,200 miles. No tickets.

Just got back into NJ after 18 straight hours on the road. Grabbed four hours and I feel spring-like and refreshed. Almost. Got a few things coming later to blog on, like Ohio by night. ’nuff said.

What parent would you give two aspirin to?

Does Ford just not get it? New Volvo TV out for the “Who Would You Give A Volvo To?” campaign has parents in trying circumstances. Accurate, but the original campaign is about real heros. Big disconnect between the two. Just like “Bold Moves” where humerous consumer-focused TV was paired with serious corporate web.

These spots feature everyday scenarios that while excellent at showing true family experiences, certainly don’t qualify for hero status. I didn’t get an award for surviving teaching my daughter how to drive.

Here’s a trying scenario I want to see: parents paying for college.

Tags: advertising, brands, Volvo, Bold Moves, Ford

Why doesn’t Apple’s movie quest seem to make sense?

So iGod and Apple will now release movies for download.
Just a sec there son:

1) Quality. 640 x 480, according to Apple specs, near DVD quality. Not good enough for me. Hi-def is literally twice that res? If you’re used to that, why would you go back? That’s like me digging out my old Syquest drive.

2) Size. That 640 x 480 means you ain’t viewing it any bigger without res problems.

3) Price. In effect, you’re offering me the same title I can get at Hollywood Video or Blockbuster for a slightly less purchase price depending on the title, (or more). $9.99 - $14.99. Without any of the DVD extras.

4) Selection. You won’t have access to all the titles you want. That’s an understatement. If I can’t download Pluto Nash, what’s the point, ya know?

Way I see it, you’ve basically taken the cost of a Hollywood DVD rental, or Netflix, tripled the fees, (or added a third to the cost of a box office ticket), and reduced screen size to a 13” monitor, or down to 2.5” (320 x 240 screen res for a video iPod).

The only plus is that I get to keep the downloaded movie. Is that a big plus though? I’d be better off searching Amazon.com for a used title at maybe $4 plus $3 shipping. Wouldn’t be current titles necessarily but it absolutely would eclipse the number of titles Apple has now.

If they’re eventually planning to gain control of our TV’s in 2007 like they say, why not just wait? (And good luck going up against the cable tv industry Steve.) This move though for now doesn’t seem like a very solid gateway move to help accomplish that goal.

Maybe they’re just trying to be first into the space, regardless of how well they can carry it off. While being first does count for a lot, remember Beta got to the tape space a year before VHS did.

And now they’re both dead.


Tags: advertising, Steve Jobs, brands, iTunes, Macintosh, Apple Computer

Mac file transfer tip.

It’s late. Your external hard drive is maxed. You aren’t about to burn 6,000 CDs worth of data either. Half a pack of butts left. It’s dark. And you’re wearing shades. What to do:

Connect a Firewire cable between two Macs. Restart the one that has the stuff you need to copy while holding down its “T” key. Then after the funky yellow Firewire symbol appears, let go of the T. You should then see that drive’s icon show up on the destination hard drive. Then, copy away bitches. 35 gigs took around 15 minutes from my old 700 mhz iMacasaurus to a new Macbook, and I was good to go. (You can also see a more detailed breakdown here.)

Tags: advertising, Mac

Effective integration?

Two interesting campaigns out now. I love the tactic of using different media to drive consumers elsewhere, moving beyond just slapping a url on something. Gimmee a little mystery like these two.

The outdoor on the left takes you to onlytheyknow, a site for ABC’s The Nine. The print ad on the right takes you to State Farm’s site, nowwhat. Both use different tactics, but for me, I get a better connection with the State Farm campaign. I see the accident in the print ad and get the connection instantly when I go to the website. State Farm logo. Insurance. Done. Not to mention the use of similar visuals in TV, print and the website.

The outdoor for the Nine though doesn’t incorporate the final image of the people we see on the site and I feel like I have to work a little harder to get the connection.

Tags: advertising, The Nine, brands, viral, ABC, State Farm

Some schtuff to check out.

TV on the Radio. Some nice sonicnicity there........The blog by Jetpacks called Where’s My Jetpack? Just because I love the name ‘Jetpacks’ and attitude of the writing over there, that’s why........And on his blog is a shout out to London-based photographer Ross Halfin, a rock photographer who seems like he’s shot every band out there. Click on the ‘gallery’ link to view all the band shots and honest comments about each. Pearl Jam and Edward Vedder indeed.

Tags: advertising, brands, TV on the Radio

Lower my creative rating.

Curious George on a film set and dancing pregnant women on rooftops. ?????????? Apparently you also get a lower monthly rate when you film with monkeys, who knew. If they have to run this stuff, I’d prefer an all-type ad at this point. (Click to enlarge these gems.)

Tags: advertising, brands

Snakes box office.

Took in less than $900,000 this past weekend. Five-week release puts it at $33 million, matching production costs. At this rate, the DVD can be released in time for Halloween. Start buying rubber snakes for the release parties.

Tags: advertising, Snakes on a Plane, brands, Sam Jackson

“Tell us your story at...”

“Dude, remember the time you made a bong out of yer mom’s Secret deodorant? Hey man, you ever find the dog?”

Story: “1. a narrative, either true or fictitious, in prose or verse, designed to interest, amuse, or instruct the hearer or reader; tale.”

First brands had to have a website. Then a blog. Followed by the turning over of Quicktime movies so consumers can make ads for them.

Now comes the request for stories. They’re not the only ones of course, but brands like Volvo and Secret deodorant are the latest to ask for our experiences, like this one:

“My secret is I use Secret Deodorant, and I am a guy.”

If it was supposed to be a secret, would you also leave your name like Cory did? (And if this is Wild Pack of Family Dogs’s Cory, I love how honest you were then bro, really.) But since it probably isn’t, I think people will laugh at this – and indirectly, the brand. Because it runs counter to their dramatic mission statement:

“Look into the souls of strong women, whose candid secrets reflect their character - flaws, frailties, intelligence, nerve and wit. Are you strong enough to share your secret?”

Um, Cory was – and he’s a guy. So much for character and women. Anyone else chuckling at this revelation?

Look, it’s an admirable attempt to open up a dialog between your customers, granted, but is this just a new spin on the old “Dear Penthouse, I never thought this would happen to me...”? In a consumer-generated focus group kinda way, sure seems like it.

Important word in any of this: story. Something that is amusing, entertaining or compelling. Which means I don’t feel like sorting through 50 posts all the same on how Secret ‘really works,’ or ‘how mom passed down her love of Secret roll-on to me.’

Compelling, or thinly-veiled brand selling points?

Tell me you used Secret to put under the tire of the car you lifted with one hand to rescue the dog that was trapped underneath – then I’m reading.

And that’s where another potential problem lies – in the lie. Works for fiction, not for testimonials. Even if it’s boring, I still need to believe that what you’re saying is true, especially if I’m going to ever connect with your brand. So the challenge for the brand becomes how do they get compelling stories that also ring true?

The Devil’s Advocate POV might say this is just another flavor of the month tactic for them to try without taking advantage of any consumer insights they come across. How many brands demonstrate a huge disconnect between what they think consumers want and want consumers really want? Why would this situation be any different?

I’m not saying every story needs to involve a bong, the family pet and your best friend. Boring can still be compelling. Do the stories if you want, just make sure they connect with the brand in a way that rings true.

Tags: advertising, Secret, brands, Volvo

Bag o’ wires let me down. Again.

No A-B USB cable when I needed one. So $23 freakin’ dollars later at Office Depot, I’m good to go. And I say to you bag, sit there in shame.

Shame I say.

Tags: advertising, Office Depot, brands

Albino squirrel.

No, it wasn’t kids playing with bleach. Apparently, these little Edgar Winter specials are rare. (Not if you cook them right.) It was still there when I came back with the camera. Not sure if this is an omen or not. With the bag o’ wires letting me down today, it just may be.

Tags: advertising, albino squirrel

Five years.

NYC residents relive it every time they see ground zero.

First responders suffer now because they helped then.

People who jumped from 100 floors, those who flew straight into a field and those who flew into buildings still have no national memorial.

Why?

Tags: 9/11, 9/11 memorial

Advice for young creatives.

Mack over at Adverb has a great take on what young guns should keep in mind that goes beyond what’s inside the book, and I weighed in as well. Bottom line, don’t be an asshole on the way up. Worth the read, no matter what level you’re at.

Tags: advertising, brands

Coors Light vs. Bud Light.

Still like the Bud Light series over the new Coors Light campaign. If you haven’t seen the Coors spots on the left, they feature a series of NFL coaches and their actual press conferences ‘responding’ to questions asked by fans in the audience that set up that response by the coach. Wasn’t this stuff done 20 years ago during Advertising 1.0?

While older, gimmee the Bud spot where the fan pretends to be a part of the team during the post-game celebration instead. Looks just as real and is twice as original.

Tags: advertising, Bud Light, NFL, Coors Light

Nissan does pharma.

A pharma ad I actually like - by Nissan of all brands. Nice little satire of the typical pharma format. Say goodbye to autoclaustrophobia with the 2007 Versa. Remember: car ads lasting longer than four hours are rare and may need the assistance of a brand manager with a sense of humor.

Tags: advertising, Nissan Versa, brands, viral

Cool! CNN’s real time 9/11 coverage.

Is it sweeps already? Thanks, but no thanks.

Tags: advertising, brands

FORD’s new CEO gets $18.5 million to take job.

Bold Moves indeed. (Via Drudge.)

Tags: advertising, Ford, brands, corporate greed

“My name is, and I approve this ad.”

Primary time is here and that means one thing: that damn disclaimer. Instead, why not have brands require their marketing directors to come on and say the same thing at the end of the ads they approve.

Tags: advertising, brands, viral

Makeshift worksite.

When ya gotta work, ya gotta work, no matter where.

Tags: advertising, brands

Remembering Web 1.0

And continuing with Jimmy Kimmel, sure was nice when network websites like ABC didn’t have to carry bad credit banner ads or online education sites to pay for bandwidth. Thought NBC would be content with placing their fall lineup on YouTube for free, but nope. Maybe they can cross-promote:

Bad lineup? No problem. We’ll approve any show as long as you have a job. Or even if you don’t.

Tags: advertising, brands, viral

New band.

Saw them on Jimmy Kimmel Live. Robert Randolph and the Family Band. Soul rock? Not sure, but not bad. Cross between Jimi Hendrix, Lenny Kravitz and Jeff Healy. Kimmel has the song on his site.

Tags: advertising, Robert Randolph, Jimmy Kimmel

Great choice for a banner quiz.

How about D, a disgraced pop star who trolls myspace for 12-year olds?

Tags: advertising, brands, viral

Ode to a four-legged friend.

There are the things you miss you think would matter most in life in setting up a new apartment.

Such as an internet connection. Perhaps cable TV. What about reliable cellphone service? An Aerobed to sleep on even.

Maybe a Starbucks nearby, (drive-up or not, it doesn’t matter).

Don’t forget the shower curtain.

All important things to be sure. But one thing beats them every single time, especially if you don’t have one:

The simplicity of a chair.

Not a Lazy Boy. Not an Ikea balsa special. Just a folding chair.

That’s all I ask.

You comfort me when milkcrates mock me.

You give me strength – and height. The height I need to reach the ceiling to install a hook.

But without you, I am nothing.

Sitting cross-legged Indian-style was cool in 3rd grade. Less so when you had your first aparment/dorm.

But now?

It sucketh.

Why? Try arranging for that cellphone service, an internet connection or cable TV without a place to sit when customer service puts your wait at longer than 10 minutes – then disconnects you at minute seven.

Try hanging a plant. Try finding somewhere to set your coffee besides the floor it just got knocked over on.

So I come not to bury you, but to buy you. $8 at Target. ($17 for full vinyl covering.) All pay heed.

In closing, allow me to say, if the CIA is having trouble getting information from detainees in Cuba? Forget playing them Huey Lewis 24/7.

Take away their chairs.

Tags: advertising, brands, Target

Cable TV monopolies. Bad things man. Bad things.

You become aware of this right away as you try and get cable TV service and all there is one provider in your area. Time-Warner in this case in the outskirts of Minneapolis. And that sucks. I also know the pain of NYC/CT peeps because there it was and still is the dreaded Cablevision.

But never more than one choice in a market. Isn’t that like only having one supermarket chain get to sell groceries to an entire county without competition? High prices ($44 a month for a high-speed internet). Slow service (one week minimum for a tech to come out) and unmotivated sales and support (three separate operators could not quote the same price, and with two of them forgetting about an advertised special on the TW website).

Not to mention the $30 installation fee I had to pay even though I went down to cable, got the box and installed it that night myself. Not saying that’s the norm, but sure seems likely when your customers have no other choice but to go with you.

Tags: advertising, brands, Time-Warner

A sellout Saints season?

Long roadtrips cause alliteral titles. Overheard on ESPN tonight: the Saints are 3,ooo seats shy of a season ticket sellout, first time in team history. Consider, with so much working against the Saints brand – from stadium reconstruction, to being unsure of where your home will be, to an owner who hinted at moving the team – you have to be impressed with fans willing to suffer all that and remain loyal.

Tags: advertising, New Orleans Saints, brands, ESPN

Gone in 60 Snakes.

Guess Snakes really don’t have legs.

Tags: advertising, Snakes on a Plane, brands, viral

Esteban is real.

So-kay, sitting there trying to get my damn wireless router set up to work with the Mac and PC. Flipping through the channels, tired of the CNN segments with experts on barbs at the San Diego Zoo talk about stingrays, and I come across a Geico infomerical.

Oh yeah. Esteban is there hawking his Master Class Cutaway Guitar Package^® at 1:00 am, and I’m thinking, brilliant. Geico actually took the character from an older TV spot and expanded it.

Only, Esteban is real.

Am I the only one who knew? Where was I when that email went out. I thought The Martin Agency was brilliant in developing this ficticious character some time ago when I first saw him sitting there throwing out Esteban Wisdom^™. Then they came out with the new celebrity spots and took the campaign in yet another direction. (Looking at both, I think I’d like to also see the current spots done up the way Esteban’s was.)

Anyway, hurry up and order to get the DVDs and awesome guitar! There are only 267 left: masterclassguitar.com

Tags: advertising, Esteban, brands, viral

More lessons from the road.

Ohio has more state troopers than PA has billboards. Indiana = amber waves of grain. Chicago has a shitload of traffic no matter when I go. The only thing Wisconsin does better than cheese and fireworks apparently is waterparks. Indoor waterparks. And so far, Minneapolis has better radio stations than NYC.

Check out a photo collection of the fun so far. (Click each image for descriptions.)

Oh, and one more lesson. If you’re running your internet through a wireless router, make sure you turn password protection on, otherwise somebody from NJ might just be borrowing some bandwidth to post this.

UPDATE: Added the photos to a new place and made a slideshow. Check ’em out here.

Tags: advertising, brands, Americana

Bag o’ wires is now in the Twin Cities.

This shot was from earlier somewhere in Wisconsin, but the Eagle has landed late this afternoon. (More pics to come including some of the cleanest fireworks stores you will ever see.)


Tags: advertising, bag of wires, brands

Westbound and down.

Jesus. I just used a Smokey and the Bandit reference. Taking the next generation of small logo makers to college. I’m talking Twin Cities. 1,100 miles of driving fun starting in oh, six hours. More blogging fun by Monday, maybe. Until then, my 20 will be somewhere near Toledo by tomorrow afternoon.

Maybe.

Tags: advertising, brands, viral, Smokey and the Bandit

Someone lick the screen...

...and tell me which one tastes better. Mmmmm. That new media sure is tasty! I predict virtual taste tests are going to be HUGE.




Tags: advertising, Pepsi, Coke, brands, viral

Snakes on a Plane review.

SSSSSSSSSSS is for...

Surprised. At how much I really wanted to like Snakes on a Plane ahead of time compared to what I saw. S is for sue. As in, suing bloggers who hyped this as a ‘campy, fun’ movie and pitched it as a Sam Jackson F-bomb fest. S is for you’re about to read more F-bombs than a typical George Parker post.

And S is for spoiler alert:

IF YOU DO NOT WANT TO KNOW ABOUT SNAKES ON A PLANE, STOP READING NOW.

Ok. Let’s get this right out in the open: motherfucker, motherfucker, motherfucker, motherfucker!

There, all the snake fans who wanted it their way having the producers film new scenes with that little Sam Jackson mantra, you just got your wish: that was twice as many F-bombs as you’ll hear in the entire movie. Feeling ripped-off by Hype-palooza 2.0 yet?

Yeah. me too.

I can’t comment on the movie without also commenting on the surrounding promotional buildup, so this post covers both things and it runs motherfucking long.

Seeing the movie confirmed what I suspected but was reserving judgement on: while I absolutely loved the blog effort started by Brian, the feeling I got ahead of time from this movie was that it was going to be a comical snake tour-de-farce on the order of Airplane or Scary Movie. Then I saw the trailer.

BIG disconnect.

Because based on the trailer I saw months ago, I expected a tight, well-done thriller – ultimately it wasn’t even that. I watched it already aware of the blog effort and thought, ok, they’re selling this wrong. It looks like it’s gonna be a well-done thriller but, funny blog + trailer of scary thriller = confusing movie with lack of identity.

It’s one thing for the Web 2.0 crowd to sing the praises of brands who ‘embrace new media.’ After all, it’s in their best interest to want this experiment to work. Because if it doesn’t though, well, there goes that theory and they’ll need to blog about other stuff.

Truth be told? Even I want it to work. Brands should be engaging audiences in all channels using things like blogs when possible – but not at the expense of the product the consumer is sold on and expects it to be.

Because if you sell me on camp, don’t then turn around and motherfucking give me over-the-top crude violence and a weak motherfucking thriller and tell me it’s motherfucking ‘fun.’ Because then I can’t help but feel like it’s something else: a motherfucking lie.

And in that case, people will stay away in droves once bad WOM runs its course, (to mis-paraquote Yogi). Still, I actually wanted a Sam Jackson F-bomb fest.

That’s not what I got though, and that’s why I’m disappointed. Not because the movie wasn’t great, never said it would be. It didn’t live up to the ‘fun’ hype ahead of time for me.

I buy Nike because it’s Nike. I know what I’m getting, and it’s not a Wal-Mart imitation. Likewise, when I go to see a Tarantino flick, I know what I’m getting, (or at least expecting to get). Clever dialog. Blood. Cool-as-hell fight scenes.

And I was amped to see this movie when I first heard the words ‘Sam Jackson’ and ‘Snakes’ in the same sentence. Same as the original screenwriter who first heard about the project and then blogged about what a great title the movie was, followed by Brian who picked up on it and the rest is soon-to-be history.

I was also sold on that pic of Sam yelling into a mic, figuring this dude is gonna be some loose-cannon cop living on the Martin Riggs edge, swearing every two seconds left and right. Nope. Jules was calm, cool and collected the whole time. Jules, go in there and chill them snakes out. (And he did.)

That payoff line would’ve sure been set up a lot better if he had been a loose cannon all along instead of it being the out-of-the-blue line it was.

And the fateful line.

More than 3/4 of the way through the movie. I was waiting for the stupid motherfucking line so long, that when it motherfucking happened, I was motherfucking dissappointed. Motherfucker. It was just out of place. Congrats Mr. and Mrs. Iowa citizen filmmaker: you just got your :15 secs by having “motherfucker” added in.

Want more F-bombs in your movies? Leave the director alone and rent motherfucking Pulp Fiction next motherfucking time.

But what I can’t buy is the arguement that the hype in this case was what consumers were buying, not the movie. So now we’re supposed to forget about what we’re buying and revel in the sales process? Gotta try that next time I buy a car.

To Mack at Adverb’s point: you can bet there are a whole lot of movie studio marketing directors looking at this case study wondering if they should launch a blog for their next flick, or stick with the tried-and-true promotional machine based on the results of SoaP.

No matter which way they go, we sit here and blog while people still may get fired over that stuff when it turns out bad - or, promoted to go on and embrace the next big promotional hype touted.

Will this movie make money? Probably. Leave it out long enough and it should. But it’ll need a month at this rate to match an approx. 35 mill budget and that’s with any kind of good WOM. If this flick is so good and you’re really going to jump on the camp wagon, really jump then. Forget newspaper quotes like

“BEST MOVIE OF THE YEAR!”
.................Omaha Tribal Observer

“SAY YESSSS TO SSSSSNAKESSSSS!”
.................Saskatchewan Times

“SAM JACKSON IS UNSNAKABLE!”
.................Nuns For Peace Quarterly

Have :30 TV spots with testimonials from rubber snake-wearing audiences shouting “See this movie!!!” Geez, I mean New Line should enough money left over from the ad budget. After all, they saved a ton by letting citizen marketers do the work for them didn’t they?

(Here’s another freebie: ‘user-generated’ :30 TV snake spots highlighting Brian’s blog done up in the style of Carson Daly’s girlfriend’s self-absorbed video show. Talk about the internet tail wagging the dog.)

Do that, and the DVD release with Rubber Snake Parties^® should be gravy for them after breaking even. But those same marketing peeps are seeing Red Eye do 16 mill opening weekend last year at this time and then go on to a 90+ mill worldwide gross – all without a blog and wondering, why should I do things differently?

What about Flightplan? More high-concept but I’d still throw it into the B-movie genre and definitely include it in the airplane thriller category. Closer to 250 mill gross on a 24 mill opener - without a blog. Even though that had Jodie Foster, this has motherfucking Sam Jackson! He’s not any good for more than that in the airplane thriller genre?

I also understand SoaP is supposed to be a B-movie, and that the bar for expectations should be lowered. Which expectations would those be though? The box office ones? New Line wasn’t expecting a hit? Name me a studio that doesn’t? After seeing the interest by fans I’m thinking they were. Enough to throw more dollars towards a reshoot for promotional purposes.

15 mill inflated and 6 mill this week are not too shabby for a movie, but movies aren’t released in a vacuum. They’re compared to others in the same genre, rightly or wrongly. And this one also had some of the traditional marketing support behind it in terms of trailers and print. So 15 mill against RE’s 16 with no stars to boot is looking just average.

So what about about expectations for it being a good movie, even with the B-movie tag? I’m sorry, this ain’t a good movie, that’s the thing. At the end of the day, no matter how many virals or blogs you throw my way, it still needs to be a good movie.

Camp? Fine. Make it well-done camp like Mars Attacks or Independence Day. Even if it was a good thriller I expected from the trailer but maybe it didn’t jive with the whacky snake blog, ok, fine. Just make it a Flightplan thriller then. (Director really can’t claim he didn’t have the same stuff to work with. Solid lead actor and a motherfucking jumbo jet.)

At least the product would’ve been good and I would’ve felt I got my money’s worth. But this goes back to the point about selling me on one thing, but delivering something different.

And I get the genre. I love the genre. I am Mr. B-movie:

The Blob. Towering Inferno. Earthquake (with surround sound vibrating seats!). Poseidon Adventure. Scary Movie(s). Airplane. Sin City. Pulp Fiction. Resevoir Dogs. Desperado. Con Air. Independence Day. Mars Attacks. Dawn of the Dead. The Ring. Starship Troopers. Tremors. From Dusk Til Dawn. Nightmare on Elm Street. Devil’s Rejects. Anything with Jackie Chan, Steven Seagal or Ahhh-nuld.

Some action-adventure, some horror, some comedy, but all are B-movies that, depending on which flick, have varying degrees of humor and violence handled far more deftly than Snakes. And they were B-movies not trying to be something they weren’t.

That’s why I feel you focus on making a kickass product/movie, then add cool hype to it. Wouldn’t your efforts do more for the picture in that case?


But this move felt like it didn’t have that identity and was trying to figure it out. Part over the top violence, part horror, part soft-core porn and part suspense thriller. Sorry, but there were no parts gellin like a felon. Last year’s Flightplan had the suspense part down. Con Air had the humerous wise-ass thing.

Until Sam’s line, where was either? Pulp Fiction was funnier. Just one little wise-cracking sidekick is all I ask. A staple of B-movies the world over. Yet, nothing. Instead, we get Kenan from SNL and “I Believe I Can Fly” feel-good dialog.

As for Hitchcock-like surprise, well, we get two. One is a motherfucking speedy-ass snake jumps out of a motherfucking compartment and two: the stereotypical male flight attendant who pranced around actually had the girlfriend nobody believed he said he had the entire movie.

I felt let down because I was expecting total camp, instead I got gratutious violence and sex that’s not for the teens this movie is skewing towards. I saw 10-year olds in the audience. Others have said how they let their 13-year olds go to this ‘cause it was awesome!’ I ain’t NO prude, believe me. I’ve seen every genre of movie imaginable and absolutely love all film, but this ain’t for kids. It got the R for a reason.

Should a 10-year old be watching the Mile High Club admit new members? They cut away from a guy getting his head bashed with a baseball bat, (and I can’t believe I’m about to write this next part), but then let’s watch a housecoat-wearin’ grandma get aroused by a snake and then have her eye eaten by it. Awesome!

Or a guy get bit right where it counts just as he finishes up in the restroom. I can hear Bart Simpson on the intercom now: “Paging Mr. Dick Hurts.”

Yeah, that works for me.

Anyone want to guess that the parents brought them because they heard about rubber snakes and a blog? Parents, when your kids wanna see it, see it first, and tell me, honestly, you could let them.

But hey, maybe I’m the lone voice here. Wouldn’t be the first time. (What’s the saying again, blogs are like assholes, right?)

So I took my daughter who turns 18 next month to see it. She knows more than me or any other other Web 2.0 evangelist out there about multi-tasking, myspace, IM, all of it. Wanted to see what she thought. She’s also a horror movie fan and has seen the previously mentioned Ring and every bad/cheesy nasty-ass R-rated teen flick out there. Her response?

“Why did you take me to see that? It was disgusting. Worst movie of the year.”

Oh, and because WOM is so critical to Web 2.0, that’s exactly the same thing she IM’d two friends and a cousin on her cell immediately after it was over.

Good luck to New Line. Hopefully they won’t need more than blog hype and counting as far back as Wednesday night’s receipts to make the next ‘weekend’ gross look ‘awesome!’ You want to keep bravely ‘embracing’ new media this way after someone else actually comes up with the idea, fine.

Just like the Chevy Tahoe videos showed though, having the latest toy and knowing what to do with it are two different things.

Tags: advertising, Snakes on a Plane, brands, Sam Jackson, snakes, motherfucking snakes, New Line Cinema