Back-up your blog.

Blogger, WordPress, TypePad, etc. whatever you use. Now’s a good time to make a copy of the code of your main page template and email it to yourself. Like I had to. Just now. After deleting half my link section to the right yesterday, but not discovering it until today. Luckily, I was covered. For those using Blogger, just go to your dashboard, click the ‘template’ tab, then select all the copy in the window that appears, copy and paste in an email or any word-processing application. If you email it, just put something really eye-catching in the subject line like “Emergency idiot code for people like me stupid enough to delete my blog code, but thankfully, I have this back-up.”

Or something like that.

Tags: advertising, brands, viral

NOTE TO OUTBACK STEAKHOUSE:

PLEASE STOP SINGING WITH AN AUSTRALIAN ACCENT IN YOUR RADIO AND TV SPOTS. IT’S ANNOYING. LIKE ALL-CAPS ANNOYING.

Tags: advertising, Outback Steakhouse, brands, viral

Messin’ with sasquatch.

You know me. I love bigfoot stuff. New campaign for Jack Link’s Beef Jerkey. TV and web looks pretty good. Although bigfoot has a case of Yeti-head more than Sasquatch-head. But I digress.

Tags: advertising, brands, viral, Jack Link’s

Is it any wonder the world’s fucked up?

More soccer talk tomorrow, but for now, this fun story:

“This is war against all people who show films that promote pornography, drug dealing and all forms of evil,” Omar told AFP.

“We shall not even allow the showing of the World Cup because they corrupt the morals of our children whom we endeavour to teach the Islamic way of life,” he added.”

So football, futbol, footy and soccer corrupts. Funny. And I thought it was absolute power. Like that of the ruling army who kept everyone from watching coverage courtesy of an AK-47.

(Image courtesy of Mike Brown.)

Tags: advertising, brands, viral, World Cup

Contest answers - and some fonts.

Looks like my ferret collection is safe since nobody got all the answers correct in the title contest, although sharondot made it close. Wasn’t really worried too much either way, I would’ve sent the little bastard FedEx Priority overnight. Poke a few holes in the box, and bam, good-to-go. Thanks to the masses who left it all on the field in this heated contest.

Anyway, I got the contest idea after discovering these font sites when looking for a TV show for a project. They have pretty much any font from movies or TV shows now for free download. Check out Famous Fonts, Acid Fonts and Type Now. I don’t want to know how they do it, but they have useful stuff. Not intended for resale unless you pay for them, so use them for, cough, ahem, comp purposes only.

(Click image for a closer look.)

Tags: advertising, brands, viral

Help for a friend.

I got this today. Maybe you guys can help? Sorry to be begging but, whatever you can do. Thanks.

“FROM:VIVIANI_KWUAM

COUNTRY: ABIDJAN, IVORYCOAST (viviani kwuame1000@yahoo.co.in) DEAR,

I GOT YOUR CONTACT INFORMATION THROUGH THIS SITE. AND I DECIDED TO CONTACT YOU,HOPING THAT BY ALMIGHTY GOD GRACE YOU WILL SUCCESSFULLY ASSIST ME OUT FROM MY SITUATION AFTER MY SEVEN GOOD DAYS PRAYERS AND FASTING OVER SEEKING FOR AN OVERSEES GUARDANCE .

I AM :VIVIANI KWUAME (22 YEARS OLD) THE ONLY DAUGHTER OF LATE CHIEF JOSEPH KWUAME WHO WAS A FAMOUS AND WEALTHY COCOA MERCHANT BASED IN ABIDJAN,THE ECONOMIC CAPITAL OF IVORYCOAST. I AM SEEKING FOR YOUR URGENT ATTENTION TO HELP ME TRANSFER THE SUM OF (US$10,500,000.00 )TEN MILLION FIVE HUNDRED THOUSAND UNITED STATE OF AMERICAN DOLLARS INTO YOUR NOMINATED BANK ACCOUNT OVERSEAS FOR AN INVESTMENTS PURPOSES,SUCH AS REAL ESTATES MANAGEMENTS AND STOCK MARKERTS. THE FUND WAS DEPOSITED IN FIXED SUSPENCE ACCOUNT

PLEASE , I AM WILLING TO OFFER YOU 20% OUT OF THIS MY TOTAL FUND AS YOUR COMMISSION FOR YOUR URGENT ASSISTANCE TO ME.PLEASE KINDLY WRITE IMMEDIATELY FOR MORE IMPORTANT DETAILS CONCERNING THIS MY MUTUAL TRANSACTION.

YOURS FAITHFULLY,
VIVIANI KWUAME

NOTE: I HAVE ALL THE NECESSARY DOCUMENTS IN RELATION TO THIS MY FUND DEPOSITED BY MY LATE FATHER IN THE BANK. AND ALSO KINDLY REPLY ME ON THIS MY PRIVATE EMAIL (viviani_kwuame1000@yahoo.co.in) FOR CONFIDENTIAL AND SECURITY REASONS OK THANKS.

(Sucka).

But it sounds so real. And wait a sec, look at that image. How the hell does a homeless guy have a website?

Tags: advertising, brands, viral

Idea Freeze.

Usually when I brainstorm on stuff, I take about a half hour to purge all the first thoughts out of my head, then get into the flow. I hit my stride around the hour mark and usually produce acceptable crap. Ever have those times though that no matter what you try, the ideas just don’t come to you? Nothing. Nada. Nunca. I call it Idea Freeze, not as painful as Brain Freeze, but damn close.

At that point, the only thing that ever works for me is stepping away and doing something completely different. And damn if the idea I was looking for the previous hour doesn’t pop into my brain. It’s the act of doing one thing while the brain subconciously works on the original problem. Doctors now have a name for it. They call it: Indirectional Cognitive Reasoning While Doing Something Else And Then The Idea Hits Me, or ICRWDEATTIHM^™ for short.

You ever have that?

Tags: advertising, brands, viral

Contest up until Thursday-ish.

Ok, it’s obvious my contests suck. But to gain Max-Suckitude^®, I’m leaving this one it up until Thursday-ish this week so more people can guess. Hint(s): One of the shows starred Mr. T. and one of the movies starred Quentin Tarantino.

Tags: advertising, brands, viral

Brin says Google compromised principles.

It’s a start I suppose. A few of the now 27 readers here know that I gave them shit for agreeing to China’s initial censorship demands. Now they Google founders admit they compromised. Will they change their minds though and say Just Say No to Mao for good, that’s the thing.

Apparently, they’re waiting to see what China does. Don’t need the Magic eight to tell me what I already know. Mainly, if China hasn’t changed it’s iron fist policies in how many centuries now, what makes Serge think he can make them?

Tags: advertising, Google China, brands, viral

Great product placement.

From the pages of middle America comes this innovative use of product placement. Seems Cory didn’t like mom’s take on American Idol. So, he introduced her to Mr. West Coast Chopper - keychain edition. Normally with a story like this, the quote from Cory’s mom alone would be worth the price of admission: “... her son did not intend to hurt her, but rather that he meant to ‘mess’ her hair.”

But, upon further review, there’s something better here. Cory may have stumbled onto a HUGE opportunity for consumer generated product placement in a new channel: the abuse market. (And that’s CGPP for acronym freaks out there). Beat yer mom, then, if you’re lucky, the DA displays the weapon of choice for the world to see. Provided you thought to talk to a few marketing directors of major brands ahead of time, and maybe even cut a deal, they get free PR while you get a little scratch. Priceless. Sales of WCC keychains are probably through the roof by now.

But, lest anyone repeat the mistake of the Tahoe CGC debacle, make sure you use a branded product when you bring the pain, otherwise, it’s a wasted opportunity. Why grab a stick when a can of Mobil® 5w-30 would be higher profile?

Tags: advertising, brands, viral

Contest: Guess the Titles.

Ok, just because I felt like it, here’s a little something to see if you’re paying attention, since oh, 1960. Actually, it’s also to show that people can remember words and titles without seeing the actual name. There’s a show and movie, (and in one case a group). For each decade that you see listed, you have to guess the title of the show, movie or group the font is from. All of the answers will be well-known. Don’t cheat, or at least don’t tell me about it, nudge, nudge. Any winner who guesses all of them correctly will get something. Not sure what yet.

(Click image for a closer look.)


Tags: advertising, brands, viral

Art director pet peeve time.

While the use of a plain apostrophe ' is one of my AD peeves, (and Mack Simpson’s as well), I have another that gets me more nutzer. It’s reflected light and shadows in images that are mismatched or shot at different times, as you can see with the plane and vehicle in this shot. (Click the image to enlarge.) It’s for the new LR3 from Land Rover which I first saw on an outdoor in NYC this week.

I used to do heavy print collateral for them, and as an AD, one of the things I did was major retouching on all their images. Shot comes over from the UK with driver on the wrong side? No problem. Flop him and the steering wheel he rode in on. Running lights the wrong color or a roof rack missing? No problem there either. Wheels don’t spin? Give me 11 minutes and they will. Rig on the front of the car? Hell, that’s cake.

Photoshop is my friend – Wacom my harbinger of retouching death.

[And for those that don’t already know, all cars in running shots for ads or brochures like you see above have a rig attached to the front of the car, underneath the front bumper. Camera and car don’t move in relation to each other and voila - motion becomes visible only in the background when shot. Yes, Photoshop can mimic a lot of that blurred motion later if you have to, but there’s still something about that authentic camera effect, and adding motion blur to a static shot can be a real pain in the ass depending on the background you have to work with.]

But I digress.

So why the love on my part? Because I thought LR used to have standards that wouldn’t allow stuff like that to slip by. The plane in the background is shot at a different time of day than the LR3 is. The surface on top of the plane’s cockpit indicates the sun is beating down on it at around mid-morning, say 10:00 am or mid-afternoon, 2:00 pm. It’s just stuff you notice after doing it for so long.

The LR3’s reflections though indicate overcast skies late in the afternoon as the sun is going down. Look at the reflections of the mountains in the side of the car also. They don’t match the mountains in the background, because if they did, those mountains in the distance would be glowing with at least some cast light near their peaks.

So why do I care? Why should anyone? Why does this shit get me crazy? Because it’s about getting it right, especially on a brand like Land Rover. This shows a lack of attention to detail. Little by little, you allow that to go on and the work you do becomes compromised.

I need a drink.

Tags: advertising, brands, viral

Interesting branding and sales idea.

Saw this on Marketallica. Cool way to freshen up the idea of using an affiliate program. And, a great blog name too. But not as good as my name for an all art director Metallica cover band I call simply: Italica.

Tags: advertising, Flckr, brands, viral

It’s new-term Thursday: sonification & rhodopsin.

Lest people get the idea that all I do is rip on ads, it’s time to once again learn you people something what’s good fer ya.

First off, I picked up a cool term from Mr. Dolby at his show a while back. It’s called sonification. Basically, it’s the process of using sound to represent data. The way he used it though was to take NASA recordings of the sun and convert it to a sound clip, which he then mixed into the same key of one of his song intros, Windpower. Very cool use of solar winds as it were.

Then there’s rhodopsin. No, he didn’t fight Godzilla or Mothra either. (See, eventually you knew I was going to tie the photo in somehow.) Also known as ‘visual purple,’ rhodopsin is the pigment sensitive to red light that’s in our eyes. The effect is one most creatives may have unknowingly experienced at one point or another, especially if you spent any time in a dark room.

It’s not affected by the red light of a dark room. What happens is that we adapt to the dark after 30 minutes or so, the rhodopsin having reached its full effect, which then results in a feeling of calm. Shadows reveal themselves as eyes adjust to the reduced light.

But the effect is over the instant any regular light is introduced onto the scene. The rhodopsin is then immediately bleached from the system as rods and cones go nuts reacting to the normal light as you then cover your eyes.

So there. And don’t worry, my next post will tear someone a new one. Land Rover, beware.

Tags: advertising, brands, viral, Thomas Dolby, sonification, rhodopsin

DVD covers - the new LPs?

Soccer and DVD covers. Where’s this going? I’ll let ya know when I figure it out.

First, DVD covers. Gone are the days of massive point-of-purchase real estate for designers to showcase their skillz like you’d see on LPs. (Vinyl for the old-school out there.) For the new school, those were round black things that spun, but were read by needles, not lasers. Oh forget it.

So as I find myself getting ready for World Cup action recently, I was looking for soccer movies. As I did, I thought about the shrinking real estate that’s now left for artwork, and how DVD covers are probably the only thing today we see, besides one-sheets at the movies, that now have the duty of grabbing our attention. Vinyl covers had that effect, but now on CD, the impact of Steely Dan’s Asia cover is just not the same. (Which by the way was my third album owned, and yes I still have it, along with my first and second.)

And what better DVD to cover both topics than with than Victory. Is there a soccer movie with a more perfect Hollywood-ending? A better cover? A better use of Sly Stallone and Michael Caine forming a V FOR VICTORY PEOPLE?

If there is, I haven’t seen it.

Tags: advertising, World Cup, brands, viral

Best show on TV returns tonight.

Is it as important as melting polar ice caps? Nope. But, if you like my wise-ass sense of humor, Denis Leary has more where that came from. Rescue Me is the best show out there right now. Forget Lost. Forget House. Forget 24. FX channel. 10 pm tonight ad bitches.

Tags: advertising, brands, viral, Rescue Me

SubLYMONal eye candy.

Until this weekend, I thought Scion was doing a decent job with the eye candy factor with spots in movie theatres and on TV, until I saw the spot for Sprite from Crispin Miami that shortens the Obey Your Thirst campaign to simply, Obey. I also got a direct mail piece with nothing but a url on it for ‘Do U Have The Proof?’ I think the Sprite has an actual message more so than Scion does, but hey, they both look good. And that’s what counts these days, right?

Tags: advertising, sublymonal, brands, viral, Scion

Pass, pass, pass the cold Coors radio spot to someone else.

So Fred throws up the Bat signal about the lack of good radio, and who comes along to prove his point? Really trying hard here not to be an asshole, but if anyone can explain to me how the latest Coors spot deserves to be on the radio, I’ll have George Parker send you $50. Damn if I can find it to give you a link though. It must already be in the CRP (Creative Relocation Program) so nobody makes an attempt on its life.

If you haven’t heard it, it’s a large group of friends, I’m guessing in a bar, (duh), singing, “Pass, pass, pass the cold Coors Light.” But it’s sung to the tune of what sounds like it wants to be “Take me out to the ballgame” on meth. Then the fun begins as the singers pass off lyrics to one another in their own unique styles. Purposely out of tune. Purposely out of synch. Sweet. Only problem is, the people obviously can sing, yet they have them trying to sing like rejects from the first week of American Idol.

I don’t get it.


Tags: advertising, brands, viral

Speaker from hell. And other assorted train spotting.

Three days off from the Speaker From Hell.™

Everyday at 8:45 am, on the last stop before I end my sojourn, the engineer feels the need to blast, at shuttle-engine db levels, a :45 second clip of any song he sees fit. These might include but are not limited to, Ticket To Ride from The Beatles or Voodoo Child from Jimi. But yesterday’s was so scary I forgot what it was. Starland Vocal Band comes to mind.

But it’s not all about the music, is it. Here’s a few more train spotting things I’ve taken to naming:

Stand-up Reading Lady^® - She’s three stops from her stop, but she just has to stand by the door and read the same damn book, never looking up as people pass. And if someone fails to close the door, no worries mate. She’ll reach out with one hand and close it for ya. That’s right – without looking up.

Loud-speakerphone Nextel Guy^® - “NOT SURE WHAT TIME YET. ARE YOU GOING TO BE HOME LATER? OK, I’LL GET THEM THEN. OH, GUESS WHAT HAPPENED TO PETEY. YEAH. HE GOT FIRED. NO, YEAH I’M NOT KIDDING. I KNEW IT WAS GOING TO HAPPEN SOONER OR LATER. I MEAN GEEZ, A LIVE GOAT. HEY, YANKS ARE PLAYING TONIGHT. YEAH, I KNOW. NO PITCHING. TORRE HAS TO GO.”

We know this man, and we hate him. We know his cousin: the guy in the background of most sporting events on TV calling someone to tell them what we already know: “Hey look, I’m on TV!”

Random Buds^® - Weekly, I will kick or knock over empty beer cans left behind, but never single cans. Strangely, I find myself now thinking that there must be a beer for every beer out there, a beer soul-mate, if you will. (Note to self: register beerhookup.com.)

The Roamer^® - This species usually is male, in their 50’s, could be on a day off, or just takes the train so his wife doesn’t find out he lost his job. Scratch that. He’s coming this way. No way he’s married. Has at least one shopping bag with something heavy causing him to lean hard to port. And he does this as he goes from car to car.

Not to mention ‘that smell.’

Grandpa Ticket^® - If Wilford Brimley never went into acting, I swear this is his twin who’d be collecting your $7 fair and dispensing wisdom like “Nope. The Express is the only way into Penn.” 40 days out from retiring. Old-school who has zero tolerance for dayworkers without tickets, feet on seats, or young punks, punk.

I’ll Get There When I Can Guy™ - A special breed. Still angry at the judge for taking his license on that DUI, that he’s now going to take it out on the rest of us. How? By waiting in his car until the train pulls up, then sauntering, not hustling, but sauntering to the train with coffee in hand as he turns to wave good-bye to Anna Nicole Smitten. While we watch – and wait.

Can’t Wait To Have a Cigarette Guy^® - For some reason, this guy has major sunburn. You rack your brain wondering if the Yankees or Mets were playing today. Then you think, wait, it’s only 8 in the morning – where’d it come from. But you people came for the cigarettes. Of which he has one above his ear, while he talks to his buddy in that 5-pack a day voice: “Yankees. Christ! No pitching.” Then he sprints off the rain at his stop to light up.

And if I had to label myself?

Back Of The Train Guy^® - This guy heads to the last row whenever possible, ignoring the humanty around him.

Tags: advertising, brands, viral

Tiny Kiss - the ultimate Kiss tribute band.

Not to be confused with MiniKiss, this may be one of the most unique tribute bands out there. The backstory alone sounds like something right out of the WWE.

Tags: advertising, Tiny Kiss, brands, Kiss tribute

Weekly What The...?

• Enron Founder Lay 'Shocked' at Conviction – In what alternate universe do these guys live?
• Oprah to write book on weight control – Isn’t that what she uses her show for? (Buzzpatrol)
• Dutchtub – Those whacky Dutch. (Coolhunting.)
• Random Lunchbox – Us whacky Americans.

Tags: weird, odd news

Soccer rant time - Nike does it again.

SPOILER ALERT: This is about soccer. So if you hate the sport? Well, read on anyway. But it won’t be pretty. Just sayin’.

So ok, soccer freaks like me are getting ready to stay up late, lose sleep and throw stuff at the TV. First though, Nike rolls out its ‘Beware’ campaign. Guys, Please. Two words: Bode Miller and Kobe Bryant. Because in my twisted fan-logic way, I view self-important ads as having a whacky effect on game mojo. Considering how The Lakers and Us Ski Team did this year when it counted, this may just be a hat trick where the US exits early in group play.

Thanks Nike.

The US team needs to win consistently against the world’s best before you have them chest thumping and talking shit. All of a sudden I hear Woody Harrelson in my head repeating over and over: “...look good and lose rather than look bad and win.”

Maybe WK and Nike should instead focus their efforts on Bruce Arena and help him figure out how to come up with a creative game plan. Is that a 4-4-2 I see? Wow. Sweet. Only he could elevate the NFL’s prevent defense to an art form and call it offensive soccer. Tip to spice things up: they’re called overlapping runs - look into it.

Oh, and did I mention shuffling line-ups constantly as he tries to figure out a mix that plays together well? More better brilliant from Bruce. And hey now, why not stop grabbing MLS players just two weeks before they go before they are to play for the National Team?

Several people have told me that he’s done a lot for the National team and it’s in better shape because of his efforts. I disagree. The talent pool got better - not the coaching. Ironic that Landon is the lead figure in the campaign, especially when it was Arena who inexplicably limited his playing time during Donovan’s first World Cup experience years ago.

Especially when the team could have used his speed. In his limited PT, he was absolutely the fastest player on the pitch who teams had no answer for, yet, he sat for most of the games.

But I digress.

Nike, Nike, Nike. Remember: the rest of the world laughs at the US national team and the quality of soccer in this country, no matter what the campaign says. Only the team has the power to change that, not a cool outdoor. I’m old-school on this: until they overcome that hurdle, act like you’ve been there before and save the metaphorical, proverbial, theoretical, and etc-cettera-cal fucking endzone dance until we win it all.

Tags: advertising, Nike, brands, viral, US National Team

More ad stuff to retire.

Since I already covered a robust list of ad words to retire, I want to expand it to include general ad things to retire. Some people hate clowns. Others hate mimes. My latest peeve is the sound of a beer being poured into a glass in any radio spot.

Can’t explain it. Can’t figure it out. Don’t want to. Not gonna try. I just hate that sound. I know, how the hell are you supposed to show beer on the radio. You don’t. But I don’t care about that right now.

Someone will figure it out though. Crispin will probably have a radio spot for some beer in a month where the VO goes: ”See this bottle?” and win a shitload of awards. Again. (And if they do, I want partial credit.)

But for now, that sound is an aural irritant on par with fingernails on a chalkboard.

There. I said it.


Tags: advertising, brands, viral

Who stands to lose more - Nike, WK or Kobe?

Since Shaq has his Heat deeper in the playoffs while Kobe sits on the sidelines, and I’m going on about three hours sleep again, I’m throwing this out there. It could get messy kids. Hold on tight.

A while back, there were heated discussions and gushing over Kobe’s spot from WK, the one where he basically admonished us that we ‘hate him’ because of his skillz. Now as then, I beg to differ.

I know the reason I disliked his attitude, and it wasn’t due to the mad skillz I recognize he has. WK and Nike pushed Bode Miller on us in the Olympics. Yeah, they’re WK, smart, brilliant, all that and who am I.

But I’d say the same thing today to them if they ran another self-serving campaign about an athlete designed to change our public opinion of them, and I was in the room brainstorming the idea with them.

Which leads to the point:

Who gets hurt more when an athlete doesn't perform up to expectations they themselves lay out before us in these spots: the brand, the agency, or the athlete?

Sure as shit ain’t Nike. They'll wake up tomorrow making as many shoes as they do today – and selling just as many.

And it sure as shit ain’t WK. They’ll wake up tomorrow writing as many award-winning ads as they always have.

So that leaves the athletes. Sure I think Kobe and Bode were and are over-over-over-exposed. And it may appear I’m doing a 180 and defending Kobe. I am – to a degree.

Ultimately, while they’re all free to choose what endorsement deals they go after, they also bear the brunt of our negative rap in the court of public opinion, while Nike rings up sales.

It’s just the nature of the lifestyle brand beast, but maybe Nike shouldn’t escape so easily. When you market sports and lifestyle gear, you usually end up with athletes or celebrity peeps hawking something and being the latest ‘it’ for the brand. The lightening rod for everything we hate or love in sports. Cheered for a buzzer-beater, yet vulnerable to the fallout when it rims out.

But should the agency escape the negative feedback? (And it could be any agency, not just a WK.) We applaude or boo whoever is placed in front of us. Human nature. But who puts the Kobes of the world out there in the first place.

Sure as shit ain’t us.

Thing is, Nike’s not just another consumer product, such as Pepsi. If there’s a product-tampering scare, Jay Mohr doesn’t stop getting movie offers. But people will stay away from the Pepsi section in 7-11 – in droves. That directly affects the brand.

When Bode hits 24 flags racing downhill, people still buy products with a swoosh on them, because he’s the product, not the shoes. The brand escapes scorn – and prospers.

And maybe Kobe should direct his anger towards Nike and WK for helping put him out there on stage. Sometimes I wish he’d just sell me a Pepsi rather than a reason for why I don’t ‘understand’ him.

Guess I’m also pissed Eddie the Eagle never got a shoe deal.

Tags: advertising, Kobe Bryant, brands, viral, Bode Miller

Okay, it’s Hockey Monkey Time.

In keeping with this week’s seemingly endless monkey theme, I’m throwin’ out a little hey now to my boy on tha’ skins, Mat O of The Zambonis, North-America’s favorite all-hockey band. Currently, their song Hockey Monkey is #1 on Sirius Radio’s AltNation Channel 21, ahead of such groups as Jack White’s Raconteurs and Artic Monkeys. So if you subscribe, feel free to vote early and vote often: 1-877-33-SIRIUS.

Listen to some of their stuff here, or don’t be cheap and go buy it bitches. They may be also the only band I know to record a Johnny Cash hockey song. That’s what I said people. Johnny Cash.

Tags: advertising, The Zambonis, brands, viral

Everybody crazy ‘bout a sharp-dressed mime.

I hate mimes. Who doesn’t. But this new Virgin Mobil campaign from Mother NY aims to change that and give them a voice. Wild postings, website the whole nine yards. Even a million mime march and a cool Mimulator. (Other protest photos here.) Hate it, love it, whatever. I’m not hatin’ since I know the CD on it. Actually though, if I thought it sucked, I wouldn’t have even posted it.

Tags: advertising, Virgin Mobil, brands, viral

It’s Monkey radio time people.

Freelance Fred talks about a lack of quality radio spots these days, save for the Real Men of Genius campaign. Now you already know the Monkey spots I swear by from R-west, but I was reminded of a funny radio spot they did also. Found it here, and it’s a great parody of those self-serving OnStar ads. The ones where what they should say is “Screw the towtruck - call my lawyer and send gauze. Now!”

Tags: advertising, brands, viral

Monkeys Gone Wild II

Rescued from watching Point Break for the third time in a row on Fox Movie Channel, George Parker saw my Bat Monkey signal - and has responded. Check out a clip of Peter Cook and Dudley Moore as a monkey bartender and customer from youtube. After listening to it, I’d have to agree with his evaluation that they probably really were shitfaced when they recorded it.

Tags: advertising, Dudley Moore, Peter Cook, brands, viral

A simple request.

Having kids, I bitch about a lot of stuff, but I’m thankful the most I need to worry about is whether they pick up their rooms or not. For other parents I know like Ace, (a copywriter I worked with), they would kill for that chance. That’s because autism affects more children now than ever before, taking away any chance at that normal life. Check out this upcoming event for Autism Speaks. See what you can do. Maybe even pass it on to others, if only to build more awareness.

Tags: advertising, autism, brands

Gimme Your Stuff.

Cool concept from rikki down under. (No boomerang jokes either, ad bitches.) She started a blog where people can basically exchange care packages containing things local to the sender, mostly food, but any schwag will do. I just did one with someone in Austin in exchange for some East coast representin’ attitude. Here’s what I got in mine: barbeque and chipotle sauces, tex-mex cookbook, and my fav, religious-themed soap. That’s what I said. Soap with the baby Jesus.

Tags: advertising, brands, viral

Funky old-school site time.

Jack White’s new site for The Raconteurs. A cool retro interface look. Thanks to Scott over at Media Orchard, who I agree with when he says this may be the coolest site since 1982. Or at least since Al Gore invented the internet. Now I’m in the mood for Tempest and Asteroids, people.

Tags: advertising, Jack White, brands, viral

Apes Shown to Be Able to Plan Ahead.

Ok, now just stop it. Chimp stories are breeding like rabbits.

Tags: advertising, brands, viral

Co-branding idea.

On the way in this am I saw a unique branding opportunity. Seems like one of NJ Transit’s finest conductors saw fit to slice a Jet Blue wall poster horizontally and insert train schedules into the slot. (If I can grab a pic of it, I will.) But, hmmm, not a bad idea actually. Mix two different brands in one category, (travel), and, in one piece. Where else could we take this concept of cutting up ads?

Well, after channeling copyranter, the guru of consumer-generated ad crits, I came up with Levitra and Trojans. Free samples of condoms stuck into posters. The couple in the ad seem to like it. And it’s a Russian ad because that’s all I could find on Google this late. But does it really matter? Viagra and Levitra ads are the same the world over. They suck.

But this execution has legs baby. Da! Add your own brand combos to the list.

Tags: advertising, brands, viral

One step closer to being replaced by apes.

I’m telling you people. It’s going to happen. Am I the only one worried here?

Tags: advertising, Planet of the Apes, brands, Charleton Heston, viral

Ads that suck - and work.

What are we doing here people. Winning awards? Moving product off the shelf? Both? Trying to do both? Of course it’s always the latter, right? I thought about this yesterday as I was riding NJ Transit’s spiffiest rail coach and saw the same ad I’ve seen almost every day, (for Heritage For The Blind).

I’m sure they do great things for the blind. But man, talk about feelings of total guilt on the ride home as I stare at a blind kid. Nice. Only thing missing was the tagline that told me I’d end up in hell if I looked away. (Oh I’m going, but not for that.) And I like shock value, don’t get me wrong. See the topic here of PSA work that pushes the limit creatively. This isn’t about guilt though. The ad reminded me of some past work that was absolutely suck-ass, but, damn if it wasn’t effective.

For anyone not familiar with him, the second example above is Bob. Bob runs Bob’s Discount Furniture, naturally. What else would a Bob run. Originally, he started in CT, but his demon seed is now spreading across the Northeast like bird flu. His infamous call to action is an all-in-one late-night used car dealer shout and wave: ‘COME ON DOWNNNNNN!’

If all you have to spend is $399, Bob’s your uncle and Bob’s your guy. Sofa. Loveseat. Chairs. Tables. Lamps. Children. Pets. Get them all for one low price. The ads are everywhere. And you know what? They work.

He became the number one discount furniture guy because people came on down. Screw the Clio. Bob moved product. Lots of it. Later ads would have him tone down the shouts, but, that to me is usually a sign of a new agency coming on board and trying to reshape the image of a client who made it big. (Even though that image is one the agency hates for being too tacky, and is actually what got him his success.)

So what are we doing here people? What’s the real purpose of advertising? It seems clients like Bob are clueless when it comes to what looks good, which drives creatives nuts. But the Bobs of the world do know a thing or two about marketing. Which we creatives are supposed to know a thing or two about as well. The problem comes when the world of effective suckitude crosses paths with cool ad creative. A coincidence that both Bob and PT Barnum call CT their home? Doubtful. This way to the furniture egress.

Tangental to the topic, but I’m not against CEOs doing their own ads either, even if they’re safe spots like Half.com with Scott Blum or vacuum guru James ‘I don’t need no stinking ad agency’ Dyson. The simple and quiet ads work as effectively as Bob’s. Will they win awards? Hell, anything’s possible. But if they do, the world should stop rotating.

And yet, I doubt they could care less. Because at the end of the day, it’s all about moving product... or is it? One thing’s for sure, next time I think about donating my car, guess what ad I’ll remember.

Informal pop quiz, hotshots: Bob was your client forever. His billings would allow you to have your dream home, vacation at the Cape and it put your kids through college – yet you would never win an award. Would you say yes? Because there are some agency peeps in CT living that dream thanks to Bob. (For the record, my answer is no. I’m too shallow to pass on a shot at a Clio.)

And don’t even get me started on Tom Carvel.

Tags: advertising, brands, viral

George Foreman for Viagra.

That’s about the only thing I haven’t seen the guy hawk. I was looking for some samples of bad ads for a rant but oddly enough, George kept popping up, so I’ll wait until tomorrow to go off on my ‘manager’s special’ topic. But based on some initial hits on Google images, I just may actually be able to cover a little of it today with a Flowbee reference. Maybe it’s all those kids of his named George that keep him working. Either that, or HBO doesn’t pay that well.

(From left: Meinke, George Forman Grill, Casual Male, RMS Banking and yes, the Flowbee.)

Tags: advertising, brands, George Forman

Random Stuff Friday.

Ok, trying out another way to sum up some of the madness encountered this week. As Beastie Boy Adam would say, “Hey, why is there a picture of Andy Kaufman there?” Because it’s random, that’s why. Then he’d get on tha mic and say: “Let...me...clear...my...throat!” Kick it:

Over at valleywag, they have the Snacky or Flacky contest running its final laps. Voted, but then stopped myself from using Blogalicious. Figured someone already invented it. Voila. ..... Over at Media Orchard, I may just have found what could be an idea for a new Fox reality show, apparently modeled after The Donny’s: When Egos Attack (the fun is in the comments section kids, trust me) ..... One of the flock here at MTLB, Maulleigh, has a depreciation of Comic Sans matched only by my disdain for Brush Script ..... And fucking Mack hit it dead-on right here with what makes a CD ..... For George, a fellow Brit Thomas Dolby speaks out on what makes Tom Cruise say the things he does ..... And because I’m in the mood to give stuff away, an easy one for the flock here: A FREE! That’s right, a FREE! mix CD to anyone who can tell me what the two very real brands were that my Seinfeld Fruitcake Creative Brief theory below referred to, and what the actual resulting creative was for each fake brief. (Hint: it may not have been a tangible ad either.) Post all your guesses in that thread and list the music genre you most listen to also. All correct guesses will have the vault to the MTLB music library opened for them. And fear not music freaks, I can bring it in pretty much any genre, from Monk to Moby to Metallica. And I will...*

*Dealer’s choice though. Some restrictions apply. All models may not be available at all locations. See retailer for rules. Do not use if you are pregant or are thinking about becoming pregnant while operating heavy machinery.

Tags: advertising, Tom Cruise, brands, viral

Moo.

Go here. New take on an old campaign from Goodby. More milk found here. (Thanks Zeke.)

In search of the elusive creative brief.

With a nod to Leonard Nimoy, Scamp beat me to this topic. On the train home tonight, there I sat looking out the window, when I saw what appeared to be a large creature with an actual creative brief in its hand, er paw. Ironic that Bigfoot would have one because God knows I haven’t seen a good one in a long time, if ever.

Oh, I’ve heard they exist. But has anyone else actually seen one in captivity? Its characteristics: has been known to mention brand postitioning, hints at a USP, maybe has some relevant data on the target market that would allow us to soar to new creative heights. Instead, we grab the damn thing and call the client ourselves.

What most creatives get is a domestic brief that would die if released into the wild. Its main characteristics? It acts like a spec sheet as it features physical dimensions for how big the thing to be designed should be. Subsequent horizontal lines run vertically down it’s bright white surface. Lines where pertinent info should go, but said info is nowhere to be found.

Ironic that account teams who hate white space in a layout leave so much of it in a brief.

Then you say, hmmm, what about maybe listing one or two consumer touchpoints and a positioning statement from the brand? The voices in your head go “Shhhh, you worry too much.” Then, the job of filling in what planners and account teams should have is left to me and my partner. At the 11th hour. Like last night. Before today’s presentation.

I’m sure top agencies all have killer planners where this never happens, and I’d love to hear from you all about your experiences, but that’s not been mine.

So I have a theory. I call it the Seinfeld Creative Brief Fruitcake Theory. (SCBFT for short. SCAB works just as well too.) As you may know, Jerry Seinfeld did a joke in his routine about there being only one fruit cake in the world that gets passed around to everyone. No new ones were ever made.

Life was good.

And this applies to creative briefs. The SCAB theory says there are only two known creative briefs circulating. So good. So amazing that they are passed around now in attempt to have agencies recapture their ‘magic.’ Briefs so good they’re like a Bic pen - they work first time every time.

I can only imagine what they must have said to the creatives who first viewed them, as anyone who has seen them might have temporarily lost their eyesight - yes they were that powerful. (Think Vincent in Pulp with his golden suitcase.) Let’s cut to the most important part of the briefs:

“...People want change. We need to alter the way the masses of office workers slaving away on their computers think. Wake them up from their drone mentality in an unforgettable way. Some how, some way, forever change the landscape of technology and how people regard personal computing. We need to introduce a revolution in computing...”

Followd by...

“...The country is on a health kick. We need to get the casual runner, the casual athlete more involved and responsible for their own health. To get them to stop making excuses and get off the couch. To just go out and do it...”

Now those aren’t the real briefs, but you know the brands without me even having to mention their names. Imagine having that to work with every day. I can, because I don’t. But hey, I’m not bitter.

Tags: advertising, brands, viral

Bag o’ wires let me down.

It’s late. All-nighter late. Couldn’t even post today because I’m still on an insane deadline for 2:00 pm tomorrow afternoon. So at 3:50 am, when your walkman dies and you’re looking for an AC adapter, where do you turn? That’s right:

Bag o’ wires.

Every guy has one. Any guy says he doesn’t, well, he just ain’t... a guy. It’s what defines us. That, and power tools. But tonight, my bag failed me. After 10 minutes sifting through the ethernet orgy encased in plastic for said adapter - nothing. Nada. Nunca.

There is not a creative alive who does not need tunes played insanely loud to get them through a deadline. Nada. Nunca. So now, I am listening to iTunes at insanely low levels so as not to wake the family. Hardly enough mojo to get through the rest of the night either. And all because my bag o’ wires let me down.

Tags: advertising, brands, viral

Thomas Dolby’s mea culpa - what brands can learn.

You know what time it is. Long-ass weekend rant time.

Saw Thomas Dolby last night. Visually cool with funky camera work similar to the way Peter Gabriel used video on Secret World Live, not to mention his re-mixed song catalog. Dolby’s computer set-up has to be perfectly timed or everything will be out of sync. (Here’s his audio set-up and his video rig for the geeks like me out there. Intense.)

Thing is, it got out of sync almost immediately after he started his first song. Reading his blog for some time though, I knew this could happen, as he had discussed the tour and some of the problems with fans on a daily basis.

So when it happened, it was what came after that was more amazing, because I’ve never seen anyone really do this, let alone a brand. He stops the show. Apologizes, then calls a roadie out with a box full of T-shirts and throws a few out to the audience. “Every time we make a mistake, you guys get shirts.”

Funniest thing I ever saw. Was it curing cancer? No. It was just a little gesture that went a long way to repairing goodwill – before anyone booed.

Of course we all didn’t get them, and I’m not suggesting Pepsi throw me a t-shirt when I happen to get a flat soda from 7-Eleven. But the main thing is he acknowledged the goof, then set out to repair the damage to the customer almost immediately. It totally chilled the room out and the good vibe was restored. That’s right. I said vibe people.

And it could apply to any brand.

Tahoe, are you listening? Come out and say, “We know people hate SUV’s, but we just thought we could have people share in our message with consumer generated mayhem. Do they? No. They’re too in love with the sound of their own brand to think anyone could possibly have a problem with their product. Look at the fallout.

Ford. Come out and say “You know what? Things are tough for us right now. We let go a lot of people to try and save the company. Hard thing to do, but we had to it.” Do they? No. Instead, we get a fucking muppet named Kermit at the Super Bowl.

Nearly all brands that make mistakes shouldn’t wait for customers to call them on it. Come out and acknowledge it before we do. This morning I caught a relevant post on consumer satisfaction over at adverb. A story also notable for what happened after. (Granted, that was in reaction to a specific complaint, but a cool story nonetheless.) Mr. Dolby’s reaction is slightly different in that he actually got out in front of a potential customer satisfaction problem before it became one.

Regardless, both stories show how brands can do more to take care of their customers by just coming clean rather than pretending everything’s just fine.

Tags: advertising, brands, Thomas Dolby, viral

Happy Cinco de...

...Mayan. Have a Mexcellent day.


Tags: advertising, brands, viral, Cinco de Mayo

Chernobyl graffiti.

Some stuff I find looks cool. Some looks haunting. This is both. Found at anewyorkthing. (They always have cool shit.)

Tags: advertising, brands, grafitti, chernobyl

Weekly What The...?

• Anti-Tom Cruise Home Ultrasound Picture Ban – Not sure he qualifies for this category anymore. Anything he does seems to be written exclusively for WWT...? Cruise is gold people. Absolute gold.
• Chef to serve year in jail in stabbing incident – Chef rage? Road rage eat your heart out. (Via Fark.)
• When you play Wagner backwards, it goes, "I LOVE SATAN – See, heavy metal IS evil. (Via boingboing.)

Tags: weird, odd news

Die spam, die.

Over at adverb, Mack got hit today, as we all have at one point. Spammers are the internet equivalent of parking lot door dingers. Guess I wouldn’t mind so much if the writing was at least better than the Police Academy movies. But the bigger thing is after screwing up your blog, does anything ever really happen to them? Doubtful. Which puts me in a Vincent Vega Pulp Fiction kinda spam-control frame of mind. As Mr. Tarantino himself wrote with just a wee bit of liberty on my part:

No trial, no jury, straight to execution.

It’a been worth him doing it, if I coulda just caught em, you know what I mean?

It’s chicken shit. What’s more chicken shit than fuckin with a guy’s blog? You don’t fuck another man’s blog. That’s against the rules, you don’t do that.

Tags: advertising, brands, viral

Dude, yer gettin’ a Mac.

New spots from Apple here. Well, so much for my theory that recent Apple work is on par with Nike’s. Trying to recapture that old understated feel using reviews of the new Mac. The actor playing the Mac guy, Justin Long, is funny in his movies. But as for the spots? Too mellow Apple, I mean, dude.

Tags: advertising, apple, brands, viral, Mac

Random act of logo.

All pay heed: is there any logo or package more perfect than the one for the Boyer Mallow Cup? More perfect than that even? Their website. So um, incredible is it, that here is my open offer to Boyer: Because I would not be where I am today without the aid of the most perfect food known to mankind, I will redesign the site for free in exchange for a lifetime supply of Mallow Cups.

Tags: advertising, brands, logos

Weekly What The...?

• Shoelaces for Chucks – (Via aNYthing.)
• Animal costumes made from ski-gloves, flippers, tights, etc. – (Via boingboing.)
• The Beerbelly – stealth beverage container – Why? (via gizmag.)
• Woman, 62, Fights $1,431 Cable Porn Bill – just admit you watched and let's move on. (Via buzzpage.com)

Tags: weird, odd news

Kill-Kill, Doug-Doug

While the spots for TomTom have been out-out for a while, I saw another last night and I can’t take it any longer. The first one I saw featured an insecure girlfren-type berating her female, er, male navigator, Doug-Doug.

The product is cool – GPS for your car – and has potential to really ‘drive traffic’ to retail stores for brand promotions. The spots though, go for the obvious play-on-words that has the opposite effect of what using a tom-tom was intended for: communication. And that’s the last thing these spots inspire me to do. Dug-dug deep in the brief I see. I swear to you now, I want to punch the wall-wall.

(Image courtesy of adland-adland) Tags: advertising, brands, viral

'Scuse me while I shoot two guys – Tarantino to make Hendrix movie.

What else do you need to know. Very cool. (Via Buzz Patrol.)

Tags: advertising, brands, viral

Words to retire. Please.

Today a client actually used the word ‘spiffy.’ After that, I had to come up with a list of other marketing terms that should be BFL.*

1) Spiffy.
2) Zesty.
3) ...and its cousin, Robust.
4) Sensational!
5) Fantastic!
6) Sporty.
7) Nifty.
(8) Handy may be on the bubble, not sure yet.)

Ok ad-bitches, what say you?

*Banned for life

Tags: advertising, brands, marketing terms

Startling, but is it effective?

Leaning towards ‘wow’ on this campaign from Grey. Thanks to Serge at no-copy. As startling as this one.

Tags: advertising, brands, viral

Finally. A movie about art school.

Ok, the first movie about art school? I'll have to see it alone for John Malkovich as Professor Sandiford, ‘The Has-Been.’ After seeing the site though? Not sure how accurate the movie may be. No model in my figure drawing class ever looked like Sophia Myles.

Tags: advertising, brands, viral, Art School Confidential

NY Auto Show recap.

Braved the masses Saturday. Big difference between going on media day vs. general public day. Even though I couldn’t back up more than two feet to get pics, I did my best for you people in a photoblog recap. Click each image for smarmy remarks. (Read them all to get the Zep reference.)

Tags: advertising, brands, NY Auto Show, concept car

Cool Earth Day Site.

These Earth Day sites need to all look like Ecotonoha. For every 100 posts, they plant a tree. How cool is that.

Tags: advertising, brands, Earth Day

Why Blogs Matter.

(Note, this is an extension of a topic over at Media Orchard, where I’m sharing hosting duties with copywriter Andrea Weckerle, who specializes in PR.)

A fair amount of recent PR ‘blogosphere’ discussions question the value of blogs to companies, and, to a lesser degree, the public at large. Other discussions center around the value of the blogger. But the bottom line is in the bigger picture – blogs are ultimately about the act of personal communication to the masses, no matter who the audience is, the skill level of that communication, or who it comes from. This goes beyond just PR blogs. This goes beyond using grammar correctly.

This is about the need for people to tell a story. Their story.

Blogs offer people the chance to express views and emotions globally that no other form can. These views represent us no matter where we come from. Because if blogs don’t matter, then in effect, we don’t matter. And like Reese Witherspoon said as she accepted her Oscar, “I’m just tryin' to matter.”

There are two examples to illustrate that point and hopefully, also raise the value of blogs. After reading the passages, someone in the blogs-don’t-matter camp needs to explain why these don’t.

Iraqi soldier brought in off patrol, bleeding from entry and exit wounds in the stomach and back, very lucky to be alive, possible spinal damage as the high velocity 7.62 bullet tore huge holes into his body. The Navy medical staff seems to bring some type of order to the whole thing, cleans him up and bandages him, but it still sucks to look at this poor guy laying on the cot with nothing going for him but a lot of courage.

That’s from Chairborne Stranger, story of a solider in Iraq. Don’t tell him blogs don’t matter. No matter where you come out on the war, these men and women deserve respect and support for doing the toughest job there is right now. Reaching out from halfway around the world deserves your attention. Stop by and give some when you have a second. The reason we so-called ‘expert’ bloggers can chill out and rant from the safety of our PCs is because of soldiers like that. And because of his blog, we know now what he’s going through and can let him know almost as soon as he posts.

...Someone just reported in yelling about needing to sift through the debris and there have been several calls of “signal 25,” meaning dead bodies. Someone just called asking if a rescue team was needed.

It sounds pretty bad out there.

If you are reading this outside of the coastal counties of Mississippi and are considering coming back, just hold on. They probably won't let you through.
Mark, the Reuters photog who camped out last night, just came back from a scouting mission.

He said there is no city of Gulfport anymore.

That was from Dancing With Katrina. The reporters Mike Keller and Josh Norman won a Pulitzer Prize for that blog. What started out as ‘just another story’ about ‘just another hurricane’ became something else. People asking them about missing family members. People asking about their homes. Where else would people find out info that the networks don’t have time to, or that regular websites just can’t cover.

Blogs matter.

Technorati tags: PR, Public Relations, Marketing, Iraq War, Katrina